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<p>Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly telling stories in your own head. Self-stories: Stories you tell <em>about yourself.</em> Some are good, some are bad. All of them have a powerful effect on you, even if you’re unaware of them.</p>



<p>As a storytelling expert, I believe that you can change the story of your life by <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-everyday-ways-to-practice-positive-self-talk/">changing the voice in your head</a>, that changing the way you are on the <em>inside</em> can change your results on the <em>outside</em>.</p>



<p>Some of the most obvious examples I have come across in research and interviews are the stories we tell ourselves about money. Our shared belief in the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-complete-guide-to-money-how-to-create-wealth/">value of money</a> is one of the oldest, most powerful and arguably most important stories in human history. But money isn’t just the ultimate story. It’s also the most heavily loaded story.</p>



<p>You’ve heard stories about money your whole life. You’ve accepted that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or that “money is the root of all evil,” or that “a light purse is a heavy curse.” Maybe you have warned your insistent teenager through clenched teeth that you, in fact, are not made of money or that “all that glitters is not gold.”</p>



<p>Regardless of the words you use, by now you can see these sentences for what they are: iceberg statements pointing to the enormous, hidden money story beneath the surface of our awareness. And those examples are only the universal statements. The personalized versions are far more varied and even more powerful:</p>



<p>“I am bad with money.”</p>



<p>“I’ll never be rich.”</p>



<p>“I can’t afford nice things.”</p>



<p>“Money is scarce.”</p>



<p>“Money’s not my thing.”</p>



<p>“I like to live for the moment, not save for a rainy day.”</p>



<p>“I need a job with a steady paycheck.”</p>



<p>“I always struggle to pay my bills.”</p>



<p>When it comes to money stories, there is no shortage. Yet, for all their abundance, like most of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, our money stories often remain undetected and allowed to run rampant through our lives.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-4-money-stories-you-should-evaluate"><strong>The 4 Money Stories You Should Evaluate </strong></h2>



<p>Most, if not all, of us have anxious moments concerning money. No matter what our income, we all have some variation on four basic money stories.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">1. <strong>How much you have</strong></h3>



<p>I have a friend who is a saver. I don’t mean she is able to tuck a little aside for a rainy day. I mean she has seven figures in a savings account. Although many people would find a deep sense of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/want-financial-security-prepare-for-the-worst/">financial security</a> in that level of wealth, my friend agonizes over it. She tells herself she should invest it, that inflation is eating away at it, that she’s missing out on a chance to grow her wealth in any meaningful way. And so she walks around constantly afraid of her own money.</p>



<p>For my friend, taking a look at this particular aspect of her money might reveal stories from her childhood—what her parents valued. There are probably some stories in there about liquidity. Some stories in there about using money to make more money. About the “right” way to “do” money. It is highly likely that these stories are so big they keep her frozen in place. Instead of calling a financial adviser or calling a real estate agent who specializes in investment properties, she does nothing, and therefore, nothing changes.</p>



<p>Keep in mind that because money is just a really big story, it is also entirely relative. Someone who secured the first salaried position in their family’s history at $25,000 could see their story as just as good or better than the story of somebody who makes $250,000 but whose friends make millions. If you’re struggling with money, examining the stories that fuel your understanding of how much you have is an important place to start.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>2. How much you need</strong></h3>



<p>I have another friend who, from the outside, appears to have everything professionally. He has a good job, he makes a good salary and is good at the work he does. But there’s a lot about the job he doesn’t love. He feels he has so much capacity that will never be recognized at the company.</p>



<p>The question is, then, why doesn’t he leave? He has explored other options, but every time he talks with a company that values his big-idea capabilities, it’s a startup with limited funds. He would have to take a pay cut to leave his big corporate job.</p>



<p>The next logical question anyone might ask is: Would it be worth it? Sure, it’s less pay, but it’s also less agony and potentially more joy and fulfillment. The answer, for him, is no. He needs more money. Why? Because he earns less than his dad.</p>



<p>Now, I won’t go into the depths of his story with his father. That’s not my story to tell, and, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure he realizes it’s there. But the thing for you to understand is that it’s a money story. The roots of his behavior are buried deep in a story that really has nothing to do with how much money he needs to run his life. It’s a story about the money he needs to feel worthy.</p>



<p>How much is enough? And if you have what you need, then why are you anxious?</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>3. Where money comes from</strong></h3>



<p>I was talking to a man whose work situation is in flux. He is faced with the prospect of having to move to a new city to keep his job. He doesn’t want to. He’s happy where he is. He has a home, a life.</p>



<p>“But,” he says, “I can’t leave the job. The money’s too good. I’ll never make that money anywhere else.”</p>



<p>His belief is that the money he’s accustomed to can only come from one source: his current job. But where does his money really come from? Is it from the company he works for, or does it come from his experience and ability? Is it from outside or inside?</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>4. How money should be used </strong></h3>



<p>Imagine two people. Their financial situation, for the purpose of this example, is identical. They have the same amount of debt, the same amount of income and the same set of standard expenses</p>



<p>Person A decides to hire someone to come and clean their home on a weekly basis. It costs $100 a week. Person A’s logic is that this frees up a significant amount of their time that used to be spent on cleaning but can instead now be spent on other things—work, exercise or free time with the family.</p>



<p>Person B has heard that Person A hired someone to clean their house once a week but has no interest in doing so. Person B is perfectly capable of keeping the house tidy on their own and, in fact, enjoys doing so. Person B would much rather keep that $100 than spend it on something they can do for free.</p>



<p>Both people feel they’re using their money wisely, and they both think they’re saving money, but which one of them is right?</p>



<p>They both are, provided their stories serve them.</p>



<p>This is a big one. This is the one that can come between friends and tear apart marriages.</p>



<p>The only way to keep these stories from stomping through your life like Godzilla in a fit of fiery destruction is to analyze them—to take a good look below the surface and figure out where the stories come from and why they are there.</p>



<p>Money stories are some of the most difficult to pin down, but you can dig into them with the same questions you use to analyze any story:</p>



<p>Where did this story come from?</p>



<ul>
<li><em>Is this story true?</em></li>



<li><em>Why is the story there?</em></li>



<li><em>What price do I pay for this story?</em></li>



<li><em>Does this story serve me?</em></li>



<li><em>Where am I in this story?</em></li>
</ul>



<p>When it comes to money stories, it’s important to approach this part of the process with a sense of curiosity rather than from a place of judgment. Seek to understand. There’s no “right” money story. There are only stories—some of which serve you and some of which don’t. </p>



<p style="font-size:12px"><em>Taken from </em>Choose Your Story, Change Your Life<em>&nbsp; by Kindra Hall. Copyright ©2022 by Kindra Hall. Used by permission of HarperCollins Leadership. www.harpercollinsleadership.com.</em></p>



<p style="font-size:12px"><em>This article originally appeared in the January/February 2022 Issue of </em>SUCCESS<em> magazine. Photo by ©Kara Nixon Photography</em></p>

gardless of the words you use, by now you can see these sentences for what they are: iceberg statements pointing to the enormous, hidden money story beneath the surface of our awareness.

gardless of the words you use, by now you can see these sentences for what they are: iceberg statements pointing to the enormous, hidden money story beneath the surface of our awareness. | SUCCESS

The Way You Talk About Money Matters—Here's How to Change the Narrative

The Way You Talk About Money Matters—Here&#8217;s How to Change the Narrative

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Changing the Money Narrative: The Power of Languag

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Kindra Hall is the bestselling author of Stories That Stick and a sought-after keynote speaker. She is the president of Steller Collective, a marketing agency focused on the power of storytelling to overcome communication challenges.

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Kindra Hall

The Stories We Tell Ourselves Are the Most Important—What Do Yours Say?

Personal Development

Personal Development Archives

Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

<p>Last summer we rented a pontoon boat.</p>



<p>We were visiting my home state and decided that spending the day on one of the 10,000 lakes, taking in the fresh air and sun, was the most Minnesota way to spend our time.</p>



<p>Two of my best friends from college and their families met us at the dock with coolers filled with sandwiches, chips, sliced watermelon and Twizzlers. We buckled the kids into their life jackets and pontooned away searching for the best coves to drop anchor and swim around. It was a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/my-golden-days/">perfect day</a>… except for one thing.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I felt disgusting.&nbsp;</p>



<p>For months I had been locked away in my apartment trying to homeschool my two kids while keeping the business I spent years building from collapsing out from under me. My spin studio had, obviously, been shut down and running was getting old. Pizza shops were the first ones to reopen for delivery and we took advantage any time we felt our bank account allowed. We had tubes of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough in our fridge, which we ate with a spoon as a way to pass <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/11-things-to-do-in-self-quarantine-that-are-more-productive-than-netflix/">monotonous evenings at home</a>. And then there was the alcohol.</p>



<p>When it was happening, I dismissed the debauchery by telling myself the story that we were surviving a pandemic—a (hopefully) once-in-a-century situation. It was a story that both gave me permission and quieted my conscience should it ever whisper that maybe I should start <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-ways-to-make-better-decisions/">making better choices</a>.</p>



<p>And then there I was, sitting on a boat faced with the sum of my choices. It all added up to a feeling of utter disgust. Yes, my swimsuit felt uncomfortable. Even my coverup felt tight, but the discomfort went beyond the extra weight I might have been carrying. The <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-stories-of-which-success-is-truly-made/">stories I’d been telling myself</a> hadn’t only allowed me to eat and be merry with no consideration of the health consequences; the stories also took a mental toll. One by one, they eroded my trust in myself. They taught me that when things get tough—really tough—I don’t get tougher... I give up.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Our day on the boat was perfect <em>except</em> for the way I felt about myself. That feeling eventually became a story and tool for creating change.&nbsp;</p>



<p>When we eventually booked the same boat with the same friends for a year later—why not make it an annual tradition?—I decided I wanted to be a different person the second time around. On the days when I opened the fridge and there was “nothing to eat,” I told myself the Boat Day story and resisted the urge to order pizza from the nearest shop. When I felt the urge to take a bite off the tube of cookie dough or drink an extra glass of champagne, I told myself the Boat Day story and opted for an organic fruit popsicle. When I didn’t feel like <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-create-an-exercise-routine-that-doesnt-suck/">moving my body</a> because the lingering stress of uncertain times made me too tired to move, I told myself the Boat Day story to remind myself that I didn’t want to be weighted by extra pounds or by the heavy feeling that comes with letting yourself down.</p>



<p>All it took was telling myself the Boat Day story and suddenly the healthy choices seemed easier to make and healthy actions seemed easier to take.</p>



<p>One year later, on an overcast July afternoon, we stepped onto the same pontoon boat we had rented one year earlier. The kids were all taller and noticeably older (which was strange because we swore the grown-ups hadn’t aged a minute). We spent the day on the water, soaking up the sun and the time together. And while I’m not exactly sure how much I weighed or how many pounds I’d lost, if any, I am quite certain the boat moved a little faster across the water without my old stories weighing me down.</p>



<p>Every day we have a choice of what stories we tell ourselves. I hope your stories lead to more love and respect for the person you are and pave a path for the person you want to become. </p>



<p style="font-size:12px"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the November/December 2021 Issue of </em>SUCCESS<em> magazine. Photo Credit: taw4/shutterstock.com</em></p>

Past mistakes need only be the prologue to a happier ending.

Past mistakes need only be the prologue to a happier ending. | SUCCESS

The Power of Our Stories: What Do Yours Say?

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How to Write a Book: Advice for New Writers

<p>I’d love to give you a secret formula for how to write a book. The bad news is that there isn’t one. The good news is that this means you get to find one that works for you.</p>



<p>Having written two books now, I can tell you it is as hard as people say it is. I can also tell you I had to find my own way through my writing process.</p>



<p>For example, some people are great at setting aside small amounts of time to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/could-you-write-a-book-in-a-month/">write every day</a>. I tried that approach and ended up in a total mess. Now, I give myself weeks in a row when my only job is to write. It can be lonely, but it works for me.</p>



<p>In this week’s <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/id1528020625" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>SUCCESS Stories</em></a>, I explain my personal approach to writing books. It’s based on my experience writing my first book, <a href="https://amzn.to/3wERbPo" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Stories That Stick</em></a><em>, </em>which is available now, and the upcoming <a href="https://amzn.to/3hABJzN" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Choose Your Story, Change Your Life</em></a>.</p>



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<p>I’ll cover my lengthy outlining process and why it’s worth your time, what gathering ideas looks like for me, and how to build a writing cave in your schedule and your space.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-outlining-may-take-longer-than-writing">Outlining may take longer than writing.</h2>



<p>My outlines start with parts, which are divided into chapters, which are divided into subheads, which are divided into more subheads, which are divided into points.</p>



<p>I always thought that my thorough approach to outlining—to the point that it takes longer than the writing—was an act of procrastination. In fact, I’ve realized that building the strong frame of a clear and detailed outline makes the actual writing so much easier.</p>



<p>Writing a book is like <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-training-for-a-marathon-pushed-me-to-seek-more/">running a marathon</a>. Those first few steps are fresh and exciting, but the further you go, the more tired you get. Suddenly, you’re not sure if you can keep putting one foot in front of the other. Except instead of steps and miles, it’s words and chapters.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Having an outline helps you stay on track. It acts as a series of friendly signposts guiding you towards the finish line, so you aren’t left desperately floundering, losing track of your progress and your point.&nbsp;</p>



<p>To create my outline, I use a system knowable only unto myself that involves scraps of paper, many different colored pens, and files that sometimes get lost. I personally like the feeling of physically putting pen to paper, and of moving paper around until the structure makes sense to me.</p>



<p>Organize your outline in a way that makes sense to you—and thank yourself later.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-constantly-gather-data-points">Constantly gather data points.</h2>



<p>As my ideas and the structure of my outline are percolating in my head, I’m constantly collecting stories and research that will bind my book together. I call this process gathering.</p>



<p>Places where I look for these data points include:</p>



<ul>
<li>Conversations I’ve had and overheard</li>



<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/podcasts/">Podcasts</a> I’ve listened to</li>



<li>Articles I’ve read</li>
</ul>



<p>I also make use of content I’ve already created, such as:</p>



<ul>
<li>Blog posts</li>



<li>Articles</li>



<li>Instagram captions</li>



<li>Videos</li>



<li>Podcast episodes</li>
</ul>



<p>Inspiration is everywhere: the hardest part is recording it right then so you can use it later. My imperfect but functional system for noting the things I’ve gathered involves:</p>



<ul>
<li><strong>Emailing the idea to myself:</strong> I include enough context so I’ll understand it months later. I add labels and tags, e.g. Book 3, so when I’ve finished my outline, and it’s time to write, I have everything relevant in one place in my inbox.</li>



<li><strong>Writing it down on note cards: </strong>This is especially useful when I’m on the go. I personally prefer it to using a notes app. I put all my note cards in a bag and when I’m ready to write, I pour them all out and fit them in the appropriate places in my outline.</li>
</ul>



<p>Even when you aren’t actively working on a book, keep gathering: those stories might be exactly what you need in the future.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-carve-yourself-a-writing-cave">Carve yourself a writing cave.</h2>



<p>Some writers can be productive writing for an hour here and an hour there, but that doesn’t work for me. I have to create a writing cave: time and space devoted entirely to writing.</p>



<p>On the time front, once I have my outline ready, I only need about six weeks for the actual writing. I push to meet my other professional commitments early, and even turn some down, so I can use that entire time just to write.</p>



<p>Carving out space has been trickier, especially during the pandemic, when our house became my office, my husband’s office, and classrooms for our third- and fourth-graders, which is why I have to shout out to our wonderful nanny for her help with virtual school.</p>



<p>My noise-canceling headphones and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/12-confidence-boosting-songs-to-pump-you-up/">Spotify playlist</a> help drown out distractions. I like writing to energetic songs. They distract my ego, which allows me to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/6-ways-to-tap-into-your-creative-self/">tap into my creative self</a>.</p>



<p>Everyone knows that my closed door means Do Not Disturb. But I try to finish at 4 p.m., and set aside lunch on Mondays to see friends.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-set-writing-goals">Set writing goals.</h2>



<p>Now you’re ready to write. I start by getting together all the scraps of paper with my outline and gathering clips on, and cutting and sticking them together onto a long sheet of paper.&nbsp;</p>



<p>This shows me which chapters are fully fleshed out, and which need more information. I start with the ones that have the most detail. This gives me time to gather more on the other chapters.</p>



<p>As extra motivation, I set myself writing goals, based on how many words I want to write by a certain deadline. This gives me a sense of progress and holds me accountable—especially when I post it on social media. Even if no one pays attention, knowing it’s out in public pushes me to live up to my self-imposed standards.</p>



<p>Different writers have different processes, but I find that reading about the writing habits of successful authors helps me—and I hope this helps you.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>SUCCESS Stories </em>is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.</p>

I’d love to give you a secret formula for how to write a book. The bad news is that there isn’t one. The good news is that this means you get to find one that works for you.

I’d love to give you a secret formula for how to write a book. The bad news is that there isn’t one. The good news is that this means you get to find one that works for you. | SUCCESS

How to Write a Book: Advice for New Writers | SUCCESS

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<p>I’m not going to tell you his name, but he was sitting right next to us.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I really want to tell you his name because I just think he’s so amazing and I loved being in such close proximity to greatness. But I’m not going to tell you his name because I know he would rather it be that way—rather not have his name in a national magazine, rather not have more attention drawn to him for something other than his work.&nbsp;</p>



<p>But he is a very famous, excessively talented actor. He is also a very private one. No social media. No desire to expand the glow of the limelight beyond his work on the screen.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And there he was, sitting just a few feet away from me and my husband Michael on a recent vacation to Miami, enjoying breakfast with a friend.</p>



<p>It was all I could do to keep myself from approaching him and thanking him for his work. I knew a photo was completely out of the question, and even stolen glances in his direction seemed a violation of his personal space. Instead, I sat and enjoyed catching wisps of his distinctive voice over the clinking of breakfast forks and chattering of fellow vacationers (all of whom were either oblivious or exercising extreme amounts of self-control like me).</p>



<p>The encounter <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/at-a-loss-for-words-10-ways-to-master-the-art-of-small-talk/">sparked an interesting conversation</a> between Michael and myself as we sat, perhaps a little longer than usual, at the coffee bar that morning. Michael loosely quoted Jerry Seinfeld who said something about fame and how, when a fan comes up to greet you or meet you or thank you, that’s one of the beautiful parts, or at least a required part of the job. Essentially stating it comes with the territory. “But does it?” I challenged the sentiment. Why does the gift of acting come with a requirement to embrace fame?</p>



<p>On a bigger scale, this is a question each of us can ask ourselves about the rules within our own lives. There will be people who will tell you in order to be successful, you have to work all day, everyday. There will be people who will make you believe that because you are a mother, you should enjoy certain tasks or as a father, you are required to do certain tasks. You don’t have to be famous to encounter the “it comes with the territory” conundrum.&nbsp;</p>



<p>The truth is: YOU get to design your life. You get to keep and leave out what feels right for you and what doesn’t. It can be <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-get-comfortable-being-uncomfortable/">confusing and uncomfortable</a>—because breaking the mold and choosing a path that works for you can appear at first to be wrong or cavalier or irresponsible or rude. But none of that matters. I do not like this actor less, but rather I respect him more because I know how hard it is to simply be yourself.</p>



<p>By the afternoon, Page Six had posted images of the actor at the beach, mentioning the gaggle of onlookers surrounding him. The next morning there was a man with a camera precariously perched in the lobby. I didn’t see the actor again. I wasn’t surprised. He was good at disappearing.</p>



<p>I had seen him do it once before, years ago, shooting a scene in New York City. I remember, once the scene was done and the crew dispersed, watching him say his goodbyes, zip up his coat, and disappear down the subway stairs to catch the 6 train downtown.</p>



<p><em>Someone is sitting next to greatness right now, I thought. And they probably don’t even know it.</em></p>



<p>Which was exactly by design. </p>



<p style="font-size:10px"><em>This article originally appeared in the July/August 2021 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by Viktoriia Hnatiuk/Shutterstock</em></p>

A chance encounter highlights the brilliance of life by design.

A chance encounter highlights the brilliance of life by design. | SUCCESS

Designing Your Life Begins with a Choice

Designing Your Life Begins with a Choice | SUCCESS

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Everyone Has a Story—Here’s How to Make Yours Resonate

Business &amp; Branding

Business &amp; Branding Archives

Stay ahead in business: strategies and insights for success

<p>Storytelling is the oldest art form we have. Before humans were painting on cave walls and sharpening sticks into spears, we were sharing our experiences of the world. It’s how we kept each other safe and connected emotionally.</p>



<p>Everyone has been through life events, big and small, that other people would benefit from hearing about. And everyone can learn to transform these seemingly disparate moments into carefully crafted stories.</p>



<p>I’ve been committed to helping people with this challenge. In my books <a href="https://amzn.to/2SkzLcG"><em>Stories That Stick</em></a><em> </em>and the upcoming <a href="https://amzn.to/2TJRDhz"><em>Choose Your Story, Change Your Life</em></a>, I explain how and why individuals and brands can use stories to better communicate their messages.</p>



<p>Sharing your stories is not an arrogant thing to do. Either you are sharing new information and expanding the minds of those who are listening or you're sharing something familiar—it’s the power of seeing the beauty in our own lives. That's a very generous thing to do.</p>



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<p>In this week’s episode of SUCCESS Stories, we’ll dig into how to find your own story that needs to be told, and how to tell it—even if it’s sad.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-everybody-has-a-story">Everybody has a story.</h2>



<p>A common misconception about storytelling is that every story has to be wrestled-a-bear/found-hidden-treasure/became-a-spy levels of exciting. In reality, everyone has stories to tell. They don’t need to sound like Oscar-worthy dramas to be interesting or inspiring to an audience.</p>



<p>The reason it’s hard to find stories in your own life is because we see our lives as one long experience, rather than a series of stories. But all of us have done or gone through something that is not only worth talking about, but also fascinating and helpful to someone else.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Maybe you have or had a really niche hobby, have lived somewhere unusual or have a rare job. Even if you’ve had a fairly uneventful life, stories grounded in common experiences can be some of the most enjoyable. Think about times when you were looking for a job or moving house, or about breakups, weddings, childbirth—even the school run. People like to hear stories they can relate to, and everyone has a slightly different perspective to bring to the table.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Our entire lives are one long story; you just have to find the key moments and retell them your way.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-edit-to-the-moments-that-best-serve-your-message">Edit to the moments that best serve your message.</h2>



<p>Once you’ve chosen which story you want to tell, start editing. Otherwise you’ll end up telling your whole life story in one go, and your audience will be so overwhelmed with information that they’ll stop paying attention.</p>



<p>Focus on two or three key moments within your story. For example, if you’re talking about the time you won a baking competition, you don’t need to include the painstaking process of testing your recipe. Instead, you could focus on the first time your grandma made the cake with you, making the cake by yourself for the competition and finding out that you won.</p>



<p>Narrowing your scope like this means you can dig into the details that will truly engage the audience. For example, think about:</p>



<ul>
<li>Your senses: <em>What can I see, smell, taste, hear and touch?</em></li>



<li><em>How do I feel?</em></li>



<li><em>Do I feel differently when I look back at that moment now?</em></li>



<li><em>Was someone else there? What did they say? How did they feel?</em></li>



<li><em>How did time feel? Did everything happen fast or slow?</em></li>
</ul>



<p>These close-up details leave listeners with a stronger understanding of your message, compared with reeling off a long timeline of events.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-learn-how-to-tell-a-sad-story">Learn how to tell a sad story.</h2>



<p>The most compelling stories are often the ones that elicit the strongest emotions, positive or negative. Which means you may try to tell a story about the most difficult time in your life.</p>



<p>Sharing this kind of story is never easy. But there are ways you can prepare in advance so you’re as ready as you can be when you’re facing an audience.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-ask-yourself-how-you-feel-about-your-role-in-the-story">Ask yourself how you feel about your role in the story.</h3>



<p><strong>&nbsp;</strong>If you’re concerned about coming across as a victim, reflect on how you feel about that time in your life. If you still feel like your main role in the story is<em> </em>that of a victim, that’s likely how you’ll come across. That’s fine if you’re happy with that, but if not, consider waiting and working to get to a place where you’re able to speak as a survivor, rather than solely as a victim.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-remember-whom-the-story-is-for">Remember whom the story is for.</h3>



<p>Sharing our stories can be cathartic: but the real purpose in telling them is to move and inspire our audiences, not ourselves. Reminding yourself of this will help you better tailor your story. For example, instead of describing every single difficult moment, choose a few that typify your experience. You’ll keep that emotional core while making sure you have enough time to wrap up with the uplifting message, which is the whole reason you’re sharing.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-don-t-cry">Don’t cry.</h3>



<p>Even I nearly tear up when sharing certain stories. But crying mid-talk does your audience a disservice. It sabotages the story you’re supposed to be giving to them. To avoid onstage tears, practice telling your story to yourself repeatedly. Then tell it to friends, to see whether you’re ready for an audience. The more times you tell it, the less power it has over you. If you feel yourself getting choked up onstage, stop talking and take a moment to realign your thoughts. Pauses never feel as long to other people as they do to you, and they can help you get back on track with delivering the story your audience needs to hear.</p>



<p><em>SUCCESS Stories </em>is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.</p>

Everyone has been through life events, big and small, that other people would benefit from hearing about.

Everyone has been through life events, big and small, that other people would benefit from hearing about. | SUCCESS

Everyone Has a Story—Here’s How to Make Yours Resonate | SUCCESS

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Success Should Feel Fun: 4 Ways to Stop Racing Ahead and Enjoy the Ride

<p>No one ever said being an entrepreneur was easy. And if they did, they were lying and/or selling something. It comes with long hours, unexpected obstacles, and skeptical friends and relatives.</p>



<p>However, it shouldn’t be completely joyless either. Network marketer and keynote speaker <a href="https://meetemilyford.com/">Emily Vavra Ford</a> spent so much time comparing herself to other people in the early days of building her business that she almost missed the exciting parts. </p>



<p>Emily learned to cherish the progress she was making every day, putting routines in place to remind herself to slow down and appreciate how far she’d come.&nbsp;</p>



<p>“I thought success has to be painful,” she says. “Hustle culture tells us that—when in reality, if you have this harmony in your day, and you let go and remember to breathe, you can enjoy the entire process.”</p>



<iframe src="https://omny.fm/shows/success-stories-with-kindra-hall/elevating-your-vibration-with-emily-vavra/embed?style=artwork" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0" title="Elevating Your Vibration with Emily Vavra"></iframe>



<p>In this episode of <em>SUCCESS Stories</em>, Emily tells Chief Storytelling Officer Kindra Hall why she stopped measuring herself against other people, the morning and night routines that set her up for a good day and how she argues back against imposter syndrome.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-hustling-doesn-t-have-to-hurt">Hustling doesn’t have to hurt.</h2>



<p>Working toward your goals will take blood, sweat and yes, probably tears. Just don’t forget to appreciate the fun parts too.</p>



<p>When you first throw yourself into a project, you expect it to take up a lot of time and energy. You’re probably also looking at the work of people who inspire you, and even your rivals, and letting that little voice in the back of your head compare what you’re doing to their latest success. Spend too long in this world, and you’ll understand why they call it the grind.</p>



<p>Hard work is normal. But being so busy and overwhelmed that you don’t take the time to find value in what you’re doing isn’t healthy or helpful in the long run. Even when you’re in go mode, give yourself time every day to hit pause and note everything you’ve achieved—and what you’re grateful for—before you charge on to the next task on your to-do list.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-find-joy-in-small-things">Find joy in small things.</h2>



<p>Don’t keep all your excitement locked up for when you hit major milestones. When you’re rushing through life with your eyes firmly focused on your task list, deadlines and the big goal at the end of the tunnel, you miss the tiny moments that bring joy every day. It’s these that will sustain you while you’re working toward your most ambitious dreams.</p>



<p>Stop and note as many of these as you can. For example:</p>



<ul>
<li>Coffee isn’t just productivity fuel. Savor your morning cup; that means no checking emails.</li>



<li>Escape the human tendency to rush around by getting out into nature.</li>



<li>Instead of grimacing through your workout, appreciate what your body is capable of.</li>
</ul>



<p>This practice of pausing to acknowledge even the tiny moments in your day that brought you happiness not only helps relieve stress, it makes you more approachable and easier to be around, which benefits your work and home life.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-build-a-routine-that-supports-a-positive-mindset">Build a routine that supports a positive mindset.</h2>



<p>Create routines that set you up to start and end every day on a positive note. In the morning, appeal to whatever makes you feel connected to the biggest goals you have set yourself: for example, through prayer or meditation. Emily says that her friends and her team know she won’t even reply to a text until she’s gone through this ritual first thing.</p>



<p>In the evening, give your future self a helping hand by preparing your work and home environments in advance. Emily is big on cleaning; having a clear space improves her mindset and helps her think more clearly. She does a big sweep of her home before bed so in the morning, she’ll wake up in a clutter-free zone, physically and mentally.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Emily also recommends writing down the three most important tasks you need to get done tomorrow. This will give you focus and helps you look ahead instead of spiralling over things that may have happened earlier in the day.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-remember-there-s-only-one-you">Remember there’s only one you.</h2>



<p>Imposter syndrome wants to tell you that you’ll never measure up to other people in your field. And all too often, so do people with social media accounts and too much time. If you let those voices in, you’ll start comparing yourself to everyone around you, and talk yourself out of pursuing your dreams.</p>



<p>Emily says that when you can feel those cracks emerging in your confidence, remember that no one else can do what you are trying to do because there is only one you. No one else would do this in exactly the same way you are. You are exactly the right person for the job. Shut out the doubters, restate your goal and do it your way.</p>



<p><em>SUCCESS Stories </em>is no longer releasing new episodes on the SUCCESS Podcast Network, but you can still listen to the full conversation below.</p>

No one ever said being an entrepreneur was easy. And if they did, they were lying and/or selling something. It comes with long hours, unexpected

No one ever said being an entrepreneur was easy. And if they did, they were lying and/or selling something. It comes with long hours, unexpected | SUCCESS

Fun Success: 4 Ways to Enjoy the Ride, Not Just Race Ahead

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/SUCCESS_Stories_Pod_Emily_Vavra_Scom_Thumbnail_5_25_21-.jpg

<p>One of my favorite stories my mother ever told me was of when she informed my dad he was going to be a father.</p>
<p>It was a warm night in June, 1980. She had been to the doctor earlier that day and when my father returned home from playing softball with his local league, she was waiting for him in a special pale-green nightgown. She smiled at him as he walked in and said, “Sweetheart, you’re going to be a daddy.” He ran to her (after taking off his cleats) and placed his hand on the pale-green nightgown trying to imagine the baby he would meet in February. (Me!).</p>
<p>It was the most romantic story I’d ever been told and from the moment I heard it, I was determined to replicate it should I ever become a mother. I would secretly discover my pregnancy. I would keep it quiet the whole day and patiently wait for my husband to return from some evening event and then I would tell him. And of course, I would wear a green nightie.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">* * *</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/G_gHkPJ8BFk" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>It was a Monday night in August 2010 and the heat was starting to get to me. I was tired and crabby as my husband Michael and I headed over to a friend’s house to watch the finale of <em>The Bachelorette</em>. After two excruciating hours of listening to Ali say, “I think Chris could really be my husband,” and “I could see Roberto as my husband,” I couldn’t handle it anymore. I didn’t know if it was the nauseating faux-love story or the glass of wine that just didn’t taste quite right, but whatever it was, we left early.</p>
<p>On the way home, I had a thought. <em>What if I am pregnant?</em></p>
<p>As soon as the thought entered my head, I knew I would need proof in order to get it out. Casually, I asked Michael to stop at a drugstore and we walked out with the cheapest pregnancy test (that came with a bonus ovulation stick), a bargain two-pack of generic Windex, and six cans of Miller Lite. I was sure the checkout lady was judging us.</p>
<p>When we got home, Michael settled on the couch, opened a beer, and turned on the remainder of the Ali’s love story with Chris and/or Roberto while I slipped away into the bathroom, took the pregnancy test, and played <em>Tetris</em> on my phone while I waited for the stick to dry. After about two minutes, and three levels, I paused the game to check the test. Two lines.</p>
<p>Of course, when you buy the cheapest pregnancy test, even when it gives you an answer, you’re still not sure what the answer <em>is</em>. I pulled the directions out of the box and <em>apparently</em> two lines means “pregnant.”</p>
<p>As I stood in our tiny starter-home bathroom, now strangely crowded by the two pink lines, I realized I had a bit of a problem. The story I had always dreamed of, the story my mother had told me and I hoped to recreate for myself, was in serious jeopardy. Michael was sitting in the other room, not away with his buddies at a softball game. My test-taking wasn’t secret—he <em>knew</em> I was doing it right then.</p>
<p>And <em>obviously</em>, I didn’t have a green nightgown.</p>
<p>I stood there with my hands on the sink and made up my mind. For the sake of the story, I would lie. When he asked how the test turned out, I would say it was negative and then figure the rest out tomorrow.</p>
<p>“How’d the test go?” he asked as I returned to the living room. I looked at him. I rehearsed what I was supposed to say in my head, <em>“I’m not pregnant.”</em> But instead, it came out the opposite: “I’m pregnant!” I blurted.</p>
<p><em>Shoot!</em> That was not what I was supposed to say!</p>
<p>Michael looked at me. “You can’t joke about that, Kindra.”</p>
<p>“I’m not joking!” <em>Shoot! Why do I keep telling the truth!</em> I am ruining the story! We both stood and marched into the bathroom. We hovered over the counter and stared at those two pink lines—my hands on my hips, his behind his back. Michael pointed out that it didn’t say anything. I explained that’s what happens when you buy the cheap-o tests that come with a free ovulation stick. Worst. Story. Ever.</p>
<p>Michael walked out of the bathroom. I followed. We walked around the house in circles for several minutes until we stopped, on opposite sides of the living room, looking at the other like we had never seen each other before. Strangers. Then I spoke: a line I had been practicing my whole life. “You’re going to be a dad.”</p>
<p>It didn’t sound as sweet as the way my mother said it, and it certainly wasn’t as fashionable without the green nightgown, but Michael smiled, and so <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/sunday-stories/">started a story</a> all our own.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">* * *</p>
<p>If I learned anything from that night (a lesson I’ve been relearning a lot lately), it’s that the stories we plan and the way they actually happen are often two very different things. And while it can feel like a disaster in the moment, some of the greatest stories unfold in the most unexpected, unplanned ways.</p>
<p>And we are better for it.</p>


<p style="font-size:12px"><em>This article originally appeared in the&nbsp;<a href="https://store.success.com/by-media/success-magazine-mar-apr-2021-daymond-john.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">March/April 2021 issue of SUCCESS magazine</a>.</em><br><em>Photo by&nbsp;<em>2112.sonya</em>/Twenty20</em></p>

Things don't always go as we imagine; our reaction is what matters most.

Things don't always go as we imagine; our reaction is what matters most. | SUCCESS

The Best Stories Can Happen When Things Don't Go As Planned

The Best Stories Can Happen When Things Don&#8217;t Go as Planned

The Best Stories Can Happen When Things Don't Go as Planned | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/family-planning.jpg

How to Be an Influencer: Start with Your Story

<p>When I was growing up in rural Minnesota, I always took the bus to school. In good weather (which isn’t exactly a hallmark of rural Minnesota) that trip lasted an hour there and an hour back. One day, I arrived back home and trudged up the driveway to our front door. I knew I’d be the only one home at that hour, and I was excited for that little bit of independence that middle-schoolers crave. Having the house to yourself even for just a little bit is a <em>big deal</em> when you’re that age.</p>



<p>There was just one problem: The door was locked. Now, this was the early ’90s. There were no cell phones, and my mom wasn’t going to be home for a while. So I did what many angsty tweens would do in this situation: I tried to break down the door. I kicked. I pounded my fists. I even used my shoulder as a battering ram, all to no avail. Eventually, my mom came home with my younger siblings in tow. There I sat, pouting on the doormat, defeated after what felt like a lifelong battle against my front door.</p>



<p>“The door is locked!” I exclaimed.</p>



<p>My mom looked at me for a moment, then said, “Did you look under the doormat? The key is under there.” </p>



<p>I share this embarrassing story for a couple of reasons. First, it contains the details (the door kicks, the middle-of-nowhere setting) and the identifiable character (an angst-ridden middle-schooler) that are key to your own successful storytelling. But more importantly, you may have experienced something similar in your life or career. You may have encountered your fair share of closed minds or other obstacles standing between you and your goals.</p>



<p>When it comes to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-tips-to-keep-an-open-mind/">opening and influencing a closed mind</a>, we often approach it the same way I approached my fight against the front door. We use our logic, our stats, our reasoning and our convictions, but no matter how hard we try, we can’t get that mind to open. All the while, the key is right in front of us. That key is storytelling.</p>



<p>Storytelling is how you gain influence and, ultimately, achieve your success. I’ve spent more than a decade telling stories to some of the world’s leading companies. Through speeches, keynotes and my book, <em><a href="https://amzn.to/2Nojnph" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Stories That Stick</a></em>, I help people unlock the power of storytelling and use that power to attain goals in their work and lives. I want to do the same for you as <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-stories-of-which-success-is-truly-made/">Chief Storytelling Officer of <em>SUCCESS</em></a>.</p>



<p>To do that, the <em>SUCCESS</em> team and I recently surveyed readers just like you. We wanted to find out what you think is holding you back from success in work and in life. Specifically, we wanted to know if you feel like you have influence and the other tools you need to achieve your goals.</p>



<p>The survey results were fascinating. We learned that most of our readers desire influence, but they often feel as if it’s always just out of reach. You have ideas to share, but you may not feel confident enough to share them. You may even struggle with impostor syndrome, which I can definitely relate to. Many readers shared that they have trouble capturing and keeping an audience’s attention, which I know can be quite the challenge. After poring over these survey results, we decided to create a course for ambitious readers like you.</p>



<p>I’m here to help you discover the power of storytelling and gain the influence you seek. You’ve kicked, pounded and rammed that door long enough. Now, it’s time to unlock it. As you’ll find, the key isn’t as elusive as you might think.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-you-can-be-an-influencer">You can be an influencer. </h2>



<p>To kick things off, let’s dispel some common myths and misconceptions. First of all, influence is not about the number of followers you have or the number of square feet in your office. It’s definitely not about a trendy wardrobe or a blue checkmark. You don’t need any of that to cut through the noise at work or online, and you don’t need that to be an influencer. So, what do you need? Better yet, what the heck is real influence, anyway?</p>



<p>Influence is all about shaping the actions and opinions of other people. If you can share your ideas in a way that causes someone to listen and then act, you are an influencer. And believe me: When you show up as your true, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-secrets-of-being-authentic-and-why-its-important/">authentic self</a> and share your passions consistently and persuasively, your audience—whether online or in person—will respond. The best way to share those passions is a tool we discussed above: storytelling.</p>



<p>When you tell your stories, your audience participates alongside you. That’s why it works. While you were reading my middle school story above, you were probably imagining me walking up a snowy driveway after a long bus ride. You might have pictured me kicking the door with all my might, then pouting when it wouldn’t budge. You envisioned these details in your mind, which made you a crucial part of my telling of the story. Your audience will do the same thing when you tell your story.</p>



<p>Imagine you’re interviewing for the position or promotion you covet, or pitching your talents to a client as a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-things-ive-learned-about-being-a-solopreneur/">solopreneur</a>. Now, picture this: That interviewer or potential client is hanging on your every word. Their eyes light up, and you know, just know, that everything you’re saying is resonating with your audience. That’s the impact you can have as a storyteller. But before I share some tactics that will help you captivate your audience, let’s talk about what makes stories so powerful.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-storytelling-is-your-key">Storytelling is your key. </h2>



<p>One day, a young marine biologist named Christine Figgener was working with her team off the coast of Costa Rica. Figgener and her cohorts were catching sea turtles to gather data for her thesis, and one of the team members noticed something peculiar about a turtle on the boat. When they looked closer, the marine biologists noticed the turtle had something stuck up its nose.</p>



<p>While someone recorded, Figgener’s team tried to twist and tug the foreign object from the turtle’s nose. The seadweller was clearly agitated, and at one point, the turtle started bleeding. Finally, the marine biologists pulled the object free, and Figgener was furious. It was a plastic straw, one of the millions of single-use plastic items that end up in the oceans every year. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened.</p>



<p>Before meeting this terrified turtle, Figgener had seen dozens of turtles who had accidentally eaten plastic. She and her team even came across a turtle caught in a plastic bag. But this turtle was different.</p>



<p>Figgener uploaded the video, and it quickly went viral. The marine biologist suddenly found herself with a global platform she could use to educate others about the dangers of plastic pollution. Ultimately, <a href="https://time.com/5339037/turtle-video-plastic-straw-ban/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">her efforts started the global anti-straw movement</a> that we’re in the midst of today. In 2020, Starbucks completely phased out the use of straws. Disney and dozens of other internationally recognized hotels and eateries have done the same. Across the world, people and companies have banded together to reduce the use of plastic straws, and while this movement has been years in the making, there’s no denying the obvious: One story about one turtle influenced massive amounts of change.</p>



<p>Stories have power, as researchers agree. Numerous studies detail how humans are moved by stories and often compelled to act, whether it be a major motion picture, a video about a struggling turtle or a story shared by someone they know.</p>



<p>When you walk someone through a narrative arc, you invite them to join you on a journey. And when the story is well-told, you build the trust that is essential to success in your career and life.</p>



<p>As I mentioned above, your story is an invitation. As your colleague, client, boss or interviewer listens to your words, they’ll be adding their own images. It’s almost like they’re telling the story alongside you, creating an experience rife with imagination and feeling. That, in turn, will make you stand above the crowd. When that person looks back on all the candidates they interviewed for the position you’re seeking, or considers who to award their business, they’ll look at their list of candidates. There, at very top, will be your name, and you’ll have your storytelling to thank for that.</p>



<p>Of course, you can’t expect any story to help you gain the influence you need. It takes a special kind of narrative to open closed minds and rise above the noise. To craft that story, you may even have to silence your toughest critic: you. But you can get there, and I’m here to help.</p>





<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-calm-your-nerves-for-greater-impact">Calm Your Nerves for Greater Impact</h2>



<p>Public speaking is a key component of storytelling, and if that terrifies you, you’re not alone. More than 75 percent of the population has some kind of anxiety about public speaking, including me! But sometimes it’s unavoidable, and being able to present well makes a huge difference in practically every profession. Here are some things you can do to calm your nerves and stand out at work.</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Open presentations with a story. The nods and laughs of your audience will settle you down.</li>



<li>Keep telling stories throughout your presentation. This drives emotion so your audience can feel the impact of the action you want them to take.</li>



<li>Raise your voice. This is especially valuable in work meetings. A well-told story that demands attention can draw people in and open them up to the ideas you’re presenting.</li>
</ul>





<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-keys-to-a-great-story">3 Keys to a Great Story</h2>



<ol class="wp-block-list">
<li>Include relatable characters. Maybe that character is you. Everyone can resonate with the stress of starting a new job or taking on an enormous project. When your audience can relate to you, they’ll be hooked.</li>



<li>Sprinkle in key details. Include the color of the car or what the weather was like that day. As long as you keep these details brief, they’ll add some interesting flavor to your narrative.</li>



<li>Avoid throwing in the kitchen sink. Your story doesn’t have to happen in sequence, and it doesn’t have to include every feeling or nuance of that particular day. If you feel like you’re sharing too much detail, you’re probably right.</li>
</ol>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><strong><em>Read Next: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-use-your-influence-to-help-others/">How to Use Your Influence to Help Others</a></em></strong><br></p>
</blockquote>



<p><br><br><em>This article originally appeared in the&nbsp;<a href="https://store.success.com/by-media/success-magazine-mar-apr-2021-daymond-john.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">March/April 2021 issue of SUCCESS magazine</a>.</em><br><em>Photo by Santi Nu<em>ñ</em>ez/Stocksy United</em></p>

A great story has the power to influence buyers, bosses and your bottom line.

When I was growing up in rural Minnesota, I always took the bus to school. In good weather (which isn’t exactly a hallmark of rural Minnesota) that trip | SUCCESS

How to Become an Influencer: Start With Your Story

How to Become an Influencer: Start With Your Story | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/how-to-be-an-influencer-start-with-your-story.jpg

<p>It was a Monday in early December 2020. I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram when I came across a video. A woman was running down a country road, methodically. You could tell she was a runner, she’d done this before. She then turned her head to the camera and, mid-stride, said matter-of-factly, “I’ve always been a motivated person.”</p>



<div id="om-wssoarixtgtwp2gdvxgb-holder"></div>



<p>That statement alone wasn’t revolutionary. Lots of people would consider themselves a motivated person, myself included. If you’re reading this, probably you. But it wasn’t just the words she shared; there was something about the <em>way </em>she said them. Like there was something more to it. Something… ominous?</p>



<p>What started as a mindless scroll became five minutes that changed how I viewed achievement perhaps forever. And for the better.</p>



<p>Who was this woman running down a country road, changing lives as she went? Her name is <a href="https://www.alexipappas.com/about" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Alexi Pappas</a>.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Alexi Pappas is an olympian, a filmmaker, an actor and most recently, an author of the book <em>Bravey: Chasing Dreams, Befriending Pain, and Other Big Ideas. </em>When she was 4 years old, Alexi lost her mother to suicide. Alexi went on to set and achieve some incredible feats. However, as the video that initially drew me to her revealed, Alexi’s own world began to crumble until she realized that perhaps we need to treat our mental health with as much attention and detail as we do our physical health.&nbsp;</p>



<p>By the end of that five-minute video, I knew I had to hear and share her story. You can hear our full conversation on the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/success-stories-pod/success-stories-episode-24-being-a-bravey-with-alexi-pappas"><em>SUCCESS Stories</em> podcast</a>. In the meantime, here are just two of the many big lessons I learned from Alexi Pappas.</p>



<h2>The Dark Side of a Non-Stop Achievement Mindset&nbsp;&nbsp;</h2>



<p>To lose anyone to suicide is a tragedy beyond compare. As a 4-year-old, it’s nearly impossible to process, understand and untangle it all. In the end, Alexi deduced that she simply didn’t matter enough for her mother to stay. Nevermind her mother’s illness, if Alexi had mattered more, maybe her mother would have stuck around. And so began a life-long determination to matter. Alexi pushed herself harder, went farther, achieved more, set goals, broke records… all in an effort to matter. Alexi admits that attitude served her for a long time. She did some incredible things. Many of her dreams came true. However, the non-stop achievement mindset eventually caught up with Alexi. Shortly after the pinnacle of her athletic career, competing at the Olympics, things began to come apart. Sleeplessness, physical pain and eventually thoughts of suicide. What once had been the antidote became the poison.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Achievement is a beautiful thing. Setting big goals and working to reach them is one of life’s great joys. However, Alexi’s experience offers an important lesson for all success-minded people. Achievement at the expense of your physical and mental well-being isn’t success. Take care of your mind and body on your path to making your mark.</p>



<h2>Mentors</h2>



<p>I am often asked questions about mentors. How do you get a mentor? What’s the best to ask someone if they want to be your mentor? Certainly, mentors are an extremely important part of success and finding one can have a huge impact on your future successes; however, the process for finding a mentor is a lot less awkward than any of those questions would make it seem. Mentors have been an important part of Alexi’s success. And I think her approach to <em>finding </em>mentors is perhaps even <em>more </em>important.</p>



<p>Having lost her mother at such a young age, Alexi adopted the perspective that the universe&nbsp; kind of owed her a mentor and anyone was fair game. Women she knew personally—nannies, other girls’ mothers—she considered them mentors. Women she never met, but whom she admired, she let their stories and examples serve as mentorship. It was her <em>openness </em>to what “qualified” as a mentor and her willingness to adopt them as her own that made the difference.</p>



<p>If you are seeking a mentor or have ever wondered how to find one, don’t overthink it. Read <em>SUCCESS </em>and let the people on the cover be your mentor. Listen to the <em>SUCCESS Stories </em>podcast and find a new mentor every week. Buy Alexi’s book, <em>Bravey</em>,<em> </em>and let her mentor you through her words.<em> </em>Trust me, she is exactly the mentor you need and she’ll be happy to do it.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Listen now: </em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/success-stories-pod/success-stories-episode-24-being-a-bravey-with-alexi-pappas">SUCCESS Stories Episode 24: Being a Bravey with Alexi Pappas</a></strong></p></blockquote>



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<p class="has-small-font-size"><br>Photo by JoAnna Forsythe&nbsp;</p>

Alexi Pappas’ story might just change how you view achievement forever—and for the better.

Alexi Pappas’ story might just change how you view achievement forever—and for the better. | SUCCESS

The Dark Side of a Non-Stop Achievement Mindset

The Dark Side of a Non-Stop Achievement Mindset | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Alexi-Pappas.jpg

Success

Success Archives

Success | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

<p>Did you ever see the&nbsp;<em>Friends</em>&nbsp;episode where Ross buys a new couch and tries to squeeze it up his apartment staircase with the help of Chandler and Rachel? Maneuvering the couch around the switchbacks of a New York City apartment staircase is no easy task, and Ross ends up famously yelling at his friends with increasing intensity and agitation: “PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT!”</p>



<p>That scene pretty much sums up the year we’ve just experienced. After the initial shock in mid-March, there was a nationwide scramble to pivot. Schools suddenly went virtual. Talk show hosts began broadcasting from their bedrooms. To those of us living in New York City, no pivot has been more inspiring than that of our local restaurants.</p>



<p>The brief timeline: On March 16, all dining establishments in the city were forced shut. Shortly after and for the first time ever, those establishments with a liquor license were allowed to deliver food and alcohol. By the summer, thousands of restaurants were allowed to set up tables and offer guests a socially-distant outdoor dining experience. It was incredible to see what these restaurants did amid the circumstances, and those that survived have offered a masterclass in what it takes to reinvent.</p>



<p>Here are just three of the many lessons I learned while living and dining in NYC during the pandemic.</p>


<p style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SVQ2xzjGL1Q" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>


<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Lesson No. 1:&nbsp;Get creative.</h3>



<p>An Upper East Side ice cream shop was known for its wacky flavors, whimsical décor and (because they also had a liquor license), making adult beverages feel more like a dessert. When it started delivering its beverages in funky collectable cups—think cocktails and boozy ice creams served in a plastic Eiffel Tower, or a giant Lego block—devoted patrons went crazy for it! Instead of regularly stopping in for a cone, they obsessively ordered delivery so they could fill cupboards with the unique dishes.</p>



<p>It’s tempting in times of extreme transition to play it safe and, when under so much pressure and with so much stress, creativity can be a challenge. However, a little creativity can go a long way when it comes to surviving and thriving a pivot.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Lesson No. 2:&nbsp;Show up.</h3>



<p>On a late September evening, my husband Michael and I went out for a date. The streets were alive, and the night air was warm in that uniquely autumn way that feels like a long farewell hug. After all, winter was coming.</p>



<p>First we stopped into our favorite neighborhood spot, Eighteen, and said hello to Sydney, the owner. We’ve become friends with Sydney because every time we visit, he has a new story to tell. Then we walked up the block to a little Italian place we’ve been wanting to try to see if we could grab a glass of wine and dessert. A man greeted us. “I do not have a spot for you tonight… we are all full! Come tomorrow, 6 p.m., I will have a table for you!” Michael asked: Is this your place? The man smiled behind his mask, his old eyes crinkling outside the corner of his glasses as he looked out at a sidewalk filled with people enjoying his masterpiece. “Yes,” he said. “This is&nbsp;mine.”</p>



<p>Still wanting something sweet, we walked up that block, over one and down another until we found a little Mexican restaurant. We were greeted by the owner, who directed us to his last two spots.</p>



<p>As we walked home that night, I marveled that every place we went, the owner was there—not just in the back, but out front, actively welcoming and engaging guests. Whether you own a business or not, if you’ve ever wondered what to do in times of uncertainty, follow the lead of the restaurant owners: Show up, in front, each day. People notice.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Lesson No. 3:&nbsp;Be vulnerable.</h3>



<p>I’ll never forget the first summer night that we dined at a table that wasn’t in our kitchen. It had been months! We sat down, awkward at first and, though we weren’t even hungry, ordered dinner. We had long conversations with the other street-side patrons—all of us just so excited to be out and around other people. The server urged us to take our time.</p>



<p>And at the end of the night, the owner came out to thank us (which shouldn’t surprise you now). But he didn’t just share an expression of gratitude, he also shared his heart. “How wonderful it is to make you food and have you eat it here at my place instead of take it back to your own. The streets have been so quiet. The only people I see are the delivery men and the only sounds I hear are the sirens. I’ve been so lonely.”</p>



<p>When going through hard times, so often we keep the struggle to ourselves. However, opening up, being vulnerable and sharing the whole story creates opportunities for connection, support, camaraderie, loyalty—everything that’s needed to survive the ultimate reinvention.</p>



<p class="has-text-align-center">* * *</p>



<p>In September, the city announced that outdoor dining would be permanent. With a cold winter around the corner, the restaurateurs faced another challenge—another pivot point.</p>



<p>I wouldn’t count them out. When it comes to the restaurant reinvention, if there is a way, these brave entrepreneurs will find it and teach us all in the process.&nbsp;</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the&nbsp;<a href="https://store.success.com/by-media/success-magazine-jan-feb-2021-mark-cuban.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">January/February 2021 issue of SUCCESS magazine</a>.</em><br><em>Photo by Canipel/Twenty20.com</em></p>

These brave restaurant owners exemplify the spirit of reinvention. Follow their lead.

These brave restaurant owners exemplify the spirit of reinvention. Follow their lead. | SUCCESS

What It Takes to Reinvent: 3 Lessons You Can Learn From Restaurants in the Pandemic

Pandemic Reinvention: 3 Lessons from Restaurants

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Payal Kadakia's whole life led up to one big idea that changed the fitness business and became a $1 billion unicorn: ClassPass. Can the same traits that got her this far help ClassPass and its partners survive through the COVID-19 pandemic?

Payal Kadakia's whole life led up to one big idea that changed the fitness business and became a $1 billion unicorn: ClassPass. Can the same traits that got her this far help ClassPass and its partners survive through the COVID-19 pandemic? | SUCCESS

How Payal Kadakia Disrupted the Fitness Industry

How Payal Kadakia Disrupted the Fitness Industry | SUCCESS

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Women of Influence: Untold Stories by 10 Dynamic Women

<p>I have always loved when journalists start their articles detailing the location where they met a notable person for an interview.</p>



<p>I like to picture the white tablecloth on the outdoor patio of the fine-dining establishment or the bright, modern living room if the interview was done in the luminary’s home. So imagine my disappointment when I wanted to start this piece describing my interview setting and all I had to work with was, “I sat in my New York City apartment closet, next to the dirty laundry, staring at the computer screen, waiting for the Zoom meeting to start.”</p>



<p>Such was life during production of this issue, as we all grappled with the hopefully momentary realities of the pandemic. However, these 10 powerhouse women proved the old adage true: It’s not about where you are, but who you’re with.</p>



<p>Through hours of conversation, the women you’ll read about on the following pages opened up about all aspects of success. Here, they each share a moment in time on their respective journeys; a story you may not have heard before but one that, as you seek your own version of success, will shed light and truth on what success means and what it takes to get there.</p>



<p><strong>Meet the Women of Influence:</strong></p>



<ul><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-india-arie/">India.Arie</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-seema-bansal/">Seema Bansal</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-susan-cain/">Susan Cain</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-misty-copeland/">Misty Copeland</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-hatmaker/">Jen Hatmaker</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-sunny-hostin/">Sunny Hostin</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-samantha-ponder/">Samantha Ponder</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-gretchen-rubin/">Gretchen Rubin</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-sincero/">Jen Sincero</a></li><li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-megan-tamte/">Megan Tamte</a></li></ul>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-megan-tamte/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-megan-tamte/">Megan Tamte</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-india-arie/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-india-arie/">India.Arie</a></figcaption></figure></div>



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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/subscribe" target="_blank">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



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<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em></p>

These tales of overcoming obstacles, leaps of faith and breakthrough moments will give you the inspiration you need to push forward on your own journey.

These tales of overcoming obstacles, leaps of faith and breakthrough moments will give you the inspiration you need to push forward on your own journey. | SUCCESS

Women of Influence: Untold Stories by 10 Dynamic Women | SUCCESS

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<p><em>As told to Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Four-time Grammy Award-winning R&B legend</h3>



<p>Music has always been a part of my life, an ancestral thing for me. Most of my mother’s side of the family sang and wrote songs or were preachers or evangelists. In the South, evangelists are synonymous with singing. My mother was a singer, Motown wanted to sign her. In fact, the first original song that I knew was one my mother wrote for me to learn the days of the week when I was a child.</p>



<p>I started writing music after graduating high school. I was good at English, I was good at music so I just took those two things and put them together and started writing my own songs. Then in college, I took my first paycheck from the bookstore where I worked and bought a guitar (which apparently wasn’t a good guitar—someone saw it and gave me a better one) and I wrote more.</p>



<p>Then one night, around that time, I had written three songs and decided to play them one night at a little spot in Savannah, Georgia. I remember I closed my eyes and sang my song and when I opened my eyes again, everything had changed. People were standing and clapping. People had come in from outside to listen. All I remember was all these people—it was so dramatic. I went home and told my mother what had happened. Though she loved music, having had her own taste of the industry, she had encouraged me to pursue an education instead. But something changed that day.</p>



<p>Not long after that, I’ll never forget, I was walking past the kitchen and my mother stopped me and said, “Let me ask you a question.” I could tell she was serious. “Do you want to sing in the kitchen? And at church like me and your aunts? Or do you want to really take a chance to be a singer?” I looked at her and said, “I want to take a chance.” And she said, “Take it seriously.” And so I did, and I have for the past 20 years since.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/women-of-influence-untold-stories-by-10-dynamic-women/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/women-of-influence-untold-stories-by-10-dynamic-women/">Women of Influence</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-seema-bansal/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-seema-bansal/">Seema Bansal</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



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<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by Duan Davis</em></p>

Four-time Grammy Award-winning R&B legend

Four-time Grammy Award-winning R&B legend | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: India.Arie

Woman of Influence: India.Arie | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/3.jpg

<p><em>As told to Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Co-founder of Venus ET Fleur, a multimillion-dollar flower business</h3>



<p>During the entire journey there were so many naysayers; friends in my ear saying this was a bad decision or that no one was going to buy flowers that are packaged. Even my parents. They were trying to be supportive, sure, but they were scared. I was using my life savings to start a business. To move to a different country (Vancouver to New York City). To put everything on the line based only on the belief in myself.</p>



<p>The interesting thing was, that’s exactly what I’d watched my father do. He immigrated to Canada, risked everything, and eventually started his own company where he put us to work learning everything there was to know about being an entrepreneur. Through his example I learned, I just have to trust my gut. The best thing I ever did was believe in my own dreams, which I know sounds cliché, but it really is the magic tool to help you get where you want to be. You have to trust your journey; you have to keep going. And I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever done. </p>



<p>The day I was leaving Vancouver to start a business in New York with my new boyfriend (now husband) I was at the airport with my parents who still weren’t happy about it. But, I remember it so clearly, my dad looked at me and said, “You know what? Good luck. Do it. If you have to come back you can come back. But just go for it.” And I started to cry. My mom started to cry. He kind of started tearing up. It was really emotional. But I felt like it was the proper sendoff. He knew this was what the universe was telling me to do. It felt amazing.</p>



<p>I’ll never forget that day, leaving my parents. Being on my own with all my suitcases, running through the airport so I didn’t miss my flight. Literally chasing a dream that’s now come true.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-india-arie/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-india-arie/">India.Arie</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-susan-cain/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-susan-cain/">Susan Cain</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by ©</em> <em>Danny Giang</em></p>

Co-founder of Venus ET Fleur, a multimillion-dollar flower business

Co-founder of Venus ET Fleur, a multimillion-dollar flower business | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Seema Bansal

Woman of Influence: Seema Bansal | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/4.jpg

<p><em>As told by Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Best-selling author of <em>Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking</em> and founder of Quiet Revolution</h3>



<p>The first book I ever wrote was called <em>Peggy Meets Eggy</em>. It was three pieces of loose-leaf paper stapled together and I was about 4 years old. Then when I was a little older, I started a magazine and I sold subscriptions to my family members. Even at a young age, and beyond the writing itself, there was something about the writer’s life that felt like such a strong sense of destiny.</p>



<p>But when I was a few years older, my father took me aside and assured me that while it’s a nice romantic dream to be a writer, it won’t be so romantic when you’re grown and can’t pay the bills, So I took a 15-year detour and practiced law instead. And I was pretty ambitious about it, pretty engaged in it and I really liked the firm where I practiced. But I used to live in Greenwich Village in Manhattan across the street from the Barnes & Noble, and I would often go there late at night after work. And one night I found this book called <em>Do What You Are</em>. It was a book that had you take the Myers-Briggs personality test and match your type to your ideal career. All of the careers that are mapped to my type were things like social worker, psychologist, clergy person and… writer. </p>



<p>Then came the year that I was up for partner at the law firm. They came and told me that I wasn’t going to make partner. I remember I was really upset, but I asked for a leave of absence, I left the firm three hours later and I never went back. A week later I signed up for a creative nonfiction writing at NYU. </p>



<p>I sat in that classroom on the very first night of class and I remember so distinctly where I was sitting, right in the middle of the 12-desk horseshoe arrangement, and thinking, “Okay, I found my home. This is where I’m supposed to be. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. I will never be able to make a living at this, but I’m organizing my whole life around it.” And I have.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-seema-bansal/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-seema-bansal/">Seema Bansal</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-misty-copeland/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-misty-copeland/">Misty Copeland</a></figcaption></figure></div>
</div>
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<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo courtesy of Susan Cain</em></p>

Best-selling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and founder of Quiet Revolution

Best-selling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and founder of Quiet Revolution | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Susan Cain

Woman of Influence: Susan Cain | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/5.jpg

<p><em>As told by Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>First African-American principal dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre</h3>



<p>The first ballet class I ever took was on a basketball court.</p>



<p>I was one of six kids. My mother was a single parent and we faced a lot of challenges—moving a lot, changing schools. And while this was the only life I knew, I became an extremely introverted child. I learned to keep my mouth closed to avoid criticism from other kids. I never in my whole life felt like I ever fit in. I never felt like I ever belonged anywhere. </p>



<p>Those first few ballet classes were no different.</p>



<p>The class was free at the local Boys & Girls Club and designed for kids like me—diverse students who maybe didn’t have the access or the means to be a part of the ballet world otherwise. I remember walking into the gymnasium, onto the basketball court and immediately feeling out of place. There I was, 13 years old, which is ancient in ballet years, being thrust into this class that was so foreign to me, hearing music that I’d never heard before, and having an instructor manipulate my body to put it into different positions. Not to mention I was the only person in the class who wasn’t in a leotard, tights and ballet slippers; I was wearing a T-shirt, shorts and socks.</p>



<p>I remember thinking, “No, this isn’t for me, I don’t fit in. I don’t belong here.”</p>



<p>However, a week or two later, the instructor offered me a full scholarship to train at her school. My mother allowed me to go and my stepfather took me to the local ballet store, Alva’s. I remember putting on the leotard and tights for the first time and they immediately felt like a second skin. They fit. I fit. This is where I belonged. And for the first time in my life, I soared.</p>



<p>And then, years later as a sololist at American Ballet Theatre in New York City, there was the night of the Firebird ballet performance, and everything changed for me.</p>



<p>I’ll never forget that night, a night that almost didn’t happen as I was keeping a pretty severe injury under wraps because I knew if the artistic staff and physical therapists had known the severity of my pain, they wouldn’t have allow me to perform. But my shows were sold out at the Metropolitan Opera House and I knew that more than half of the audience would be black and brown people, which had never happened before at the Met. I knew that many of them were coming for the very first time. As a woman who never felt like she belonged, I knew how important it was that I dance that night. I told myself: “Even if this is the last night that I ever perform on the stage again, it’s going to do something huge for the ballet world, and for my community within the ballet world.”</p>



<p>I remember coming out onto the stage for the first time and, though all I saw was a sea of darkness, I could feel the energy. The audience was cheering for so long and so loud that I couldn’t hear the orchestra. I thought to myself, “Well, I don’t know if I’m on the music or not, but I’m just gonna keep moving and see what happens.” The pride, and love, and energy that I felt from the audience was palpable. I’ve never experienced anything like it since.</p>



<p>That was my first and only show of Firebird during that Met season. The next day I told the artistic staff about my injury, was in surgery sometime later and it took several months for me to recover and return to the stage. But it was more than worth it.</p>



<p>The Firebird performance was the night I realized; this is not even me up here. This is me representing all of the incredible Black women who didn’t get a chance to do what I did. The Black women, in all fields, who paved the way for me to have an opportunity to stand on that stage. I know now my purpose goes beyond ballet—that this child who once kept her mouth closed—can now be the voice to represent so many who may feel like they don’t belong.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-susan-cain/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-susan-cain/">Susan Cain</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-hatmaker/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-hatmaker/">Jen Hatmaker</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo courtesy of Under Armour</em></p>

First African-American Principal Dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre

First African-American Principal Dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Misty Copeland

Woman of Influence: Misty Copeland | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/2.jpg

<p><em>As told by Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Speaker, podcast host of <em>For the Love With Jen Hatmaker </em>and author of <em>Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You</em></h3>



<p>Before I was an author, I was a teacher. And then I took a break from teaching and I had a whole bunch of babies in a row. One, two, three—I have five children now—and for a while I was having them every other year. Then, right about the time my third kid was about to turn 2 and, according to our spawning cycle, unofficially meant it was baby time, I had an idea. </p>



<p>I remember I was in the car with my husband, he was driving, we were going somewhere. And it was that safe space, you know, because he was driving and couldn’t look at me, when I said the thing I was about to say. I told him, “It’s time to birth something. I think this summer, instead of having another baby, I’m going to write a book.” And he was like, “Well, that’s an interesting thing to say.” </p>



<p>Interesting was a nice way of putting it. I’d never written a book. Nobody was asking me to write a book. I didn’t even own a laptop. We were struggling financially. We had all these babies, and we were barely making it month to month and I’m pretty sure my husband thought, since we weren’t having another baby, I could go back to the classroom and relieve some of the financial pressure. So for me to say that I’m not going back to work and am going to write a book, God bless him for not driving into a tree. </p>



<p>Not only that, he went home and bought me a $200 laptop off Craigslist, plugged that sucker into our dial-up internet and told me, “I’ll figure out a way to work from home one day a week so you can have time to write.” He really believed in my dream, and he put wind behind it. And here we are, 12 books later.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-misty-copeland/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-misty-copeland/">Misty Copeland</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-sunny-hostin/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-sunny-hostin/">Sunny Hostin</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by © Micah Kandros</em></p>

Speaker, podcast host of For the Love with Jen Hatmaker and author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

Speaker, podcast host of For the Love with Jen Hatmaker and author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Jen Hatmaker

Woman of Influence: Jen Hatmaker | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/6.jpg

<p><em>As told to Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Emmy award-winning co-host of ABC’s <em>The View</em>, renowned journalist and author of <em><a href="https://www.harpercollins.com/products/i-am-these-truths-sunny-hostincharisse-jones?variant=32117891661858" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">I Am These Truths: A Memoir of Identity, Justice, and Living Between Worlds</a></em></h3>



<p>Growing up in the Bronx, there were days when we didn’t have heat and hot water, and I remember those struggles. Did I ever think that I would be a federal prosecutor or <a href="https://www.harpercollins.com/products/i-am-these-truths-sunny-hostincharisse-jones?variant=32117891661858" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">writing a memoir</a> or be a national talk show host? No, I didn’t. But I did know early on that I wanted to be a storyteller and somehow use my experience to help others and I didn’t let not knowing exactly how to do that stop me.</p>



<p>I always had the side gig. I had dreams that I always fed. While I was practicing law, I took a writing course. It turns out, the book I started writing during that course, is the book that comes out next summer and the person I took the writing course with, is my book agent. It all comes around which is why I think it’s really important to feed the side hustle. Do what you have to do to make ends meet, but also to diversify, dream and feed the hustle because you never know where it might take you.</p>



<p>For example, I was at a meeting at the local National Bar Association, where people were talking about career development. It was a really rainy day. I got my aunt to watch my two babies. People were talking about juggling work and life. I actually stood up and sort of gave this unexpected speech about the myth of work/life balance.</p>



<p>Afterwards somebody came up to me and said, “You should be on TV.” I laughed and told her I thought of myself as a journalist, but I don’t think I’ll be plucked from obscurity. She said, “Well, I think you have been plucked. Here’s my card.” She happened to be a producer for Court TV. I was on television probably a week later. It felt like home. I felt comfortable, like when I’m in a courtroom. A year later I had a contract with CNN.</p>



<p>Some believe in luck. I believe in the result of preparation meeting opportunity. Be prepared. Seek the opportunity and then seize it.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-hatmaker/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-hatmaker/">Jen Hatmaker</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-samantha-ponder/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-samantha-ponder/">Samantha Ponder</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo courtesy of ABC</em></p>

Emmy award-winning co-host of ABC’s The View, renowned journalist and author of I Am These Truths: A Memoir of Identity, Justice, and Living Between Worlds

Emmy award-winning co-host of ABC’s The View, renowned journalist and author of I Am These Truths: A Memoir of Identity, Justice, and Living Between Worlds | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Sunny Hostin

Woman of Influence: Sunny Hostin | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/7.jpg

<p><em>As told to Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Host of ESPN’s <em>Sunday NFL Countdown</em></h3>



<p>It was probably in third grade when I first processed that becoming a sports broadcaster was my dream. I’d always loved sports but was self-aware enough to realize that I probably wasn’t going to make a living off playing sports. However, I used to watch a show called <em>NBA Inside Stuff</em>. Every Saturday morning, before big NBA games I would watch how the broadcaster, Ahmad Rashad, interacted with the players. He genuinely wanted to know the players’ stories and even as a child, I knew that’s what I wanted to do</p>



<p>What do you do to make a dream come true? You say yes! To all of it. The entire first decade of my career, I said yes to everything. Every appearance, opportunity, every chance at exposure. I was on a show called <em>College Gameday</em>, then I did college basketball and the NBA Playoffs. I was on the road all the time. Never home. I married my husband who was playing in the NFL and only had Tuesdays off, so we saw each other once a week the first two years of our marriage. Then I had my daughter and decided, “I’ll just bring her with me!” My daughter was on a hundred flights before she turned one. When I had my second child, tried to bring them both. Looking back, it was a disaster.</p>



<p>I started talking to experienced women in the industry—the ones who had kids like me, and every one of them said: “I have so many regrets.” Not one of them said, “I wish I would have said ‘yes’ more.” So I started saying No to the things that didn’t matter and Yes only to the things that did.</p>



<p>I’ll never forget the day, not too long ago, when my huband and I had a scheduling conflict and I had to take my then 5-year-old daughter with me to Connecticut for <em>NFL Countdown</em> at the last second. I set my daughter, Scout, on the side of the set with headphones and video and told her, “No matter what, don’t come on the set.” It was live TV.</p>



<p>At one point Randy Moss, who is an NFL Hall of Famer, one of the biggest personalities you’ll ever meet and is on the show, walked off the set during a commercial break. I didn’t think anything of it. It was only afterward, when my daughter kept talking about Mr. Randy hanging out with her to talk about <em>Paw Patrol</em>, that I realized where he went.</p>



<p>That might not be a big deal to people, but it mattered so much to me. It showed that my work family cared about my real family, which is my ultimate desire: to be seen as a whole person and not just a broadcaster. That is the real dream.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-sunny-hostin/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-sunny-hostin/">Sunny Hostin</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-gretchen-rubin/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-gretchen-rubin/">Gretchen Rubin</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by © Allen Kee / ESPN Images</em></p>

Host of ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Samantha Ponder

Woman of Influence: Samantha Ponder | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/8.jpg

<p><em>As told to Kindra Hall</em></p>



<h3>Best-selling author, podcaster, speaker and creator of the Four Tendencies framework, exploring happiness and good habits</h3>



<p>One thing that has been true about me my whole life is that I can become very preoccupied with certain subjects. So preoccupied in fact, that I’ll throw everything else down and start doing a huge amount of research. It happens to me all the time.</p>



<p>One time in particular, was during my law career. I was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor in Washington, D.C. (a dream job, by the way), I went outside for a walk on my lunch hour. I remember I looked up at the Capitol Dome against the bright blue sky and I asked myself a rhetorical question. “What am I interested in that everyone else in the world is interested in?” I thought, “Well, power, money, fame, and sex.” And it happened, BAM! My mind exploded. I immediately started researching these subjects. I was staying late at work to research and researching on the weekends. Hours of research on this topic. I remember thinking, “This is the kind of thing you do if you’re writing a book.” But I wasn’t writing a book about power, money, fame and sex… I was in law.</p>



<p>Meanwhile, I began noticing my colleagues who were top law students. And they<em> loved</em> law. They talked about law at lunch and at happy hour and were reading law journals on the weekend. And then I went over to a friend’s house who had a really boring looking textbook on her table and when I asked if that’s the kind of thing she had to read for her grad program, she said yes, but she’d read it on her own anyway.</p>



<p>That’s the day I realized I wanted a job that I loved as much as the law students loved law. Where what I was doing in my free time is what I would be doing for work. What was I doing in my free time? I was writing a book. I thought, “I could be a person who writes a book.”</p>



<p>I got to the point where I would rather fail as a writer than succeed as a lawyer, so I wrote a book. My first book was called <em>Power, Money, Fame, Sex</em>, those same topics I thought of on my lunch break that day the sky was so blue.</p>



<div class="wp-block-columns">
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-samantha-ponder/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-left.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51928" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-samantha-ponder/">Samantha Ponder</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<div class="wp-block-column">
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-sincero/"><img src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Arrow-right.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-51929" width="150" height="150"/></a><figcaption><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/woman-of-influence-jen-sincero/">Jen Sincero</a></figcaption></figure></div>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><a href="https://www.successacademy.com/successmagazine" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Click here to get your copy of the September/October issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine!</a></strong></p>



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<p class="has-text-align-left has-small-font-size"><br><em>This article originally appeared in the September/October 2020 issue of SUCCESS magazine.</em><br><em>Photo by © Photography by Heath Moore</em></p>

Best-selling author, podcaster, speaker and creator of the Four Tendencies framework, exploring happiness and good habits

Best-selling author, podcaster, speaker and creator of the Four Tendencies framework, exploring happiness and good habits | SUCCESS

Woman of Influence: Gretchen Rubin

Woman of Influence: Gretchen Rubin | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/9.jpg