Friendship is something we all desire, and having great friends definitely improves our lives. They are often the people in our lives who make us better.
So why is it that we are so tormented by certain friendships? Some fizzle. Some go sour. Some just grow apart.
There are signs, big signs, that we often overlook. So today, I want to share with you seven that might mean a friendship has run its course.
1. You no longer agree with the quality of their character and lack of integrity.
2. You always do all of the work.
If your friendship is one-sided, then it might be time to re-evaluate. But it’s important to remember that good friendships sometimes shift to support one person over the other, depending on the season. So be honest with yourself and ask, Am I always doing all of the work, or am I doing all of the work right now–‘
3. You can’t truly be yourself.
If you feel like you need to be someone else when you’re around this person, there is a fear that they don’t accept you for who you really are.
4. You feel entirely responsible for their happiness.
You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You can be a part of their happiness, but you aren’t responsible for it.
5. You have very little that feels good about the relationship.
If the friendship isn’t adding to your life, then it’s time to dedicate your time to those who do lift you up.
6. There are trust issues.
If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a friendship.
7. They are immature.
There is no room for immaturity in friendships. If someone plays games, gossips or is unable to be an adult when it comes to your friendship… it’s time to move on.
If you read this and realize that there is someone in your life you need to distance yourself from, what do you do then? You have a couple options.
- Sit down and tell them directly that you don’t want to continue being friends. However, this is a tough approach and can sometimes cause more damage than good. In my experience, one of the few times this approach is necessary is when the other person has truly hit rock bottom and they need to understand the risk of losing you as a friend.
- Slowly allow things to drift apart. Just let the friendship progress into nonexistence.
I hope that by sharing these seven signs, I have shed some light on a particular relationship you have. But before you move forward and take action in a particular friendship that has gone south, ask yourself what is truly the best approach. Is a sit-down conversation really necessary? Or are you able to create personal boundaries with this person and just allow your relationship to organically shift?
This article originally appeared on ChaleneJohnson.com.
Chalene Johnson is a New York Times best-selling author, motivational speaker and founder of the SmartLife movement. As the host and creator of many fitness informercials and a regular guest on QVC, Johnson has sold more than 10 million DVDs and currently holds “The Guinness Book of World Records” for the most fitness videos. The Huffington Post recognized Johnson as one of the Top 50 Female Entrepreneurs to watch in 2017. Johnson and her husband and business partner Bret have been married for more than 20 years.