The question “How would you describe a successful person?” breeds a flurry of descriptive answers. Some people might say these individuals are “intelligent,” “confident” or “passionate.” Perhaps others would label them as “disciplined” and “decisive.”
But, above all else, someone who is successful is resilient.
It’s easy to think that successful people breeze through life or are simply lucky. Instead, consider how they’ve learned to bounce back from setbacks. When faced with adversity, they don’t just cope with it—they grow stronger. This is primarily due to tapping into that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” mentality.
This tenacity is key to our growth and sense of well-being. Building resilience, however, is a process that takes time and practice. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to master this indispensable ability and apply it every day.
What is Resilience?
The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines resilience as, “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”
In simpler terms, resiliency is the ability to overcome trials and tribulations. If you fail or fall, you get back up. When the unexpected happens, a resilient person readjusts their sails and plots a new course. They are able to do so by regulating our own mindset and mental state.
The science behind resiliency has a great deal to do with our brain’s response to stress. Resilient people don’t necessarily feel less stress but can better adapt to its effects. Research shows that the main areas of their brains display enhanced connectivity. This includes the prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and amygdala. These regions are in charge of decision-making, emotional control, learning, and fear detection.
Heightened activity within and between these regions leads to better processing, emotional regulation and a more controlled reaction to threats. The entire brain works in unison to confront stress and mitigate negative effects.
Related: 5 Strategies to Help You Build Resilience in Uncertain Times
Why Resilience is Essential
The benefits of resilience extend far beyond managing our response to stress. It has a snowball effect that can impact nearly every area of our lives. Resiliency helps us to reduce overwhelm when faced with big life changes or unanticipated obstacles. It builds up our confidence and feelings of self-worth. Additionally, it helps us maintain a positive attitude and a sense of control.
Problem solving, productivity and communication become much easier with a resilient mindset. It allows you to find more success in the workplace and personal relationships. It can even protect you from mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression.
Here are some well-known people who embody resiliency and act as an inspiration:
- Nelson Mandela – Mandela endured not only lifelong oppression but also 27 years in prison because of his activism against racist laws. Even in the midst of his sentence, his beliefs never wavered, and following his release he went on to become the first-ever president of South Africa.
- J.K. Rowling – The success of the Harry Potter series wasn’t pure magic. J.K. Rowling faced many personal challenges along the way including a divorce, loss of her mother, financial troubles and struggles of being a single mom. Her first book was also rejected by numerous publishers before Bloomsbury finally accepted the work. Now, she is considered one of the most successful and influential authors of all time.
- Stephen Hawking – Stephen Hawking never let his physical disability define him or hinder his success. Despite being paralyzed from head to toe after he was diagnosed with ALS, he went on to achieve amazing things in the scientific community. He’s best known for contributing largely to theories on black holes, quantum gravity, and the Big Bang.
Related: 60 Resilience Quotes That Will Give You Strength
Common Barriers to Resilience
Resilience is tied to genetics and other psychological factors. But it can also considered a learned trait. Many outside factors can impact our ability to develop it. Thus, it’s important to be self-aware of the specific challenges that may prevent you from being more resilient.
Here are a few hindrances that could block you from building personal resilience:
- Negative thinking patterns
- Fear of failure
- Discrimination or social stigmas
- Long-term health issues (both physical and mental)
- A negative environment with a lack of safety or security
- Isolation or loneliness
Strategies for Building Resilience
As much as we hate to admit it, life is an unpredictable jumble of twists and turns. You can prepare, plan and even worry as much as you want, but there is no way to know exactly how things will shake out. We’re not all necessarily born with the innate mental toughness and resilience it takes to deal with this fact. However, there are plenty of ways to bolster our coping skills and survival mechanisms.
The 7 C’s of resilience defined by pediatrician and professor of pediatrics Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., M.S. Ed, lay out all the pieces of the essential pieces of the puzzle. These include competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping and control. Altogether, these factors form a stronger mindset. Use the following strategies to further develop each one:
- Cultivate a Positive Mindset: Be grateful for what you have, focus on solutions rather than problems and approach life with optimism and hope.
- Find Your Purpose: Dedicating time to the things you are passionate about is the ultimate source of motivation and gives your life meaning. This can also tie into contribution when the activities you choose to engage in support your community or the greater good.
- Face Fears: Confronting your challenges head-on is key for personal growth. It helps you to recognize that you are capable of handling whatever life throws at you.
- Strengthen Social Connections: Build a network of friends, family or mentors who can provide you with support, counsel and an outside perspective during difficult times.
- Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Don’t resort to unhealthy habits to cope, including ignoring your problems altogether. Instead, engage in grounding activities, like physical activity, mindfulness practices, journaling or spending time in nature.
- Learn from Setbacks: Accept that difficulties and disappointments will arise. But, also, learn to reframe your failures as opportunities for growth.
- Set Realistic Goals: Consider what you’re looking to accomplish and focus on the steps necessary to build confidence and momentum in your life. Remember to be patient with yourself along the way.
Maintaining Resilience in Everyday Life
Practicing resiliency doesn’t always come in the form of fire drills or life-altering events. There are habits you can build and things you can do every single day for the sake of resilience building.
Since stress management is at the root of resilience, this often starts with relaxation techniques and lifestyle changes that promote mental health. Create a steady routine for yourself and incorporate mindfulness exercises into your day. This could include meditation, deep breathing or yoga.
Effectively manage your time by time blocking and reducing your screen usage. But, also, take frequent breaks to reset. And, most importantly, take care of yourself in general by getting enough sleep, exercising, eating a balanced diet and making time for personal connection. You might be surprised what a difference these four simple tasks can make.
Remember, adaptability is key. Work on that “whatever will be, will be” mindset. Embrace change and never stop looking for new opportunities for growth. Then, take the time to reflect on your progress, check in with your emotions and celebrate small daily wins to boost your motivation.
Start Using Strategies to Build Resilience Today
The saying from the Greek philosopher Epictetus goes, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Even 2,000 years ago, people understood the deep value of resiliency.
With a resilient mind frame, we are all better equipped to handle the challenges life throws at us at a professional and personal level. And the good news is that we all have the power to build this essential skill. A positive mindset, healthy coping mechanisms and continued self-care can help you build emotional strength. That way, resiliency can be tucked in your back pocket during the times when you need it most.
Start incorporating resilience strategies daily so you can show up as the most confident, content and successful version of yourself.
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