Photograph of a white man with thick rimmed glasses and two women working over a desk with lots of papers and post it notes

Personal Development

Personal Development Archives

Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Emotional intelligence can seem innate, but there are many ways to develop it. Check out our guide on how to improve emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence can seem innate, but there are many ways to develop it. Check out our guide on how to improve emotional intelligence. | SUCCESS

24 Do’s and Don’ts to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Comment

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence: 24 Do’s and Don’ts | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/SOnline23_SEPT_DUPES_Improve-EQ.jpg

Home

SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/success_opengraph_image.png

Travis Bradberry

woman writes to-do list as a way to be organized and productive

<p>We often confuse being productive with working <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/yes-toxic-productivity-is-a-thing-heres-how-to-unlearn-it-and-make-peace-with-time/">as fast as we can</a> every second of the day. We fear that slowing down and organizing will kill our productivity, but the facts suggest otherwise:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>The average office employee spends “at least two hours a day—or 25% of their workweek—looking for the documents, information or people they need to do their jobs,” according to <a href="https://cts.businesswire.com/ct/CT?id=smartlink&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.glean.com&amp;esheet=52575547&amp;newsitemid=20220208005510&amp;lan=en-US&amp;anchor=Glean&amp;index=1&amp;md5=9ec011a7fccce3e84817abe0bb92b223" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Glean</a>’s 2022 <a href="https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20220208005510/en/Hybrid-Workplace-Habits-Hangups-Report-Frustrated-Employees-Spend-a-Quarter-of-Workweek-Searching-for-Information-Needed-to-Do-Their-Jobs" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Hybrid Workplace Habits &amp; Hangups</a> survey.</li>



<li>“54% of U.S. office professionals surveyed agreed that they spend more time searching for documents and files they need than responding to emails and messages,” according to <a href="https://www.elastic.co/pdf/unified-search-for-finding-workplace-content" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">a 2021 survey</a> conducted by Wakefield Research for Elastic. Even executives were frustrated—according to the same survey, <a href="https://www.elastic.co/pdf/workplace-search-infographic?elektra=blog&amp;rogue=new-state-of-find-gic" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leaders were three times</a> “more likely to say quick file search is a top problem than the teams they lead.”</li>



<li>According to a <a href="https://www.lendingtree.com/personal/late-bills-study/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">2022 LendingTree survey</a>, 23% of adults are late in paying their bills because they “forgot about the bill entirely,” while 22% didn’t forget the bill—but did forget when the due date was, assuming they had more time than they did.</li>
</ul>



<p>Being disorganized is costly, in terms of both money and time. But if you can convince yourself to slow down and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/microshifting-work-balance/">organize</a>, the ROI will shock you.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Habits of an organized, productive person</h2>



<p class="has-text-align-center">“For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned.” <em>–Benjamin Franklin</em></p>



<p>While Benjamin Franklin’s estimation is overstated, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/organize-your-to-do-list-into-these-4-categories/">spending time getting organized</a> is still a valuable investment. There’s a reason why people who are the calmest and least stressed are more productive. They understand the importance of organization, and they’ve adapted their habits accordingly. The good news is that you can become more organized and productive by emulating the habits that they rely on.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-an-organized-person-doesn-t-have-clutter-on-their-desks-nbsp">1. An organized person doesn’t have clutter on their desks.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>You may think you know exactly where, and in which stack of paper, you can find a particular document. But you’re kidding yourself if you don’t think you’d be more productive with a clean and organized desk. <a href="https://www.jneurosci.org/content/31/2/587#sec-14" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Research conducted by Princeton University</a> researchers in 2011 revealed that the more our brains are bombarded by the competing stimuli of clutter, the less we’re able to focus. And this wasn’t just subjective evidence. They were able to see the difference through the use of fMRIs of the subjects’ brain activity.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-they-never-touch-things-twice-nbsp">2. They never touch things twice.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Organized and productive people never put anything in a holding pattern, because touching things twice is a huge time waster. Don’t save an email or a phone call to deal with later. As soon as something gets your attention, you should act on it, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-delegate/">delegate it</a> or delete it.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-they-don-t-respond-to-emails-as-they-arrive-nbsp">3. They don’t respond to emails as they arrive.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Productive people <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/7-ways-to-free-up-an-extra-25-hours-a-week/">don’t allow their email</a> to be a constant interruption. In addition to checking their email on a schedule, they take advantage of features that prioritize messages by sender. They set alerts for their most important vendors and their best customers, and they save the rest until they reach a stopping point in their work. Some people even set up an autoresponder that lets senders know when they’ll be checking their email again.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-an-organized-person-works-from-a-single-to-do-list-nbsp">4. An organized person works from a single to-do list.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Remember the days when people used to buy those expensive, leather-bound planners and fill them up with a to-do list color-coded by priority? Those might seem a bit old-school now, but no one can deny that it was effective. Why were those planners effective? They reminded us how important it is to keep a single to-do list. When you consolidate everything into one list, you always know where to look. You can stop wasting time trying to remember which list has the information you need.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-they-have-a-high-level-of-self-awareness-nbsp">5. They have a high level of self-awareness.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Highly productive and organized people have a clear sense of who they are. They know their weaknesses, and they put organizational structures in place to overcome them. If they tend to let meetings run too long, they set a timer. Those who have trouble keeping meetings productive make an agenda. If they forget to check their voicemail in the morning, they set a reminder. The details don’t matter. What’s important is that they think carefully and use specific aids and routines that work with their organizational weaknesses.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-an-organized-productive-person-makes-time-for-lunch-nbsp">6. An organized, productive person makes time for lunch.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>We’ve all been there—you’re head-down busy, and by the time you look up, it’s way past lunchtime. You end up either going without, or grabbing a donut or a bag of chips from the snack machine. Both are really bad ideas. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/CIA.S211534" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Consistent consumption of sugar</a> or other high-fat foods can <a href="https://neurosciencenews.com/mental-fatigue-diet-16256/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">negatively affect cognitive functioning</a> and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6835535/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">increase tiredness</a>. As far as skipping meals, not only does it <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5c8baca1e5f7d136349ea789/t/5ff35f14143c0d28f267b5bc/1609785110197/Datta+et+al+2020.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">affect your memory</a>, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.700989/full" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">concentration</a> and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7443458/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mental and physical health</a>, it also affects your waistline—and not in the way you might expect. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9115715/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A secondary analysis</a> published in the <em>Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics</em> found: “Skipping meals was associated with less healthy food purchases at work, and skipping breakfast was associated with lower dietary quality.”</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-7-they-eat-frogs-nbsp">7. They eat frogs.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>“Eating a frog” is one of the best antidotes for procrastination; ultra-productive people start each morning with this tasty “treat.” In other words, they do the least appetizing, most dreaded item on their list first, before they do anything else. After that, they’re freed up to tackle the stuff that excites and inspires them.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-8-an-organized-productive-person-cleans-up-at-the-end-of-each-day-nbsp">8. An organized, productive person cleans up at the end of each day.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>The best remedy for clutter? Set aside about 10 minutes at the end of each day to organize your desk. Although we know that it’s best to touch things only once, we’ve all stopped halfway through a task because the phone rang or somebody stopped by to chat. You really can’t prevent such things, but you <em>can</em> end the day by resolving all of the things you left half-finished.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-9-they-plan-their-days-the-night-before-nbsp">9. They plan their days the night before.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Organized and productive people go to bed each night secure in the knowledge of what they’ll accomplish the following day. They get their priorities straight the night before, so that once the day starts, they’re less likely to let the “<a href="https://toggl.com/blog/tyranny-of-the-urgent" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tyranny of the urgent</a>”—those little fires that pop up and get in the way of their real priorities—distract them.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-10-they-make-full-use-of-technology-nbsp">10. They make full use of technology.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>There’s been a lot said about how modern technology extends the workday, making it so that we’re always on the clock. While that may be true, technology can also make us more productive. Whether it’s setting up an email filter to keep your inbox spam-free, or using an app like Evernote to organize information you’re going to need again, technology isn’t always bad. Used properly, it can save a lot of time.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-11-an-organized-person-doesn-t-ignore-their-snail-mail-nbsp">11. An organized person doesn’t ignore their snail mail.&nbsp;</h3>



<p>For this one, we go back to the “touch it once” philosophy. For most of us, there’s not a lot of snail mail these days that we actually look forward to. But ignoring it can cause problems, especially when it comes to things like bills and tax notifications. Just go ahead and open it, and take care of it as soon as it arrives; otherwise, you’ll end up digging under the sofa cushions searching for that overdue bill.</p>



<p>Every minute you spend looking for something, or trying to remember what you need to do next, will harm your productivity. That in turn eats into your career potential. The good news is that there are many tools you can use to stay organized and productive, and so even the most disorganized among us can put a system in place to keep ourselves in check.</p>



<p>What tools do you use to stay organized and productive?</p>



<p><em>This article was originally published on LinkedIn Pulse.</em></p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was published in November 2020 and has been updated. Photo by Roman Samborskyi/Shutterstock</em></p>

If you find that your productivity at work and in life is terrible, consider adopting the habits of a highly organized and productive person.

If you find that your productivity at work and in life is terrible, consider adopting the habits of a highly organized and productive person. | SUCCESS

11 Things Organized and Productive People Do Every Day

11 Ways to Be a More Productive, Organized Person | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/organized-productive-person.jpg

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His best-selling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry is a top LinkedIn Influencer and he has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/fc7f19cc52e4f9d3b8fef19f097a916c743bc8306ba2d93c48b81fb1d6f277c7?s=96&d=mm&r=g

Business &amp; Branding

Business &amp; Branding Archives

Stay ahead in business: strategies and insights for success

<p><em>Genuine people have a profound impact upon everyone they encounter. In this article, originally published on</em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/importance-being-genuine-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em> LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry unveils the unique habits that cause genuine individuals to radiate with energy and confidence.</em></p>



<p>There is <a href="https://pdf.sciencedirectassets.com/271839/AIP/1-s2.0-S1359178921000562/main.pdf?X-Amz-Security-Token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEIL%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEaCXVzLWVhc3QtMSJHMEUCIQDuhQi%2FauS9MUV9eO61Aw7GpmTIi%2B%2FFKvroMsq%2FpU%2FcnQIgASBkl00P8hsmLQ0lWAO2h60MjQjJx3sGPqupzEeicA0qzAQIGxAFGgwwNTkwMDM1NDY4NjUiDLCH%2BllAj9yYajahBSqpBMkMkBPN2hNvbkYYhI%2FIMSfKfdXGK1Owbrgrcbk4h0hJrJApUjuDSBhsu6tL1zrc8nk44mfVuYzNwtC2YfciVBTpHT%2ByiIBLRn4r%2Bh7vOtIyyrwFkg6%2BD2eqGoNlBvCwhdrplrgdAIiLT18VO6HnDf%2F6f1juzMADnff9UDmoAerEGA8jjLKz7hJUn6ChRg9vQJbkXJrHD5uBDyKZxDCAICxn3IFFucDY%2BYn1boNREl3Vvh6dHVS9Rs7Hj%2FOIuQhMsB4TCEgFHA4hX27J%2FDhg%2BoIic9sdISQHboFLJPtKc%2FsgtOQc78E6FcvJu%2BnOK4K4hDHvYczdjdkwzAzWbCLjdPZnhrZ56S2LLz5Jk%2BeWIyrAuy3lvK3fzqVvnAI2wudQZqtZd1yvBD2kz4HFiMlDWVoyDRsOzXs6FdtUA6O%2F0%2F6kFIcYKlvmqLfY%2FBCsTGfV%2FNzh3YdnIjYf5NotIWX21gWruALOh5X5AcAkqduGFzunfd%2FWC4304utHmEt1%2BoBK7RItZhzaTXFVOjPXN390sjpVx0QvaOyERUMuR4EEkYuELMKUlzo3HqdyzHNplAXwouDaZMkCKdE2OiWMqgSBcDobQnTpwEtXUEP9mxTQ9SSiz0A8v3zqaT806ytBpy%2FvkqHsY04W2dwS%2B4ZQqICAznfODrMPU0pT4eUR%2FyXc%2BQjiuemzp7QRUUcIO6ZCiKq6sCz%2B2ewIyFWcAVpHE95doJVowWHI7cePPQcw%2BLDjmAY6qQFp%2F1ZDKmvqhyqWtGr7rWwwC%2F2hul%2FTR7R2UoDPPqIZoUs5%2Fw8zy7TW6zZz%2F5c6jJAHW9jC7qYF3rd5ksQVKnkmYEg8moK9eeXqW%2F4DfDbnq7wLzrcaSC3CziwL2oVu0Tz9cnruZ0uosN83VSUFlLLamPeVJLH4lZ5cXivIEWQw6WW4WDp72NvUFKzmgCl4DU5I5oi3zNeHf0dInz061QGvhCp4XTvqjqMM&amp;X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&amp;X-Amz-Date=20220907T184127Z&amp;X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&amp;X-Amz-Expires=300&amp;X-Amz-Credential=ASIAQ3PHCVTYQWVPWJHY%2F20220907%2Fus-east-1%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&amp;X-Amz-Signature=b70ddef56f6646ca818c86b3f6596eeb0104fa89445de70f145d54bd57d33fbe&amp;hash=1932854f51805c8c7e40780d17470e810464e831f57fcc1318cc3ab257c64870&amp;host=68042c943591013ac2b2430a89b270f6af2c76d8dfd086a07176afe7c76c2c61&amp;pii=S1359178921000562&amp;tid=spdf-dbc66cdb-7d4f-4181-be15-72a00daa356b&amp;sid=06189d355d091040125ac561a48a2fbe6f30gxrqa&amp;type=client&amp;ua=5952505457565d520d&amp;rr=74719424bfae7d03" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">plenty of research</a> suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344235252_A_Study_on_Emotional_Intelligence_and_its_role_on_Job_performance" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">your performance at work</a>. <a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">TalentSmart</a> has tested the EQ of more than a million people and found that it explains 58% of success in all types of jobs. According to the same research, people with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs, 90% of top performers have high EQs and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. I could go on and on.</p>



<p>Suffice to say, emotional intelligence is a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with tremendous results.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image aligncenter"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/EQ.jpg" alt="EQ" class="wp-image-34928" title="EQ"/></figure>



<p>But there’s a catch. Emotional intelligence won’t do a thing for you if you aren’t genuine.</p>



<p>A study from the Foster School of Business at the University of Washington found that people don’t accept demonstrations of emotional intelligence at face value. They’re too skeptical for that. They don’t just want to see signs of emotional intelligence, they want to know that it’s genuine—that your emotions are authentic.</p>



<p>According to lead researcher Christina Fong, when it comes to your co-workers, “They are not just mindless automatons. They think about the emotions they see and care whether they are sincere or manipulative.”</p>



<p>The same study found that sincere leaders are far more effective at motivating people because they inspire trust and admiration through their <em>actions, </em>not just their words. Many leaders <em>say</em> that authenticity is important to them, but genuine leaders walk their talk every day.</p>



<p>It’s not enough to just go through the motions, trying to demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional intelligence. You have to be genuine.</p>



<p>You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by comparing your own behavior to that of people who are highly genuine. Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up:</p>



<h2 id="h-1-genuine-people-don-t-try-to-make-people-like-them"><strong>1. Genuine people don’t try to make people like them.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-key-behaviors-for-bringing-your-whole-self-to-work/">are who they are</a>. They know that some<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-habits-of-ultra-likeable-leaders/"> </a>people will like them, and some won’t. And they’re OK with that. It’s not that they don’t care whether or not other people like them, it’s simply that they’re not going to let that get in the way of doing the right thing. They’re willing to make unpopular decisions and to take unpopular positions if that’s what needs to be done.</p>



<p>Since genuine people aren’t desperate for attention, they don’t try to show off. They know that when they speak in a friendly, confident and concise manner, people are much more attentive to and interested in what they have to say than if they try to show that they’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what or how many people you know.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-they-don-t-pass-judgment"><strong>2. They don’t pass judgment.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people are open-minded, which makes them approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen to different points of view.</p>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-tips-to-keep-an-open-mind/">Having an open mind</a> is crucial in the workplace, as approachability means access to new ideas and willing assistance when you need it. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require you to believe what they believe or condone their behavior; it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-they-forge-their-own-paths"><strong>3. They forge their own paths.</strong></h2>



<p>Because genuine people don’t derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from the opinions of others, they are free to follow their own internal compasses. They know who they are and don’t pretend to be anything else. Their direction comes from within, from their own principles and values. They do what they believe to be the right thing, and they’re not swayed by the fact that somebody might not like it.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-they-are-generous"><strong>4. They are generous.</strong></h2>



<p>We’ve all worked with people who constantly hold something back, whether it’s knowledge or resources. They act as if they’re afraid you’ll outshine them if they give you access to everything you need to do your job. Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know and the resources they have access to. They want you to do well more than anything else because they’re team players, and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-daily-tips-for-building-self-confidence/">they’re confident enough</a> to never worry that your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your success <em>is</em> their success.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-they-treat-everyone-with-respect"><strong>5. They treat </strong><strong><em>everyone</em></strong><strong> with respect.</strong></h2>



<p>Whether interacting with their biggest clients or servers taking their drink orders, genuine people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that no matter how nice they are to the people they have lunch with, it’s all for naught if those people witness them behaving badly toward others. Genuine people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-they-aren-t-motivated-by-material-things"><strong>6. They aren’t motivated by material things.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people don’t need shiny, fancy stuff in order to feel good. It’s not that they think it’s wrong to go out and buy the latest and greatest items to show off their status; they just don’t need to do this to be happy. Their happiness comes from within, as well as from the simpler pleasures—such as friends, family and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-my-purpose-in-life/">a sense of purpose</a>—that make life rich.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-they-are-trustworthy"><strong>7. They are trustworthy.</strong></h2>



<p>People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-tried-and-true-steps-to-building-trust/"> </a>trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people mean what they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it. You’ll never hear a truly genuine person say, “Oh, I just said that to make the meeting end faster.” You know that if they say something, it’s because they believe it to be true.</p>



<h2 id="h-8-they-are-thick-skinned"><strong>8. They are thick-skinned.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people have a strong enough sense of self that they don’t go around seeing offense that isn’t there. If somebody criticizes one of their ideas, they don’t treat this as a personal attack. There’s no need for them to jump to conclusions, feel insulted and start plotting their revenge. They’re able to objectively evaluate negative and constructive feedback, accept what works, put it into practice and leave the rest of it behind without developing hard feelings.</p>



<h2 id="h-9-they-put-away-their-phones"><strong>9. They put away their phones.</strong></h2>



<p>Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on it. Conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them. When you robotically approach people with small talk and are<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/12-steps-to-breaking-smartphone-addiction/"> tethered to your phone</a>, this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Genuine people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life.</p>



<h2 id="h-10-they-aren-t-driven-by-ego"><strong>10. They aren’t driven by ego.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people don’t make decisions based on their<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-keep-your-ego-from-getting-the-best-of-you/"> </a>egos because they don’t need the admiration of others in order to feel good about themselves. Likewise, they don’t seek the limelight or try to take credit for other people’s accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying, “Hey, look at me!”</p>



<h2 id="h-11-they-aren-t-hypocrites"><strong>11. They aren’t hypocrites.</strong></h2>



<p>Genuine people practice what they preach. Largely due to their self-awareness, they don’t tell you to do one thing and then do the opposite themselves. Many hypocrites, on the other hand, are blind to their own weaknesses and don’t even recognize their mistakes. Genuine people fix their own problems first.</p>



<h2 id="h-12-they-don-t-brag"><strong>12. They don’t brag.</strong></h2>



<p>We’ve all worked with people who can’t stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments. Have you ever wondered why? They boast and brag because they’re insecure and worried that if they don’t point out their accomplishments, no one will notice. Genuine people don’t need to brag. They’re confident in their accomplishments, but they also realize that when you do something that matters, it stands on its own merits, regardless of how many people notice or appreciate it.</p>



<p>Genuine people know who they are. They are<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently/"> </a>confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. They are firmly grounded in reality, and they’re truly present in each moment because they’re not trying to figure out someone else’s agenda or worrying about their own.</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was published in April 2019 and has been updated. Photo by Krakenimages.com/Shutterstock</em></p>

You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by comparing your own behavior to that of people who are highly genuine.

You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by comparing your own behavior to that of people who are highly genuine. Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up. | SUCCESS

12 Habits of Genuine People

12 Habits of Genuine People | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/12-Habits-of-Genuine-People-Web.jpg

10 Fundamental Truths That Will Change Your Life

Lifestyle

Lifestyle Archives

Elevate your lifestyle for success and happiness

<p>It’s surprising how easy it is to lose sight of the important things in life. Busy schedules and regular routines have a tendency to put the brain on autopilot.</p>



<p>When things aren’t going quite the way you’d like them to, it’s often because you’ve lost focus on what really matters. But focusing on life’s fundamental truths can be difficult, especially when they remind you that you’re heading in the wrong direction.</p>



<p>The best things in life don’t come easily, and failing to observe yourself carefully is a sure path to<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/taking-the-first-step/"> </a>mediocrity. I believe that Socrates said it best: “The unexamined life isn’t worth living.”</p>



<p>Socrates’ observation also applies to business. When Eric Schmidt was CEO of Google, he famously said, “We run this company by questions, not by answers.”</p>



<p>Life and business both <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-quality-of-your-life-is-determined-by-the-quality-of-your-questions/">run on questions</a>, not answers. You should be asking yourself regularly if you’re headed in the right direction.</p>



<p>Many of life’s essential truths need repeating. We need reminders that help us to stay focused on them. Keep these truths handy and they’re sure to give you a much-needed boost:</p>



<h2 id="h-1-great-success-is-often-preceded-by-failure">1. Great success is often preceded by failure.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>You will never experience true success until you <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-failure-is-good-for-success/">learn to embrace failure</a>. Your<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-mistakes-smart-people-never-make-twice/"> </a>mistakes pave the way for you to succeed by revealing when you’re on the wrong path.</p>



<p>The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, <a href="https://hbr.org/2022/03/what-it-means-to-truly-think-outside-the-box" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">to look outside the box</a> and to see the solution that you’ve been missing.</p>



<p>Success takes<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/patience-is-a-superpower/"> </a>patience and the ability to maintain a good attitude even while suffering for what you believe in.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-being-busy-does-not-equal-being-productive">2. Being busy does not equal being productive.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Look at everyone around you. They all seem so busy—running from meeting to meeting and firing off emails. Yet how many of them are really producing, really succeeding at a high level?</p>



<p>Success doesn’t come from movement and activity. It comes from focus—from ensuring that your time is being used efficiently and productively.</p>



<p>You get the same number of hours in the day as everyone else. Use yours wisely. After all, you’re the product of your output, not your effort. Make certain your efforts are dedicated to tasks that get results.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-you-re-only-as-good-as-those-you-associate-with">3. You’re only as good as those you associate with.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>You should strive to surround yourself with people who inspire you, people who make you want to be better. And you probably do. But what about<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-toxic-people-you-should-avoid/"> </a>the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-toxic-people-you-should-avoid/">people who drag you down</a>? Why do you allow them to be a part of your life?</p>



<p>Anyone who makes you feel worthless, anxious or uninspired is wasting your time and, quite possibly, making you more like them. Life is too short to associate with people like this. Cut them loose.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-you-re-living-the-life-you-ve-created">4. You’re living the life you’ve created.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>You are not a victim of circumstance. No one can force you to make decisions and take actions that run contrary to your values and aspirations.</p>



<p>The circumstances you’re living in today are your own—you created them. Likewise, your future is entirely up to you. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s probably because you’re afraid to take the risks necessary to<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-hack-your-goals-for-future-you/"> </a><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-steps-to-manifest-your-goals-in-life-yes-it-really-does-work/">achieve your goals</a> and live your dreams.</p>



<p>When it’s time to take action, remember that it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of one you don’t.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-fear-is-the-no-1-source-of-regret">5. Fear is the No. 1 source of regret.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>When it’s all said and done, you will lament the chances you didn’t take far more than you will your failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks.</p>



<p>I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.</p>



<p>The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-you-don-t-have-to-wait-for-an-apology-to-forgive">6. You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Life goes a lot smoother once you let go of grudges and forgive even those who never said they were<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-apology-tour/"> </a>sorry. Grudges let negative events from your past ruin today’s happiness. Hate and anger are emotional parasites that destroy your joy in life.</p>



<p>The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge create a stress response in your body, and holding on to stress can have devastating health consequences. <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2785948?guestAccessKey=159b04ae-59cd-4506-b8f4-86bf01113a3c&amp;utm_source=For_The_Media&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=ftm_links&amp;utm_content=tfl&amp;utm_term=110921" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Researchers at Emory University</a> have shown that holding on to stress contributes to heart problems.</p>



<p>When you forgive someone, it doesn’t condone their actions; it simply frees you from being their eternal victim.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-live-in-the-moment">7. Live in the moment.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>You can’t reach your full potential until you learn to<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/mindset-and-the-happiness-factor/"> </a>live your life in the present.</p>



<p>No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.</p>



<p>To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things:</p>



<ol><li><strong>Accept your past</strong>. If you don’t <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-let-go-of-regret/">make peace with your past</a>, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future.</li><li><strong>Accept the uncertainty of the future</strong>. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”</li></ol>



<h2 id="h-8-your-self-worth-must-come-from-within">8. Your self-worth must come from within.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction is derived from <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-tips-to-help-you-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/">comparing yourself to others</a>, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. When you feel good about something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments to take that away from you.</p>



<p>While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain: You’re never as good or bad as they say you are.</p>



<h2 id="h-9-life-is-short">9. Life is short.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Yet when someone dies unexpectedly, it causes us to take stock of our own life: what’s really important, how we spend our time and how we treat other people.</p>



<p>Loss is a raw, visceral reminder of the frailty of life. <em>It shouldn’t be.</em></p>



<p>Remind yourself every morning when you wake up that each day is a gift and you’re bound to make the most of the blessings you’ve been given. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing is the moment it will start acting like one.</p>



<p>After all, a great day begins with a great mindset.</p>



<h2 id="h-10-change-is-inevitable-embrace-it">10. Change is inevitable—embrace it.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize—and capitalize on—<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/change-is-growth-3-tips-for-embracing-new-opportunities/">the opportunities that change creates</a>.</p>



<p>You’re bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.</p>



<p>Life doesn’t stop for anyone. When things are going well, appreciate them and enjoy them, as they are bound to change. If you are always searching for something more, something better, that you think is going to make you happy, you’ll never be present enough to enjoy the great moments before they’re gone.</p>



<p class="has-text-align-center">***</p>



<p>Staying focused and asking the hard questions can be extremely uncomfortable. But we don’t learn and grow by sticking with what’s comfortable.</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was published in February 2020 and has been updated. Photo by Soloviova Liudmyla/Shutterstock This article was originally published on <a aria-label=" (opens in a new tab)" href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/ten-fundamental-truths-change-your-life-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">LinkedIn Pulse</a>. </em></p>

Many of life’s essential truths need repeating. We need reminders that help us to stay focused on them. Keep these truths handy and they’re sure to give you a much-needed boost.

Many of life’s essential truths need repeating. We need reminders that help us to stay focused on them. Keep these truths handy and they’re sure to give you a much-needed boost. | SUCCESS

10 Fundamental Truths That Will Change Your Life | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/10-Truths-That-Will-Change-Your-Life.jpg

<p>It’s truly fascinating how successful people approach problems. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-turn-any-challenge-into-a-life-changing-opportunity/">challenges to embrace</a> and obstacles to overcome.</p>



<p>Their confidence in the face of hardship is driven by the ability to let go of the negativity that holds so many otherwise sensible people back.</p>



<p>Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania has extensively studied this phenomenon, and he found that success in life is driven by one critical distinction: whether you believe your failures are produced by personal deficits beyond your control or they are <a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/how-to-fix-your-mistakes-fe3ac48d3595" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mistakes you can fix</a> with effort.</p>



<p>Success isn’t the only thing determined by your mindset. Seligman has found much higher rates of depression in people who attribute their failures to personal deficits. <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2022/01/31/are-you-harnessing-the-power-of-optimism/?sh=36441a5b1037">Optimists fare better</a>; they treat failures as learning experiences and believe they can do better in the future.</p>



<p>This success mindset requires<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6808549/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"> emotional intelligence</a> (EQ), and it’s no wonder that, among the million-plus people that<a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"> TalentSmart</a> has tested, 90% of top performers have high EQs.</p>



<p>Maintaining a success mindset isn’t easy. There are seven things in particular that tend to shatter it. These challenges drag people down because they appear to be barriers that cannot be overcome. Not so for successful people, as these seven challenges never hold them back.</p>



<h2 id="h-1-age">1. Age</h2>



<p>Age really is just a number. Successful people don’t let their age define who they are and what they are capable of. Just ask Betty White or any young, thriving entrepreneur.</p>



<p>I remember a professor in graduate school who told our class that we were all too young and inexperienced to do consulting work. He said we had to go work for another company for several years before we could hope to succeed as independent consultants. I was the youngest person in the class, and I sat there doing work for my consulting clients while he droned on.</p>



<p>Without fail, people feel compelled to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do because of your age. Don’t listen to them. Successful people certainly don’t. They follow their heart and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/9-ways-to-know-what-passion-you-should-pursue/">allow their passion</a>—not the body they’re living in—to be their guide.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-what-other-people-think">2. What other people think</h2>



<p>When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction is derived from <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-tips-to-help-you-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/">comparing yourself to others</a>, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. Although it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to hold up your accomplishments to anyone else’s, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.</p>



<p>Successful people know that caring about what other people think is a waste of time and energy. When successful people feel good about something they’ve done, they don’t let anyone’s opinions take that away from them.</p>



<p>No matter what other people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain: You’re never as good or as bad as they say you are.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-toxic-people">3. Toxic people</h2>



<p>Successful people believe in a simple notion: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.</p>



<p>Think about it: Some of the most successful companies in recent history were founded by brilliant pairs. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak of Apple lived in the same neighborhood, Bill Gates and Paul Allen of Microsoft met in prep school and Sergey Brin and Larry Page of Google met at Stanford.</p>



<p>Just as great people help you to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/continually-reach-your-potential/">reach your full potential</a>, toxic people drag you down with them. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome or just plain craziness,<strong> </strong><a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one#recognizing-it" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">toxic people</a> create stress and strife that should be avoided at all costs.</p>



<p>If you’re unhappy with where you are in your life, take a look around. More often than not, the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are the root of your problems.</p>



<p>You’ll never reach your peak until you surround yourself with the right people.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-fear">4. Fear</h2>



<p>Fear is nothing more than a lingering <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-get-over-your-fears-and-get-on-with-your-life/">emotion fueled by your imagination</a>. Danger<em> </em>is real—it’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice.</p>



<p>Successful people know this better than anyone, so they flip fear on its head. They are inspired by the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.</p>



<p>Don’t ever hold back in life just because you feel scared. I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” But death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-negativity">5. Negativity</h2>



<p>Life won’t always go the way you want it to, but when it comes down to it, you have the same 24 hours as everyone else. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-5-tips-for-using-your-time-wisely/">Successful people make their time count</a>. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have been, they reflect on everything they have to be grateful for. Then they find the best solution available, tackle the problem and move on.</p>



<p>When the negativity comes from someone else, successful people avoid it by setting limits and distancing themselves from it. Think of it this way: If the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke? Of course not. You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with all negative people.</p>



<p>A great way to stop complainers in their tracks is to ask them how they intend to fix the problem they’re complaining about. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-the-past-or-the-future">6. The past or the future</h2>



<p>Similar to fear, the past and future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Successful people know this, and they focus on living in the present moment. It’s impossible to reach your full potential if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.</p>



<p>To live in the moment, you must do two things:</p>



<ul><li><strong>Accept your past.</strong> If you don’t <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-you-cant-live-in-the-past/">make peace with your past</a>, it will never leave you and it will create your future. Successful people know the only good time to look at the past is to see how far they’ve come.</li><li><strong>Accept the uncertainty of the future.</strong> Don’t place unnecessary expectations upon yourself. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”</li></ul>



<h2 id="h-7-the-state-of-the-world">7. The state of the world&nbsp;&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time and you’ll see it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is quickly headed downhill.</p>



<p>And who knows? Maybe it is. But successful people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. Instead, they focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power: their attention and their effort.</p>



<p>They focus their attention on all the things they’re grateful for, and they look for the good that’s happening in the world. They focus their effort on doing what they can every single day to improve their own lives and the world around them, because these small steps are all it takes to make the world a better place.</p>



<p>Your success is driven by your mindset. With <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-keys-to-developing-daily-disciplines/">discipline and focus</a>, you can ensure these seven obstacles never hold you back from reaching your full potential.</p>



<p><em>This article was originally published on</em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-challenges-only-successful-people-overcome-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=mp-reader-card" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em> LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em> and has been updated. Photo by @Ablozhka</em>/Twenty20</p>

It’s truly fascinating how successful people approach problems. Their confidence in the face of hardship is driven by the ability to let go of the negativity that holds so many otherwise sensible people back.

It’s truly fascinating how successful people approach problems. Their confidence in the face of hardship is driven by the ability to let go of the negativity that holds so many otherwise sensible people back. | SUCCESS

7 Challenges Successful People Overcome

7 Challenges Successful People Overcome | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/7-Challenges-Successful-People-Must-Overcome.jpg

<p>Your days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. A study from Columbia University found that we’re bogged down by a good <em>70 decisions</em> a day.</p>
<p>Some decisions are minor, such as what to eat, which route to drive to work or in what order to tackle tasks. Others are more difficult, such as deciding between two job offers, whether to move to a new city for someone you love or whether to cut a toxic person out of your life.</p>
<p>With so many decisions taking up each day, learning to prioritize and make them effectively is essential to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-simple-habits-that-set-ultra-successful-people-apart">your success</a> and happiness.</p>
<p>Although there are many strategies successful people use for effective decision-making, what follows are the cream of the crop.</p>
<h2>1. They turn small decisions into routines.</h2>
<p>Decision-making works like a muscle: As you use it over the course of the day, it gets too exhausted to function effectively. One of the best strategies successful people use to work around their decision fatigue is to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/what-i-learned-from-wearing-the-same-outfit-for-2-weeks">eliminate smaller decisions</a> by turning them into routines. Doing so frees up mental resources for more complex decisions.</p>
<p>Steve Jobs famously wore a black turtleneck to work every day. Mark Zuckerberg still dons a hoodie. Both men have stated that these iconic images are the simple result of daily routines intended to cut down on decision fatigue. They were both aware of our finite daily ability to make good decisions, as is Barack Obama, who said, “You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing, because I have too many other decisions to make.”</p>
<h2>2. They make big decisions in the morning.</h2>
<p>Another great way to beat decision fatigue is to save small decisions for after work (when decision fatigue is greatest) and to tackle complex decisions in the morning, when your mind is fresh. When you’re facing a stream of important decisions, a great trick is to wake up early and work on your most complicated tasks before you get hit with a bunch of distracting minor decisions (phones ringing, emails coming in). A similar strategy is to do some of the smaller things the night before to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-evening-habits-that-will-prepare-you-for-a-day-of-success">get a head start on the next day</a>. For instance, lay out your outfit at night so you don’t even have to think about it when you wake up.</p>
<h2>3. They pay attention to their emotions.</h2>
<p>There’s an old saying: “Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions,” and it definitely rings true. Successful people recognize and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-you-need-emotional-intelligence-to-succeed">understand their emotions</a> (including their intensity and impact on behavior) so that they are able to look at decisions as objectively and rationally as possible.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, most people aren’t good at managing or even recognizing their emotions. <a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TalentSmart</a> has tested more than a million people and found that only 36 percent of us are able to accurately identify our emotions as they happen. Strong decision-makers, on the other hand, know that a bad mood can make them lash out or stray from their moral compass just as easily as a good mood can make them overconfident and impulsive.</p>
<h2>4. They evaluate their opinions objectively.</h2>
<p>When really wrapped up in a decision, successful people weigh their options against a predetermined set of criteria because they know <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-tips-to-make-smarter-decisions-faster">this makes decision-making easier</a> and more effective. Here are some helpful criteria to consider:</p>
<ul>
<li><em>How does this decision benefit me?</em></li>
<li><em>How does it hurt me?</em></li>
<li><em>How does this benefit ___?</em></li>
<li><em>How does it hurt ___?</em></li>
<li><em>Would I regret making this decision?</em></li>
<li><em>Would I regret not making this decision?</em></li>
<li><em>Does this decision reflect my values?</em></li>
</ul>
<h2>5. They sleep on decisions.</h2>
<p>Sleeping on your decision ensures you have clarity of thought when you approach it the next day. It also allows time for your emotions to run their course. When you act too quickly, you tend to <em>react</em>, but when you give more focus and time to your decision, you expose important facets of it that you didn’t see before.</p>
<h2>6. They don’t wait too long, though.</h2>
<p>Successful people know the importance of gathering as much information as they can, but at the same time, they make certain not to fall prey to analysis paralysis. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-successful-people-take-control-of-life">Instead of waiting</a> for the stars to align, successful people know that they need to have a timetable to follow in reaching their decision. Once they set that date, they are motivated to do their homework and some soul-searching in order to meet that deadline.</p>
<h2>7. They use exercise to recharge.</h2>
<p>The stress of a major decision naturally produces cortisol, the chemical that triggers the fight-or-flight response. Cortisol clouds your ability to think clearly and rationally. When you find yourself stressing about a decision, try exercising. As little as 30 minutes is all it takes to get a good endorphin-fueled buzz to return to mental clarity. Exercise also helps you get past that fight-or-flight state by putting the cortisol to practical use. Research shows that long-term exercise improves the overall functioning of the brain regions responsible for decision-making.</p>
<h2>8. They always return to their moral compass.</h2>
<p>Successful people know the importance of sticking to their morals when making an important decision. Morals serve as trusted guides when your emotions pull you in a different direction.</p>
<h2>9. They seek outside counsel.</h2>
<p>When approaching a decision, we have a natural tendency to pick an alternative and then gather information to support that decision, instead of gathering information and then choosing a side (this is called <em>confirmation bias</em>). A great way to beat confirmation bias is to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/seeking-advice-the-wisest-way-to-hit-the-next-level-of-success">seek outside opinions and advice</a> from people who bring different perspectives to your situation. Their perspectives help you weigh your options more objectively and spot your subjective or irrational tendencies.</p>
<h2>10. They reflect on previous decisions.</h2>
<p>Mark Twain described the complicated nature of decision-making as follows: “Good decisions come from experience, but experience comes from <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/top-of-mind-6-tips-to-move-on-from-a-bad-decision">making bad decisions</a>.” This isn’t to say that the only way to become a great decision-maker is to make a ton of mistakes; it just means that it’s important to keep past decisions front of mind. Successful people are aware enough of past decisions to use them to their benefit when something similar comes up.</p>
<p>With repercussions that can last days, weeks and even years, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/the-best-decision-i-ever-made">making great decisions</a> is an effort that’s worth every bit of your time and energy.</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="rteindent1"><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-genius-tips-to-be-more-decisive">11 Genius Tips to Be More Decisive</a></strong></p>
</blockquote>


<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was originally published on&nbsp;<a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-successful-people-make-smart-decisions-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=mp-reader-card" target="_blank">LinkedIn Pulse</a>.</em><br><em>Photo by Photo by&nbsp;Hannah Busing/Unsplash.com</em></p>

With repercussions that can last days, weeks and even years, making great decisions is an effort that’s worth every bit of your time and energy.

With repercussions that can last days, weeks and even years, making great decisions is an effort that’s worth every bit of your time and energy. | SUCCESS

10 Ways Successful People Make Smart Decisions

10 Ways Successful People Make Smart Decisions | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/10-Ways-Successful-People-Make-Smart-Decisions-2.jpg

9 Signs You're Successful Even If It Doesn't Feel Like It

<p>If you’re ambitious, you’re bound to feel like a failure from time to time. Lofty goals lead to inevitable moments when you aren’t yet living up to your expectations.</p>



<p>We live in a world that reinforces this feeling. Though most people won’t admit it—other than the guy with the ‘<em>He who dies with the most toys wins’ </em>bumper sticker—in the back of our minds, we equate material possessions with success.</p>



<p>It’s a shame we fall prey to materialistic thinking because we certainly know better. A study by Strayer University found that 90% of Americans <em>believe</em> happiness is a bigger indicator of success than power, possessions or prestige. Digging a little deeper, 67% defined success as “good relationships with friends and family,” and 60% said it is loving what you do for a living. Only 20% stated that monetary wealth determines success.</p>



<p>But saying and doing are two very different things.</p>



<p>When it comes to success, our eyes often lead us astray. It’s hard not to feel like the most successful people are those with the biggest houses, the most expensive cars and the most influential friends. Regardless of what you achieve, there’s always someone with more, and this can make you feel like you’re losing. The problem isn’t your lack of toys; it’s believing that toys indicate true success.</p>



<p>Real success is about who you are and how far you’ve come. If you ever worry that you’re not as successful as you should be, you may be evaluating yourself against the wrong criteria. Sometimes you just need a reminder as to what you’ve really accomplished in life. The success indicators that follow will help you do just that.</p>



<h3>1. You’re no longer the center of the universe. </h3>



<p>We all know “successful” people who act like they’re the center of the universe. It’s their world and the rest of us just live in it… right? That’s not success. True success requires the ability to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/20-ways-to-build-empathy/">feel empathy</a>—to realize that other people’s feelings and dreams are just as important as ours, and we cannot succeed without them.</p>



<h3>2. You stay positive. </h3>



<p>Hope and optimism are essential components of a happy life. If you dwell on the things that go wrong, you become bitter and resentful. When that happens, you fail—no matter what you may have achieved. Real success means always <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-positivity-makes-you-healthy-and-successful/">seeing the bright side</a> and believing you have the power to make even the worst situations better.</p>



<h3>3. You know that failure isn’t forever. </h3>



<p>You’ve learned that the only people who never fail are those who don’t try. When you fail, you don’t automatically assume that <em>you’re </em>a failure. Instead, you embrace each failure as an opportunity to learn something—and then you move on. If you still struggle with this at times, know that you’ll never experience true success until you learn to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-failure-is-good-for-success/">embrace failure</a>. Your mistakes pave the way for your success by revealing when you’re on the wrong path. The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box and see the solution you’ve been missing.</p>



<h3>4. You keep things in perspective. </h3>



<p>Sometimes bad things happen. It’s part of life. For most of us, however, our very worst day would seem like a vacation to somebody who has real problems—like not having enough to eat, or trying to survive a civil war. Locking your keys in the car—or even getting passed over for a promotion—aren’t that bad once you learn to develop perspective. If you’ve mastered the ability to keep your problems in perspective, mark it down as a huge success.</p>



<h3>5. You ask for help when you need it. </h3>



<p>Refusing to ask for help, no matter how much you’re struggling, is a sign of emotional immaturity. Asking for help means that you no longer feel like you have something to prove by being perfect. It shows you aren’t afraid of people discovering your weaknesses and you understand no one succeeds alone.</p>



<h3>6. You realize that life isn’t a zero-sum game. </h3>



<p>It’s not a see-saw, either. Just because somebody else achieves a big success, that doesn’t mean you suffer a loss in equal proportion. You just didn’t win that particular time. One sure sign of success is the ability to celebrate others’ achievements with sincere enthusiasm.</p>



<h3><strong>7. You can tell the </strong>difference <strong>between drama and excitement. </strong></h3>



<p>Remember the days when stable relationships were boring, and you quickly got tired of anyone who treated you as they should? If that kind of “drama” is a thing of the past, congratulations. If you prefer stability and depth to drama, you’re succeeding.</p>



<h3>8. You no longer care what other people think. </h3>



<p>You only worry about what other people think when you still feel like you have something to prove. Conversely, you know you’ve “made it” when you don’t worry about that anymore—when you’re true to yourself and your principles, and are satisfied with your life. You know you’ve made it when you understand that other people’s opinions are just that—opinions. They have no effect on reality. They don’t change who or what you are.</p>



<h3>9. You accept what you can’t change and change what you can. </h3>



<p>There’s a difference between pessimism and practicality. If there’s a hurricane headed your way, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. But once you accept that the hurricane is coming, you can start working to mitigate its effects. If your company downsizes and you get laid off, every moment you spend in denial just delays whatever is waiting over the horizon. You’re able to move on only when you start exploring your options and making plans to change what you can. Taking responsibility for changing the things you don’t like about your life is one of the biggest indicators of success.</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator"/>



<p>There’s no sense in feeling like a failure just because you think you should have a better job, a bigger house or a nicer car. Real success comes from the inside, and it’s completely independent of circumstance.</p>



<p><em>What are some other indicators of true success? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.</em></p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Read next: </em></strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-paradoxical-habits-of-wildly-successful-people/"><strong>8 Paradoxical Habits of Wildly Successful People</strong></a></p></blockquote>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successinsider" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Do you need weekly inspiration, success tips and self-help resources? Click here to sign up to join our weekly newsletter to help you achieve all your goals!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was originally published on </em><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/9-signs-youre-successfuleven-doesnt-feel-like-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>.</em><br><em>Photo by mimagephotography/Shutterstock.com</em></p>

If you ever worry that you’re not as successful as you should be, you may be evaluating yourself against the wrong criteria.

If you ever worry that you’re not as successful as you should be, you may be evaluating yourself against the wrong criteria. | SUCCESS

9 Signs You’re Successful—Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It

9 Signs You’re Successful—Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/9-Signs-Youre-Successful.jpg

Longevity &amp; Performance

Longevity &amp; Performance Archives

Longevity &amp; Performance | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

<em>Mindfulness is a simple, research-proven technique that physically alters your brain. Learn how to use it to become more effective and less stressed in this article by Dr. Travis Bradberry, originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-mindfulness-fixes-your-brain-reduces-stress-boosts-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LinkedIn Pulse</a>.</em>

There’s no shortage of advice out there claiming to make you better, but mindfulness meditation is the rare, research-proven technique that boosts your performance by physically altering your brain.

Researchers from the University of British Columbia recently pooled data from more than 20 studies to understand how practicing mindfulness affects the brain. While the researchers found significant changes in eight brain regions, there are two regions that are of particular importance to you.

In these brain regions, the simple act of practicing mindfulness increased both brain activity and the density of brain tissue:
<ol>
 	<li><em>The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC</em>), which is responsible for self-control. It enables you to resist distractions, to focus, and to avoid impulsivity in order to work efficiently and make great decisions. The ACC is also responsible for flexibility, and people who have problems in this brain area are known to stick to ineffective problem-solving strategies when they should be adjusting their approach.</li>
 	<li><em>The hippocampus,</em>&nbsp;which, among other things, is responsible for resilience in the face of setbacks and challenges. The hippocampus is readily damaged by stress, making it a need area for most people.</li>
</ol>
Mindfulness is a simple, yet effective form of meditation that enables you to gain control of unruly thoughts and behaviors. People who practice mindfulness are more focused, even when they are not meditating. Mindfulness is an excellent technique to reduce stress because it allows you to stop feeling out of control, to stop jumping from one thought to the next and to stop ruminating on negative thoughts. Overall, it’s a great way to make it through your busy day in a calm and productive manner.

Just as doing curls increases muscle density in your biceps, practicing mindfulness increases the density of brain matter where it counts. Mindfulness is perhaps the only technique that can change your brain in this way, which produces a ripple of other positive effects. Thankfully, you can reap the benefits of mindfulness in as little as a few minutes a day.

Gandhi was once with a group of followers who inquired about his schedule. He told them, “I need to set aside at least one hour each day to meditate.” They were vexed by this and told him, “There’s no way you have that much time!” He responded, “Well, if that’s the case, then I need to set aside two hours a day to meditate.”

Like Gandhi, you’ll soon find that mindfulness is one of very few things that are well worth your precious time, and the busier you are, the more important it is to have a clear mind if you want to be productive.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to take place in the mountains of Nepal or a weekend retreat under a vow of silence. The beauty of the technique is that it’s so simple you can do it anywhere and just about any time.

Mindfulness is the simple act of focusing all of your attention on the present. This requires you to observe your thoughts and feelings objectively, without judgment, which helps you to awaken your experience and live in the moment. This way, life doesn’t pass you by.

I realize this might sound a bit abstract and complicated at first, but it isn’t. Here’s how you can do it, even with your busy schedule:
<h2>1. Focus on your breathing.</h2>
Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor and spend a few minutes doing nothing but breathing slowly in and out. Focus all your attention on your breath. Feel the air travel into your mouth, down your windpipe and into your lungs. Then feel your body shift as it pushes the air out of your lungs. When thoughts surface that distract you from your breathing, don’t worry. Just let them pass and shift your attention back to your breathing. After some practice, you should be able to spend a few to several minutes doing nothing but immersing yourself in the act of breathing, at the expense of all the other thoughts.
<h2>2. Go for a walk.</h2>
You can also meditate just by going for a walk. All you need to do is focus on each step. Feel your legs move and your feet hit the ground. Focus solely on the act of walking and the sensations of your surroundings (the cool breeze, the hot sun or the dog barking in the distance). When you feel other thoughts creeping into your mind, focus even harder on the sensation of walking. Focusing on something that’s second nature is refreshing because it alters your frame of mind as you turn off the never-ending stream of thoughts that normally dominate your attention. You can do the same thing when you brush your teeth, comb your hair or eat a meal.
<h2>3. Feel your body.</h2>
You don’t even need to stop doing what you’re doing to practice mindfulness. All you have to do is focus all of your attention on what you’re doing without thinking about why you’re doing it, what you should do next or what you should be doing. Whether it’s the gentle stroke of your fingers on the keyboard or your posture in your chair, you can direct your attention from your thoughts to your bodily sensations at the spur of the moment.
<h2>4. Repeat one positive thing about yourself, over and over.</h2>
One of the main goals of mindfulness is to stop the steam of thoughts that cycle through your mind over and over again each day. Funnily enough, a great way to do this is to choose a short, positive message about yourself and to repeat it over and over with each breath to keep your mind on track. A great phrase of choice is “I am capable.” The simplicity keeps you grounded in the exercise and keeps other thoughts from taking over. The right phrase also builds a little confidence, which never hurts.
<h2>5. Interrupt the stress cycle.</h2>
Any moment when you feel stressed, overwhelmed or stuck on something is the perfect moment to practice mindfulness. Just stop what you’re doing, let the thoughts go for a moment, and practice your favorite mindfulness technique (breathing, walking or focusing on body sensations). Even a few minutes of this can make a huge difference in quieting your mind and reducing stress. You’ll be surprised how reasonable things look once you’ve taken a few moments to clear your head.

Nothing can improve your brain the way mindfulness meditation can. Give it a try, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you.
<blockquote><em><strong>Related:&nbsp;</strong></em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-mindfulness-is-the-ultimate-habit-for-success/">Why Mindfulness Is the Ultimate Habit for Success</a></strong></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by Eli DeFaria&nbsp;on&nbsp;Unsplash</span>

Nothing can improve your brain the way mindfulness meditation can. Give it a try, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you.

Nothing can improve your brain the way mindfulness meditation can. Give it a try, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you. | SUCCESS

5 Ways You Can Use Mindfulness to Fix Your Brain, Reduce Stress and Boost Performance

Boost Performance: 5 Mindfulness Techniques to Reduce Stress

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/5-Ways-You-Can-Use-Mindfulness.jpg

<p><em>In this article, originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/paradoxical-habits-wildly-successful-people-dr-travis-bradberry/">LinkedIn Pulse</a>, Dr. Travis Bradberry shares the counterintuitive habits of some of the world’s most successful people. Try them out and see where they take you.</em></p>



<p>You know what they say about opinions—everybody has one. If you want to see that truth in action, just Google “characteristics of successful people.” Some of the results will undoubtedly point to the famous Marshmallow Studies at Stanford, which demonstrated that the ability to delay gratification is a key component of success.</p>



<p>But that’s far from the only theory:</p>



<div id="om-t4bqcdcagx9jih5kacom-holder"></div>



<ul><li>According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, it all comes down to mindset. She conducted a series of experiments that demonstrated that, while the average person sees their abilities as fixed assets, successful people have, what she calls, a “growth mindset.” In other words, successful people focus on self-improvement and overcoming challenges rather than seeing their mistakes as the products of insurmountable personal flaws.</li><li>In another study conducted by Penn State and Duke, researchers assessed the social skills of 700 kindergartners. Twenty years later, they followed up and discovered a strong correlation between social skills and success. The children with the best social skills were more likely to have earned a college degree and to hold a full-time job, while the kids who struggled with social skills in kindergarten were more likely to get arrested, binge drink and apply for public housing.</li></ul>



<p>And the list goes on and on. So, what is happening here? Why are there so many different theories, complete with the science to back them up, about the traits that contribute to success? I think it’s because most wildly successful people are complex—so complex that many of their defining qualities are paradoxical.</p>



<p>Rather than an “either/or” set of static characteristics, they’re more likely to demonstrate both. This is a key to their success. Here are some examples of what I’m referring to:</p>



<h2 id="h-1-they-re-polite-yet-completely-unafraid-to-rock-the-boat">1. They’re polite, yet completely unafraid to rock the boat.</h2>



<p>Successful people are, what I like to call, “graciously disruptive.” They’re never satisfied with the status quo. They’re the ones who constantly ask, “What if?” and “Why not?” They’re not afraid to challenge conventional wisdom, yet they don’t disrupt things for the sake of being disruptive; they do it to make things better. Still, they’re polite and considerate, and they don’t draw attention to other people’s mistakes just to humiliate them. However, that doesn’t mean they sit back and let people wander off in the wrong direction. They won’t hesitate to speak up when it’s time to change course.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-they-re-deeply-passionate-yet-rational-and-objective-about-their-work">2. They’re deeply passionate, yet rational and objective about their work.</h2>



<p>Successful people are passionate about their work, but they don’t let it skew their thinking. They have the ability to step back and look at their work with a critical eye and to accept their mistakes. If it’s a disaster, they’ll admit it, because they realize that it’s better to try something different than to put out something subpar with their name on it. That sense of detachment also allows them to accept feedback from others without taking it personally.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-they-re-convergent-and-divergent-thinkers">3. They’re convergent and divergent thinkers.</h2>



<p>Convergent thinking is what’s measured by IQ tests: rational thinking that typically results in a single right answer. Divergent thinking, on the other hand, is less precise. It’s about generating ideas and asking questions that have no solid right or wrong answers. Both are important. No matter how high your IQ is, you’re not going to be successful if you can’t think outside of the proverbial box. On the other hand, you need rational thinking skills to correctly judge whether your ideas have merit. That’s why this particular paradox is so important.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-they-re-both-energetic-and-calm">4. They’re both energetic and calm.</h2>



<p>Successful people seem to have limitless energy when it comes to doing the things they’re passionate about, but they aren’t frantic. They can keep that energy under control. They work hard and focus on the task at hand with devoted concentration, but they’re so smooth that they make it look both easy and fun. Some people are so energetic that they’re hyperactive and unfocused and constantly bouncing from one thing to another. Successful people know how to harness their energy so that it works in the service of progress and doesn’t undermine it.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-they-like-to-work-and-play">5. They like to work and play.</h2>



<p>Successful people personify the often-repeated quote, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Because they love what they do, they find brainstorming, problem-solving and grinding out tough projects thought provoking, engaging and deeply satisfying. And although they take their work very seriously, the enjoyment and gratification they derive from it blurs the common demarcation between work and play.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-they-re-ambiverts">6. They’re ambiverts.</h2>



<p>Successful people are comfortable acting in ways that amplify their introversion and extraversion, depending on what the situation calls for. They can sit in the back of a conference room and silently listen to what’s going on, or they can go up on stage, grab a microphone and engage a huge crowd—and they look just as comfortable doing one as they do the other.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-they-re-na-ve-and-smart">7. They’re naïve and smart.</h2>



<p>No one would argue that intelligence isn’t an important part of success, but many successful people also have a childlike lack of awareness (or maybe it’s a lack of respect) for the type of constraints that other people blindly accept. They’re not limited by what other people tell them is possible.</p>



<h2 id="h-8-they-re-both-humble-and-proud">8. They’re both humble and proud.</h2>



<p>Taking pride in your work is absolutely essential for success, but successful people know they wouldn’t be where they are without the people who came before them and those they’ve worked with along the way. They know that they didn’t achieve their success all on their own, and because they’re OK with that, they don’t have anything to prove. That’s why so many incredibly successful people end up coming across as grounded and humble when you meet them in person.</p>



<p>The reason that there are so many different opinions on what traits are necessary for success—and the reason that so many of them contradict each other—is that successful people are complex. They have a wide variety of paradoxical skills that they call upon as needed, like a mechanic with a well-stocked toolbox.</p>



<div id="om-tcvltot0i3lshxjyrgl5-holder"></div>

Most wildly successful people are so complex that many of their defining qualities are paradoxical. This is the key to their success.

Most wildly successful people are so complex that many of their defining qualities are paradoxical. This is the key to their success. | SUCCESS

8 Paradoxical Habits of Wildly Successful People

8 Paradoxical Habits of Wildly Successful People | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/8-Paradoxical-Habits-of-Wildly-Successful-People-1.jpg

<em>Great leadership is a difficult thing to pin down and understand. In this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-makes-leader-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry explains what true leadership is made of.</em>

What makes someone a leader?

It’s such a simple question, and yet it continues to vex some of the best thinkers in business. We’ve written several books on leadership, and yet it’s a rare thing to actually pause to define leadership.
<h3><em>Let’s start with what leadership is not…</em></h3>
<strong>Leadership has nothing to do with seniority or one’s position in the hierarchy of a company.</strong>

Too many talk about a company’s leadership referring to the senior most executives in the organization. They are just that, senior executives. Leadership doesn’t automatically happen when you reach a certain pay grade. Hopefully you find it there, but there are no guarantees.

<strong>Leadership has nothing to do with titles.</strong>

Similar to the point above, just because you have a C-level title doesn’t automatically make you a “leader.” We often stress the fact that you don’t need a title to lead. You can be a leader in your workplace, your neighborhood or your family, all without having a title.

<strong>Leadership has nothing to do with personal attributes.</strong>

Say the word “leader” and most people think of a domineering, take-charge, charismatic individual. People often think of icons from history like General Patton or President Lincoln. But leadership isn’t an adjective. We don’t need to be extroverted or charismatic to practice leadership. And those with charisma don’t automatically lead.

<strong>Leadership isn’t management.</strong>

This is the big one. Leadership and management are not synonymous. You have 15 people in your downline and P&amp;L responsibility? Good for you, hopefully you are a good manager. Good management is <em>needed</em>. Managers need to plan, measure, monitor, coordinate, solve, hire, fire and so many other things. Managers spend most of their time managing <em>things</em>. Leaders lead people.
<h3><em>So, again, what makes a leader?</em></h3>
Let’s see how some of the most respected business thinkers of our time define leadership, and let’s consider what’s wrong with their definitions…

<strong>Peter Drucker: </strong>“The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers.”

Really? This instance of tautology is so simplistic as to be dangerous. A new Army captain is put in the command of 200 soldiers. He never leaves his room or utters a word to the men and women in his unit. Perhaps routine orders are given through a subordinate. By default, his troops have to “follow” orders, but is the captain really a leader? Commander yes, leader no. Drucker is of course a brilliant thinker, but his definition is too simple.

<strong>Warren Bennis: </strong>“Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.”

Every spring you have a vision for a garden, and with lots of work carrots, and tomatoes become a reality. Are you a leader? No, you’re a gardener. Bennis’ definition seems to have forgotten “others.”

<strong>Bill Gates: </strong>“As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.”<strong>
</strong>
This definition includes “others” and empowerment is a good thing. But to what end? We've seen many empowered “others” in life, from rioting hooligans to Google workers who were so misaligned with the rest of the company they found themselves unemployed. Gates’ definition lacks goals and vision.

<strong>John Maxwell: </strong>“Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.”

We like minimalism but this reduction is too much. A robber with a gun has “influence” over his victim. A manager has the power to fire team members, which provides a lot of influence. But does this influence make a robber or a manager a leader? Maxwell’s definition omits the <em>source</em> of influence.
<h3><em>So what is leadership?</em></h3>
<strong>DEFINITION: </strong>Leadership is a process of social influence which maximizes the efforts of others toward the achievement of a greater good.

Notice the key elements of this definition:
<ul>
 	<li>Leadership stems from <em>social influence</em>, not authority or power.</li>
 	<li>Leadership requires others, and that implies they don’t need to be “direct reports.”</li>
 	<li>No mention of personality traits, attributes or even a title; there are many styles, many paths to effective leadership.</li>
 	<li>It includes a<em> greater good</em>, not influence with no intended outcome.</li>
</ul>
Leadership is a mindset in action. So don’t wait for the title. Leadership isn’t something that anyone can give you—you have to earn it and claim it for yourself.
<blockquote><em><strong>Related: </strong></em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/everything-you-need-to-know-to-become-a-great-leader/">Everything You Need to Know to Become a Great Leader</a></strong></blockquote>

What makes someone a leader? Leadership isn’t something that anyone can give you—you have to earn it and claim it for yourself.

Leadership is a mindset in action. It isn’t something that anyone can give you—you have to earn it and claim it for yourself. | SUCCESS

What Makes a Leader?

What Makes a Leader? | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/What-Makes-a-Leader.jpg

Our days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. Most are mundane, but some are so important that they can haunt you for the rest of your life.

A recent study from Columbia University found that we’re bogged down by more than 70 decisions a day. The sheer number of decisions we have to make each day leads to a phenomenon called <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-i-learned-from-wearing-the-same-outfit-for-2-weeks/">decision fatigue</a>, whereby your brain actually tires like a muscle.

A new study from the University of Texas shows that even when our brains aren’t tired, they can make it very difficult for us to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-ways-to-make-better-decisions/">make good decisions</a>. When making a decision, instead of referencing the knowledge we’ve accumulated, our brains focus on specific, detailed memories.

For example, if you’re buying a new car and trying to decide if you should go for the leather seats, even though you know you can’t afford it, your brain might focus on memories of the wonderful smell and feel of the leather seats in your brother’s sports car, when it should be focused on the misery you’re going to experience when making your monthly car payments. Since you don’t have memories of this yet, it’s a hard thing for your brain to contemplate.

&nbsp;
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><em>“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” –Stephen Covey</em></h4>
&nbsp;

Some decisions are minor, such as what to eat, which route to drive to work or in what order to tackle tasks; others are more difficult, such as choosing between two job offers, whether to move to a new city for someone you love or whether to cut a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-toxic-people-you-should-avoid/">toxic person</a> out of your life. Regardless of the magnitude of the decision, our brains make it hard for us to keep the perspective we need to make good choices.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related: </em></strong><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-ways-successful-people-make-smart-decisions/">10 Ways Successful People Make Smart Decisions</a></strong></blockquote>
Bronnie Ware spent her career as a palliative care nurse, working exclusively with people who were three to 12 months from death. She made a habit of asking them about their greatest regrets, and she heard the same five regrets time and time again. By studying these regrets, you can make certain that you make good choices and don’t fall victim to them yourself.
<h2><strong>1. They wish they hadn’t made decisions based on what other people think.</strong></h2>
When you make your decisions based on other people’s opinions, two things tend to happen:
<ul>
 	<li><em>You make a poor career choice:</em>&nbsp;There are too many people out there who studied for a degree they regret or even spent their lives pursuing a career they regret. Whether you’re seeking parental approval or pursuing pay and prestige over <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-make-your-passion-your-profession/">passion</a>, making a poor career choice is a decision that will live with you forever.</li>
 	<li><em>You fail to uphold your morals:</em>&nbsp;When you get too caught up in what your boss thinks of you, how much money you think your spouse needs to be happy or how bad you will look if you fail, you are at high risk of violating your own morals. Your intense desire to make yourself&nbsp;<em>look good</em>&nbsp;compromises your ability to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/15-brave-quotes-to-inspire-you-to-be-yourself/">stay true to yourself</a> and, ultimately, to&nbsp;<em>feel good</em>.</li>
</ul>
The best way to avoid falling prey to the opinions of others is to realize that other people’s opinions are just that—opinions. Regardless of how great or terrible they think you are, that’s only their opinion. Your true <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/your-february-action-plan-10-ways-to-exercise-self-worth/">self-worth</a> comes from within.
<h2><strong>2. They wish they hadn’t worked so hard.&nbsp;</strong></h2>
Working hard is a great way to impact the world, to learn, to grow, to feel accomplished and sometimes even to find happiness, but it becomes a problem when you do so at the expense of the people closest to you. Ironically, we often work hard to make money for the people we care about without realizing that they value our company more than money. The key is to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/john-c-maxwell-4-steps-to-create-balance-in-your-life/">find a balance</a> between doing what you love and being with the people you love. Otherwise, you’ll look back one day and wish you’d focused more on the latter.
<h2><strong>3. They wish they had expressed their feelings.&nbsp;</strong></h2>
We’re taught as children that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-benefits-of-experiencing-a-wider-range-of-emotions/">emotions</a> are dangerous and that they must be bottled up and controlled. This usually works at first, but boxing up your feelings causes them to grow until they erupt. The best thing you can do is to put your feelings directly on the table. Though it’s painful to initiate, it forces you to be honest and transparent.

For example, if you feel as though you don’t make enough money at work, schedule a meeting with your boss and propose why you think you’re worth more. As a result, she will either agree with you and give you a raise or disagree and tell you what you do need to do to become more valuable. On the other hand, if you do nothing and let your feelings fester, this will hinder your performance and prevent you from reaching your goal.
<h2><strong>4. They wish they had stayed in touch with their friends.&nbsp;</strong></h2>
When you get caught up in your weekly routine, it’s easy to lose sight of how important people are to you, especially those you have to make time for. Relationships with old <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-friends-you-need-in-your-inner-circle/">friends</a> are among the first things to fall off the table when we’re busy. This is unfortunate because <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-science-of-friendship/">spending time with friends</a> is a major stress buster. Close friends bring you energy, fresh perspectives and a sense of belonging, in a way that no one else can.
<h2><strong>5. They wish they had let themselves be happy.&nbsp;</strong></h2>
When your life is about to end, all the difficulties you’ve faced suddenly become trivial compared to the good times. This is because you realize that, more often than not, suffering is a choice. Unfortunately, most people realize this far too late. Although we all inevitably experience pain, how we react to our pain is completely under our control, as is our ability to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/11-simple-ways-to-find-joy-in-your-everyday-life/">experience joy</a>. Learning to laugh, smile and be happy (especially when stressed) is a challenge at times, but it’s one that’s worth every ounce of effort.

Some decisions have repercussions that can last a lifetime. Most of these decisions are made daily, and they require focus and perspective to keep them from haunting you.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related: </em></strong><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-ways-to-live-your-life-without-regrets/">5 Ways to Live Your Life Without Regrets</a></strong></blockquote>
<em>This article was originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/five-choices-you-regret-forever-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>.</em>

&nbsp;

Our days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. Most are mundane, but some are so important that they can haunt you for the rest of your life.

Our days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. Most are mundane, but some are so important that they can haunt you for the rest of your life. | SUCCESS

5 Decisions You Will Regret Forever

5 Decisions You Will Regret Forever | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/5DecisionsYouWillRegretForever.jpg

Professional Growth

Professional Growth Archives

Professional Growth | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing people’s buttons.

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-types-of-negative-people-you-should-avoid/">Toxic people</a> create unnecessary complexity, strife and, worst of all, stress.
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><em>“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen</em></h4>
Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious toxic people are. They found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to brain cells, and months of stress can permanently destroy them. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable—they’re really hard on your brain.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. <a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TalentSmart</a> has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90 percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to identify toxic people and keep them at bay.

It’s often said that you’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic, you’ll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related: </em></strong><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-happened-when-i-tried-to-cut-the-negative-people-out-of-my-life/">What Happened When I Tried to Cut the Negative People Out of My Life</a></strong></blockquote>
You can’t hope to distance yourself from toxic people until you first know who they are. The trick is to separate those who are annoying or simply difficult from those who are truly toxic. What follows are 10 types of toxic drainers that you should stay away from at all costs so that you don’t become one yourself.
<h2><strong>1. The Gossip</strong></h2>
<h4 style="text-align: center;"><em>“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt</em></h4>
Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else’s personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time, it gets tiring, makes you feel gross and hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.
<h2><strong>2. The Temperamental</strong></h2>
Some people have absolutely no control over their emotions. They will lash out at you and project their feelings onto you, all the while thinking that you’re the one causing their malaise. Temperamental people are tough to dump from your life because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them. When push comes to shove though, temperamental people will use you as their emotional toilet and should be avoided at all costs.
<h2><strong>3. The Victim</strong></h2>
Victims are tough to identify because you initially empathize with their problems. But as time passes, you begin to realize that their “time of need” is <em>all the time</em>. Victims actively push away any personal responsibility by making every speed bump they encounter into an uncrossable mountain. They don’t see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow from; instead, they see them as an out. There’s an old saying: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” It perfectly captures the toxicity of the victim, who chooses to suffer every time.
<h2><strong>4. The Self-Absorbed</strong></h2>
Self-absorbed people bring you down through the impassionate distance they maintain from other people. You can usually tell when you’re hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone. This happens because as far as they’re concerned, there’s no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else. You’re merely a tool used to build their self-esteem.
<h2><strong>5. The Envious</strong></h2>
To envious people, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Even when something great happens to envious people, they don’t derive any satisfaction from it. This is because they measure their fortune against the world’s, when they should be deriving their satisfaction from within. And let’s face it, there’s <em>always </em>someone out there who’s doing better if you look hard enough. Spending too much time around envious people is dangerous because they teach you to trivialize your own accomplishments.
<h2><strong>6. The Manipulator</strong></h2>
Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the façade of friendship. They can be tricky to deal with because they treat you like a friend. They know what you like, what makes you happy and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they use this information as part of a hidden agenda. Manipulators always want something from you, and if you look back on your relationships with them, it’s all take, take, take with little or no giving. They’ll do anything to win you over just so they can work you over.
<h2><strong>7. The Dementor</strong></h2>
In J. K. Rowling’s <em>Harry Potter</em> series, Dementors are evil creatures that suck people’s souls out of their bodies, leaving them merely as shells of humans. Whenever a Dementor enters the room, it goes dark, people get cold, and they begin to recall their worst memories. Rowling said that she developed the concept for Dementors based on highly negative people—the kind of people who have the ability to walk into a room and instantly suck the life out of it.

Dementors suck the life out of the room by imposing their negativity and pessimism upon everyone they encounter. Their viewpoints are always glass half empty, and they can inject fear and concern into even the most benign situations. A Notre Dame University study found that students assigned to roommates who thought negatively were far more likely to develop negative thinking and even depression themselves.
<h2><strong>8. The Twisted</strong></h2>
There are certain toxic people who have bad intentions, deriving deep satisfaction from the pain and misery of others. They are either out to hurt you, to make you feel bad or to get something from you; otherwise, they have no interest in you. The only good thing about this type is that you can spot their intentions quickly, which makes it that much faster to get them out of your life.
<h2><strong>9. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/gabby-bernstein-breaks-down-the-judgment-cycle/">The Judgmental</a></strong></h2>
Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you’re best off cutting them out and being yourself.
<h2><strong>10. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/cocky-vs-confident-its-a-fine-line/">The Arrogant</a></strong></h2>
Arrogant people are a waste of your time because they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities. A University of Akron study found that arrogance is correlated with a slew of problems in the workplace. Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more disagreeable and have more cognitive problems than the average person.
<h3><strong>How to Protect Yourself Once You Spot ‘Em</strong></h3>
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it—their behavior truly goes against reason, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink if you prefer that analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Most people feel as though because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve identified a toxic person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t.

You can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-guard-your-yes-and-own-your-no/">establish boundaries</a>, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you’re bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to cross them, which they will.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related: </em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-ways-smart-people-influence-themselves/">5 Ways Smart People Influence Themselves</a></strong></blockquote>
<em> </em>

<em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/toxic-people-you-should-avoid-all-costs-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">LinkedIn Pulse</a>.</em>

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy.

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. | SUCCESS

10 Toxic People You Should Avoid

10 Toxic People You Should Avoid | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/ToxicPeopleYouShouldAvoid.jpg

<p class="has-text-align-left">I don’t know anyone who couldn’t use a little boost in their <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/9-easy-ways-to-naturally-increase-your-energy/">energy</a> and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-power-of-self-control/">self-control</a>.</p>



<p>Researchers at the University of Nottingham recently published findings from their exploration of 83 separate studies on energy and self-control. What they found will change the way you start your day.</p>



<p>The researchers found that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-self-control-is-so-important/">self-control</a> and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-ways-to-optimize-your-success-by-optimizing-your-energy/">energy</a> are not only intricately linked but also finite, daily resources that tire much like a muscle. Even though we don’t always realize it, as the day goes on, we have increased difficulty exerting self-control and focusing on our work. As self-control wears out, we feel tired and find tasks to be more difficult and our mood sours.</p>



<div id="om-t4bqcdcagx9jih5kacom-holder"></div>



<p>This exhaustion of self-control kills your productivity, and it makes the morning hours, when self-control is highest, the most important hours of the day.</p>



<p>But the trick isn’t just to spend your morning hours working; it’s to do the right things in the morning that will make your energy and self-control last as long as possible.</p>



<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><em>“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’” And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” –Steve Jobs</em></strong></p>



<p>The Nottingham research has led me to uncover ways we can break bad habits in the morning and maximize our energy and self-control throughout the day.</p>



<p>Whether you naturally wake up feeling alert and productive or wake up with the brainpower of a zombie, these tips will help you transform your morning routine and set a positive tone that lasts the entire day.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><em><strong>Related:</strong>&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-positivity-makes-you-healthy-and-successful/">How Positivity Makes You Healthy and Successful</a></p>
</blockquote>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-start-with-exercise">1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-i-stay-motivated-to-exercise/">Start with exercise.</a></h2>



<p>Researchers at the University of Bristol found that people who exercise during the workday have more energy and a more positive outlook, which are both critical to getting things done. Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes your brain feel soothed and keeps you in control of your impulses. Exercising first thing in the morning ensures that you’ll have the time for it, and it improves your self-control and energy levels all day long.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-but-drink-some-lemon-water-first">2. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/do-you-drink-enough-water/">But drink some lemon water first.</a></h2>



<p>Drinking lemon water as soon as you wake up spikes your energy levels physically and mentally. Lemon water gives you steady, natural energy that lasts the length of the day by improving nutrient absorption in your stomach. You need to drink it first thing in the morning (on an empty stomach) to ensure full absorption. You should also wait 15-30 minutes after drinking it before eating (perfect time to squeeze in some exercise). Lemons are packed with nutrients; they’re chock full of potassium, vitamin C and antioxidants. If you’re under 150 pounds, drink the juice of half a lemon, and a full lemon if you’re over 150 pounds. Don’t drink the juice without water because it’s hard on your teeth.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-no-screen-time-until-breakfast">3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-tips-to-detach-from-your-phone/">No screen time until breakfast.</a></h2>



<p>When you dive straight into emails, texts and Facebook, you lose focus and your morning succumbs to the wants and needs of other people. It’s much healthier to take those precious first moments of the day to do something relaxing that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-ways-successful-people-stay-calm/">sets a calm, positive tone</a> for your day. Jumping right into electronics has the opposite effect—it’s a frantic way to start your day. Exercising, meditating or even watching the birds out the window are all great ways to start the day.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-eat-a-real-breakfast">4. Eat a&nbsp;<em>real&nbsp;</em>breakfast.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Eating anything at all for breakfast puts you ahead of a lot of people. People who eat breakfast are less likely to be obese, they have more stable blood-sugar levels, and they tend to be less hungry over the course of the day. And these are just the statistics for people who eat any breakfast. When you eat a&nbsp;<em>healthy</em>&nbsp;breakfast, the doors to a productive day swing wide open. A healthy breakfast gives you energy, improves your short-term memory, and helps you to concentrate more intensely and for longer periods.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-set-goals-for-the-day">5. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals/">Set goals for the day.</a>&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Research shows that having&nbsp;concrete&nbsp;goals is&nbsp;correlated with huge increases in confidence and feelings of control. Setting goals specific to the day puts everything into motion. Narrow your goals down to a few achievable ones that can easily be broken down into steps. Vague goals such as “I want to finish writing my article” are counterproductive because they fail to include the “how” of things. The same goal rephrased in a more functional way would read something like this: “I am going to finish my article by writing each of the three sections, spending no more than an hour on each section.” Now you have more than simply something you want to achieve—you have a way to achieve it.</p>



<p><em>Getting your morning started off right at home is important, but it’s only half the battle. If you fail to maintain that tone once you set foot in the office, your morning can lose momentum quickly. Here’s how you can maintain a productive tone once you hit the office:</em></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-first-clean-your-workspace">6. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-scientific-reasons-clutter-can-stress-you-out/">First, clean your workspace.</a>&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Even though it’s a pain to clean right when you get into work, it makes a big difference to your ability to concentrate. A Princeton University study found that people who worked in a clean workspace outperformed those who worked in a cluttered one because clutter pulls your attention away from your work. In fact, the effects of clutter on concentration are not all that different from the effects of multitasking.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-7-no-email-until-you-ve-eaten-three-frogs">7. No email until you’ve eaten three frogs.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>“Eating a frog” is the greatest antidote to procrastination, and the most productive people know the importance of biting into this delicacy first thing in the morning. In other words, spend your morning on something that requires a high level of concentration that you don’t want to do, and you’ll get it done in short order. Make a habit of eating three frogs before you check your email because email is a major distraction that enables procrastination and wastes precious mental energy.</p>



<p id="h-eat-a-live-frog-first-thing-in-the-morning-and-nothing-worse-will-happen-to-you-the-rest-of-the-day-mark-twain"><em><strong>“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” –Mark Twain&nbsp;</strong></em></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-8-assign-times-to-your-to-do-list-and-monitor-your-progress-against-your-goals">8. Assign times to your to-do list, and monitor your progress against your goals.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>There’s no point in setting goals in the morning if you don’t check in on them. Look at what you’ve done so far with a critical eye. If you realize you’re behind schedule or doing a shoddy job, it’s important to adjust your goals or your work ethic so that you can move intentionally through your day.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-9-keep-morning-meetings-on-schedule">9. Keep morning meetings on schedule.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Meetings are the biggest time-waster there is, and they can ruin an otherwise productive morning. People who use their mornings effectively know that a meeting will drag on forever if they let it, so they inform everyone at the onset that they’ll stick to the intended schedule. This sets a limit that motivates everyone to be more focused and efficient. Keep your morning meetings on time and your entire day will stay on track.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-10-don-t-multitask">10. Don’t multitask.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>Multitasking in the morning—when you have lots to do, tons of energy, and it feels like you can do two or three things at once—is tempting, but it sets your whole day back. Research conducted at Stanford University confirmed that multitasking is less productive than doing a single thing at a time. The researchers found that people who are regularly bombarded with several streams of electronic information cannot pay attention, recall information or switch from one job to another as well as those who complete one task at a time.</p>



<p>But what if some people have a special gift for multitasking? The Stanford researchers compared groups of people based on their tendency to multitask and their belief that it helps their performance. They found that heavy multitaskers (those who multitask a lot and feel that it boosts their performance) were actually worse at multitasking than those who like to do a single thing at a time. The frequent multitaskers performed worse because they had more trouble organizing their thoughts and filtering out irrelevant information, and they were slower at switching from one task to another. Ouch!</p>



<p>Multitasking reduces your efficiency and performance because your brain can only focus adequately on one thing at a time. When you try to do two things at once, your brain lacks the capacity to perform both tasks successfully.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-11-finally-say-no">11. Finally, say no.&nbsp;</h2>



<p>“No” is a powerful word that will protect your precious mornings. When it’s time to say no, avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them while your mind is fresh. Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout and even depression. Learn to use no and it will lift your mood as well as your productivity.</p>



<p>The right morning routine can make your day, every day. The trick is to be intentional about your mornings, understanding that a.m. hours are precious and should be handled with care.</p>



<p><em>What do you do in the morning to start your day off right?</em></p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><em><strong>Related:&nbsp;</strong></em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-strategies-for-your-most-productive-workday/">5 Strategies for Your Most Productive Workday</a></p>
</blockquote>



<p style="font-size:12px"><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tweak-your-morning-routine-transform-entire-day-dr-travis-bradberry/">LinkedIn Pulse</a>.</em></p>



<div id="om-tcvltot0i3lshxjyrgl5-holder"></div>

This is how you can break bad habits in your morning routine and maximize your energy and self-control throughout the day.

This is how you can break bad habits in the morning and maximize your energy and self-control throughout the day. | SUCCESS

11 Tips to Transform Your Morning Routine and Make Your Entire Day More Productive

Morning Mastery: 11 Tips to Boost Your Daily Productivity

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/TipstoTransformYourMorningRoutine.jpg

No one ever became a great leader without first becoming a great communicator.

<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership/">Great leaders connect with people</a> on an emotional level every time they speak. Their words inspire others to achieve more than they ever thought possible.

Great communicators are intentional about it, and there are 10 secrets they rely on to deliver a powerful message. Put these secrets to work in your communication and watch your influence soar.
<h2><strong>1. They know their audience.</strong></h2>
Great communicators don’t worry about sounding important, showing off their expertise or boosting their own egos. Instead, they think about what people need to hear and how they can deliver this message so that they hear it. This doesn’t mean that leaders tell people what they <em>want</em> to hear. Quite the opposite­—they tell people what’s important for them to know, even if it’s bad news.

<span class="s1"></span>
<h2><strong>2. They are experts in body language.</strong></h2>
Great communicators are constantly tracking people’s reactions to their message. They are quick to pick up on cues like facial expressions and body language because they know this is the only feedback many people will give them. Great communicators use this expertise to tailor their message on the fly and adjust their communication style as needed.
<h2><strong>3. They are honest.</strong></h2>
The best leaders know that for communication to be effective, it has to be real. They can’t have people parsing every word trying to separate fact from spin. When great communicators can’t share certain information, they come right out and say it because makeshift, half-truth answers breed distrust and anxiety. In good times and bad, honesty builds trust.
<h2><strong>4. They are authentic.</strong></h2>
Great communicators don’t try to be someone they’re not just because they’ve stepped behind a podium. Great leaders know that when they <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-secrets-of-being-authentic-and-why-its-important/">stay true to who they are</a>, people gravitate to their message. They also know the opposite happens when leaders put on an act.
<h2><strong>5. They speak with authority.</strong></h2>
Great communicators don’t try to cover their backs by being ambiguous, wishy-washy or unassertive. Instead, they stick their necks out and speak very directly about how things are and how they need to be.
<h2><strong>6. They speak to groups as individuals.</strong></h2>
Leaders rarely have the luxury of speaking to one person at a time. Whether it’s a huddle around a conference table or an overflowing auditorium, great leaders know how to work the room and make every single person feel as if he or she is being spoken to directly.
<h2><strong>7. They have ears (and they use them).</strong></h2>
Great leaders know that communication is a two-way street, and what they hear is often more important than what they say. When someone else is speaking, great communicators aren’t thinking ahead and planning what they’ll say next. Instead, they’re actively listening, fully focused on understanding the other person’s perspective.
<h2><strong>8. They use phrases like, “It’s my fault,” “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry.</strong>”</h2>
When great leaders <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-mistakes-smart-people-never-make-twice/">make a mistake</a>, they admit it right away. They don’t wait for someone else to find and point out their blunder. They model accountability for their words and actions, even when they could have easily “gotten away” with the mistake. And they do it matter-of-factly, without drama or false humility.
<h2><strong>9. They solicit feedback.</strong></h2>
The best communicators never assume that the message people heard is the exact same one they intended to deliver. They check in to verify that their message was understood correctly, and, if it was not, they don’t blame the audience. Instead, they change things up and try again.
<h2><strong>10. They’re proactive.</strong></h2>
Leaders with the best communication skills don’t waste time playing catch-up. They’re quick to head off the rumor mill by sharing bad news in a timely manner. They also give clear, concise goals and directions so people don’t waste their time heading in the wrong direction.

Great communicators stand out from the crowd. They’re honest. They’re authentic. They listen. They excel in communication because they value it, and that’s the critical first step to becoming a great leader.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related: </em></strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-tell-your-story/"><strong>How to Tell Your Story</strong></a></blockquote>
<em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-communication-secrets-great-leaders-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">LinkedIn Pulse</a>. </em>

Great communicators are intentional about it, and there are 10 secrets they rely on to deliver a powerful message. Put these secrets to work in your communication and watch your influence soar.

No one ever became a great leader without first becoming a great communicator. | SUCCESS

10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/CommunicationSecretsofGreatLeaders-1.jpg

<em>Revealing the wrong aspects of yourself at work can have a devastating effect on your career. In this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/12-things-successful-people-never-reveal-work-dr-travis-bradberry/?trk=mp-reader-card" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LinkedIn Pulse</a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry explains how to navigate this difficult landscape.</em>

You can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues, but doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.

Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-nos with hindsight.

The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that line, because once you share something, there is no going back.

<a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TalentSmart</a>&nbsp;has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90 percent of top performers, to be exact). Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this shows them what they should&nbsp;<em>and shouldn’t&nbsp;</em>reveal about themselves at work.
<blockquote>
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-you-need-emotional-intelligence-to-succeed"><strong>Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed </strong></a></p>
</blockquote>
The following list contains the 12 most common things people reveal that send their careers careening in the wrong direction:
<h2><strong>1. That they hate their job.</strong></h2>
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-ways-successful-people-handle-toxic-people">a negative person</a> who is not a team player. This attitude brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.
<h2><strong>2. That they think someone is incompetent.&nbsp; </strong></h2>
There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers’ negative opinions of you.
<h2><strong>3. How much money they make.</strong></h2>
Your parents may love to hear all about how much you’re pulling in each month, but in the workplace, this only breeds negativity. It’s impossible to allocate salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your co-workers a direct measure of comparison. As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income. It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other the same way again.
<h2><strong>4. Their political and religious beliefs. </strong></h2>
People’s political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work. Disagreeing with someone else’s views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.

Granted, different people treat politics and religion differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Even bringing up a hot-button world event without asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.

People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs, and giving them your two cents is risky. Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything on your end, because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict. Political opinions and religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in people that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their mind.
<h2><strong>5. What they do on Facebook.</strong></h2>
The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you’re wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing or even your friends’ commentary. These are the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.

It’s too difficult to try to censor yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble, and don’t friend them there. Let LinkedIn be your professional “social” network, and save Facebook for everybody else.
<h2><strong>6. What they do in the bedroom. </strong></h2>
Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work. Such comments might get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.
<h2><strong>7. What they think someone else does in the bedroom. </strong></h2>
A good 111 percent of the people you work with do not want to know that you bet they’re tigers in the sack. There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain. Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.

Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right about people; just keep it to yourself.
<h2><strong>8. That they’re after somebody else’s job.</strong></h2>
Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with other people’s interests comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and the company as a whole. Great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves. Regardless of your actual motives (some of us really do just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.
<h2><strong>9. How wild they used to be in college.</strong></h2>
Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then. Some behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t know where to draw the line. Many presidents have been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavory past to yourself.
<h2><strong>10. How intoxicated they like to get.</strong></h2>
You might think talking about how inebriated you were over the weekend has no effect on how you’re viewed at work. After all, if you’re a good worker, then you’re a good worker, right? Unfortunately not. Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.
<h2><strong>11. An offensive joke.</strong></h2>
Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible, and they make you look terrible. They also happen to be much less funny than clever jokes. A joke crosses the line anytime you try to gauge its appropriateness based on how close you are with someone. If there is anyone who would be offended by your joke, you are better off not telling it. You never know whom people know or what experiences they’ve had in life that can lead your joke to tread on subjects that they take very seriously.
<h2><strong>12. That they are job hunting. </strong></h2>
When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here.” I was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.

The same thing happens when you tell people that you’re job hunting. Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time. There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise, you will end up riding the bench.

Let me know what you think of this list. Do you disagree with any of these items? Did I miss any? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
<blockquote>
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/say-these-14-things-to-get-yourself-fired"><strong>Say These 14 Things to Get Yourself Fired​</strong></a></p>
</blockquote>

Don’t send your career careening in the wrong direction. Here’s what not to divulge at the office.&nbsp;

Don’t send your career careening in the wrong direction. Here’s what not to divulge at the office.&nbsp; | SUCCESS

12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work

12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/12-Things-Successful-People-Never-Reveal-About-Themselves-at-Work.jpg

<p><em>Emotionally intelligent people embrace mistakes for what they are—great opportunities to learn. In this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/articles/10-Mistakes-Smart-People-Never-Make-Twice-930883004-p-1.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>TalentSmart.com</em></a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry reveals the 10 they never make twice.</em></p>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-forgive-yourself-for-your-mistakes">Everybody makes mistakes</a>—that’s a given—but not everyone learns from them. Some people make the same mistakes over and over again, fail to make any real progress and can’t figure out why.</p>



<p id="h-mistakes-are-always-forgivable-if-one-has-the-courage-to-admit-them-bruce-lee"><strong>“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee</strong></p>



<p>When we make mistakes, it can be hard to admit them because doing so feels like an attack on our self-worth. This tendency poses a huge problem because new research proves something that common sense has told us for a very long time: that fully acknowledging and embracing errors is the only way to avoid repeating them.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-a-mistake">7 Ways to Bounce Back After a Mistake</a></strong></p></blockquote>



<p>Yet, many of us still struggle with this.</p>



<p>Researchers from the Clinical Psychophysiology Lab at Michigan State University found that people fall into one of two camps when it comes to mistakes: those who have a&nbsp;<em>fixed mindset</em>&nbsp;(“Forget this; I’ll never be good at it”) and those who have a&nbsp;<em>growth mindset</em>&nbsp;(“What a wake-up call! Let’s see what I did wrong so I won’t do it again”).</p>



<p>“By paying attention to mistakes, we invest more time and effort to correct them,” says study author Jason Moser. “The result is that you make the mistake work for you.”</p>



<p>Those with a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-mindset-shifts-that-will-improve-your-life">growth mindset</a> land on their feet because they acknowledge their mistakes and use them to get better. Those with a fixed mindset are bound to repeat their mistakes because they try their best to ignore them.</p>



<p>Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors. In other words, they recognize the roots of their mix-ups quickly and never make the same mistake twice.</p>



<p id="h-when-you-repeat-a-mistake-it-is-not-a-mistake-anymore-it-is-a-decision-paulo-coelho"><strong>“When you repeat a mistake, it is not a mistake anymore: it is a decision.” – Paulo Coelho</strong></p>



<p>Some mistakes are so tempting that we all make them at one point or another. Smart people learn from these mistakes and never make them twice.</p>



<h2 id="h-1-believing-in-someone-or-something-that-s-too-good-to-be-true">1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/go-with-your-gut-the-science-of-instinct">Believing in someone or something that’s too good to be true.</a></h2>



<p>Some people are so charismatic and so confident that it can be tempting to follow anything they say. They speak endlessly of how successful their businesses are, how well liked they are, who they know and how many opportunities they can offer you. While it’s, of course, true that some people really are successful and really want to help you, smart people only need to be tricked once before they start to think twice about a deal that sounds too good to be true. The results of naivety and a lack of due diligence can be catastrophic. Smart people ask serious questions before getting involved because they realize that no one, themselves included, are as good as they look.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-doing-the-same-thing-over-and-over-again-and-expecting-a-different-result">2. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-things-successful-people-never-do-again">Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.</a></h2>



<p>Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Despite his popularity and cutting insight, there are a lot of people who seem determined that two plus two will eventually equal five. Smart people, on the other hand, need only experience this frustration once. The fact is simple: If you keep the same approach, you’ll keep getting the same results, no matter how much you hope for the opposite. Smart people know that if they want a different result, they need to change their approach, even when it’s painful to do so.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-failing-to-delay-gratification">3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-self-control-is-so-important">Failing to delay gratification.</a></h2>



<p>We live in a world where books instantly appear on our e-readers, news travels far and wide, and just about anything can show up at our doorsteps in as little as a day. Smart people know that gratification doesn’t come quickly and hard work comes long before the reward. They also know how to use this as motivation through every step of the arduous process that amounts to success because they’ve felt the pain and disappointment that come with selling themselves short.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-operating-without-a-budget">4. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-smart-spending-and-saving-tips">Operating without a budget.</a></h2>



<p>You can’t experience financial freedom until you operate under the constraint of a budget. Sticking to a budget, personally and professionally, forces us to make thoughtful choices about what we want and need. Smart people only have to face that insurmountable pile of bills once before getting their act together, starting with a thorough reckoning as to where their money is going. They realize that once you understand how much you’re spending and what you’re spending it on, the right choices become clear. A morning latte is a lot less tempting when you’re aware of the cost: $1,000 on average per year. Having a budget isn’t only about making sure that you have enough to pay the bills; smart people know that making and sticking to a strict budget means never having to pass up an opportunity because they’ve blown their precious capital on discretionary expenditures. Budgets establish discipline, and discipline is the foundation of quality work.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-losing-sight-of-the-big-picture">5. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-questions-i-ask-myself-when-i-start-losing-focus">Losing sight of the big picture.</a></h2>



<p>It’s so easy to become head-down busy, working so hard on what’s right in front of you that you lose sight of the big picture. But smart people learn how to keep this in check by weighing their daily priorities against a carefully calculated goal. It’s not that they don’t care about small-scale work, they just have the discipline and perspective to adjust their course as necessary. Life is all about the big picture, and when you lose sight of it, everything suffers.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-not-doing-your-homework">6. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/overnight-success-is-a-myth-here-are-4-ways-to-persist">Not doing your homework.</a></h2>



<p>Everybody’s taken a shortcut at some point, whether it was copying a friend’s biology assignment or strolling into an important meeting unprepared. Smart people realize that while they may occasionally get lucky, that approach will hold them back from achieving their full potential. They don’t take chances, and they understand that there’s no substitute for hard work and due diligence. They know that if they don’t do their homework, they’ll never learn anything, and that’s a surefire way to bring your career to a screeching halt.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-trying-to-be-someone-you-re-not">7. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-tips-for-being-authentic">Trying to be someone you’re not.</a></h2>



<p>It’s tempting to try to please people by being whom they want you to be, but no one likes a fake, and trying to be someone you’re not never ends well. Smart people figure that out the first time they get called out for being a phony, forget their lines or drop out of character. Other people never seem to realize that everyone else can see right through their act. They don’t recognize the relationships they’ve damaged, the jobs they’ve lost and the opportunities they’ve missed as a result of trying to be someone they’re not. Smart people, on the other hand, make that connection right away and realize that happiness and success demand authenticity.</p>



<h2 id="h-8-trying-to-please-everyone">8. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-ways-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser">Trying to please everyone.</a></h2>



<p>Almost everyone makes this mistake at some point, but smart people realize quickly that it’s simply impossible to please everybody and trying to please everyone pleases no one. Smart people know that in order to be effective, you have to develop the courage to call the shots and to make the choices that you feel are right (not the choices that everyone will like).</p>



<h2 id="h-9-playing-the-victim">9. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/stop-making-excuses-for-who-and-where-you-are">Playing the victim.</a></h2>



<p>News reports and our social media feeds are filled with stories of people who seem to get ahead by playing the victim. Smart people may try it once, but they realize quickly that it’s a form of manipulation and that any benefits will come to a screeching halt as soon as people see that it’s a game. But there’s a more subtle aspect of this strategy that only truly smart people grasp: To play the victim, you have to give up your power, and you can’t put a price on that.</p>



<h2 id="h-10-trying-to-change-someone">10. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-i-learned-to-let-go">Trying to change someone.</a></h2>



<p>The only way that people change is through the desire and wherewithal to change themselves. Still, it’s tempting to try to change someone who doesn’t want to change, as if your sheer will and desire for them to improve will change them (as it has you). Some even actively choose people with problems, thinking that they can “fix” them. Smart people may make that mistake once, but then they realize that they’ll never be able to change anyone but themselves. Instead, they build their lives around genuine, positive people and work to avoid problematic people that bring them down.</p>



<p>Emotionally intelligent people are successful because they never stop learning. They learn from their mistakes, they learn from their successes and they’re always changing themselves for the better.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><em><strong>Related:</strong></em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-mistakes-successful-people-dont-make-again">7 Mistakes Successful People Don’t Make Again</a></strong></p></blockquote>

Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors.

Everybody makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from them.

10 Mistakes Smart People Never Make Twice

10 Mistakes Smart People Never Make Twice | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/mistakessmartpeoplenevermaketwice.jpg

Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors. | SUCCESS

<p><em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/18-signs-you-have-high-emotional-intelligence">Emotionally intelligent people</a> know certain phrases are off limits in casual conversation because people can take them the wrong way. In this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/phrases-smart-people-never-use-conversation-dr-travis-bradberry/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry shows you which nine phrases to avoid. </em></p>



<p>We’ve all said things that people interpreted much differently than we thought they would. These seemingly benign comments lead to the awful feeling that only comes when you’ve planted your foot firmly in your mouth.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><em><strong>Related: </strong></em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-phrases-to-drop-from-your-vocabulary"><strong>10 Phrases to Drop from Your Vocabulary</strong></a></p></blockquote>



<p>Verbal slip-ups often occur because we say things without knowledge of the subtle implications they carry. Understanding these implications requires social awareness—the ability to pick up on the emotions and experiences of other people.</p>



<p><a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TalentSmart</a> has tested the emotional intelligence (EQ) of more than a million people and discovered that social awareness is a skill that many of us lack. We lack social awareness because we’re so focused on what we’re going to say next—and how what other people are saying affects us—that we completely lose sight of other people. This is a problem because people are complicated. You can’t hope to understand someone until you focus all of your attention in his or her direction.</p>



<p>The beauty of social awareness is that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-tips-to-say-it-better">a few simple adjustments to what you say</a> can vastly improve your relationships. To that end, there are some phrases that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-you-need-emotional-intelligence-to-succeed">emotionally intelligent people</a> are careful to avoid in casual conversation. The following phrases are nine of the worst offenders. Avoid them at all costs.</p>



<h2 id="h-1-you-look-tired">1. “You look tired.”</h2>



<p>Tired people are incredibly unappealing—they have droopy eyes and messy hair, they have trouble concentrating and they’re as grouchy as they come. Telling someone he looks tired implies all of the above and then some.</p>



<p>Instead say, “Is everything OK?” Most people ask if someone is tired because they’re intending to be helpful (they want to know if the other person is OK). Instead of assuming someone’s disposition, just ask. This way, he can open up and share. More important, he will see you as concerned instead of rude.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-wow-you-ve-lost-a-ton-of-weight">2. “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”</h2>



<p>Once again, a well-meaning comment—in this case a compliment—creates the impression that you’re being critical. Telling someone that she has lost a lot of weight suggests that she used to look fat or unattractive.</p>



<p>Instead say, “You look fantastic.” This one is an easy fix. Instead of comparing how she looks now to how she used to look, just compliment her for looking great. It takes the past right out of the picture.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-you-were-too-good-for-her-anyway">3. “You were too good for her anyway.”</h2>



<p>When someone severs ties with a relationship of any type, personal or professional, this comment implies he has bad taste and made a poor choice in the first place.</p>



<p>Instead say, “Her loss!” This provides the same enthusiastic support and optimism without any implied criticism.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-you-always-or-you-never">4. “You always…” or “You never…”</h2>



<p>No one always or never does anything. People don’t see themselves as one-dimensional, so you shouldn’t attempt to define them as such. These phrases make people defensive and closed off to your message, which is a really bad thing because you likely use these phrases when you have something important to discuss.</p>



<p>Instead, simply point out what the other person did that’s a problem for you. Stick to the facts. If the frequency of the behavior is an issue, you can always say, “It seems like you do this often” or “You do this often enough for me to notice.”</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><em><strong>Related: </strong></em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/the-dos-and-donts-of-tough-conversations"><strong>The Do’s and Don’ts of Tough Conversations</strong></a></p></blockquote>



<h2 id="h-5-you-look-great-for-your-age">5. “You look great for your age.”</h2>



<p>Using “for your” as a qualifier always comes across as condescending and rude. No one wants to be smart for an athlete or in good shape relative to other people who are also knocking on death’s door. People simply want to be smart and fit.</p>



<p>Instead say, “You look great.” This one is another easy fix. Genuine compliments don’t need qualifiers.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-as-i-said-before">6. “As I said before…”</h2>



<p>We all forget things from time to time. This phrase makes it sound as if you’re insulted at having to repeat yourself, which is hard on the recipient (someone who is genuinely interested in hearing your perspective). Getting insulted over having to repeat yourself suggests that either you’re insecure or you think you’re better than everyone else (or both!). Few people who use this phrase actually feel this way.</p>



<p>Instead, when you say it again, see what you can do to convey the message in a clearer and more interesting manner. This way they’ll remember what you said.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-good-luck">7. “Good luck.”</h2>



<p>This is a subtle one. It certainly isn’t the end of the world if you wish someone good luck, but you can do better because this phrase implies that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/was-it-luck-or-was-it-you">they need luck to succeed</a>.</p>



<p>Instead say, “I know you have what it takes.” This is better than wishing her luck because suggesting that she has the skills needed to succeed provides a huge boost of confidence. You’ll stand out from everyone else who simply wishes her luck.</p>



<h2 id="h-8-it-s-up-to-you-or-whatever-you-want">8. “It’s up to you” or “Whatever you want.”</h2>



<p>Although you might be indifferent to the question, your opinion is important to the person asking (or else he wouldn’t have asked you in the first place).</p>



<p>Instead say, “I don’t have a strong opinion either way, but a couple things to consider are…” When you offer an opinion (even without choosing a side), it shows that you care about the person asking.</p>



<h2 id="h-9-well-at-least-i-ve-never">9. “Well at least I’ve never...”</h2>



<p>This phrase is an aggressive way to shift attention away from <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-a-mistake">your mistake</a> by pointing out an old, likely irrelevant mistake the other person made (and one you should have forgiven her for by now).</p>



<p>Instead say, “I’m sorry.” Owning up to your mistake is the best way to bring the discussion to a more rational, calm place so that you can work things out. Admitting guilt is an amazing way to prevent escalation.</p>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-annoying-conversation-habits-youre-probably-guilty-of">In everyday conversation</a>, it’s the little things that make all the difference. Try these suggestions out, and you’ll be amazed at the positive response you get.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-things-smart-people-dont-say">11 Things Smart People Don’t Say</a></strong></p></blockquote>

The beauty of social awareness is that a few simple adjustments to what you say can vastly improve your relationships.

The beauty of social awareness is that a few simple adjustments to what you say can vastly improve your relationships. | SUCCESS

9 Phrases Smart People Never Use in Conversation

9 Phrases Smart People Never Use in Conversation | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/phrasessmartpeopleneversay.jpg

Relationships

Relationships Archives

Relationships | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

<p><em>We all want our children to become leaders. </em><em>We want them to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best. Dr. Travis Bradberry shows you how in this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/powerful-ways-mold-children-leaders-dr-travis-bradberry" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>. </em></p>



<p>As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands. We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-stages-for-building-grit-in-your-children">4 Stages for Building Grit in Your Children</a></strong></p></blockquote>



<p>It’s a big responsibility—but when is being a parent not?</p>



<p>The beauty of building children into leaders is that the little things we do every day are the ones that mold them into the people they’ll become. Focus on the eight actions below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.</p>



<h2 id="h-1-model-emotional-intelligence-eq">1. Model emotional intelligence (EQ). </h2>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/18-signs-you-have-high-emotional-intelligence">Emotional intelligence is that “something”</a> in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.</p>



<p>Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions, and how you react and respond to their emotions.</p>



<p>EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions.&nbsp;<a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TalentSmart</a> has tested more than 1 million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58 percent of a leader’s job performance. Likewise, 90 percent of top-performing leaders have high EQs.</p>



<p>Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36 percent of the people we tested are able to identify their emotions accurately as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.</p>



<h2 id="h-2-don-t-obsess-about-achievement">2. Don’t obsess about achievement.</h2>



<p>Parents are sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe this will make their children high achievers. Fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work is done.</p>



<p>Simply put, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-smart-people-surround-themselves-with-smarter-people">the best leaders surround themselves with great people</a> because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-don-t-praise-too-much">3. Don’t praise too much.</h2>



<p>Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently">develop the self-confidence</a> required to become successful leaders. But if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-allow-them-to-experience-risk-and-failure">4. Allow them to experience risk and failure. </h2>



<p>Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/afraid-of-risks-how-to-be-bolder">take risks</a> and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk. A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.</p>



<p>The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in failure, either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That is <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-steps-to-shape-great-character">solid character building</a> for future leaders.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-ways-to-be-a-better-parent">6 Ways to Be a Better Parent</a></strong></p></blockquote>



<h2 id="h-5-say-no">5. Say no.</h2>



<p>Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for important things. Children need to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-to-be-the-patient-person-you-never-thought-you-could-be">develop this patience.</a> They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently toward them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoiled.</p>



<h2 id="h-6-let-children-solve-their-own-problems">6. Let children solve their own problems. </h2>



<p>A certain self-sufficiency comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-things-strong-leaders-do">Leaders take action.</a> They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.</p>



<h2 id="h-7-walk-your-talk">7. Walk your talk.</h2>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/the-5-pillars-of-authentic-leadership">Authentic leaders</a> are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.</p>



<h2 id="h-8-show-your-humanity">8. Show your humanity. </h2>



<p>No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.</p>



<p>To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them and move forward to be better people. Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-being-vulnerable-can-make-you-happier">a real, vulnerable person</a>—to teach them how to process mistakes and learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.</p>



<p>We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-make-sure-your-children-become-more-successful-than-you"><strong>How to Make Sure Your Children Become More Successful Than You</strong></a></p></blockquote>



<p></p>

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this. | SUCCESS

8 Powerful Ways to Mold Your Children Into Leaders

8 Powerful Ways to Mold Your Children Into Leaders | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/powerfulwaystomoldyourchildrenintoleaders.png

simplehabitsthatsetultrasuccessfulpeopleapart

<div class="content-article">

<em>Success comes down to <a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/about/emotional-intelligence.php" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">emotional intelligence</a> more than anything else. In this article, originally published on </em><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/habits-set-ultra-successful-people-apart-dr-travis-bradberry" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>LinkedIn Pulse</em></a><em>, Dr. Travis Bradberry shows how ultra-successful people use this skill to achieve their dreams.</em>

A study at Strayer University found that most people think success is about achieving your personal goals.

Ultra-successful people delight themselves by blowing their personal goals out of the water. They succeed along many different dimensions of life: their friendships, their physical and mental health, their families, and their jobs (which they are not only good at, but also enjoy).

<a href="https://www.talentsmart.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TalentSmart</a> has conducted research with more than a million people and found that ultra-successful people have a lot in common. In particular, 90 percent of them are skilled at managing their emotions in order to stay focused, calm and productive.

<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/18-signs-you-have-high-emotional-intelligence">These ultra-successful folks have high emotional intelligence</a> (EQ), a critical quality to achieving your dreams.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-qualities-you-need-to-reach-your-biggest-goals">5 Qualities You Need to Reach Your Biggest Goals</a></strong></p>
Although I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that ultra-successful people employ to reach their goals, what follows are 12 of the best. Some of these might seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so.
<h2><strong>1. They’re composed.</strong></h2>
Ultra-successful people are composed because they constantly monitor their emotions; they understand them, and they use this knowledge in the moment to react to challenging situations with self-control. When things go downhill, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/10-ways-successful-people-stay-calm">they are persistently calm</a> and frustratingly content (frustrating to those who aren’t, at least). They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with time. All they can do is adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.
<h2><strong>2. They’re knowledgeable</strong>.</h2>
Super-successful people know more than others do because they’re constantly working to increase their self-awareness. They vow constant growth. Whenever they have a spare moment, they fill it with self-education. They don’t do this because it’s “the right thing to do”; they do it because it’s their passion. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/top-of-mind-why-you-should-always-keep-improving">They’re always looking for opportunities to improve</a> and new things to learn about themselves and the world around them. Instead of succumbing to their fear of looking stupid, truly exceptional people just ask the questions on their mind, because they would rather learn something new than appear smart.
<h2><strong>3. They’re deliberate.</strong></h2>
Ultra-successful people reach decisions by thinking things out, seeking advice from others and sleeping on it. They know that (as studies show) impulsively relying too much on gut instinct is ineffective and misleading. Being able to slow down and logically think things through makes all the difference.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-qualities-of-wildly-successful-people">6 Qualities of Wildly Successful People</a></strong></p>

<h2><strong>4. They speak with certainty. </strong></h2>
It’s rare to hear super-successful people utter things, such as “um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I think.” <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/6-tips-to-be-a-more-confident-speaker">Successful people speak assertively</a> because they know it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.
<h2><strong>5. They use positive body language.</strong></h2>
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) draws people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact and leaning toward the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that super-successful people use to draw others in. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/practice-confident-body-language-with-power-posing">Positive body language makes all the difference</a> in a conversation because <em>how</em> you say something can be more important than <em>what</em> you say.
<h2><strong>6. They leave a strong first impression.</strong></h2>
Research shows that most people decide whether they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. Then they spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This might sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in how people respond to you. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-best-practices-for-making-a-good-impression">First impressions</a> are tied intimately to positive body language. A strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile and open shoulders help ensure your first impression is a good one.
<h2><strong>7. They seek out small victories.</strong></h2>
Successful people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield only small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases the confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you achieve a series of small victories, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently">the boost in your confidence</a> can last for months.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-secrets-of-insanely-successful-people">4 Secrets of Insanely Successful People</a></strong></p>

<h2><strong>8. They’re fearless.</strong></h2>
Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion fueled by your imagination. <em>Danger </em>is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Exceptional people know this better than anyone, so they flip fear on its head. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-you-should-look-your-fears-in-the-eye-and-smile">Instead of letting fear take over</a>, successful people are addicted to the euphoric feeling of conquering fears.
<h2><strong>9. They’re graceful.</strong></h2>
Graceful people are the perfect combination of strong and gentle. They don’t resort to intimidation, anger or manipulation to get a point across because their gentle, self-assured nature gets the job done. The word <em>gentle</em> often carries a negative connotation (especially in the workplace), but in reality, it’s the gentleness of being graceful that gives ultra-successful people their power. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/john-addison-7-ways-to-be-likeable">They’re approachable, likeable and easy to get along with</a>—all qualities that make people highly amenable to their ideas.
<h2><strong>10. They’re honest.</strong></h2>
Super-successful people trust that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-integrity">honesty and integrity, though painful at times, always work out for the best in the long run</a>. They know that honesty enables genuine connections with people in a way that dishonesty can’t, and that lying always comes back to bite you in the end. In fact, a Notre Dame study showed that people who often lied experienced more mental health problems than their more honest counterparts.
<h2><strong>11. They’re grateful.</strong></h2>
Ultra-successful people know <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-how-to-access-the-power-of-ambition">it takes a lot of ambition</a>, passion and hard work to get where they are in life. They also know their mentors, colleagues, families and friends all play a huge role in their success. Instead of basking in the glory of achievement, super-successful people recognize others for the wonderful things they’ve done for them.
<h2><strong>12. They’re appreciative.</strong></h2>
Truly exceptional people are able to achieve so much because <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-simple-ways-to-slow-down-in-life">they know the importance of slowing down</a> and appreciating everything they already have. They know a huge amount of their positivity, grit and motivation comes from their ability to stay grounded, and appreciate the opportunities that life has given them thus far.

These habits can make any of us more successful if we use them every day. Give them a try and see where they take you.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/9-things-successful-people-wont-do"><strong>9 Things Successful People Won't Do</strong></a></p>

</div>

How many of these things are you doing? | SUCCESS

12 Simple Habits That Set Ultra-Successful People Apart

12 Simple Habits That Set Ultra-Successful People Apart | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/simplehabitsthatsetultrasuccessfulpeopleapart.jpg

<em><a href="https://www.talentsmart.com/about/emotional-intelligence.php" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Emotionally intelligent</a> people know that certain phrases carry special power—they make you look bad even when the words are true. In this article, originally published on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/things-smart-people-wont-say-dr-travis-bradberry" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LinkedIn Pulse</a>, Dr. Travis Bradberry shows you which 11 phrases to avoid.</em>

There are some things you simply never want to say at work.

These phrases carry special power: They have an uncanny ability to make you look bad even when the words are true.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-phrases-to-drop-from-your-vocabulary"><strong>10 Phrases to Drop from Your Vocabulary</strong></a></p>
Worst of all, there’s no taking them back once they slip out.

I’m not talking about shocking slips of the tongue, off-color jokes or politically incorrect faux pas. These aren’t the only ways to make yourself look bad.

Often it’s the subtle remarks—the ones that paint us as incompetent and unconfident—that do the most damage.

No matter how talented you are or what you’ve accomplished, there are certain phrases that instantly change the way people see you and can forever cast you in a negative light. These phrases are so loaded with negative implications that they can undermine careers in short order.

How many of these career killers have you heard around the office lately?
<h2><strong>1. “It’s not fair.”</strong></h2>
Everyone knows that life isn’t fair. Saying <em>it’s not fair </em>suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naive.

If you don’t want to make yourself look bad, you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive and leave your interpretation out of it. For instance, you could say, “I noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping for. Would you mind telling me what went into that decision? I’d like to know why you thought I wasn’t a good fit, so I can work on improving those skills.”
<h2><strong>2. “This is the way it’s always been done.”</strong></h2>
Technology-fueled change is happening so fast that even a 6-month-old process could be outdated. Saying <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-do-you-do-what-you-do"><em>this is the way it’s always been done</em></a> not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you haven’t tried to improve things on your own. If you really are doing things the way they’ve always been done, there’s almost certainly a better way.
<h2><strong>3. “No problem.”</strong></h2>
When someone asks you to do something or thanks you for doing something, and you tell them <em>no problem, </em>you’re implying that their request should have been a problem. This makes people feel as though they’ve imposed upon you.

Instead, show people you’re happy to do your job. Say something like “It was my pleasure” or “I’ll be happy to take care of that.” It’s a subtle difference in language, but one that has a huge impact on people.
<h2><strong>4. “I think/This might be a silly idea/I’m going to ask a stupid question.”</strong></h2>
These overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest you lack confidence, which makes the people you’re speaking to lose confidence in you.

Don’t be your own worst critic. If you’re not confident in what you’re saying, no one else will be either. And if you really don’t know something, say, “I don’t have that information right now, but I’ll find out and get back to you.”
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-tips-to-say-it-better"><strong>9 Tips to Say It Better</strong></a></p>

<h2><strong>5. “This will only take a minute.”</strong></h2>
Saying something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks. Unless you’re literally going to complete the task in 60 seconds, feel free to say that it won’t take long, but don’t make it sound as if the task can be completed any sooner than it can actually be finished.
<h2><strong>6. “I’ll try.”</strong></h2>
Just like the word <em>think, try</em> sounds tentative and suggests you lack confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities. If you’re asked to do something, either commit to doing it or offer an alternative, but don’t say that you’ll try because it sounds like you won’t try all that hard.
<h2><strong>7. “He’s lazy/incompetent/a jerk.”</strong></h2>
There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there’s no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you’re the one who ends up looking like a jerk.

There will always be rude or incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers’ negative opinions of you.
<h2><strong>8. “That’s not in my job description.”</strong></h2>
This often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though you’re only willing to do the bare minimum required to get a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you want job security.

If your boss asks you to do something that you feel is inappropriate for your position (as opposed to morally or ethically inappropriate), the best move is to complete the task eagerly. Later, schedule a conversation with your boss to discuss your role in the company and whether your job description needs an update. This ensures that you avoid looking petty. It also enables you and your boss to develop a long-term understanding of what you should and shouldn’t be doing.
<h2><strong>9. “It’s not my fault.”</strong></h2>
It’s never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role—no matter how small—in whatever went wrong, own it. If not, offer an objective, dispassionate explanation of what happened. Stick to the facts, and let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about who’s to blame.

The moment you start pointing fingers is the moment people start seeing you as someone who lacks accountability for their actions. This makes people nervous. Some will avoid working with you altogether, and others will strike first and blame you when something goes wrong.
<h2><strong>10. “I can’t.”</strong></h2>
<em>I can’t </em>is<em> it’s not my fault’s </em>twisted sister. People don’t like to hear <em>I can’t </em>because they think it means <em>I won’t. </em>Saying <em>I can’t </em>suggests you’re not willing to do what it takes to get the job done.

If you really can’t do something because you truly lack the necessary skills, you need to offer an alternative solution. Instead of saying what you <em>can’t</em> do, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-the-power-of-i-can-changes-you">say what you <em>can</em> do</a>. For example, instead of saying “I can’t stay late tonight,” say “I can come in early tomorrow morning. Will that work?” Instead of “I can’t run those numbers,” say “I don’t yet know how to run that type of analysis. Is there someone who can show me so that I can do it on my own next time?”
<h2><strong>11. “I hate this job.”</strong></h2>
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. It labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know there are enthusiastic replacements waiting around the corner.

Eliminating these phrases from your vocabulary pays dividends. They have a tendency to sneak up on you, so you’re going to have to catch yourself until you’ve solidified the habit of <em>not </em>saying them.

<em>What other phrases should be on this list? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.</em>
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/20-misused-words-that-make-smart-people-look-dumb"><strong>20 Misused Words That Make Smart People Look Dumb</strong></a></p>

Drop these phrases from your vocabulary right now.

Drop these phrases from your vocabulary right now. | SUCCESS

11 Things Smart People Don’t Say

11 Things Smart People Don’t Say | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/thingssmartpeopledontsay.jpg