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As she sat across from me in the boardroom, having just finished telling me the goals she wants to achieve for the next year, I could see a mix of excitement and insecurity in her eyes. Her goals—financial objectives, where she wanted to see her business flourish and the customers she wanted to reach—were lofty. She told me she dreamed of retiring on a beach in Costa Rica within the next five years. Nothing she said was unreasonable, but I knew she had a difficult path ahead of her.



That’s when I asked her the one question I ask everyone who sits across from me: “Are you willing to do whatever it takes?”



There are a lot of actions we need to take to get where we are going. Those who are committed need to create momentum in order to do anything and everything they can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-steps-to-manifest-your-goals-in-life-yes-it-really-does-work/">to make their dreams a reality</a>.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-ask-yourself-how-determined-you-are">1. Ask yourself how determined you are.</h2>



Asking “are you willing to do whatever it takes?” forces you to consider the actions you really need to take. If the answer is anything but “yes,” then the goal isn’t right. You need to go back and choose something that will cause you to answer with an immediate and resounding “yes.” It needs to be a goal you are <a href="https://anthony-moore.medium.com/you-can-have-whatever-you-want-if-you-do-whatever-it-takes-4b1120bb3144" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">willing to do anything</a> to achieve, a goal so big, lofty and inspiring that you would do whatever it takes to get there.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-think-outside-the-box-to-achieve-your-goal">2. Think outside the box to achieve your goal.</h2>



If you are willing to do whatever it takes to reach your goal, the follow-up question is: “What do you need to get there?” You may be on the right path—taking consistent actions that <a href="https://www.thebusybeck.com/the-power-of-consistency-why-consistency-is-better-than-motivation-alone/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">propel you toward your goal</a>—but if that was enough, why aren’t you closer to your goal by now? Consider what else you could do to get there. Who could you contact that has succeeded in the past? What groups, classes or events could you join?



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-step-outside-of-your-comfort-zone">3. Step outside of your comfort zone.</h2>



If you are willing to do anything to achieve your goal, that also means taking actions you’ve never taken before. This might mean contacting people above you on the career ladder, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-keys-to-successful-investing/">making financial investments</a> you might not feel entirely ready for or seeking out opportunities for increased brand exposure. Whatever actions you take, you need to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-3-ways-to-face-your-fears-with-courage/">move past your fear</a> and be willing to take the first step forward. If you stay where you are, then you will never get closer to your goal.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-take-massive-action-to-achieve-your-goal">4. Take massive action to achieve your goal.</h2>



Beyond taking actions that will bring you closer to your goals, you must be willing to dream and act bigger. You cannot <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/selling-to-big-companies/">win big contracts</a> if you’re not willing to reach out to decision makers at large organizations. You cannot be given opportunities to speak on large stages if you don’t contact the organizers. Those who are willing to do whatever it takes will look to their ultimate dream and take the necessary massive action to consistently work toward results, instead of hoping they will eventually work their way up to that point. There’s a saying that “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” So why not ask? You might get a yes.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-follow-up-and-follow-through">5. Follow up and follow through.</h2>



It is not enough to take massive action once—you must do it over and over again to achieve your goal. You might put in your requests and never hear back; this could happen several times. People get busy, forget about emails, never check their voicemail—no different than you or me. You might have to follow up several times before receiving a response. You might have to make several presentations before you finally nail it. But once that moment hits, express your gratitude toward the person and the opportunity and use that moment as momentum for your next big step. Remember that you were willing to do whatever it took to achieve your goal—and now, you will be able to do it all over again.



This article was updated July 2023. Photo by PeopleImages.com - Yuri A/Shutterstock

Want to achieve your goals? You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. Follow these five tips to reach your goals, no matter how lofty.

Want to achieve your goals? You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. Follow these five tips to reach your goals, no matter how lofty. | SUCCESS

Are You Willing to Do Whatever It Takes to Achieve Your Goals?

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To Achieve Your Goals, Are You Willing to Do Whatever It Takes? | SUCCESS

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Kim Orlesky is an international speaker, author and executive life coach inspiring daily&nbsp;joy. She is the author of Finding (My)Self (Love): One Girl's Journey of 17 Countries Across 4 Continents in 6 Months, and her second book, How to Be a Nomad, is&nbsp;available now.&nbsp;She is a world traveler, one-time marathoner, adventurer, poor&nbsp;golfer, inconsistent&nbsp;yogi&nbsp;and puppy parent to her Weimaraner. Connect with her at KimOrlesky.com for all her latest projects.

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Kim Orlesky

“I can’t connect with my staff," she exhaled. “They come to me and complain. I tell them what to do—and they still won’t do it."

She didn’t need to describe her frustration to me. I could hear it in the tone of her voice; I could see the way her jaw clenched her words as she held onto her composure.

The woman sitting next to me interjected with some well-meaning advice. I sat back and listened, focusing on the words that weren’t being said. I had seen this problem before: Only a few years ago, I was both the frustrated woman talking and the one providing stacked pieces of advice, hoping the next thing I would say was the perfect solution. If it wasn’t, that was OK, too, because I also loved the sound of my own voice.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-speak-well-and-listen-better">How to Speak Well... and Listen Better</a>

When the conversation fell silent, I asked the frustrated woman if she would like some advice—because the moment we ask if advice is appreciated, the receiver automatically considers if they are receptive to it in that moment.

If she wasn’t up for my advice, hopefully she would say so, but in this case, she said she was. So I explained to her the three different types of listening levels.

<h4>Passive Listening</h4>

As a passive listener, you have an awareness of the conversation going on around you, but you are not fully engaged in the speaker. In these conversations, you, the listener, are attentive just enough to respond and add your own commentary. Maybe you’re multitasking or maybe your mind is focused on other things while the conversation is going on, but you are not fully present in the moment. So this conversation, like most conversations, cannot move past surface level.

<h4>Active Listening</h4>

As an active listener, you are starting to become engaged in the speaker, and you will sometimes reiterate their language to prove your understanding or ask open-ended questions that keep the conversation going. There is typically eye contact and some matching of body language (such as head nodding, smiling and arm placement) between you and the speaker. But sometimes your thought process strays to the next question before you’re finished listening to the answer to the previous one. You are not yet fully engaged in the moment.

<h4>Global Listening</h4>

As a global listener, you and the conversation are focused on the speaker. You, the listener, are fully present—eye contact is strong and body language is synchronized. There are greater uses of pauses during the flow of conversation to allow the speaker a moment to reflect and complete their thought process. Even if you are not talking in person, you will feel emotional shifts as tone, word inflections and pauses dance their way through the conversation. Now you are fully engaged in the moment.

<h3>The Mindfulness of Listening</h3>

You can increase your skills as a listener by becoming more aware of what your mind is focused on outside of the conversation. The moment you find yourself thinking about anything else other than the topic at hand, take a moment to breathe and bring your focus back. As you increase your awareness, you may notice your natural body language and tone begin to match that of the speaker’s.

As your listening starts to improve, conversations will become deeper; more involved; and sometimes even shorter in length, as the use of appropriate pauses allows the speaker to complete entire thoughts before being questioned. With the speaker doing a majority of the talking, there will be far less back and forth and more pointed questions from you, the listener.

You’ve heard this before: "If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one to hear it, does it still make a sound?” For many people, if they don’t feel heard, they may wonder if it was even worth saying.

Much like the story above.

Likely the woman’s employees didn’t feel truly listened to as she rambled off advice. In fact, they were probably never receptive to advice in the first place (she never asked)—so, not surprisingly, nothing changed. But once the woman realized they were seeking a listening ear, she started saying less and listening more. The focus shifted from herself to her employees, and now she inspires creativity instead of giving orders, letting them talk through creating solutions for themselves—as she listens intently.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-common-mistakes-you-make-in-a-conversation">5 Common Mistakes You Make in a Conversation</a>

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<a href="https://kimorlesky.com/blog/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Kim Orlesky</a> is a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/and-the-2015-successblogstars-are" target="_blank" rel="noopener">2015 SUCCESS BlogStars winner</a>, nominated and voted upon as one of the most influential self-development writers and bloggers on the web.

As your listening skills improve, conversations will become deeper and more involved.

As your listening skills improve, conversations will become deeper and more involved. | SUCCESS

How to Be a Better Listener

How to Be a Better Listener | SUCCESS

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He didn’t have to tell me everything. But he did. He told his story and he didn’t leave anything out. He admitted his mistakes and he owned his actions. He held nothing back, even though it would have been easier, even though it would have been expected. But he was honest with himself and he was honest with me. He was candid. It was refreshing and I felt relieved to talk to someone so forthright.

In <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812993012/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0812993012&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=sm0fe-20&amp;linkId=3VDSRXCUZMLLQCDA" rel="nofollow">Creativity, Inc.</a><img alt="" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=sm0fe-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0812993012" style="border:none !important; height:1px; margin:0px !important; width:1px">, Ed Catmull brought back the need for candor: “Seek out people who are willing to level with you, and when you find them, hold them close.” Even though he was referring to it in the business setting, he could have as easily been referring to all people in our lives.

When I reflect on the best relationships I have, personal and professional, the ones I value most are the real ones, the candid ones. Because, if you have feedback, I want to hear it. I want you to agree with me, to tell me that my presentation failed to connect, that my writing completely missed the point, and yes, that that dress is not flattering.

But rarely do we get that feedback—because we are afraid to give it. We fear sounding crass and disrespectful. And we were taught that if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

When we hold back from saying the things we want to say, we do so with the belief that we are being nice. We don’t tell the people we are close to our honest opinion or offer all the facts. We shy away from exposing the complete truth as if silence protects our relationships. And by not telling others what they should hear, we are also protecting ourselves because it gives others no reason to provide us critical feedback in return.

When we choose to stay quiet, it affects growth—ours and those around us. When we hold back information, how can we improve or benefit when the response to "How was it?" is “Fine”?

Being candid is a skill, and it’s one you can get better at:
<h2>1. Candor is providing actionable feedback. It is not criticizing. </h2>
I’ve found that one of the best ways to do this&nbsp;is using a sequence I learned in a coaching course. It’s made up of two statements: "What worked well?" followed by "It could have been even better if..."

Recently I completed this with a coaching colleague. We agreed what she did well was ask the client clear questions, and by the end of the session she was able to steer the client to actionable steps. Then we agreed that it could have been even better if she allowed the conversation to lead itself instead of mentally prepping the next question while the client was still answering the previous one—and even better still if she would have taken a longer pause between topics to ensure the client’s thought process was complete.

By providing feedback in this sequence, we find a way of complimenting the other person (or ourselves) for what they have been able to accomplish, and we are able to comment in a format that is specific and actionable. Make sure to avoid vagueness—the person receiving the evaluation needs to know exactly what they could improve on.
<h2>2. Be proactive. </h2>
Admit your own flaws—when you are running 30 minutes late, don’t sugarcoat it as just “a few minutes.” Own up to your mistakes—call your customer and say you personally forgot to place their order right away and missed the next-day delivery cutoff time. Tell the truth—tell your colleague you recognize how hard public speaking is and that their speech would be even better if they recorded their practice sessions to become more aware of the number of times they say uhhh.

When you are the person who tells it like it is, the right way, people will respect you for your honesty. They’ll recognize your character as one that helps other people grow, improve, succeed—something very valuable in relationships, personal and professional.

<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-tips-to-rule-the-art-of-conversation" title="6 Tips to Rule the Art of Conversation | SUCCESS.com">Are you a smooth talker? Check out 6 tips to rule the art of conversation—and be able to talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime.</a>

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Kim Orlesky is a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/and-the-2015-successblogstars-are" target="_blank" title="And the 2015 #SUCCESSBlogStars Are... | SUCCESS.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">2015 SUCCESS BlogStars winner</a>, nominated and voted upon as one of the most influential self-development writers and bloggers on the web.

Being candid is a skill, and it’s one you can get better at.

Being candid is a skill, and it’s one you can get better at. | SUCCESS

2 Tips to Help You Tell It Like It Is

2 Tips to Help You Tell It Like It Is | SUCCESS

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Kim Orlesky

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