Layoffs have become a familiar headline across industries. For many people, the fear of losing a job doesn’t just threaten their financial stability—it can also shake their whole sense of self. A recent Pew Research study found that nearly four in 10 professionals say their job is extremely or very important to their overall identity.
Image courtesy of Erin Pash
Erin Pash, a veteran therapist and the founder of Pash Co., says a layoff is a form of “ambiguous loss”—a type of loss that’s less tangible than someone passing away but still difficult to navigate.
“We have ambiguous loss all the time,” she says, “and nobody has to die for us to feel it just as hard as an actual death. And so job loss is absolutely a huge thing to grieve.”
Before founding a company that helps organizations improve health and connection among their employees, Pash worked as a therapist for more than two decades. Specializing in high-conflict families and trauma-informed interventions, she helped many people—and their loved ones—take the necessary steps to grieve a layoff, recover and find their next great opportunity. Here’s her advice for navigating this complex chapter of your career journey.
Preparation vs. Unproductive Worry
Whether or not you’re concerned about losing your job right now, it’s always a good idea to take steps that will strengthen your short- and long-term success. In other words, recovering from a layoff begins before the layoff even happens.
Still, Pash emphasizes how important it is to distinguish between “productive preparation” and “unproductive worry.”
That distinction, she says, is essential to staying grounded when uncertainty is high. After all, humans are wired with what Pash describes as an “anxiety meter,” a system that can either spur us to action or send us spiraling until we’re overwhelmed. In moments of job uncertainty, it’s important to keep your eye on that meter—or, as Pash says, ask yourself, “What am I doing to prepare versus what is really unproductive?”
She recommends focusing on tangible actions such as networking, building skills or contributing ideas at work, while also accepting what you can’t control. You can’t control your company’s budget, she says, but you can control the relationships you build or strengthen and the new ideas you bring to your team.
“A lot of unproductive worry comes from trying to control things that we don’t have any power over,” she says.
As anxiety rises, many professionals respond by pushing harder—working longer hours or trying to prove their value. But Pash says this often comes at the cost of their mental health. Instead, Pash recommends taking seemingly small but meaningful steps to focus on your mental health and, in doing so, lower your anxiety.
That might mean improving your sleep habits, taking breaks during the day or trying something new—even once. These are the same steps she recommends you take if a layoff does indeed happen.
The First Step
Before people can process that loss or plan their next career move, Pash says they need to regulate their physical response to stress.
“You can’t think rationally and problem solve when you’re overly emotional or in that survival brain,” she says.
The first step is simple but essential: calm the nervous system through deep breathing, hydration and a solid meal.
Only after that can people begin to think clearly about finances, next steps and long-term decisions.
Rebuilding Structure After a Layoff
After losing a job, one of the biggest challenges is the sudden loss of routine. Without structure, the days can quickly become overwhelming.
Pash recommends recreating a schedule—even if it feels artificial at first. That schedule can include job searching, networking and even emotional processing. Similarly, Pash recommends compartmentalizing each of your concerns into specific categories, such as finances, emotions and future planning, so that you can get in the mindset of addressing each issue individually.
Inevitably, one of those compartments is communication. You might find yourself wondering how you can tell your loved ones about your job loss, let alone what the days of uncertainty ahead might look like. But Pash recommends being upfront with your family and friends, especially when it comes to asking for help.
“The most important one is you need to find a way to communicate what type of support you’re needing,” she says.
That might mean asking someone to listen, offer advice or simply spend time together.
“You need different tools or people for different conversations,” Pash says, noting that a friend might help you process feelings while a financial advisor can help you make a plan.
Being specific can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen relationships when you need them most.
Remember: You’re More Than Your Job
Even with structure and support in place, Pash says it’s important to remember that recovery isn’t a clean, linear process. In fact, one of the most helpful skills during this time is learning how to hold multiple realities at once.
That might mean actively applying for jobs while still processing grief, or letting yourself enjoy moments of optimism alongside fear.
At the same time, she encourages people to resist the urge to rush into a rigid path forward. Many people assume they need to replace their old job with an identical one, but that’s not always the best outcome.
“I have seen so many people think this and that not happen and it be the best gift of their life,” she says.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to recover—it’s to remain open. At its core, job loss often forces people to confront how much of their identity is tied to their work.
Pash has seen this firsthand, both in her clients and in her own career.
“People get intertwined in what they do being who they are,” she says.
But over time, many people discover new paths that better align with their lives. In that sense, even a painful transition can become an opening for both a new job and a healthier, more sustainable way of life.
“Human beings [are] capable of a lot of versatility,” she says. “We’re capable of so many other things that we haven’t even tried yet.”
Featured image from voronaman/Shutterstock
