When you hear the term influencer, you might conjure an image of a friendly face in your social media feed telling you all about their newest favorite product. This is certainly one type of influencer, but when it comes to leading, motivating and inspiring others, influencing skills go far beyond selling products to followers.
Influencing skills are the invisible force behind today’s most successful leaders. These skills are essential for effective leadership, steady career growth and strong interpersonal relationships.
Whether you’re managing a team, guiding a client or collaborating with teammates, your ability to influence how others think, feel and act can shape your career and your life. Additionally, positive influence isn’t about power plays or charm—it’s about connection, clarity and conviction, no matter what industry you’re in.
To lead well, you must learn to influence well. That includes communicating a strong point of view, building trust and inspiring people to take action. It also means being intentional about how you show up, listen and collaborate.
Let’s break down what influencing skills are, why they matter and how to sharpen yours. This guide will help you learn how to improve influence skills and how to influence others as a leader.
What Are Influencing Skills?
Influencing skills are your ability to shape outcomes and guide others’ decisions without relying on direct authority. These skills are rooted in emotional intelligence and strategic communication, including active listening. They help leaders communicate ideas in a way that earns support rather than demands compliance.
As Jon Michail, group CEO of Image Group International, puts it: “True influence is the ability to move people, not because you forced them…but because they want to move in your direction.”
This distinction sets influencing apart from manipulation or persuasion, common tropes in stereotypical sales roles. Influence invites alignment from all parties.
Key Traits of Influential People
Influential people often share core characteristics that make them stand out in both their words and presence. These traits include:
- Emotional intelligence – The ability to understand and respond to others’ emotions with care and authenticity
- Clarity – Delivering a message with conviction, structure, and purpose
- Consistency – Showing up in a way people can trust
- Credibility – Being known for your competence, values and results
- Relatability – Sharing experiences that help others feel seen and understood
While you can have some natural talent in these areas, these traits often take time to develop. They are cultivated through reflection and experience. As you strengthen these qualities, you naturally grow into someone others want to follow.
How to Improve Your Influencing Skills
The first thing you likely want to know is how do you influence others? It’s all about improving your influencing skills through practice. It’s helpful to put yourself into situations where you can influence at work, for example, and practice influencing peers.
Every expert we spoke with emphasized that influence is a skill set you can develop and improve upon. Once you master this skill, you can use your power and influence for positive impact.
Here are practical ways to build yours:
Build Trust and Credibility
Influence begins with integrity. Do your words match your actions? Do others trust your expertise? Kathy Robinson, multiple-time business founder, 20-year career/executive coach, and president of CXO Directions, says, “Most people think that influencing others requires charisma and magnetism (and it can), but it mostly requires an intentional, logical approach to getting others on board with your ideas and plans.”
Communicate With Clarity and Confidence
Don’t ignore the importance of solid communication skills when it comes to influencing peers and having true influence, especially in the workplace.
“A strong leader knows how to communicate in a way that makes people feel seen, heard and understood,” said Kimberly Brown, bestselling author, international keynote speaker and founder of Brown Leadership. “Whether you’re in a boardroom or on a Zoom call, your ability to command a room and navigate complexity through relationships is what sets you apart.”
Listen Actively and Empathetically
Mastering the art of active listening is critical to becoming a great influencer. At the heart of listening is curiosity. Marc Pitman, founder of Concord Leadership Group and author of The Surprising Gift of Doubt, said, “Too many leaders think influence means being more persuasive. Actually, it’s about being more curious.”
That interest must be paired with empathy, the key to building rapport and making someone feel heard and understood.
Seek to Understand Others’ Motivations
Strong influencers don’t push an agenda—they align with what matters to others. Robinson notes, “Wise influencers start with understanding the current state.” She explained the importance of having a full understanding of what a person is going through—their challenges and motivations—so you can adapt to their needs.
She adds that “the vision needs to engage each stakeholder in a way that they feel like they can no longer tolerate the current situation and that this plan that you are putting forth is the only way forward.”
Lead With Relatability
Understanding how to gain influence is dependent on your understanding of relatability. “The leaders who are making the biggest impact aren’t sitting on pedestals,” explains Jordan Gill, business strategist and founder of Systems Saved Me. “They’re sitting on podcasts, telling the truth about their journey, sharing lessons from the middle.”
“Relatability is what makes influence stick,” he adds.
In other words, a genuine connection established through a relatable journey is how you build influence. Being vulnerable and open about what you went through and how you felt establishes authenticity and relatability with your audience.
Align Your Energy
Learning how to influence by aligning your energy might sound complicated, but it’s really all about being aware of your own emotions and motivations.
“Start with self-awareness and nervous system regulation,” says Matalya Onuoha, integrative alignment coach, human design specialist and founder of Rewrite Coaching. “You can’t influence others when you’re dysregulated yourself. That’s where modalities like Neuro Energetic Encoding and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Tapping come in, to clear subconscious patterns that block authentic expression.”
She adds, “Influence is most impactful when it’s rooted in alignment, rather than agenda.”
Ask Better Questions
Effective influencers don’t tell people what to think. They help guide their audience toward understanding.
Onuoha recommends “asking powerful questions that invite self-discovery.” Well-timed, thought-provoking questions will allow people to feel as though they are reaching their own conclusions. With this technique, your influence will be genuine and lasting.
Control Your Narrative
To influence peers, it’s essential to take ownership over how you are perceived.
Michail shares that “influence is leadership’s invisible currency.” Managing how others perceive your brand and message gives you the foundation to lead from strength. Think of this as strategic framing—align your message with what others are ready to hear.
How to Be a Positive Influence on Others
It’s time to answer, how can you be a positive influence to others? And more specifically, how can you be an influence at work?
When you’re ready to increase your influence at work, these habits will help you build a foundation of respect and trust, elevating your skills and level of influence:
- Model the behavior you want to see.
- Acknowledge others’ strengths and ideas.
- Speak with calm certainty, even during uncertainty.
- Offer recognition freely and sincerely.
- Ask thoughtful questions and listen deeply.
- Create a sense of shared purpose.
- Offer support without micromanaging.
Influencing peers can be tough, but very worth the effort. As Brown explains, “When you consistently bring value and operate with integrity, peers begin to see you as a leader regardless of your job title.”
Measuring Your Level of Influence
As you develop your skills, you may wonder how to know if you’re improving. When you want to test whether your level of influence is growing, ask yourself:
- Do others seek out my opinion?
- Are my ideas often adopted or acted upon?
- Do my peers and colleagues trust me in high-pressure situations?
- Am I able to shift group dynamics in a positive way?
These are all signs that your presence in leadership roles carries weight. You might also take a cue from power and influence frameworks used in negotiations and leadership training to assess how you’re perceived.
Becoming a More Influential Leader
The ability to influence others isn’t about performance; it’s about practice.
Influential leaders are often those who listen more than they speak and inspire rather than instruct. They blend credibility with empathy, consistency with flexibility and vision with clarity.
Taz Thornton, business visibility coach, bestselling author and international speaker, put it best: “People don’t follow leaders because they shout the loudest. They follow those who walk their talk and create space for others to thrive.”
Take time to develop your skills and be genuine and empathetic. Through consistent efforts, you can make a positive impact and use your influencing skills to inspire others.
To take your leadership to the next level, continue developing your influencing skills, showing up consistently and leading from your values. For more on building your personal and professional leadership skills, explore jimrohn.com.
Photo by JLco Julia Amaral/Shutterstock
