The Best Books on Boundaries and Guidance on Setting Healthy Ones

UPDATED: April 29, 2025
PUBLISHED: October 4, 2024
Young woman relaxes in her office while coworkers make demands, exercises boundaries

Boundaries are limits that define what behaviors you deem acceptable. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Setting healthy boundaries is necessary for your health and the health of your relationships.” Without clear limits, you may feel overwhelmed, drained, or suffer from workplace burnout.

“You can’t show up as your best self if you’re always running on empty, so make sure to set limits that protect your time, energy and well-being,” suggests Sal Raichbach, PsyD, LCSW. “Learning to say no, being honest about what you can handle and recognizing your own needs are all key parts of setting boundaries.”

Not surprisingly, one common way to learn more about boundary setting is to read. Books on boundaries offer guidance, practical strategies and real-life examples, so you’ll know when to say yes, gain the courage to say no and prioritize your needs without guilt.

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Top 10 Books on Setting Boundaries

Here’s the short list of our top 10 books on setting healthy boundaries so you can thrive personally and professionally:

  1. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
  2. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
  3. Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships
  4. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
  5. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
  6. The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
  7. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are
  8. Boundaries In Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
  9. Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward
  10. Boundaries In Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships

Books on Setting Boundaries for Personal Growth

Everyone has different types of relationships, which require different kinds of interactions. The following recommendations on boundary-setting books cover numerous aspects of life, such as personal, professional and romantic relationships.

Setting Boundaries in Family Relationships

Boundaries define personal space and responsibilities. The following books will help you create and maintain boundaries for a healthy family dynamic.

1. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

By Lindsay C. Gibson

Book cover of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson about the role of parents when learning to set healthy boundaries.

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (25,000 Reviews)

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a book that will help you grow. It offers readers practical strategies, real-life examples and psychological tips for making and maintaining healthy boundaries.

What Is Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents About?

In her New York Times bestselling book, Gibson explains how having emotionally immature parents as a child can lead to adult children experiencing long-lasting effects on their emotional development. For people struggling with self-esteem, setting boundaries and forming healthy relationships, this book promises that these wounds can be healed and outlines how to move forward in a positive way.

Who Should Read Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents?

Adults who recognize their relationships with their parents are toxic and need help and practical advice on how to set effective limits and break the cycle.

Buy this book on Amazon.

2. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

By Melody Beattie

Cover of "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (18,200 Reviews)

With a focus on codependent behavior, Codependent No More offers real-life experiences, exercises and self-tests to help you break free from bad habits and create healthy boundaries.

What Is Codependent No More About?

Best-selling author Melody Beattie helps people who have trouble prioritizing themselves and tend to put everyone else’s needs above their own. Tendencies like people-pleasing and feeling responsible for others’ emotions contribute to unhealthy relationships, and Codependent No More can teach you how to put a stop to them. 

Who Should Read Codependent No More?

Anyone who prioritizes other people and their needs before their own.

Buy this book on Amazon.

3. Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships

By Nedra Glover Tawwab

"Drama Free" book cover, a guide to managing unhealthy family relationships

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (1,300 Reviews)

In this practical guide on navigating unhealthy family relationships, you’ll learn to set healthy boundaries within toxic family dynamics and communicate effectively to improve your productivity and obtain a more fulfilling family life.

What Is Drama Free About?

Everyone deserves a drama-free family environment where they can thrive. Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab’s book focuses on identifying the cause and source of family drama, establishing healthy boundaries and communicating with relatives who cross them. This read can help prevent misunderstandings, reduce conflicts and protect your mental health.

Who Should Read Drama Free?

People who struggle with establishing limits and seek a simpler life.

Buy this book on Amazon.

Setting Boundaries in Professional Settings

Sometimes, the line between work and home is too thin. “Setting clear work hours, not checking emails after a certain time and making sure you actually take breaks helps protect your mental health and gives you space to recharge,” says Raichbach. The following books on boundaries in the workplace will help you do just that.

4. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

By Nedra Glover Tawwab

Cover of "Set Boundaries, Find Peace"

Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (10,000 Reviews)

Set Boundaries, Find Peace focuses on codependency and teaches practical strategies for healthy boundary setting in all aspects of your life via educational tips and exercises.

What Is Set Boundaries, Find Peace About?

Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist, uses Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) alongside simple but powerful techniques to help you find your voice and be assertive when speaking up for your needs. Her book reveals how to create mental health boundaries, stop being codependent and find the strength to be unapologetically and authentically yourself—in both your personal life and the workplace. Tawwab also offers advice on recognizing when someone is overstepping your boundaries and reasserting them respectfully and calmly.

Who Should Read Set Boundaries, Find Peace?

Anyone struggling with setting limits, especially if you have a hard time saying no or you’re experiencing stress or burnout.

Buy this book on Amazon.

5. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

"Boundaries" book cover

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (24,000 Reviews)

It’s essential to set clear limits. In Boundaries, you’ll learn when to say “yes,” where to say “no” and how to set boundaries in personal growth.

What Is Boundaries About?

Boundaries offers Bible-based ideas to explore how setting limits can improve every aspect of your life—from personal relationships with friends, spouses and children to professional environments and relationships with co-workers.

Who Should Read Boundaries?

Those with a real love for God and people—who might be struggling to say “no” or often feeling overwhelmed by others’ demands—looking for clear guidance on how to regain control of their life by setting healthy, spiritual boundaries.

Buy this book on Amazon.

6. The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

By Melissa Urban

"The Book of Boundaries" by Melissa Urban

 Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (8 Reviews)

In The Book of Boundaries, you’ll learn practical tools and strategies to set and maintain boundaries that not only protect your well-being but also improve your interactions in their personal, professional and romantic relationships.

What Is The Book Of Boundaries About?

This “New York Times” bestseller helps readers learn to communicate limits confidently and without guilt. Melissa Urban uses over 130 different scripts and real-life experiences to keep the book unique, relatable and fresh. This guide is easy to read and put into action, covering areas related to self-care and creating a positive work-life balance.

Who Should Read The Book Of Boundaries?

Everyone who enjoys reading scripts and benefits from real-life stories.

Buy this book on Amazon.

Maintaining Boundaries in Romantic Relationships

Boundaries benefit both parties in a relationship. Below, find the best relationship books on setting personal boundaries for romantic pairs.

7. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

By Lysa TerKeurst

Cover of "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" by Lysa Terkeurst

 Amazon Rating: 4.8 Stars (4,800 Reviews)

As one of our top ten best relationship books, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes effectively uses the Scriptures to show you how to react when someone tries to weaponize the Bible and insists you stay in an unhealthy relationship—whether it involves romance, friends or family. It gives practical advice on establishing these limits and recognizing when to say goodbye.

What Is Good Boundaries And Goodbyes About?

Written from a Christian standpoint, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes guides people who want to keep God at the forefront of their lives but get bogged down in the dynamics when setting boundaries.

Who Should Read Good Boundaries And Goodbyes?

Christians who struggle to define relationship boundaries while wanting to honor their faith and principles.

Buy this book on Amazon.

8. Boundaries In Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships

By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Cover of "Boundaries in Marriage," a book on setting healthy, achievable boundaries within a marriage

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (4,700 Reviews)

Boundaries help a good marriage become better. The book Boundaries in Marriage teaches married couples to set healthy, achievable boundaries within their marriage and promotes the critical step of accepting responsibility.

What Is Boundaries In Marriage About?

Establishing personal limits that include respect and love is essential in any marriage. Reading Boundaries in Marriage encourages honest and open communication to foster a strong and enduring relationship with your other half.

Who Should Read Boundaries In Marriage?

Married couples or those preparing for marriage who want to strengthen their relationship through better communication, respect and positive conflict management.

Buy this book on Amazon.

9. Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward

By Dr. Henry Cloud

"Necessary Endings" by Dr Henry Cloud

Amazon Rating: 4.7 Stars (2,600 Reviews)

Most people don’t like endings, but sometimes, we have to let go of relationships that hinder growth. Necessary Endings offers practical advice on spotting signs that it might be time to break connections and commit to defining boundaries for personal development.

What Is Necessary Endings About?

Necessary Endings emphasizes the importance of recognizing when a relationship or situation no longer serves you or your best interests. It is one of the best books on boundaries for anyone struggling to let go of unproductive relationships, jobs or commitments. Learning to say “no” can free up time and positively improve productivity. 

Who Should Read Necessary Endings?

Anyone who believes that personal or professional relationships may have run their course.

Buy this book on Amazon.

10. Boundaries In Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships

By Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

"Boundaries in Dating" by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr JOhn Townsend

Amazon Rating: 4.6 Stars (3,000 Reviews)

Dating is fun, but it can present many challenges. Boundaries in Dating helps readers establish clear limits, navigate common pitfalls and ensure a happy relationship.

What Is Boundaries In Dating About?

In one of the best books on boundaries in relationships, you’ll learn to identify red flags and foster a healthy connection with your partner while pacing the relationship correctly. Setting boundaries based on mutual respect is important, highlighting the need for conflict resolution that heals—rather than damages—your bond.

Who Should Read Boundaries In Dating?

Couples at all stages—from those who want to start their new relationship off on the right foot to well-established pairs. This is a self-help book you’ll actually want to be seen reading.

Buy this book on Amazon.

Set Limits Confidently With the Best Books on Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential to your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Take time to reflect on the interactions and expectations you deem acceptable. Be honest about what you need, and communicate these boundaries clearly.

The books referenced above provide researched insights, practical strategies and real-life examples to help you set limits with confidence. By implementing learned techniques, you’ll strengthen relationships and build a healthier, more balanced life.

This article was updated in April 2025. Photo by Meeko Media/Shutterstock.com.

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