How to Confront Your Fear-Based Thoughts

UPDATED: June 5, 2019
PUBLISHED: October 19, 2016

If you’re always thinking about how badly life is treating you (and complaining to whoever will stand still long enough to regret doing so), you will always feel miserable.

Ever hear anyone say, “Misery loves company”? Being miserable doesn’t exactly attract good things to you. If you want to change your life for the better, start by consciously changing what you think… and what you say out loud.

Related: If You Want to Change Your Life, Change What You Think

It’s important you understand that no matter how big your problem is, no matter how overwhelming a situation might seem, it is always fear-based thoughts and the negative words we speak that allow them to become uncontrollable.

So the best way to take back your control is to stop worrying and complaining about your plight, and start talking back to that voice inside your head. Or as I like to call it, “the bigmouth inside your head.”

The bigmouth in your head is a continuous flow of fear-based thoughts, defensive emotions and beliefs that have been built from past experiences.

Here we go again.
Why is this happening to me?

Why can’t I ever get a break?
I will never be able to handle this.
What’s the use? No one cares anyway.

Sound like someone you know? Often, the bigmouth has become hardwired so it doesn’t even have to live in the head anymore. Sometimes it has a direct verbal pass out into the world.

Awareness is the first step to stifling the voice in your head and turning around a compulsively negative mindset. Once you recognize the dismal reality you are creating for yourself, you can step back and observe where it is taking you. If you don’t like where it is taking you (and you won’t, once you understand the consequences), take comfort in the fact that you have the power to change it. You do this by going on the offensive and counterattacking with empowering thoughts and words that instill hope, faith, confidence, courage and determination.

Whatever it is that is bringing you down, acknowledge the fear that represents it and immediately go on the offensive and talk back to your fears with a bombardment of emotionally charged words. Don’t be afraid to verbalize this.

If you’re worried about someone catching you talking to yourself and thinking you’re crazy, just remember the last time you looked in the mirror as you told off your boss. Hop in the car or take a walk so you can really give this voice a piece of your mind.

Listen, fear. I know you’re there and I know what you are trying to do. But it won’t work. It can’t because I’m in control here. I get to choose what thoughts flow through my mind! I get to choose the words that are coming out of my mouth. But most of all, fear, there is a force within me that is bigger than anything you can throw at me. So go ahead, hit me with your best shot. One thing is certain: I will prevail.

Do you see how empowering and emotionally charged words like these can lift your spirits and propel you forward? It just makes sense that the more positive your thoughts and words, the more confident you will feel and the easier it will be to shift perspective and see alternative actions that are open to you. That’s what gives you hope and enables you to see a higher outcome. And that’s how you acquire a positive attitude.

Related: It Takes a Positive Attitude to Achieve Positive Results

Steve Rizzo is the Attitude Adjuster. You can’t attend one of his keynote speeches and leave with the same attitude. He’s a personal development expert, comedian, motivational speaker, and best-selling author. It’s no surprise that he’s been inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame, an honor bestowed upon on fewer than 250 speakers worldwide since 1977. You can find out more at