Coach’s LetterAsk Before You Answer
The fastest way to grow your people is to stop solving their problems.
What people can’t get from a screen is someone who helps them think.
Greetings Ambitious Achievers!
Does this sound familiar?
Someone brings you a problem. Within thirty seconds, you know the answer.
So you give it to them.
It feels like leadership. It feels efficient. But most of the time, nothing changes.
Here’s why. Advice is free. Anyone can ask ChatGPT for it. What people can’t get from a screen is someone who helps them think.
When you hand someone an answer, you solve today’s problem and create tomorrow’s dependency. They come back next week with the same kind of problem, because the only thing they learned is to bring it to you.
When you ask the right question, something different happens. They find the answer themselves. And people rarely act on advice. They act on what they discover.
That is the difference between managing and coaching.
Try this experiment this week. When someone brings you a problem, ask three questions before you offer a single solution:
- What have you already tried?
- What do you think is really getting in the way?
- If you knew the answer, what would it be?
That last one sounds silly. Use it anyway. You’ll be amazed how often people already know.
You’ll feel the urge to jump in. Notice it and wait. Silence is where people do their best thinking.
You may still share your view at the end. That’s fine. But now you’re adding to their thinking instead of replacing it.
Do this for a month. Fewer problems land on your desk. Your people get sharper. You get your time back.
The best leaders don’t have all the answers.
They ask better questions.
–Matthew