The Founder of Fangirl Sports Network on Feminist Allyship and Dealing with Internet Trolls

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If you’re a woman whose opinions about blitzing versus pass coverage are as strong as your halftime snack game, you’re officially a football fangirl.



Tracy Sandler reclaimed the once-dismissive term when she founded <a href="https://fgsn.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Fangirl Sports Network </a>specifically for female sports fans. The network blends traditional sports reporting with lifestyle articles.&nbsp;



A longtime San Francisco 49ers supporter, Sandler is an officially accredited beat writer covering the team. She travels to the games and — in non-COVID times — to the locker room. In addition to her writing, Sandler hosts the podcasts <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-my-job/id1478754353" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Get My Job</a> and <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-tracy-sandler-show/id1595144125" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Tracy Sandler Show</a>, highlighting women in sports.



“We've made tremendous strides in the sports industry for women… but I didn't feel like there was content that spoke to women, and let women be fans how they wanted to be,” Sandler says. “There was a lot of gear that was only pink. I happen to love pink… but not every woman does.”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/women-in-sports-with-tracy-sandler/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Women in Sports with Tracy Sandler"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Sandler tells SUCCESS’ Madison Pieper about standing her ground when men challenge her expertise, the role of male allies in <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/true-gender-equality-is-still-151-years-away-despite-recent-milestones/">standing up to misogyny</a> in sports, and not taking trolls personally (or trying not to.)



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-know-your-worth">Know your worth.</h2>



It’s tough being a woman in a male-dominated field—or on one, as is the case in football. Although Sandler says that 90% of the men she’s met in her career have been supportive and welcoming, the other 10% think they have the right to challenge her expertise purely because she’s a woman.



“You say, ‘I'm a Bears fan,’ [and he responds,] ‘Oh, really? Then name the starting offensive line for the 1987 Chicago Bears,’” Sandler says. “No one says that to a man. And by the way, no one knows the answer.”



This hostility sometimes manifests more subtly. A man will ask Sandler a question, seemingly interested in her response, only to disagree with everything she says. “[He] asked what I think is going to happen, but [he] just want[s] to argue with me,” Sandler says.



These tactics can be intimidating when you’re first starting out. But it’s your name on the press pass, the ID card or the corner office. You don’t have to prove yourself with a pop quiz, or engage with someone who isn’t listening, just because you’re a woman and he’s a man. Keep doing your job to the best of your ability, and know that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-art-of-true-confidence/">you deserve to be where you are</a>.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-be-a-feminist-ally-whatever-your-gender">Be a feminist ally, whatever your gender.</h2>



Although there’s still room for improvement, women are more represented in sports journalism now than ever before. Sandler credits groundbreaking female sportscasters like Erin Andrews, Pam Oliver and Lisa Salters for proving that a woman’s place is on the sideline, in the press box and in the locker room.



“Those women paved the way, so to know that maybe I have a small part in doing that for someone else, and for young girls who love sports… really means a lot,” Sandler says.



In addition to pushing for more representation, more female sports journalists are blowing the whistle on forms of sexual harassment and online trolling that their male colleagues don’t face. But the burden shouldn’t only be on women to call out these issues.



“Men need to be our allies too,” Sandler says. “Men in these positions need to say, ‘This is not OK: I as a man will not stand for this. I will not allow my colleagues and women in this industry to be talked to that way.’” <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-road-map-to-great-teamwork/">Teamwork matters</a> off the field, as well as on it.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-follow-your-gut-instincts-when-dealing-with-trolls">Follow your gut instincts when dealing with trolls.</h2>



One thing female public figures tend to deal with more than their male colleagues is online harassment.



That’s not to say that men don’t also deal with trolls. Sports, in particular, evoke strong emotions that unfortunately often manifest as rude and aggressive comments. But women tend to be on the receiving end of more intense abuse, often sexualized and misogynist.



Different people manage trolls differently. What’s important to know is that you are well within your right to use the mute, block and report buttons to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-improve-your-mental-health/">protect your mental health</a>.&nbsp;



“Use your gut instincts: If someone on social media is bullying you, and saying things that are hurtful, report it, because chances are they're not just doing it to you,” Sandler says. Choosing not to read the comments at all is also a perfectly valid choice.



Sandler’s approach to online abuse is to not take it personally. At least, she tries.&nbsp;



“If I do find myself reading the comments, or if someone says something that I find upsetting, I'm like, ‘You know what? This isn't about me,’” she says. “Because it's really not. It feels personal, but it's not. They don't know me.”&nbsp;



Just like a quarterback on third down and long, or a kicker at the 45-yard line, you have to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-create-the-perfect-conditions-for-deep-focus/">shut out the noise</a> and let your work speak for you.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

'We've made tremendous strides in the sports industry for women… but I didn't feel like there was content that spoke to women, and let women be fans how they wanted to be,'

'We've made tremendous strides in the sports industry for women… but I didn't feel like there was content that spoke to women, and let women be fans how they wanted to be,' | SUCCESS

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Fangirl Sports Network Founder: Allyship and Internet Trolls

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Natasha Lavender

Future of Work

Future of Work Archives

Future of Work | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Influencers are internet ballerinas. They have to impress audiences with a beautiful performance, without revealing the years of hard work and choreography it took to get there.



That’s why becoming an influencer isn’t as easy as people think. And it’s why aspiring influencers seek out guidance from <a href="https://christinagalbato.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Christina Galbato</a>, who teaches people (especially women) how to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-build-a-personal-brand-that-breaks-through-the-digital-noise/">build their online brands</a>.



Galbato’s own influencer career took off by mistake. The travel blog she was writing on the side of her corporate gig started attracting readers, and she found herself receiving invites to press trips and brand partnerships. She also started <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/creating-your-online-course/">selling courses</a> on building online audiences.&nbsp;



It’s not just influencers who can benefit from her insights: A personal touch can help every brand connect with its audience. “No matter your business, you have to weave in that personal branding with selling,” Galbato says.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/mixing-social-media-and-sobriety-with-christina-ga/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Mixing Social Media and Sobriety with Christina Galbato"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Galbato tells SUCCESS’ Madison Pieper how to build a basic content strategy, why understanding the unique angle only you can bring to a niche is essential, and what happened when she dropped her glossy image to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-ways-being-vulnerable-can-make-you-happier/">be vulnerable</a> with her followers.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-curate-your-content">Curate your content.</h2>



Contrary to popular belief, top influencers don’t just publish whatever they feel like in the moment. They carefully plan every post, creating an experience that is consistent and relevant to their brand.&nbsp;



“You want to make sure that every single piece of content you put out there is purposeful,” Galbato says. “It adds value in some way—it teaches people something—or it’s storytelling that connects with your audience… building that connection with them.”



Creating a constant flow of compelling content helps build loyalty: An audience that knows what to expect and when is more likely to keep coming back.



Here are the first steps in putting together your influencer strategy:



Identify your niche within your niche. You’ve chosen the area you want to build influence in, for example travel, business or food. Now identify your unique angle.&nbsp;



Ask yourself, What perspective do I bring to this niche that no one else can? Do you have startup experience that influences the way you think about business? Do you only make food using kitchen staples?&nbsp;



Once you understand your angle, make sure all the content you create ties into it. That’s how you build a distinctive brand in a competitive space.



Divide your content into pillars. Identify three to five types of content you want to create: Galbato calls these pillars. For example, a travel blogger might focus on destination tips, hotel reviews and airport hacks. Everything you create needs to fit under one of these pillars.&nbsp;



Galbato recommends assigning each pillar to a different day of the week. For example, every Wednesday you publish a video or blog post that fits into the destination tips pillar.&nbsp;



This makes it easier to achieve that consistency that’s so important for <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-connect-with-a-large-audience-without-sacrificing-authenticity/">building a loyal and engaged audience</a>. “When people come to your page, they see very clearly what your page is about,” Galbato says.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-connect-with-your-audience-across-three-types-of-platforms">Connect with your audience across three types of platforms.</h2>



There’s a myth that to be a top influencer, you have to be active on every single platform. In reality, this just uses up time and energy you could put towards making monetizable content. It also spreads you so thin that you can’t get the most out of those engagement opportunities.



Instead, Galbato recommends building a presence on three types of platform:



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-evergreen">Evergreen</h3>



Content that will be just as helpful to your audience in five years as it is when you posted it, hosted on a platform designed for longevity and searching. For example, blog posts, podcasts and even YouTube videos. Make sure the subject matter you cover on this platform is evergreen too. For example, instead of “The Most Popular Places to Get Engaged in 2022,” go for something like “The Most Popular Proposal Spots in the World.”



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-email-list">Email list</h3>



Influencers are often ranked in terms of their social media follower counts—but Galbato says that your <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-solopreneurs-guide-to-email-marketing/">email newsletter</a> is the most powerful platform to communicate with followers. “You're able to get direct access to your audience: It's not dependent on an algorithm,” she says.&nbsp;



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-social-media">Social media</h3>



<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-tips-for-rapid-social-media-growth-in-2022/">Social media</a> is most effective for building close relationships with your audience in real time, which makes them want to follow your brand and consume your content. You don’t have to master every platform: Choose the one you’re most comfortable with. For example, Galbato has a lot of success with Instagram Reels, but isn’t on TikTok because she didn’t click with the platform.



Three is the magic number: Not so many that you don’t have capacity to do your best work, but without betting everything on one platform that may not work out. (Exhibit A: the 2021 Facebook outage.)



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-people-connect-with-vulnerability">People connect with vulnerability.</h2>



For many years, being an influencer meant only sharing the most fun and aspirational parts of your life. The assumption was that people came to blogs and social media to look at pictures of beautiful beaches and perfectly baked macarons: any hint of personal struggle would result in a mass “unfollow.”



Galbato wrestled with this. Although her Instagram was filled with pictures taken on press trips to incredible destinations, behind the images, she was worried that her alcohol consumption had gotten out of control.



Galbato decided to completely cut out alcohol in April 2021. Five months later, she opened up about her experience and her <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/my-true-story-of-alcoholism-addiction-and-the-choice-to-live/">sobriety journey</a> to her followers. Far from triggering a backlash, she found that it made people feel more connected to her.



“I got thousands of messages from people that could relate, but who also couldn't relate and were just like, ‘This is so cool, thank you so much for sharing, no one talks about this,’” Galbato says. “It was the most rewarding experience of my life.”



Being an influencer requires you to be strategic about your content, but also genuine. Being vulnerable reminds your followers that there’s a real person behind those posts—and that only makes them want to know you more.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Becoming an influencer isn’t as easy as people think. And it’s why aspiring influencers seek out guidance from Christina Galbato, who teaches people (especially women) how to build their online brands.

Becoming an influencer isn’t as easy as people think. And it’s why aspiring influencers seek out guidance from Christina Galbato, who teaches people (especially women) how to build their online brands. | SUCCESS

Behind the Follower Counts: What You Really Need to Know to Become an Influencer

Unveiling Influencer Success: The Truth Behind Follower Counts

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Venus Williams on What Tennis Taught Her About Life, Power and Business

Success

Success Archives

Success | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

The lessons you learn playing sports can translate into many other areas of life—especially business.&nbsp;



Venus Williams knows more about playing tennis than most people on Earth. She’s <a href="https://www.imgacademy.com/people/venus-williams" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">won 23 Grand Slams</a>, including seven singles tournaments, and four Olympic gold medals. And she applies the skills she honed over more than two decades on the court to her business interests.&nbsp;



In 2007, Williams founded athletic fashion line <a href="https://elevenbyvenuswilliams.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">EleVen</a>. She’s also on the board of <a href="https://humanco.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">HumanCo</a>, which invests in brands that promote sustainability and healthier living. And in 2009, she became a minority owner of the Miami Dolphins.



“You learn everything in sports, without even knowing that you're learning,” Williams says. “I've learned how to win, how to lose, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals/">how to set new goals</a>, how to deal with [myself], how to deal with others—all of that stuff. It's so funny: I picked up this book once, by a renowned business school, about how to be resilient. I was like, ‘Oh, I learned that [playing tennis]!’”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/lessons-from-a-champion-with-venus-williams/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Lessons from a Champion with Venus Williams"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Williams tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about not getting distracted by other people’s expectations, being vigilant about her mental health and why being honest is easier in the long run.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-make-your-goals-about-you">Make your goals about you.</h2>



Paying too much attention to other people’s <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-you-need-clarity-to-achieve-your-goals/">expectations can cloud your vision</a>. When you focus on what everyone else thinks you should do, it’s hard to know whether the goals you’re working on are what you want or what you think you should want.



Having spent her life in the public eye, Williams has felt this pressure on a much larger scale. She has the media, fans and self-proclaimed tennis experts all chipping in with opinions on her career and even her personal life.



Despite this deluge of attention, Williams says she’s always played tennis for herself.



“My parents taught us early on that you have to do this for yourself: you're not doing it for anyone else,” she says. She regularly takes <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-introspection-is-so-important-for-a-balanced-life/">introspective time</a> to make sure that she’s centering her own voice.



“I found myself this year checking in with myself and realizing, ‘Oh my gosh: I've started to care about what other people might think of my results, or whatever it is,’” Williams says. “And going back to that freeness of really letting it be about you, and not everyone else.”



People will have opinions, whether it’s about your work or your personal life. That’s true even if you aren’t a world-famous athlete: It could be your family, friends or colleagues who are pressuring you to take a certain path that you aren’t sure about. Only you get to make the final decision.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-look-after-your-mental-health-before-it-s-urgent">Look after your mental health before it’s urgent.</h2>



Proactively <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-improve-your-mental-health/">caring for your mental health</a> needs to be an ongoing process that you build on and maintain, even when you feel good. Don’t wait until you’re in a crisis before adding tools to your toolbox.



This is true for everyone, but especially for people who push themselves to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-turn-any-challenge-into-a-life-changing-opportunity/">take on difficult challenges</a>. That includes entrepreneurs and other leaders, as well as professional athletes, especially in solo sports.&nbsp;



It can be lonely being the person in charge. Shouldering responsibility for your own success or failure frees you up from meeting other people’s expectations, but it also comes with a lot of stress.&nbsp;



You need to be able to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/11-strategies-for-managing-stress/">manage stress</a> continuously. “I find—especially in those moments where you're by yourself—that you need to do that work in advance,” Williams says. “It's not, ‘OK, now I've had a breakdown I'm going to do it:’ You're actually doing that work every week, so you can hopefully stay in that good place.”



Just like athletes train for competitions, consistently working on techniques that improve your mental health will ensure you’re better prepared when you really need help.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-be-afraid-to-be-honest">Don’t be afraid to be honest.</h2>



When you have a need or a desire, speak up about it honestly. Partly because that’s often the only way to make other people aware of it. But also because pretending otherwise is exhausting and creates more problems later.



“When you don't want to do something but you avoid it, or you say, ‘Yeah, I'm going to do it,’ but you’re just going to tell him later that you're not going to do it—this is all so convoluted,” Williams says. “Just say, ‘I can't.’ Be honest and set those expectations: it's so freeing.”



Yes, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-dos-and-donts-of-tough-conversations/">honest conversations can be difficult</a>. But avoiding the truth only creates more issues, and ensures you definitely won’t get what you want without hurting some feelings.



Taking responsibility for your life and your choices means claiming power. It also means you’re the one who has to make difficult decisions, and stand firm. Give yourself the tools you’ll need, trust in your own abilities and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-powerful-ways-to-stand-up-for-yourself-in-any-situation/">advocate for yourself</a>.



“Always bet on yourself,” Williams says. “That's your best bet. Don't bet on anyone else. Don't believe anyone else more than you. Take that chance; it's the best chance you’ll ever take.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Williams tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about not getting distracted by other people’s expectations, being vigilant about her mental health and why being honest is easier in the long run.

In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Williams tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about not getting distracted by other people’s expectations, being vigilant about her mental health and why being honest is easier in the long run. | SUCCESS

Tennis Lessons: Venus Williams on Life, Power, and Business

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Be Loud and Be Proud: Luvvie Ajayi Jones on Forging Your Own Path and Owning Your Successes

Professional Growth

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Professional Growth | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Sorry is supposed to be the hardest word, yet many of us live in a constant state of apologizing for who we are. Especially marginalized people. We’re sorry for being too opinionated, too talented, and for not meeting other people’s expectations.



Luvvie Ajayi Jones is done with apologizing, and she wants more people to join her.&nbsp;



You may know Luvvie from her best-selling book <a href="https://luvvie.org/im-judging-you-book/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,</a> published in 2016, or from her TED Talk, <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/luvvie_ajayi_jones_get_comfortable_with_being_uncomfortable" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Get comfortable with being uncomfortable</a>. She’s also an in-demand speaker and has released a second book, <a href="https://luvvie.org/professional-troublemaker-book/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual</a>. Or maybe you read the blog that started her career as a rebel with a cause.



Finding success hasn’t made Luvvie sit back. She’s now not only fighting to make her own voice heard, she wants to empower others to unapologetically follow their dreams.



“We spend a lot of time trying to make sure we don't disappoint other people, and we end up disappointing ourselves,” she says. “I deeply believe that we weren't born for the sake of not disappointing other people: Our purpose is bigger than other people's expectations of us, other people's ideas about us.”



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Luvvie tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper how she finally claimed the title “writer,” why she puts her own goals ahead of other people’s demands, and why privilege isn’t an accusation—but can be a tool for good.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/honoring-commitments-to-yourself-with-luvvie-ajayi/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Honoring Commitments to Yourself with Luvvie Ajayi"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-make-yourself-proud">Make yourself proud.</h2>



A lot of us were raised to treat other people’s expectations as our guide to life. We constantly worked to please our parents, coaches, teachers, bosses, friends and partners.&nbsp;



However, this approach forces us to live in a box of ambitions built by other people. When we look around and realize that we have dreams that don’t fit in that box, we have to choose between staying safe but stifled, or reaching for new limits and potentially facing backlash.



It’s hard to go against people you respect. But ending your life regretting the things you didn't do is harder.



“We have to be perfectly fine with letting people down, as long as we're making ourselves proud,” Luvvie says. “Because at the end of our lives, we're the ones who have to contend with how we lived, not the people who we tried to not disappoint.”



As someone who has boldly forged her own path in life, Luvvie says that telling people you’re doing something they didn’t expect gets easier. You might be surprised by how accepting they are, especially if you’ve proved yourself generally capable.



“Honor who you say you are, show up time and time again as consistent, as reliable, as clear,” she says. “Then, when you pick a different path, people are less willing to question you.”



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-minimize-your-gifts">Don’t minimize your gifts.</h2>



Here’s a secret: You don’t need a certificate in a frame to be good at something. People often feel uncomfortable claiming labels like “writer” or “painter.” They think you need some kind of incontrovertible proof, like a best-selling book or a gallery show, before you get to use that word to describe yourself.



The reality is that no one is going to show up at your door one day and declare that you are now a writer. You become a writer by writing every day.



Take it from Luvvie. Although she wrote a successful blog for years, she diminished that accomplishment by calling herself a blogger. “I was minimizing my gift: I was like, ‘Oh writing, it's just a hobby,’” she says.&nbsp;



But in 2012, Luvvie found herself backstage at the Oscars, surrounded by other journalists, having been invited to cover the awards for her blog. She realized that she was no less of a writer than they were.



“You don't have to downplay yourself to be a good person,” Luvvie says. “You don't have to deny your gifts to be humble. … You have the right to use your voice, to use yourself, to use your life as a testimony of what's possible.”



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-use-whatever-privilege-you-have-for-the-good-of-others">Use whatever privilege you have for the good of others.</h2>



Privilege is a fact, not an accusation. It’s simply stating that certain things about you that you didn’t choose mean that you don’t face challenges other people do.



That can include being born to a rich family; being white in the Western world; being male in patriarchal societies; or being heterosexual in societies where any other kind of sexuality is treated as taboo or unnatural.



“[Privilege] is not a judgment, and I want people to remove that idea,” Luvvie says. “Realize that when somebody points out your privilege, they're pointing out a fact about you. … It's not a fight. It is more of a fact.”



Once you recognize the privilege you have, use it to empower others.



Luvvie says that although she’s often still the only Black woman in the room, she recognizes that being invited to the table is a privilege. And she’s made enough money that she can afford to speak out and risk losing income.&nbsp;



“For those of us who… are not at risk of losing our livelihoods, our homes, we have no excuse to not be courageous in these moments that are tough,” Luvvie says. “I want to be able to use my power so the person who's living paycheck to paycheck does not have to put herself on the line, ever. I want my power to hopefully make sure she stops living the paycheck to paycheck life.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Sorry is supposed to be the hardest word, yet many of us live in a constant state of apologizing for who we are. Especially marginalized people. We’re

Sorry is supposed to be the hardest word, yet many of us live in a constant state of apologizing for who we are. Especially marginalized people. We’re | SUCCESS

Luvvie Ajayi Jones: Forging Your Path, Owning Success

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Looking Good, Feeling Unstoppable: Skin Pharm’s Maegan Griffin on Finding the Confidence to Get Started

Personal Development

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Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Making people feel beautiful for a living isn’t just about fixing their skin. It’s about helping them find out what they want to look like, but also who they want to be.



Nurse practitioner Maegan Griffin founded cosmetic dermatology practice <a href="https://skinpharm.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Skin Pharm</a> in Nashville, Tennessee, in 2017. Her blend of empathetic customer service and social media marketing saw it grow faster than she could have imagined, and she added a skin care line and two more clinics in Atlanta and Dallas.&nbsp;



As a young female founder in the male-dominated pharmaceutical skin care industry, Maegan has dealt with plenty of condescension, but she’s never let it stop her from pursuing her plans. Having witnessed her clients’ happiness when treatments work, she understands that beauty is more than skin deep.



“I look at us as more than a cosmetic dermatology practice, or more than this beauty brand we've become,” she says. “We’re really in this health and wellness space, and potentially even in the mental health space.”



On this episode of<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"> SUCCESS Stories</a>, Maegan talks to SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about finding the courage to get started, setting boundaries with social media, and accepting that there is no balance as a working mom (and why she’s totally OK with that).



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-podcasts/success-stories-finding-confidence-through-skincar/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="SUCCESS Stories: Finding Confidence through Skincare with Maegan Griffin"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-be-afraid-to-start">Don’t be afraid to start.</h2>



The first step of a new venture is always the hardest, especially if you want to do everything perfectly from the start. Planning becomes a cocoon: You convince yourself that you have to do X, Y and Z before you officially take the plunge—which allows you to put off the actual “doing” part.



The secret to turning your dream from an idea into a reality is that you have to stop planning and start acting—even if you haven’t quite got your head around it yet. All that time you’ve put into making plans has built a foundation, and at some point you have to stand on it to learn where the strengths and weaknesses are.



When Maegan launched Skin Pharm, she wasn’t exactly at zero. She’d been building a customer base for years while providing aesthetic medicine treatments. She held off on taking the leap and starting her own business until doing something much harder (giving birth to her first child) made her realize she was far more capable than she was giving herself credit for. She and her husband ran the numbers and decided to go for it.&nbsp;



Dreams are good fun. But that’s all they’ll ever be if you don’t do what you need to do to make them real.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-social-media-is-a-tool-that-cuts-both-ways">Social media is a tool that cuts both ways.</h2>



Social media is a marketing goldmine for up-and-coming companies like Skin Pharm.&nbsp;



Maegan used platforms like Instagram to first grow her own client base, and then to build the brand. In addition to the content posted on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/skin_pharm/?hl=en">Skin Pharm’s account</a>, customers regularly create and share photos and videos with their friends about how much they love the company’s services and products. That user-generated content helps get the word out in the most organic way and bring new customers to the brand.



However, Maegan advises being careful with your social media use. Many people have to use it for their jobs—but set boundaries. You can post throughout the day, but turn it off at night. She also recommends turning off your likes, so you don’t get into the pattern of feeling down when one post doesn’t get as much attention as another.&nbsp;



“The biggest thing that I try to coach people on is to make sure that [social media] doesn't measure your value,” Maegan says. If she starts to feel pressure from too much scrolling, she puts down her phone and takes a bath or goes for a walk.&nbsp;



Social media has its moments. Choose yours judiciously.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-moms-give-yourself-a-break">Moms, give yourself a break!</h2>



There’s no such thing as a balancing act when you’re juggling family and work. All you can do is your best, and if that means some things don’t come out perfectly, that’s OK.&nbsp;



Maegan credits her husband Brad and the support of their family for the fact she has the capacity to run her business and be there for her three young children. It helps that she’s accepted that her family life will flow into her work, and vice versa. It’s a system that works for her, and if she occasionally forgets something or makes a mistake, she’s not about to berate herself for it.&nbsp;



Just like the cookies that are a little burned on the bottom, or the handmade Halloween costume with the slightly uneven hem, our mistakes are always most obvious to us. Instead of noticing the flaws, focus on what you achieved and don’t sweat the rest.



“You realize that just getting by is fine. Your ‘just getting by’ is probably crushing it,” Maegan says. “It absolutely is possible to do it all, I think we just need to show ourselves some grace.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Making people feel beautiful for a living isn’t just about fixing their skin. It’s about helping them find out what they want to look like, but also who

Making people feel beautiful for a living isn’t just about fixing their skin. It’s about helping them find out what they want to look like, but also who | SUCCESS

Unstoppable Confidence: Maegan Griffin of Skin Pharm

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/MPPod_MaeganGriffin_Scom_Thumbnail_11_16_21.jpeg

When you’re trying to untangle the complicated mystery of your own personality, it helps to have a guide.



Sarajane Case has always been fascinated by why people behave the way that we do, and how we can make better choices. When she discovered the Enneagram, it felt like the key to getting as close to those answers as possible.



“We've boiled it down into the essence of why people do the things they do,” she says of the test.



Sarajane is bringing that key to everyone else, through her book <a href="https://amzn.to/3Clvqb2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Honest Enneagram: Know Your Type, Own Your Challenges, Embrace Your Growth</a>, and her podcast <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagram-coffee/id1447982978" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Enneagram &amp; Coffee</a>.



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Sarajane talks to SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about how to find your Enneagram type, why it's more than just a number, and how it can help you better understand the forces and experiences that drive you.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/self-discovery-through-enneagrams-with-sara-jane-c/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Self-discovery Using the Enneagram with Sarajane Case"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-the-enneagram">What Is the Enneagram?</h2>



The Enneagram is a personality test that divides everyone into one of nine categories, numbered one through nine, based on our fundamental motivations, fears and worldviews.



Briefly, the nine types are:



<ul>
<li>Type One: The Reformer, who wants to make the world a better place.</li>



<li>Type Two: The Helper, who believes they earn love through good deeds.</li>



<li>Type Three: The Achiever, who believes they earn worth and value through their actions.</li>



<li>Type Four: The Individualist, who believes their uniqueness is what makes them important.</li>



<li>Type Five: The Investigator, who fears being incompetent and incapable, and focuses on getting informed.</li>



<li>Type Six: The Loyal Skeptic, who seeks external support and safety.</li>



<li>Type Seven: The Enthusiast, who prioritizes keeping their options open, and fears being trapped emotionally.</li>



<li>Type Eight: The Challenger, who believes they have to fight their way to the top.</li>



<li>Type Nine: The Peacemaker, who focuses on their own peace of mind, and fears alienation from others.</li>
</ul>



None of the numbers are worse or better than the others. Every Enneagram type has its own strengths and weaknesses. The point is to understand which one you are so you can make the most of the positive traits that come with it, and mitigate the impact of the negative aspects.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-discover-your-enneagram-type">How to Discover Your Enneagram Type</h2>



Sarajane says that one place to start is with the many online quizzes that promise to tell you your type.&nbsp;



If you do three different quizzes and get the same number every time, that’s a good indicator that you fit into that category. From there, you can read up on your number using a more detailed resource, like her book.



It’s OK if you get different answers each time, too. Sarajane recommends taking the three types that are coming up most frequently, and doing further research to find out which one fits you best. That doesn’t mean choosing the one you most want to be, however.&nbsp;



If reading a description of one type makes you feel like someone put you in the center of a bright spotlight, you’re probably on the right track. “See if any of those make you feel uncomfortable, maybe a little bit exposed,” Sarajane says. “When I read mine, it felt like reading my journal out loud.”



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-soul-children-and-wing-numbers">Soul Children and Wing Numbers</h2>



You have one main Enneagram type that doesn’t really change as you get older. But you can also complement that with certain other Enneagram numbers. For example:



Wing numbers: The types on either side of your Enneagram type are called your wing numbers. Some people find that one or both of these types influence their main Enneagram type.&nbsp;



For example, a Three (Achiever) with a wing Two (Helper) channels their energy into work that supports others. “Like an entertainer or a host,” Sarajane says. In contrast, a Three with a wing Four (Individualist) is more likely to find value in projects that center themselves.



Wing numbers don’t work the same way for everyone. Some people lean more to one versus the other, some draw on both, and some don’t use either.



Soul child: Each Enneagram type has a respective soul child number: the Enneagram type that reflects how you feel when you’re at your most restful, and the way you were as a child. For example, for Enneagram Type Six (the Loyal Skeptic), the soul child is Type Nine (the Peacemaker).



Knowing your soul child can help you understand why you have the fears, goals and worldview that you do. “Your Enneagram type formed as an armor to protect that tiny version of yourself,” Sarajane explains.&nbsp;



For example, she says, people who are Type Six now—an anxious type—used to be “calm and cozy” Type Nines. “Somewhere along the way, they learned that wasn’t OK, that they needed to be on guard, they needed to be skeptical, they needed to figure out who they could and couldn't trust,” Sarajane says.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-use-the-enneagram-as-a-tool-for-growth">How to use the Enneagram as a tool for growth.</h2>



The Enneagram isn’t just about slapping a number on your personality. It’s about using the information about your type to play into your strengths and account for your weaknesses.



Sarajane recommends meditation as a useful tool that can help you get better at recognizing when you’re leaning into the worst traits of your type, and to make a different choice.



That involves being honest with yourself about areas you struggle with, as well as areas where you excel. “There's nothing wrong with not being good all the time, or not being perfect all the time,” Sarajane says. “We need to look at it as information, and do what we can with it: support our strengths and really let them shine, and then find ways to ease and soften our way to growth.”



Knowing you fit into one Enneagream type doesn’t mean you can only behave in ways that comply with that type. Your instincts may always lead you back there, but the more you grow and the more you understand about those instincts, the more you can exercise control over your choices.&nbsp;&nbsp;



“We have all nine types available to us, so we get to choose how we show up in any given situation,” Sarajane says. “We don't have to show up as our type.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

When you’re trying to untangle the complicated mystery of your own personality, it helps to have a guide. Sarajane Case has always been fascinated by why

When you’re trying to untangle the complicated mystery of your own personality, it helps to have a guide. Sarajane Case has always been fascinated by why | SUCCESS

Using Your Enneagram Type to Embrace Your Strengths and Understand Your Struggles

Enneagram: Embracing Strengths and Understanding Struggles

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Madison-Podcast-s.com-Thumbnails.png

How to Learn from our Most Painful Moments

Trigger warning: This post references childhood abuse, rape, domestic violence, suicide and depression.



What would you do if you had nothing left to lose?



<a href="https://www.suzybatiz.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Suzy Batiz</a> is the founder, CEO and inventor of <a href="https://www.poopourri.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Poo-Pourri</a>—the spray that has saved millions of people from the embarrassment of bathroom smells. As of October 2020, she was listed in <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/suzy-batiz/?sh=1df48a53d405" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes’ Top 100 Richest Self-Made Women</a>.



On the surface, Suzy’s life is as rosy as her product. But at 38, four years before founding Poo-Pourri, she had just declared bankruptcy for the second time. She was a survivor of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse, and rape. She had attempted suicide at 21, and exprienced long periods of depression. She had escaped an abusive marriage.



It was only when her second bankruptcy erased all her external successes that Suzy was forced to stop running and address not only her financial issues, but the trauma she had been carrying with her. She made <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-steps-to-discover-your-true-self/">understanding herself</a> the focus of her life.



“Really for the past 18 years, I would bet you probably won't find many people on the planet that have done more for internal <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-personal-development/">personal development</a> than I have,” she says. “It's really been my full-time job: I happen to be an entrepreneur on the side.”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/finding-your-way-up-with-suzy-batiz/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Finding Your Way Up with Suzy Batiz"></iframe>



On this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-madison-pieper/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Suzy tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper what she learned from the worst moments of her life, her true meaning, and why she quit her addiction to hope.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-look-to-external-factors-for-success">Don’t look to external factors for success.</h2>



Many of us grow up believing we can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-success/">measure our progress in life</a> by external achievements. We earn all the extracurricular certificates, chase promotion after promotion, and find partners and friends we believe will fulfill all our needs and desires.



Ultimately, however, clinging on to these external markers of success is a precarious way to find value. You can lose your money, your job, your friends and your partner. If you tie your self-worth to any of these things, you risk seeing it all taken away.



Instead, focus on your inner life. Are you the best version of yourself that you can be? Are you making the most of your life? Are you holding yourself accountable for your actions? Are you trying to make the world better for others?



People <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/31-things-that-happen-when-you-finally-decide-to-live-your-dreams/">live more fully</a> when we know what our personal reason to be here is. For Suzy, for example, it’s, “to be alive in every moment.” Spend the time you would otherwise use chasing more money or another promotion on finding that meaning for yourself.



You have the power in you to be successful. It might be hidden by your circumstances, but it’s in there. Look for that power inside yourself, not in other things.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-rock-bottom-is-a-new-perspective">Rock bottom is a new perspective.</h2>



There are not many bright sides to rock bottom. But knowing you have nothing left to lose also brings with it a reckless freedom that can represent opportunity—if you can just keep going.



Having been through multiple traumatic periods in her life, Suzy says that the second time she was forced to declare bankruptcy marked one of the lowest moments of her life. “I begged God to, ‘Take me... because I can't do this anymore,’” she says.&nbsp;



However, she also says that it gave her the chance to reevaluate her life. “I went through a spiritual sabbatical: a re-emerging of my authentic self,” she says. “Sometimes life gives us those things to wake us up.”



It was at this time that she stopped trying to run from her trauma, and from her financial problems. She started seeing a therapist regularly, and cultivating <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-ways-to-create-a-killer-relationship-with-your-mentors/">relationships with mentors</a>. She was able to recognize certain self-sabotaging patterns, and find ways to address them. She stopped prizing external achievements above inner happiness. “I found a place within myself where I was happy and at peace,” Suzy says.



That’s not to say you will wake up the day after the worst day of your life and immediately become a stronger, wiser person. Suzy went through a lot and did a lot of work on herself before she was able to see her lowest moments as <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/change-is-growth-3-tips-for-embracing-new-opportunities/">opportunities for growth</a>. If she can do it, with time, professional help and commitment, there is more than a chance that you can too.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-be-afraid-to-feel-alive">Don’t be afraid to feel alive.</h2>



Is that flutter in your stomach nerves or excitement? Don’t let the fearful component lead you to miss out on the thrill. Suzy believes in fully expressing your aliveness. “Can I express it through my voice, through my actions, through my movement: through life in my fullest capacity?” she says.&nbsp;



Run toward the things that make you feel alive, even when they’re scary. For example, that new job you’ve always wanted, or a new love.



If something is blocking your path or holding you back, interrogate what that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-how-to-solve-any-problem-that-gets-in-your-way/">mental roadblock</a> is made from. Whenever Suzy feels like she’s giving into fear, she consults her mentors and therapists for guidance in working out what she’s afraid of and how to overcome it.



The first thing she does is a reality check. Is there a genuine reason to be afraid? Sometimes your fear is justified, and you should respect what it’s trying to tell you. Other times, you’re building a non-existent threat into an obstacle that doesn’t need to be there. Once you’ve identified that tendency, it’s easier to knock that fear down to size.&nbsp;&nbsp;



One reason Suzy struggled for so long to differentiate between real and imagined threats was because she was, as one of her mentors put it, addicted to hope. When you hold on tight to hope, you refuse to accept reality.&nbsp;



Now, Suzy prefers to hold onto faith in a higher power, and trust in herself. “There's got to be something controlling something somewhere, so that's where I put my faith,” she says. “And I have trust in myself that I've been able to navigate very tough places and always find a way out.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

'Really for the past 18 years, I would bet you probably won't find many people on the planet that have done more for internal personal development than I have,” she says. “It's really been my full-time job: I happen to be an entrepreneur on the side.'

'Really for the past 18 years, I would bet you probably won't find many people on the planet that have done more for internal personal development than I have,” she says. “It's really been my full-time job: I happen to be an entrepreneur on the side.' | SUCCESS

How Suzy Batiz Found Perspective at Rock Bottom (and How You Can Too)

Suzy Batiz: Perspective at Rock Bottom and Beyond

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Using Your Platform for a Purpose: How to Become an Influencer Worth Following

However big (or small) your platform is, you’ll get so much more out of it if you use it to do good in the world.



<a href="https://www.instagram.com/legitsadierob/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Sadie Robertson Huff</a> became an accidental influencer before the term was even in common use. Between 2012 and 2017, she starred in her family’s reality show Duck Dynasty, about their family duck hunting business.&nbsp;



Since then, Sadie has claimed the spotlight in her own name, occasionally in a literal sense: She came second on Dancing With the Stars in 2014. She’s also a motivational speaker, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl2vodgsQPqVhbZNGNyjUiQ">YouTuber</a> and author. Her most recent book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08NHYHK46/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Live on Purpose: 100 Devotions for Letting Go of Fear and Following God</a>, was published in September 2021.



Rather than coast on her family’s fame, Sadie takes her work and her platform seriously.



“Your page is not just a page: it should represent your life. It should be something that brings joy to people, and represents who you really are,” she says. “I love being an influencer, I just want to be one worth following.”



On this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Sadie tells SUCCESS’s Madison Pieper about how to make a stand, why you shouldn’t assume you know where your career is headed, and why you should see your differences as superpowers, not flaws.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/setting-the-right-example-with-sadie-roberston-huf/embed" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Setting the Right Example with Sadie Roberston Huff"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-you-can-t-predict-your-path"> You can’t predict your path.</h2>



Don’t write off a future career path based on past experience. If you keep an open mind, you might be surprised by where you end up.



For example, Sadie never thought she’d write a book—let alone multiple books. She has a form of dyslexia and always found reading difficult in school, not to mention writing.



It was trying to speak that made her realize she conveyed her ideas better on the page. Her first experience of public speaking was a disaster: “People asked for their money back,” she says.&nbsp;



Sadie knew she still had a lot to say, and she turned back to writing to express herself. And her writing career has made her more in demand as a speaker.



Even your failures can present opportunities—you just have to be open to them.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-use-your-platform-for-a-purpose">Use your platform for a purpose.</h2>



Everyone has influence, it’s the scope that varies. Your platform might only extend to your friends and family, but you still have the power to change their minds—and the responsibility that comes with that. Use it wisely.



When you have the chance to use your platform, consider how you’d like to make a difference in the world. Ask yourself:



<ul>
<li>What’s the message you’d like to spread?&nbsp;</li>



<li>What’s an issue you really care about?&nbsp;</li>



<li>Have you been through something you can share that could help other people?</li>



<li>Is there an issue that’s caught your eye that you think isn’t getting enough attention?</li>
</ul>



Having a platform is ultimately meaningless unless you use it to do good. Reach out and share your experiences and ideas. You can make other people feel less alone, and raise awareness of issues that matter.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-compare-yourself-to-others">Don’t compare yourself to others.</h2>



Nothing can make you question your accomplishments and decisions like looking too long and hard at someone else’s life. Especially the version of their life they’ve curated for Instagram.



We’re rarely as critical of anything as we are ourselves. We don’t compare sunsets, or ocean waves, or even other people as harshly. We allow them to be different and still beautiful in their own right.



Instead of listing all the ways being different from other people makes you inferior to them, embrace those differences as the wonderful traits that make you an original masterpiece.



Your life might not look like what your friends and family are doing—or that stranger on the internet. Not only is that OK, it’s inspirational. By following your own impulses, you lay down a new path, and you might just give other people new ideas by doing so.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-have-the-courage-to-act-on-your-convictions">Have the courage to act on your convictions.</h2>



There are two key ingredients to forging a path that is true to yourself: convictions and courage.



Conviction is deciding to follow your own beliefs, or the values you were raised with, instead of doing what everyone around you is doing.&nbsp;



You also need the courage to act on those beliefs. That’s especially difficult if you’re the only person prepared to speak up.&nbsp;



“Even if people don’t understand you, it's always worth it to stay true to who you are,” Sadie says.



Once you do, you’ll probably be surprised to find out how many people agree with you and didn’t have the courage to be first. After all, being an influencer means taking the lead.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

However big (or small) your platform is, you’ll get so much more out of it if you use it to do good in the world. Sadie Robertson Huff became an

However big (or small) your platform is, you’ll get so much more out of it if you use it to do good in the world. Sadie Robertson Huff became an | SUCCESS

Platform with Purpose: Becoming an Influencer Worth Following

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What It Really Means to Be Your Best Self: 3 Tips for Finding Positive Direction

Becoming the best version of yourself sounds like a noble goal—but how do you actually work toward it?&nbsp;



Kristen Glosserman left her previous marriage because it wasn’t fulfilling her anymore. She gave up an executive career to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-become-a-certified-coach/">become a life coach</a>. She now helps CEOs and other professionals better enjoy their work and lives through practices that lead them in a positive direction.&nbsp;



Find out more about Kristen’s approach in her book <a href="https://amzn.to/3nRiq8C" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">If It's Not Right, Go Left: Practical and Inspirational Lessons to Move You in a Positive Direction</a>. If you live in New York, you can also visit her and her husband’s restaurant, Hill Country Barbecue Market.



Kristen defines the best version of yourself as “This self within all of us that we want to be. It's the combination of all of our goals and purposes. My husband says it's the recipe between work, home and life. We are our <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-steps-to-discover-your-true-self/">best version of ourselves</a> when we can feel that sense of light and purpose.”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/finding-ways-to-live-your-favorite-self-with-krist/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Finding Ways to Live Your Favorite Self with Kristen Glosserman"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Kristen tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why the path to happiness is built on good decisions, how to know whether a problem is worth your attention and why staying in your lane keeps you on track to happiness.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-focus-your-energy">Focus your energy.</h2>



Nothing can make you question your achievements and goals like looking too hard at what other people are doing. Reading about someone else’s promotion on LinkedIn or scrolling through photos of their new house on Instagram is a shortcut to the “grass is always greener” <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-ways-to-avoid-the-lifestyle-comparison-trap/">comparison trap mentality</a> that also leaves you green with envy.



That’s why Kristen recommends learning to “stay in your lane.” By that, she means understanding what you want and what you’ve accomplished, and not getting distracted thinking about what other people are doing.



That’s not the same as saying you should limit yourself. Your lane can be wide. For example, although Kristen typically leaves the operations side of the restaurant to her husband and the staff, she also loves food, and includes recipes in her book. “Could a chef tell me to stay in my lane? My lane includes food,” she says.



Apply this same level of focus to your long-term goals. Instead of making decisions based on what you think you should be doing, put together a clear vision of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-these-5-questions-will-define-where-youre-going-in-life/">what you want from life</a>.&nbsp;



“What is the picture you see for yourself, your family, your business and your life?” Kristen says. Once you can see that big picture, you can start making steps towards it, knowing that you’re working to achieve a goal you value, not what other people have decided on for you.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-approach-problems-strategically">Approach problems strategically.</h2>



You’re stuck in traffic and the time before your meeting is ticking down. The exercise class that fits in perfectly with your schedule is full. The milk you just picked up at the store spilled in the car, soaking everything.



These are all frustrating situations over which <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-joy-of-letting-go-of-control/">we have no control</a>. But they only become problems if we decide that’s what they are.



When you feel yourself getting exasperated over something that’s happened, stop and ask yourself whether it deserves the significance you’re granting it. Spilled milk doesn’t merit the same amount of attention and emotion as, say, a medical emergency. The latter is a problem, and it needs to be addressed. The former is something you can deal with without letting it impact your day.



In that example, it’s pretty easy to see the difference between an objective problem and something that doesn’t have to rise to that level. But life isn’t always that clear-cut.&nbsp;



If you’re wrestling with a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/7-tips-for-dealing-with-uncertainty/">situation you don’t know how to handle</a>—to the point that it’s taking up a lot of your brain space—simplify it to its most basic essence. You might realize that it’s less complicated than you realized: More of a milk-spilling irritation than a full-scale problem. Or you might get a better understanding of the root of the issue and how you can address it.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-build-mental-muscle">Build mental muscle.</h2>



Becoming your best self and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-happiness-and-why-is-it-important/">finding happiness</a> isn’t a one-off process. You have to build a practice over time that eventually adds up to feeling content in all aspects of your life.&nbsp;



Treat it like a muscle or a skill: Just like you don’t run for five minutes to prepare for a marathon, or cook one omelet and become a chef—you have to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/commit-to-constant-and-never-ending-improvement/">commit to self-improving efforts</a> every day.



A lot of that practice comes down to making decisions that lead you in a positive direction. Those decisions won’t always be the same.&nbsp;



For example, say you go to an event in your industry where you make a lot of great connections. You’re invited to an after party. If you go, you could potentially continue meeting more people and networking. If you don’t go, you’ll feel more refreshed for all the tasks you have to do tomorrow.



Neither decision is always right or always wrong. It depends on the situation—whether you have a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-ways-to-prepare-your-brain-and-body-for-a-busy-day/">busy morning</a> planned, for example—and what will be best for you in the long term.



That said, don’t think that a lack of instant benefits means a long and tedious slog. The thing about happiness—and self-improvement—is that the journey to get to it is as meaningful as the goal you’re aiming for.&nbsp;



“Happiness isn't one moment,” Kristen says. “It's the process and the journey…. It took many years of creating a process and a discipline around positive direction that got me here. It's the many good decisions that led to the happy, fulfilled and exuberant person that I am today.”



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Kristen Glosserman says the path to happiness is built on good decisions, how to know whether a problem is worth your attention and why staying in your lane keeps you on track to happiness.

Kristen Glosserman says the path to happiness is built on good decisions, how to know whether a problem is worth your attention and why staying in your lane keeps you on track to happiness. | SUCCESS

Finding Your Best Self: 3 Tips for Positive Direction

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Burn It All Down: 4 Tips for Drastically Improving Every Area of Your Life

“Burning your life down” sounds like a drastic way to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/ikigai-how-im-finding-fulfillment-in-all-the-right-places/">achieve the fulfillment you’re currently missing</a>, but&nbsp; bold steps mean bold results.



When Lindsay Teague Moreno’s mom died suddenly at 53, Lindsay realized that the “burning everything down” approach was the only way she could turn her loss into growth. She knew that her mom had left behind so many unfulfilled dreams, and didn’t want that for herself.



In two years, Lindsay went from being a stay-at-home mom—a valid choice, but one that didn’t work for her—to a speaker, serial entrepreneur, host of <a href="https://www.lindsaytm.com/boss-up-podcast/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Boss Up Podcast</a>, and author of three books. Her latest, <a href="https://amzn.to/3tjzXqX" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Wake Up: The Powerful Guide to Changing Your Mind About What it Means to Really Live</a>, will be released on Oct. 26, 2021.



Opening up hasn’t been an easy process for Lindsay, but she has no regrets. “I'm not going to allow my triggers to keep me small,” she says.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/overcoming-fear-with-lindsay-teague-moreno/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Overcoming Fear with Lindsay Teague Moreno"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall talks to Lindsay about finding your purpose, pushing through the discomfort, and why balance doesn’t exist—and why that’s OK when you’re changing your life.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-imagine-your-own-funeral">Imagine your own funeral.</h2>



To access the push it takes to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-fundamental-truths-that-will-change-your-life/">change the way you live</a>, you need to comprehend that you only have one life—and the time to do what you want with it is right now.&nbsp;



To drive that home, imagine that you’re lying in your grave at your funeral, looking up at your mourners. What are they saying about you?



<ul>
<li>Are they proud?&nbsp;</li>



<li>Are they describing you in how you hoped you would be remembered?&nbsp;</li>



<li>Are they disappointed?</li>



<li>Do you recognize the person they’re talking about?&nbsp;</li>
</ul>



Pay attention to how you feel about your sudden (fake) death:



<ul>
<li>Are there things that you wanted to achieve that you were <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-truths-about-taking-and-not-taking-risks/">too scared to try</a>?&nbsp;</li>



<li>Were there dreams you never got around to fulfilling?</li>
</ul>



Lindsay calls these dreams “somedays:” the things you always say you’re going to do “someday” but haven’t prioritized. For her mom, for example, it was rafting down the Grand Canyon.



This exercise is a little morbid, yes. But it’s better to do it now, while you can still act, than push it away and never turn those somedays into todays.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-balance-doesn-t-exist">Balance doesn’t exist.</h2>



Lindsay has identified what she calls “the six cornerstones of a good life.” Achieving success in these areas, she says, leads to all-round fulfilment. They are:



<ol>
<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-align-your-career-with-your-personal-definition-of-success/">Business and work</a></li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-create-a-personal-financial-plan/">Finances</a></li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-smart-ways-for-busy-people-to-stay-healthy/">Health</a></li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-and-why-to-reconnect-with-your-inner-dreamer/">Personal desires</a></li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-key-to-building-healthy-relationships/">Relationships</a></li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/22-ways-to-practice-stillness/">Spiritual connection</a></li>
</ol>



If you’re wondering how you’re supposed to work on all six right now, the answer is: you’re not. Phew!



Lindsay knows that what she’s pitching is a lot to take on, which is why you won’t address all the cornerstones at the same time. Instead, you’re going to pick one, get yourself to the point where you’ve achieved what you want to in that area, and then move on to another one.



Lindsay is also very upfront that going all-in on one area at a time is going to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/work-life-balance-doesnt-exist-make-time-to-follow-your-passion-with-seasons-of-focus/">make your life feel unbalanced</a> when you first start this process. You need to accept that and focus on the big picture.



For example, for two years, Lindsay prioritized building her business and making enough money to give her family a comfortable life. It was hard on them, but she knew that she was doing it for their benefit. Once she’d achieved financial security, she moved on to strengthening those family relationships. When day-to-day life feels unbalanced, remember that it will lead to security in the long term.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-find-your-purpose">How to find your purpose.</h2>



<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-my-purpose-in-life/">Finding your purpose</a> is a deeply personal journey. The first step is understanding what you truly value the most in life.&nbsp;



For example, one of the core values Lindsay identifies is hedonism. That might sound superficial, but it’s really about, as she puts it, loving “the experience of life.” Another is universalism, “where you want everybody to come together as one,” she says.



When you’ve decided on your personal core value, dig deeper into how you’re going to enact it in your life, using her four-step Whoop Experience.&nbsp;



Identify:



<ol>
<li>What you wish for</li>



<li>The outcome of making that wish come true</li>



<li>Potential obstacles</li>



<li>How you plan to bring that wish to life</li>
</ol>



If you could go back in time and ask your teenage self to identify their purpose, they would probably give you a different answer than your current one. That’s normal: Your purpose will evolve over time. When you’ve found fulfilment with one, you can repeat the process for your new purpose.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-push-through-the-discomfort">Push through the discomfort.</h2>



You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, and you can’t change your life without ruffling a few feathers.&nbsp;



Chicken-related metaphors aside, overhauling your life can be uncomfortable, for you and the people you love.



For example, many people hate <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/transforming-your-relationship-with-money/">talking about money</a>, especially admitting that it would be nice to have more of it. But Lindsay will happily tell you that it’s changed her life for the better. “Being rich is awesome!” she says. However, for a long time, she struggled to talk openly about her finances.&nbsp;



This discomfort extends beyond your internal turmoil. People don’t like change, especially in their social groups. They will push back and try to convince you not to upset the status quo.



During difficult conversations, Lindsay recommends using the “when you... I feel... because...” format. For example, “When you criticize my decisions in front of our family, I feel hurt and rejected, because I want to feel like you support my efforts to improve my life.”



Opening up won’t get through to everyone, and you may need to make the choice to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/top-of-mind-how-to-distance-yourself-from-unhealthy-relationships/">spend less time with certain people</a>. Lindsay, for example, no longer has a relationship with her dad.&nbsp;



She still finds it difficult to broach such controversial subjects, but she understands that discomfort is part of growth. Chickens are stuck on the ground—but if you push yourself, the sky's the limit.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Kindra Hall talks to Lindsay about finding your purpose, pushing through the discomfort, and why balance doesn’t exist—and why that’s OK when you’re changing your life.

In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Kindra Hall talks to Lindsay about finding your purpose, pushing through the discomfort, and why balance doesn’t exist—and why that’s OK when you’re changing your life. | SUCCESS

Drastically Improve Your Life: 4 Tips to Burn It All Down

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How to Work Less and Live More: 3 Tips for Building a 4-Day Workweek

The first day back after a holiday weekend inspires many people to wonder why every week can’t be more play and less work.



Joe Sanok says that it can.



Joe is a licensed counselor, entrepreneur, speaker, and host of the podcast, <a href="https://www.practiceofthepractice.com/private-practice-resources/listen-to-the-podcast/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Practice of the Practice</a>. He’s also the author of <a href="https://amzn.to/2V52xj8" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Thursday is the New Friday: How to Work Fewer Hours, Make More Money, and Spend Time Doing What You Want</a>, due for release on Oct. 5, 2021.



Joe first experimented with working Monday through Thursday in college, when he designed his schedule to give himself a three-day weekend. Once he started his career, he moved to the traditional 40-hour Monday-to-Friday model—and then to working 50 hours a week.&nbsp;



But in 2012, a series of personal challenges made him realize he wanted to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/too-busy-for-relationships/">spend more time with family</a>.



“I had to recalibrate what it was that I wanted,” Joe says. “I decided to experiment with going back to that four-day workweek. And every single month was better than the month before.”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/embracing-the-four-day-work-week-with-joe-sanok/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Embracing the Four-Day Work Week with Joe Sanok"></iframe>



On this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Joe tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall what Henry Ford has to do with our concept of working hours, why more time off means improved productivity, and why boundaries are important for <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-create-the-perfect-conditions-for-deep-focus/">protecting your schedule</a>.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-humans-invented-the-seven-day-workweek-and-they-can-uninvent-it-too">Humans invented the seven-day workweek — and they can uninvent it too</h2>



We’ve been measuring time in seven-day portions for so long that we forget it doesn’t have to be this way.&nbsp;



Humans didn’t invent time: the Earth has, as far as we know, been moving around the sun since well before our species climbed out of the primordial ooze.&nbsp;



However, the sections we divide time into are arbitrary. Ever wondered why there are 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour? It’s not because of some phenomenon of physics. It’s because the Babylonians <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-1487,00.html">built their astrological system around the number 60</a>.



Speaking of ancient history, there are multiple instances of weeks that weren’t seven days.



As Joe explains, the Roman week was 10 days until around 300 A.D., when Emperor Constantine declared that the entire Roman Empire would start using a seven-day week.&nbsp;



As for the work part of workweek, you can thank (or blame) Henry Ford for the 40-hour standard.



Joe explains that up until 1926, the typical workweek lasted 10 to 16 hours a day on six or seven days. But then Ford realized that if he gave his employees more leisure time, they would have more time to travel—and would therefore want a car.



If the Babylonians, Emperor Constantine and Henry Ford can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/accomplish-more-by-doing-less/">reevaluate the concept of time</a> to suit themselves, you can too.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-stress-is-not-conducive-to-productivity">Stress is not conducive to productivity</h2>



One reason many people give for not trying a four-day workweek is that they don’t want to be extra busy four days out of seven just to take the fifth one off.



There are two responses to this line of reasoning. First, with the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/12-productivity-tools-and-strategies-to-help-you-seize-the-day/">right productivity tools</a>, you won’t need to be so stress-inducingly busy on the days that you are working. And second, working four days a week will give you more time to relax, which will ultimately decrease your stress levels. And decreased stress levels mean you’re able to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/100-simple-secrets-of-productive-people/">be more productive</a>.



Think about a time when you were under great stress. You probably weren’t inspired to try something new or push for a new goal. You probably also didn’t feel like you were getting much done.&nbsp;



People don’t work to the best of their abilities when they feel stressed. In the long term, giving yourself the opportunity to recharge your batteries from Friday through Sunday will help you stay energized and focused from Monday through Thursday.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-transition-gradually-but-firmly">Transition gradually—but firmly</h2>



There is no scientific formula to help you switch to a four-day workweek. Find what works for you practically and psychologically. Here are a few strategies to help:



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-discover-your-sprint-style-nbsp">Discover your sprint style.&nbsp;</h3>



A sprint is when you devote all your attention to completing one task or project in a short amount of time.&nbsp;



You might have tried to cut down your work hours before, and felt too overwhelmed when it came time to sprint. This time around, consider the two elements that make up your sprint style, and tailor the way you work to them.



When: Do you prefer to sprint for small and regular periods of time (e.g., one day every week)? Or are you more productive sprinting for longer stretches less regularly (e.g., four days in a row once every month or two)?



How: Do you work best when you’re switching between different but related tasks (e.g., from writing to researching to planning?) Or do you get more done when you take <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/this-one-thing-is-killing-your-productivity/">one thing at a time</a>? Some people like variety; other people like focus.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-set-hard-and-soft-boundaries">Set hard and soft boundaries.</h3>



Opportunities will come up that would require you to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-the-most-successful-people-do-on-the-weekend/">work on your chosen day off</a>. You need to set boundaries that will help you enshrine that regular day off into your schedule—with enough flexibility that you won’t feel like you’re sacrificing once-in-a-lifetime career advances.



Hard boundaries: Anything that would require you to work on your day off every week in the long term has to be a firm no. The same goes for one-off or short-term projects that don't come with enough payback to make them worth sacrificing your reset time.



Soft boundaries: Some things are <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-i-turned-down-a-full-time-job-for-freelancing/">too good to turn down</a>. Don’t be so rigid that you won’t even entertain meeting someone you’ve always wanted to connect with, for example, just because they’re only available on a Friday.



No one can tell you what you should and shouldn’t make an exception for. Typically, say no more than yes to giving up time: save it for the really special opportunities.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-experiment">Experiment.</h3>



When you’re still dipping your toe into the four-day workweek waters, start by trying small scale experiments to see how it works out.



For example, take every Friday off for a month, and see how it affects your work. What will probably happen, Joe says, is that you’ll end up <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-to-do-if-youre-a-chronic-procrastinator/">putting off certain tasks</a> over and over again, in order to complete the more important ones.



Not only will this prove that you definitely can fit all the work you need to do into four days, it will show you which parts of your job you should hire someone to do.



The four-day workweek is an experiment. Yes, in productivity: but mostly in what your life could be if you gave yourself 52 extra days a year to do what you want with the people you love.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

On this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Joe tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall what Henry Ford has to do with our concept of working hours, why more time off means improved productivity, and why boundaries are important for protecting your schedule.

On this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Joe tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall what Henry Ford has to do with our concept of working hours, why more time off means improved productivity, and why boundaries are important for protecting your schedule. | SUCCESS

Building a 4-Day Workweek: 3 Tips for Work-Life Balance

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Charting Your New Course: 4 Tips When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

When the life plans you thought were solid suddenly fall apart, the blank slate left behind feels like a terrifying abyss of nothingness. It also represents an <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-ways-to-turn-obstacles-into-opportunities/">incredible opportunity</a>.



Career coach and New York Times best-selling author Dave Hollis knows what it’s like to go from cruise control to freefall. In 2018, he left his role as president of worldwide distribution at Disney to build a company with his then-wife, New York Times best-selling author and speaker <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rachel-hollis-made-for-more/">Rachel Hollis</a>. Then, in 2020, Dave and Rachel announced their divorce.



“Almost everything that I thought would be there forever was now not, and that death—in a crazy way—was freedom. It gave me permission to cast any vision: I could reconnect with why I was actually on this planet, and what <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/i-stopped-chasing-money-heres-what-happened/">chasing after my dreams</a> or sailing off my map might look like,” Dave says.



He’s since released his second book, <a href="https://amzn.to/3B5LcG3" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Built Through Courage: Face Your Fears to Live the Life You Were Meant For</a>. His first children’s book, <a href="https://amzn.to/38abVVC">Here's to Your Dreams!</a>, is scheduled for release in February 2022.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/leaving-safe-harbor-with-dave-hollis/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Leaving Safe Harbor with Dave Hollis"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, chief storytelling officer Kindra Hall talks to Dave about working toward the purpose you were created to pursue, giving your emotions human names and the transition from five-year plans to making it through lunch.&nbsp;



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-draw-a-map-to-lead-you-to-your-purpose">Draw a map to lead you to your purpose.</h2>



You are the only person who has your genes, your experiences and your talents, and Dave believes you were given that unique combination of traits for a specific purpose. Once you understand <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-my-purpose-in-life/">your purpose</a>, dedicate your life to achieving it.



Picture it like a lighthouse: Now that you can see it, you can draw a map to guide you toward it. That map is made up of all the tools you’ll need, and the tasks you need to accomplish to get there.



Caution: make sure it’s your map that you’re on. When Dave was running a company with his then-wife Rachel, he realized he wasn’t moving toward his own dreams. He was on her map.



It’s not just partners who can unintentionally sidetrack you. You might also follow a map laid out by your parents, your employees or even society.&nbsp;



How can you tell? If you’re working toward what you think is your purpose, but you still feel unfulfilled; or there’s something else you’re drawn to but keep ignoring, that’s a sign the destination you’re trying to reach may belong to someone else.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-comfort-is-appealing-but-only-challenges-help-you-grow">Comfort is appealing but only challenges help you grow.</h2>



Staying with the lighthouse and map metaphor, picture your comfortable option—your steady job, your relationship, your hometown—as a harbor. Ships are safe from the most violent storms and the deadliest waves in a harbor. But ships were built to leave the harbor. It’s the only way you’ll discover new destinations.



For a long time, Dave assumed that when he achieved his goals and found stability, he would <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-success-doesnt-mean-youre-living-a-fulfilled-life/">feel fulfilled</a>. But when he finally got there—he was a Disney executive, at the top of the industry he’d always hoped to work in—he realized it wasn’t the goal itself that had inspired him to jump out of bed every day; it was the effort and lessons required to achieve it.



It’s normal to long for security, but it won’t help you grow. The only way to challenge and push yourself is by trying new things that are <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/52-ways-to-get-out-of-your-comfort-zone/">outside of your comfort zone</a>.&nbsp;



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-make-the-next-right-decision">Make the next right decision.</h2>



Before his divorce, Dave believed he had the next five years clearly mapped out. When that part of his life was pulled out from under him, he found himself in a position where he wasn’t even sure what the following morning looked like.



Dave took the rebuilding process slowly. He had to prioritize all aspects of his health. He broke it down into five categories:



<ul>
<li>Physical</li>



<li>Spiritual</li>



<li>Mental</li>



<li>Emotional</li>



<li>Relational</li>
</ul>



For each one, he mapped out two or three goals at a time. Sometimes they were 90-day goals, and sometimes they were just for that day. Instead of trying to think five years ahead, he focused on making the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/stop-overthinking-it-9-ways-to-make-decisions-with-confidence/">next right decision</a>.



Over time, Dave started to build a new vision for his life, one that was actually an improvement, health-wise, on what he’d previously believed lay in store for him. Gradually, he was able to plan further into the future.&nbsp;



Blank pages are intimidating when you’re first faced with them. But if you start with one word or one pencil mark at a time, you’ll be surprised how quickly it can shape into a plan.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-name-your-emotions">Name your emotions.</h2>



Naming your emotions creates a space between you and them. You are not the emotions themselves; you are simply observing them.&nbsp;



This distance makes it easier to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-strategies-for-working-through-difficult-emotions/">create a dialogue with those emotions</a>. In turn, it becomes easier to assess why they’re happening and how to deal with them.



To be clear, this doesn’t just mean naming how they feel, with words like fear, sadness and guilt. We’re talking about giving them human names.



For example, Dave calls his anxiety Clark. “If it sounds woo-woo, just go with me for a second: it changed my entire life,” he says.



Dave understands that like all of his emotions, Clark is trying to be helpful when he shows up uninvited. When that happens now, instead of getting overwhelmed, Dave asks Clark why he’s there.



Typically, Clark’s purpose is to point out aspects of Dave’s life that are mired in ambiguity. Clark is not a fan of ambiguity.



As frustrating as Clark can be, once Dave understands the reason for a particular visit, it pushes him to address whatever problem Clark is pointing out. He’ll make a plan, which removes the ambiguity, while also helping Dave make progress with whichever area of his life was affected.&nbsp;



Clark is happy and goes away, and Dave is happy that he’s moving forward on his map.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Kindra Hall talks to Dave Hollis about working toward your purpose, giving your emotions human names and the transition from five-year plans to making it through lunch.

Kindra Hall talks to Dave Hollis about working toward your purpose, giving your emotions human names and the transition from five-year plans to making it through lunch. | SUCCESS

Charting Your New Course: 4 Tips When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned | SUCCESS

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Saying No to More: Why Giving Your Brain Space to Wander Improves Your Productivity

When was the last time you stared out a window and reflected on your life? Or daydreamed about a new project? Or reevaluated the way you spend your days?



Thankfully, productivity expert Juliet Funt is giving us all permission to make time every day to sit and think, which she calls white space.&nbsp;



Juliet’s approach has helped companies including Nike, Google and Spotify help increase their employees happiness and productivity, which she outlines in her book, <a href="https://amzn.to/3maEN8g" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A Minute to Think: Reclaim Creativity, Conquer Busyness, and Do Your Best Work</a>.



“What is rewarded in this particular environment is checking boxes, sending things, and activity where the motion can be seen by others,” Juliet says. “But if you think of ‘productive’ as meaning ‘to have made something of value,’ it doesn’t mean, ‘I sweated my way through lots of motion.’”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/unlocking-your-productivity-with-juliet-funt/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Unlocking Your Productivity with Juliet Funt"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Juliet explains about what really counts as white space (<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-happened-when-i-ditched-technology-for-7-days/">put the phone down</a>), why we’re so uncomfortable with appearing like we’re doing nothing, and how to make some white space in your day.&nbsp;



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-white-space-is-unscheduled-time">White space is unscheduled time.</h2>



White space starts out as time in your day when you have nothing scheduled. That doesn’t mean more time for social media scrolling, though.



For that time to count as white space, give it over to free thinking. No phones, emails or interruptions allowed.&nbsp;



The idea is to take a pause from all the things that keep you busy, so your brain has time and space to discover emotions, ideas and reflections it’s been ignoring in the rush of everyday life. Juliet has an adorable analogy to explain the nuances of white space more clearly:



Imagine taking a dog for a walk in a park. There are three ways this walk can go:



<ol>
<li>The dog is on the leash. The walk is more relaxing than working, but the dog (your brain) is still being guided. This is similar to a meditation or <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-ways-you-can-use-mindfulness/">mindfulness practice</a>, which requires you to concentrate on a mantra or candle.</li>



<li>The dog sneaks off the leash. One second you were working on your report, the next you were checking on that eBay auction you’re bidding on. Your brain is off the leash, and though what it gets up to is fun in the moment, it will lead to guilt later because you know you’re not supposed to be playing right now.</li>



<li>The dog is allowed off the leash to explore. This is what constitutes white space: You’re deliberately finding time to let your brain run around and follow whatever thought it wants to. Who knows what it might bring home?</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-four-ways-to-use-white-space">The four ways to use white space</h2>



The way you use white space will fit into four general categories:



<ol>
<li>Recuperation: When you’re feeling overwhelmed with tasks and demands, use your white space to stop and rest. Doing this regularly will help <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/11-strategies-for-managing-stress/">decrease your stress</a> levels.</li>



<li>Reflect: Take your white space to examine different aspects of your life. Are you happy with your job? Could your relationship with your partner, your children or your parents be better? Ask yourself how things are going and what you can change to improve them.</li>



<li>Reduce: Is there something at home or at work that you’re spending too much time on without getting enough in return? Use your white space to think about the things that are cluttering up your day, making you <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-overwhelmed/">feel overwhelmed</a>, and plan how you can cut back on them.</li>



<li>Construct: Make something new in your mind. White space gives your brain the chance to put aside all the distractions and demands and get creative. Let your mind wander and find a new idea, goal or dream.</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-we-struggle-to-use-white-space">Why we struggle to use white space</h2>



If the concept of white space sounds like a guilty pleasure, don’t blame yourself: blame work culture.



We’ve been taught that being <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-fundamental-truths-that-will-change-your-life/">visibly busy</a> is the ultimate indicator of productivity. The idea that you can be lost in thought, staring out of a window—without frantically scribbling notes—and still be having important breakthroughs is foreign in our go-go-go multitasking professional climate.



Ironically, this ingrained cultural belief means we end up wasting time on tasks that aren’t actually productive, just so we can appear to be doing something.&nbsp;



Think of all those meetings and reports that eat into your day but never lead to a big revelation—just more meetings and reports. If everyone had spent that time sitting silently, letting their minds roam, or reflecting on their lives, you probably would have heard more fresh ideas and new insights.



In an environment that values busyness as the mark of a strong work ethic, it’s hard to be the one who intentionally <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/think-slow-and-other-tricks-for-better-problem-solving/">makes time to slow down</a> and contemplate. But don’t let other people’s judgement dissuade you from exploring this useful tool. Eventually, they’ll see how powerful it really is.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-to-embrace-white-space-nbsp">How to embrace white space&nbsp;</h2>



Incorporating white space into your life starts with redefining the way you feel about taking time out to slow down, and looking for space in your day that isn’t blocked out.



<ul>
<li>Don’t feel guilty. If you still feel guilty for scheduling a break from the rest of your busy day, just remember that many <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-qualities-of-wildly-successful-people/">extremely successful people</a> demand at least an hour of white space every day. It's working for them, which means you can absolutely find two to three minutes at a time. Think of it as strategic rather than indulgent.</li>



<li>Notice the natural pauses. Sometimes you’ll plan white space around your calendar. If you have back-to-back meetings five minutes apart, for example, it makes sense to use those five minutes as white space. Other times, you’ll base it on your mood. If you find yourself feeling worked up and rushed, take some time out and channel that energy into your white space.</li>



<li>Practice. Most people have chunks of time in their day that could double as white space. For example, when you’re driving or on the train. Turn off your music or podcasts, don’t look at your phone or call anyone. Lean into the rhythm of the vehicle you’re in and let your brain wander. Learning the technique now will make it easier to use later.</li>



<li>Add a wedge of white space. Slip a small sliver of white space in between two activities: waking up and getting out of bed, for example, or between sitting down at your desk and starting your work. This will ensure you actually make time every day, which is how white space goes from something you have to practice to something you can’t imagine not doing.</li>
</ul>



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall talks to Juliet about what really counts as white space (put the phone down), why we’re so uncomfortable with appearing like we’re doing nothing, and how to make some white space in your day.

Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall talks to Juliet about what really counts as white space (put the phone down), why we’re so uncomfortable with appearing like we’re doing nothing, and how to make some white space in your day. | SUCCESS

Productivity Boost: Giving Your Brain Space to Wander

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How Following the Rules Empowers You to Break Them on Your Own Terms

There aren’t many entrepreneurs who would call themselves rule-followers. Yet Michelle Cordeiro Grant, founder and CEO of lingerie brand <a href="https://www.wearlively.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">LIVELY</a>, is both a self-described rule-follower and undeniable rule-changer.&nbsp;



Michelle says that as the daughter of Indian immigrants, she originally seemed destined to end up in one of the career paths her parents expected her to go into: doctor, lawyer or investment banker.



But even as she got good grades, she felt herself drawn away from that route.



“I was seeing opportunities on the side that looked like glimmers of light,” Michelle says. “I started to lean into those things. I started to feel this glimmer of joy that was different from what I had felt when I was doing what I thought was right.”



After graduating from college, Michelle followed those impulses to New York, where she worked in merchandising for department store-owners the Federated Merchandising Group, Victoria’s Secret, and Thrillist. In 2015, she founded LIVELY, a lingerie brand built around a community of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/women-of-influence/">women who empower</a> each other to defy expectations.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/breaking-the-rules-with-michelle-cordeiro-grant/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Breaking the Rules with Michelle Cordeiro Grant"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Michelle tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall how a career disaster turned out to be fate, why she’s proud to be a rule-follower in a world of disruptors, and how she found a work-life balance that makes her a better boss and mom.&nbsp;



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-being-a-rule-follower-doesn-t-mean-being-boring">Being a rule-follower doesn’t mean being boring.</h2>



Not every entrepreneur lives by the mantra of “Move fast and break things.” Taking things slow and learning how an industry works can give you the tools you need to do something completely outside the norm in the future.



Michelle spent years working and training in merchandising before stepping out on her own. These experiences gave her an insider perspective on the lingerie industry, and a head start on the burgeoning world of social media marketing, which she combined to found Lively.&nbsp;



Following the things that brought her joy—as well as the rules—led her to embrace entrepreneurship in a way that worked for her.



<div id="om-t4bqcdcagx9jih5kacom-holder"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-when-things-don-t-go-the-way-you-want-look-for-opportunities">When things don’t go the way you want, look for opportunities.</h2>



To borrow a phrase from the great Mick Jagger, you can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find that the circumstances you’ve been stuck with can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-ways-to-create-your-own-opportunities-at-work/">create opportunities</a> you would otherwise have missed out on.



Life doesn’t always respect your plans, and no matter how hard you work to pull them off, some things will go off the rails. It’s OK to be upset for a minute, as long as you then switch gears and start looking at what you can salvage from the situation. Are there silver linings you haven’t spotted yet?



Michelle was initially devastated when she was assigned to the lingerie department after finishing a product training course with the Federated Merchandising Group. “I sat in my room in Hoboken and cried and cried,” she says. “And then I got up and went to work.”



Michelle focused on the fact she was in New York—where she’d longed to be—and she was working with some very impressive people. Having decided to stick out her less-than-desired job, she ended up learning a lot about the lingerie business, and ultimately falling in love with it. And we know where that led.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-embrace-these-crucial-traits-nbsp">Embrace these crucial traits.&nbsp;</h2>



Having become an entrepreneur by accident, Michelle thinks there are three traits anyone who wants to follow her down this path needs:



<ol>
<li>Curiosity: Where other people accept the way things are, entrepreneurs constantly question whether another approach would work better, and how to bring it to life.</li>



<li>Learning fast: Entrepreneurs don’t have to know everything about <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-start-a-business-in-a-day/">starting a business</a> to succeed. But that means you’re going to face a lot of situations that are new to you. Being unflappable and adaptable in the face of a first-time challenge is essential.</li>



<li>Knowing when to ask for help: Because you don’t know everything, you have to be open to approaching and learning from those who can fill in the gaps in your knowledge. You also need to be able to ask for emotional support that will help you make it over the hurdles.</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-find-a-work-life-balance-that-works-for-you-nbsp">Find a work-life balance that works for you.&nbsp;</h2>



Michelle realized her time at Victoria’s Secret had run its course when she got married. She saw that the other women she worked with chose to put their work over their families, and knew she didn’t want to do that. Now, she’s committed to carving out quality time for her children and husband.&nbsp;



It’s not just about <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/start-with-the-foundation-the-7-building-blocks-of-a-fulfilling-life/">building a happy life</a> for them. Michelle says that she’s learned she has to look after herself, so she’s able to show up for her family and employees. For her, that means getting enough exercise and sleep.&nbsp;



And no, it’s not about that tired phrase “having it all.” Instead, it’s knowing that you can’t have or do it all, and prioritizing what matters the most. People—especially women—feel pressured to live up to certain expectations, Michelle says: but you ultimately set the expectations, so be kind to yourself and lower your own bar.



That’s not to say Michelle never has stressful days; she left a relatively stable job to found a lingerie startup, after all. However, she says that part of looking after herself and the people around her has been learning how to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-lead-in-a-crisis/">lead in the face of a crisis</a>.&nbsp;



Her strategy involves deep breaths, walks around the block, and accepting things that she can’t change, instead of fighting them. “Accept what you can control and let go of what you can’t,” she says.&nbsp;



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Michelle says that as the daughter of Indian immigrants, she originally seemed destined to end up in one of the career paths her parents expected her to go into: doctor, lawyer or investment banker.

Michelle says that as the daughter of Indian immigrants, she originally seemed destined to end up in one of the career paths her parents expected her to go into: doctor, lawyer or investment banker. | SUCCESS

Rule Breaker's Empowerment: Following & Breaking on Your Terms

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/SUCCESS_Stories_Pod_Michelle_Cordeiro_Grant_Scom_Thumbnail_8_9_21.jpg

Beyond Gold: What Happens After You Achieve Your Biggest Goal?

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Elevate your lifestyle for success and happiness

If your definition of success involves pushing yourself to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-steps-to-achieve-any-goal/">achieve a goal</a>, there’s no one more successful than Olympic Gold medalists.&nbsp;



Every two years, we watch their victories replayed on highlight reels, forever freezing them at their athletic peak. But in the meantime, they’ve had to find out where to go after reaching the top.



Gymnast Carly Patterson was just 16 when her dazzling performance at the 2004 Athens Olympics made her the second American woman ever to win the all-around competition. She’s in the gymnastics Hall of Fame and even <a href="https://usagym.org/pages/gymnastics101/skillsNamed.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">has a dismount named after her</a>.



After retiring from gymnastics at 18, Patterson released an album, aptly named <a href="https://amzn.to/372Qghp" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Back to the Beginning</a>. She also co-wrote a memoir, <a href="https://amzn.to/3l3b3d8" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Carly Patterson: Be Strong</a>, to inspire kids.



It all feels like a long time ago for Carly, who now balances a speaking career with raising three young children.



“I've been out of gymnastics longer than I was in it; I've lived a whole other life,” she says.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/learning-olympic-lessons-with-carly-patterson-cald/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Learning Olympic Lessons with Carly Patterson Caldwell"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall talks to Carly about choosing hard work over teenage kicks, what happens when you retire from the sport that has defined you at age 18, and how her Olympian competitiveness still serves her.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-hardest-times-in-your-life-are-when-you-grow-the-most">The hardest times in your life are when you grow the most.</h2>



The months leading up to the Olympics were pivotal for Carly. The newfound independence that comes with turning 16 made spending all her time in the gym less appealing than ever—right when she most needed to focus.



Carly had a decision to make. She could commit to working harder than she ever had on her gymnastic for the next six months and possibly place in a medal position at the Olympics. Or she would spend that time hanging out with her friends.&nbsp;



As we know, Carly chose the former. It was grueling, especially on days when training didn’t go well. Only in hindsight does she understand that those <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-essential-truths-the-tough-mudder-taught-me-about-overcoming-obstacles/">toughest days taught the most</a>.



This lesson stuck with her after she hung up her leotard.&nbsp;



Carly and her husband struggled to conceive, which was emotionally draining. Every negative pregnancy test was another gut punch. Now that she has three children, Carly says she understands how that experience ultimately helped her grow as a person, and strengthened her marriage and her faith.&nbsp;



Being a mom has its hard days too. Now, when she struggles to picture a life that isn’t filled with dirty diapers, tantrums and no sleep, Carly reminds herself that one day, the kids won’t need her as much, and she’ll miss this time with them. There’s always something to be learned from your hardest days if you can <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Asuccess.com%3A+keep+going&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS942US944&amp;oq=site%3Asuccess.com%3A+keep+going&amp;aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.2602j0j4&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8">just keep going</a>.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-accomplishing-your-goals-is-a-double-edged-sword">Accomplishing your goals is a double-edged sword.</h2>



When Carly won gold at the Olympics, she was also the U.S. National Champion and the World Gymnastics Champion. That final gold medal meant she had achieved all of her goals.



That sounds great. But it also meant that after years of being completely focused and disciplined, she had nothing to strive for. She was also physically spent. At 18, following medical advice, she retired.



After building her life around regimes laid out for her by trainers and coaching staff, Carly had to start making decisions for herself. This ranged from the basic—what did she want to eat, when did she want to sleep, what did she want to do in her spare time—to the existential. Now that gymnastics were over, what came next?



Being publicly known added another dynamic. The surge of attention that followed Carly’s Olympic success faded once she stopped competing. Yet when she tried a new path following her dad into music, some members of the public refused to accept her new career.&nbsp;



Winning gold was the end of one chapter of Carly’s life, but in some ways, it made figuring out the next one even harder. Ticking off your last great goal feels incredible at the time, but it comes with unforeseen curveballs.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-competition-is-a-constant">Competition is a constant.</h2>



Olympic athletes are probably more competitive than the rest of us—at least until the Monopoly board comes out. And Carly says that the lessons she learned from competing on a world stage have continued to serve her, reminding her of the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/winning-the-war-against-complacency/">dangers of complacency</a>.



Whatever your goals are, there is always someone else who wants them too, who might be more talented and better prepared than you are. If you truly want something, you can’t afford to let your guard down.



Carly says that the most significant lesson she took away from the Olympics was that the one thing you can’t skip if you want to win is hard work.&nbsp;



“Always keep yourself on your toes. Always work hard. Always know that there's someone that wants it just as bad as you do, who’s ready and willing to do the work if you don't want to,” she says.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-know-when-to-take-the-pressure-off-yourself">Know when to take the pressure off yourself.</h2>



You don’t need to treat every aspect of your life like an Olympic event.



After retiring from gymnastics and going into music, Carly felt internal and external pressure to repeat the same level of success. She wanted to disprove the naysayers who thought she couldn’t be good at something other than gymnastics. She also wanted to live up to the world-class standard she had achieved in her sport.



However, she slowly started to realize that although she loved music, she didn’t want to make it her career. Once she’d accepted this, she was able to let go of the pressure.&nbsp;



“It was like a weight lifted and I could breathe again,” she says.



Having a goal and doing everything you can to achieve it is commendable, and there will be times when you need to push yourself. But you also <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Asuccess.com%3A+balance&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS942US944&amp;oq=site%3Asuccess.com%3A+balance&amp;aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.3329j0j4&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8">need to balance</a> that by letting yourself relax and just enjoy yourself in areas that don’t have to be so high stakes.



SUCCESS Stories with Madison Pieper is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

After building her life around regimes laid out for her by trainers and coaching staff, Olympic Gold Medalist Carly Patterson had to start making decisions for herself.

After building her life around regimes laid out for her by trainers and coaching staff, Olympic Gold Medalist Carly Patterson had to start making decisions for herself. | SUCCESS

Beyond-Gold-What-Happens-After-You-Achieve-Your-Biggest-Goal

Beyond Gold: What Happens After You Achieve Your Biggest Goal? | SUCCESS

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Crush Your Second Act: Why—And How—to Embrace Your Later Years

If your birthday plans have transitioned from dancing until 4 a.m. to sobbing over finding yet another gray hair, you don’t need a time machine; you need an attitude adjustment.



When former editor of GQ and publishing powerhouse Michael Clinton was 40, he realized that thanks to modern medicine, he probably had decades left to live. Instead of treating the second half of his life as an ending, he decided to treat it as exactly what it is: more life.



Michael’s response to this revelation was to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and become a pilot. He also interviewed 40 people about their own mid-life pivots and wrote their responses into a book: <a href="https://amzn.to/3hDm95e" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">ROAR: Into the Second Half of Your Life (Before it's Too Late)</a>.&nbsp;



Even if aviation and mountaineering aren’t on your to-do list, Michael has lots of advice for making your second act at least as good as the first.



“Fifty is not the new 40; 50 is the new 50,” Michael says. “Let's embrace it and do what we want to do.”



In this episode of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Michael tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why we have aging all wrong, how to add layers that lift your life, and why and how to dump friends you no longer connect with.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/roaring-into-retirement-with-michael-clinton/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Roaring into Later Life with Michael Clinton"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-layer-your-life">Layer your life.</h2>



If you feel like your life isn’t as rich and fulfilling as you’d like, add more layers. Michael knows that’s probably the opposite of what people who are already busy want to hear, but you can make it work.



Start with one thing that you’ve always wanted to do and build it into your life. For example:



<ul>
<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/43-ways-to-improve-yourself-in-just-10-minutes/">Learning a new language</a></li>



<li>Volunteering with a nonprofit close to your heart</li>



<li>Taking water skiing lessons</li>
</ul>



Look at your metaphorical back burner: what have you left there to get burnt, which you always wanted to prioritize but never did? It’s time to bring it front of mind.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-rewire-the-way-you-think-about-aging">Rewire the way you think about aging.</h2>



There’s a reason <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/509679/value-of-the-global-anti-aging-market/">we collectively spend billions</a> on wrinkle creams and Botox every year. Getting older has been sold to us as a tragedy of diminishing capacities and increasing indignities. Announcing your retirement is commonly treated as an acceptance of imminent death.



Stop believing these lies. Banish the phrase, “I’m too old for…” from your vocabulary. And while you’re at it, replace the word “retire” with “rewire,” Michael says.



One of the hardest aspects of ending a career is losing the structure that naturally comes with having a job. Rather than focusing on that loss, give yourself a new structure based on those life layers you want to add. For example:&nbsp;



<ul>
<li>Commit to an hour of Spanish a day</li>



<li>Schedule three regular volunteer sessions a week</li>



<li>Sign up for a water skiing course</li>
</ul>



Instead of seeing the end of your career and the later years of your life as a finale, embrace them as a new phase. That time is full of potential for you to learn and do new things you haven’t had time for yet.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-confront-the-past-so-you-can-move-on">Confront the past so you can move on.</h2>



No one puts a few decades behind them without making mistakes. That doesn’t mean you have to stew on them forever.



To fully embrace the next phase of your life, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-break-the-pattern-of-dwelling-on-past-mistakes/">let go of regrets and grudges</a>.&nbsp;



Maybe you didn’t get a job you wanted. Maybe someone you thought was your soulmate dumped you. Maybe you made a poor decision. All of those things are unfortunate, but carrying them around with you weighs you down.



Speaking of your past, there are a few things you need to own (the “O” in ROAR) in order to get your fresh start.



<ol>
<li>Your background: Whether the spoon in your mouth when you were born was plastic or silver, accept that background as part of who you are.</li>



<li>Your health and financial situation: Get an honest assessment of how your physical and financial assets are doing, so you can make realistic plans for the next phase of your life.</li>



<li>Your goals: Knowing clearly what you want to do will help you lay out practical steps to get there.</li>



<li>Your death: Sorry to be a downer. But owning the fact of your own death means preparing for it for the sake of those you’ll leave behind, and will push you to reach for what you really want while you still can.</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-audit-your-relationships">Audit your relationships.</h2>



Part of reassessing how you currently feel about your life so you can move forward is looking at your relationships. You could be with the wrong partner, but you could also be with the wrong friends.



Breaking off a friendship is often harder than breaking off a romance. Although the latter has inspired poetry, movies, books and songs for centuries, calling it quits with a friend is almost taboo.



Be brutally honest. If someone in your life has become a source of stress, let them go. But don’t ghost them, Michael says. They deserve an explanation.



Try to tailor it to their personality. If you know they can take—and would prefer—directness, make it short and sharp. If you know they tend to be more sensitive, be gentle with them. If the friendship is beyond repair, you’re probably doing both of you a favor in the long term.



A popular truism has it that youth is wasted on the young. Don’t waste your later years too.



SUCCESS Stories is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

If your birthday plans have transitioned from dancing until 4 a.m. to sobbing over finding yet another gray hair, you don’t need a time machine; you need

If your birthday plans have transitioned from dancing until 4 a.m. to sobbing over finding yet another gray hair, you don’t need a time machine; you need | SUCCESS

Crush Your Second Act: Why—And How—to Embrace Your Later Years | SUCCESS

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5 Tips for Dealing with the Reality of Your Dream Job

<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-and-why-to-reconnect-with-your-inner-dreamer/">Following your dream</a> sounds like a fairy tale. But the road to happily ever after never did run smooth.



Fashion designer Rebecca Minkoff’s Cinderella story started not with a glass slipper but with a dress. After her mom—the fairy godmother in this story—taught her how to make a dress she’d seen and desperately wanted, Rebecca knew fashion design was her path.



It wasn’t easy. She was forced to pivot early on, and the competitiveness in the industry—even between women—was suffocating.



Today, in addition to her famous fashion brand, Rebecca hosts the podcast <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/superwomen-with-rebecca-minkoff/id1426026971?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Superwomen with Rebecca Minkoff</a>, and has released her first book: <a href="https://amzn.to/3gNaj9g" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Fearless: The New Rules for Unlocking Creativity, Courage, and Success</a>.



“We all have fear, and a lot of us let it stop us,” she says. “How do we adopt new rules and new ways of behaving that allow us to say, ‘I'm scared, but I'm gonna do it anyway.’”



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/fearless-in-business-with-rebecca-minkoff/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Fearless in Business with Rebecca Minkoff"></iframe>



In this episode of <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=success+stories+with+kindra+hall+apple&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS942US944&amp;sxsrf=ALeKk01DoUI-28WKBmjYahpGIcuVmbX8Fw%3A1624352544731&amp;ei=IKfRYNL4K-iD9u8PsL6WmAo&amp;oq=success+stories+with+kindra+hall+apple&amp;gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAM6BwgAEEcQsAM6BAgAEB5QniBYly1giS5oAXACeACAAbUBiAGnEZIBBDAuMTeYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6yAEIwAEB&amp;sclient=gws-wiz&amp;ved=0ahUKEwjSiKzj8KrxAhXogf0HHTCfBaMQ4dUDCA4&amp;uact=5" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SUCCESS Stories</a>, Rebecca tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall about what it really means to be fearless, the kinds of questions people should be asking industry leaders, and her unexpected strategy for dealing with burnout (hint: it’s not a scented candle.)



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-being-fearless-doesn-t-mean-never-being-afraid">Being fearless doesn’t mean never being afraid.</h2>



You can’t stop yourself from feeling scared sometimes—and you don’t need to. Fear is your brain’s way of warning you about a potential threat. For our ancestors, that meant predators and disease. Today, we feel a similar emotion when we’re approaching our boss for a raise or making a risky business decision.



In these cases, instead of trying to not feel afraid—or feeling guilty when you do—learn to accept the fear and do what you need to do despite its lingering presence.&nbsp;



<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-truths-about-taking-and-not-taking-risks/">Taking scary risks</a> gets harder as you get older and have more responsibilities. If you’re relying on your salary to pay your bills, analyze your situation honestly and plan ahead. Be prepared to spend all your spare time on your side project. Make sure it has real potential to make money, and that there’s a market. Wait to see returns on your investment before you switch to it full time. Being fearless doesn’t mean being reckless.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-know-when-to-pivot">Know when to pivot.</h2>



Four years into Rebecca’s first apparel collection, she realized it wasn’t making any money. However, her first bag (known as the Morning After Bag or M.A.B.) became an instant hit.&nbsp;



Instead of doubling down on the apparel line, Rebecca let the market lead her. She closed down the clothing side and focused on becoming a bag designer.



“I didn't give up: we had to pivot to the thing that was going to pay the bills, and show us the greatest leap forward as a company,” Rebecca says. Pivoting means understanding where you’re most successful, even if it’s not where you originally expected and capitalizing on that momentum. Don’t be too stubborn to learn from your customers.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-support-your-rivals">Support your rivals.</h2>



As anyone who has ever played or been banned from Monopoly knows, everyone gets competitive. But instead of letting that instinct lead you into a stop-at-nothing war with your rivals, it benefits you to work together against shared obstacles.



For example, Rebecca observed two unique problems facing women working in fashion:



<ol>
<li>Many women with power were reluctant to help other women, and actively worked against them if it meant further advancement.</li>



<li>There were still glass ceilings preventing women from reaching certain high-level positions.</li>
</ol>



Rebecca realized that women could overcome these issues if they put their competitiveness to the side and supported each other. She founded the <a href="https://www.femalefoundercollective.com/">Female Founder Collective</a> to encourage that collaboration.



When you feel competitiveness surging, reach out to the person who has you feeling threatened, and see how you can work together to a mutually beneficial goal. This not only helps you, it also sets a good example for everyone else and promotes a kinder industry.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-be-specific-when-you-ask-for-advice">Be specific when you ask for advice.</h2>



Resources like LinkedIn have made it easier than ever to ask people at the top of your industry for help. When you reach out, make your questions as specific as possible.&nbsp;



Vague questions are difficult to answer concisely, and indicate that you haven’t bothered to do the minimum amount of research. For example, avoid questions like:



<ul>
<li>“Can we get coffee?”</li>



<li>“What should I do with my career?”</li>



<li>“How do I get started?”</li>
</ul>



Instead, focus on specifics. For example, in the fashion industry, Rebecca recommends asking things like:



<ul>
<li>“How do I get my sample mass produced?”</li>



<li>“Which store should I approach with my collection?”</li>



<li>“Can you introduce me to an angel investor?”</li>
</ul>



These prove that you have a basic knowledge of the industry, and can be answered in a few sentences or bullet points. You’re more likely to get a response, which could be a one-off or the start of a relationship.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-if-you-re-feeling-burned-out-it-s-your-work-that-needs-to-change">If you’re feeling burned out, it’s your work that needs to change.</h2>



Face masks and scented candles have their place. But no matter how clean your pores are, or how much your house smells like a field of lavender, if you hate your job, you will still feel worn thin.



Instead of addressing the symptoms of burnout—stress, tiredness, irritability, crying in the office bathroom every Monday—tackle the cause: work.&nbsp;



<ul>
<li>Look for things in your job that you enjoy. Most people can’t spontaneously quit a job they hate. Instead, look for the aspects you like. Maybe that’s the people you work with, or connecting with customers, or decorating the store window. Focus on those, and try to develop those parts of your job as much as possible.</li>



<li>Find joy outside work. If your job is leaving you burned out, find something else you’re passionate about that you can do on the side. It might be volunteering, a hobby or a side job. Feeling fulfilled in that aspect of your life will make it easier to cope when your main job is dragging you down.</li>
</ul>



People often think that working less is the solution to burnout: but making your work and your life fulfilling will help sustain you better than a facial come Monday morning.



SUCCESS Stories is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Following your dream sounds like a fairy tale. But the road to happily ever after never did run smooth.

Following your dream sounds like a fairy tale. But the road to happily ever after never did run smooth. | SUCCESS

5 Tips for Dealing with the Reality of Your Dream Job | SUCCESS

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I’m Speaking: Communication Tools to Help Women Reclaim Their Power in Conversations

Being talked over, ignored or misunderstood is frustrating, isolating and downright infuriating. Especially when you suspect it’s because you’re a woman. Yet there are so many ways in which women subconsciously minimize themselves in conversations.



Eliza VanCort only learned to fully appreciate the techniques that go into strong communication when she had to relearn them after experiencing a traumatic brain injury.&nbsp;



“I lost my ability to communicate, and I had to build it back, brick by brick,” Eliza says. “That was difficult but also incredibly enlightening. When I was done, I thought, Wow, I've cracked the code of communication.”



Her book, <a href="https://amzn.to/2Ra4KaT" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space</a>, explains how and why so many women resort to communication techniques that minimize their opportunity to speak, and how to reclaim that power.



In this episode of SUCCESS Stories, Eliza tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall about the negative messages that affect the ways girls communicate from a young age, how women can reprogram the way they speak to maximize control over their communications, and how men can support them in those efforts.



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/claiming-your-space-with-eliza-vancort/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Claiming Your Space with Eliza VanCort"></iframe>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-girls-change-the-way-they-talk-to-meet-society-s-expectations">Girls change the way they talk to meet society’s expectations.</h2>



Society’s definition of what makes a girl successful changes when she hits puberty. As young children, girls are judged on what they do, what they say and what they’re good at—the same as children of all genders. But starting at puberty, society dictates that the most important measure of a girl’s success is what she looks like.&nbsp;



Teenage girls are aware of this, even if it’s subconscious. They shift their personalities to match these new expectations. They stop claiming space in conversations, sports teams and academic settings. They stay quiet when they would normally speak up, or pretend to be less funny and less smart so the boys around them can seem more accomplished.



This self-shrinking continues into adulthood, professionally and personally. For example, if someone makes a sexist joke to a woman’s face, she’ll often laugh it off rather than call them out. Or in the boardroom, if a man interrupts a woman or tries to condescendingly explain a familiar concept to her (i.e., mansplaining), she might choose to let it slide rather than challenging him. A message picked up in childhood can have lifelong effects.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-change-the-way-you-communicate-to-command-more-respect">Change the way you communicate to command more respect.</h2>



Once you understand the ways you’ve been shrinking and molding yourself to fit society’s expectations, you can retrain yourself to reclaim your right to conversational space. For example:



<ul>
<li>Question sexism. If a man makes a sexist comment, ask “What do you mean by that?” This puts the onus on him to examine what he said, explain it to you and anyone else there, and hopefully realize that it was sexist and disrespectful—all without escalating to an argument.</li>



<li>Use silence. Because women are typically interrupted more than men, they feel under pressure to avoid pausing, which might give someone else the opportunity to jump in before they’ve finished.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>



“Silence is a power move,” Eliza says. Taking a short pause while you’re speaking—while maintaining eye contact—proves that you are in control of the conversation and claiming your space within it.&nbsp;



<ul>
<li>Speak quietly. Lowering the volume of your voice sounds like it should make you seem timid: but it shows your audience that you are leading the conversation. Start out at a slightly higher-than-normal volume, and choose moments when you lower your voice. Your listener will have to lean in to hear you, and give you extra attention. Shifting to a quieter volume has the added bonus of adding a level of intimacy, as though you’re sharing a secret.</li>



<li>Slow down: If a man and a woman are trying to make the same point, their audience will subconsciously require her to bring more evidence than him before they buy into what she’s saying. But women don’t get more time to lay out this extra evidence—and often mens’ interruption habits mean women get less time to talk. That’s why women tend to talk faster, especially when under pressure. Choosing moments in which you deliberately slow down your speech proves you won’t be rushed through making your point.</li>
</ul>



Unlearning communication techniques you’ve been using your whole life takes practice. Incorporate these new methods into everyday conversations, so when you have a big event like a presentation, public speech or important meeting, they feel more natural. And don’t beat yourself up if you slip up a few times: it’s hard to unlearn, but you can get there.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-men-need-to-use-their-voices-to-support-women">Men need to use their voices to support women.</h2>



Many men want to actively challenge the societal pressures that shut women down in conversations. But when you’ve never been a woman, it’s hard to understand the ways women are told to stop taking up space. Men can help support women’s right to express themselves at work and home by:



<ul>
<li>Believing women. If a woman tells you that something you’ve said or done has made her uncomfortable, instead of immediately getting defensive or being dismissive, apologize and seek to learn and grow from the experience.</li>



<li>Stopping interruptions or mansplaining. Look for incidents when women are being interrupted or mansplained to, and call out the men. Don’t repeat what the woman said, even if you credit her: this looks like you think your voice carries more weight than hers. Instead, say something like “I think Alice made a great point and I agree with everything she said,” or “I think Alice had more to say about this: please finish your thought, Alice.”&nbsp;</li>



<li>Understanding that your voice holds sway. People from a privileged group—whether that’s regarding gender, race or even attractiveness—are more likely to believe other people from that group. A man is more likely to believe another man over a woman. So if a man calls out another man for saying or doing something sexist, that other man is more likely to believe that his actions really were wrong. It’s frustrating, but it also reiterates why men need to get involved when they see sexist behavior.</li>
</ul>



SUCCESS Stories is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.

Being talked over, ignored or misunderstood is frustrating, isolating and downright infuriating. Especially when you suspect it’s because you’re a woman.

Being talked over, ignored or misunderstood is frustrating, isolating and downright infuriating. Especially when you suspect it’s because you’re a woman. | SUCCESS

Empowering Women's Communication: Tools for Reclaiming Powe

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