happy woman who reduced negative thoughts

Personal Development

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Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

<p>Here’s the truth: <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-bias-4589618" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Human beings are naturally negative</a>. When you’re driving down the freeway and there’s a wreck, people will sit in a long line complaining about the people up ahead who are rubbernecking to get a look—but when those complainers get up there, they’re the ones doing the rubbernecking.&nbsp;</p>



<p>We used to have a dog named Izzy that we got from the pound. Izzy was a good dog, but he was an escape artist. Once he got out, there was no getting him back. He’d be gone for a while. I live on a 50-acre farm that backs up to a 400-acre dairy farm, and he would always run there and wallow in the smelliest, messiest stuff he could find—as anyone who’s ever lived in the country with a dog knows they are wont to do if they have the opportunity. When Izzy would come back, I’d have to put a clothespin on my nose to bathe him.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 id="h-how-to-reduce-negative-thoughts">How to reduce negative thoughts</h2>



<p>Humans are that way, too. I don’t know why, but <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-good-and-bad-of-gossip/">negative gossip</a>, sensational stories—that’s what people are attracted to. The first thing you need to understand about negativity is that you’re fighting against an ingrained habit, and <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_overcome_your_brains_fixation_on_bad_things" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">you’ve got to fight it</a> consistently if you want to win. Here are some ways to reduce negative thoughts:</p>



<h3 id="h-1-take-control-of-what-goes-on-in-your-brain">1. Take control of what goes on in your brain.</h3>



<p>When you wake up in the middle of the night feeling worried about something, you’ve got to wrestle back control of your thoughts and turn them around. Read something positive. Speak well about yourself and your circumstances. Fertilize the positive and weed out the negative self-talk.</p>



<h3 id="h-2-harness-the-power-of-association">2. Harness the power of association.</h3>



<p>You’ve got to surround yourself with uplifting, positive people, because you are going to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-science-of-changing-other-people/">think like the people</a> you’re around the most. If you’re spending your whole life around negative, sour, cynical people, guess what? You’re going to become negative, sour and cynical. If you want to reduce those negative thoughts, spend time with people who build you up.</p>



<h3 id="h-3-start-right-now-being-happy">3. Start right now being happy.</h3>



<p>Life is short. If you’re waiting on circumstances to make you happy, you’ll always be disappointed. If you’re waiting to have plenty of money, get married or get the kids out of the house, you’re fooling yourself.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Just remember—the same circumstance you were all balled up and worried about five or 10 years ago, you probably can’t even remember now. I’m not saying there aren’t tragedies in life that take us out for a while, but those circumstances aren’t what many of us are dealing with. When I think about the happiest time in my adult life, it was when I was in my 30s. My kids were 2½ and 4 years old. They were so sweet at that age. My mom and dad were both healthy. I lived in a nice little house with a garden in the backyard. It was just an incredibly joyful time in my life.</p>



<p>I didn’t have much money. I couldn’t have imagined being where I am now, financially. It was tough <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-smart-money-rules-for-couples-living-on-one-income">living on one salary</a>, and I’m sure I was worried about all kinds of things. But as I look back, I just remember being so happy. Life was great. My happiness had nothing to do with whether I could afford a nice car or jet off to Paris.&nbsp;</p>



<p>You’ve got to work on the realization that 90% of the stuff you worry about right now would be insignificant if you found out tomorrow was your last day on Earth. As long as I’m working to make a positive difference in the world, I’m happy. And you can be, too.</p>



<h3 id="h-4-act-the-way-you-want-to-feel-and-you-ll-reduce-negative-thoughts">4. Act the way you want to feel and you'll reduce negative thoughts.</h3>



<p>You might be thinking, <em>I’m just not that happy-go-lucky kind of a person</em>. That’s fine. Just act like it for a while. I once had a pastor who said, “Act the way you want to feel and soon you’ll feel the way you act.” Give reprogramming yourself a try. Smile. Say nice things to other people. Even if you’re dealing with a horrible situation, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-30684-y" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">you’ll be more successful</a> in that battle <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/look-for-the-hidden-good-and-3-other-ways-to-react-to-problems/">if you’re positive</a>. Get some objectivity about how big your problems really are in relation to the big picture. Then smile until you actually feel like smiling.</p>



<p>The most important thing you can do to reduce negative thoughts is recognize <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-you-have-to-take-control-of-your-thoughts/">when you’re giving in</a> to negativity. If you pay attention, you can work on yourself, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/changing-the-narrative-how-to-silence-your-inner-critic-in-the-new-year/">change your self-talk</a>, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/positive-influencers/">surround yourself with supportive people</a> and let situations go rather than dwelling on them. Over time, your health, work and relationships will grow more positive.</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was published in November 2016 and has been updated. Photo by shurkin_son/Shutterstock</em></p>

Humans are naturally negative, but do you want to change that and be a more positive force? Follow these tips to reduce negative thoughts.

Humans are naturally negative, but do you want to change that and be a more positive force? Follow these tips to reduce negative thoughts. | SUCCESS

4 Ways to Say No to Negativity

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How to Reduce Negative Thoughts in 4 Simple Steps | SUCCESS

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John Addison is the Leadership Editor for SUCCESS and the author of Real Leadership: 9 Simple Practices for Leading and Living with Purpose, a Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-seller. Renowned for his insight and wisdom on leadership, personal development and success, John is a sought-after speaker and motivator. Read more on his blog, and follow John on Facebook and Twitter.

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John Addison

Business &amp; Branding

Business &amp; Branding Archives

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<p>Things were starting to unravel, but I needed to stay positive.</p>



<p>In 2005, Primerica’s almost decade-long partnership with Citigroup had reached the point where we just didn’t fit within their environment anymore. It was causing problems for both them and us. Around Christmas that year, things had escalated to the point where we had to call a meeting with their CEO to find a solution that would help both companies.</p>



<p>I’m a guy who always looks forward to the holidays. Regardless of what else is going on around me, I always find a way to enjoy them. I’ll be honest, though; with the financial future of so many people hanging in the balance, and an inevitable structure change looming at Primerica, that holiday season came with some added stress I hadn’t endured during past holiday seasons.</p>



<h2>How to Stay Positive When Things Get Overwhelming</h2>



<p>The stress and anxiety of preparing for the holidays coupled with the pressures of work can turn the most wonderful time of year <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-to-do-when-youve-got-the-holiday-blues/">into the most miserable</a> for even the most content person. I’m no exception. I could’ve easily let my mind become overwhelmed with all the difficulties we were having and our uncertain future and spent that Christmas in 2005 too troubled to enjoy the festivities. But I chose not to. Instead, I employed three easy strategies to stay positive. Ones that you might also find helpful when you’re feeling overwhelmed by all your holiday responsibilities.</p>



<h3 id="h-1-have-an-attitude-of-gratitude">1. Have an attitude of gratitude.</h3>



<p>Studies show that expressing gratitude can <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/322508405_Gratitude_Predicts_Hope_and_Happiness_A_Two-Study_Assessment_of_Traits_and_States" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">help improve your mood</a>, <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55917f64e4b0cd3b4705b68c/t/62745d8d20bf6e719a9d44b1/1651793295587/gu.ocampo.algoe.oveis.2022.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">modulate your stress response</a> and <a href="https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-021-00559-w" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">increase your motivation</a>—all by just looking around and being thankful for your blessings.</p>



<p>I was worried about what was going on with our company that year. But I was thankful Rick Williams and I were at the helm of Primerica and could lead the charge to secure the financial future of our sales force. I knew he and I would do everything in our power to make sure they were taken care of.</p>



<p>Even though your job stresses you out, be grateful you have a job. A lot of people are <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-stay-motivated-while-job-hunting-during-the-holidays/">going into this holiday season</a> without one. Be grateful for your health. You may feel run-down, but you’re healthy and spending your holiday at home instead of in a hospital room somewhere. Even if you couldn’t get everything you wanted for everyone on your holiday list, be grateful you could <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-ultimate-holiday-gift-guide-for-entrepreneurs-9-to-5ers-and-executives/">do something for them</a> and aren’t like the thousands who couldn’t do anything for their loved ones. You have plenty to be thankful for this year. Remember the positives the next time you start to feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiety.</p>



<h3 id="h-2-have-mercy-on-yourself">2. Have mercy on yourself.</h3>



<p>We love giving to others this time of year, but don’t forget the importance of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-self-love-is-important-and-how-to-practice-it/">gifting yourself with self-love</a>. You are one person. Stop thinking you can do all the things on your never-ending work and holiday to-do lists alone. Delegate. That’s what you have people for. And when you start to get overwhelmed, take a breather. The company won’t go under and your holiday celebration won’t be canceled if you have to take a few hours or even a day to recharge. You might not make every party you have an invite to, but that’s OK. You did your best and you need to let yourself off the hook.</p>



<h3 id="h-3-stay-present">3. Stay present.</h3>



<p>You can’t undo the past or control the future. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-you-should-focus-on-what-you-can-control/">What you can control</a> is what is happening right now and how you react to it.</p>



<p>I could’ve spent that entire holiday in 2005 looking for earlier signs that things were unraveling with Citi or fretting about what 2006 held for Primerica and our sales force. It wouldn’t have done me a bit of good and it would’ve made me and everyone around me miserable. The only thing I could worry about was what needed to be done right then—in that day and that moment.</p>



<p>That’s all you can do, too. When you start to feel like all the holiday demands are pulling you in 10,000 different directions, and visions of missed deadlines, unwrapped gifts and long shopping lines start to dance in your head, take a deep breath. Ask yourself what you need to do in this hour. Not in the next hour or the next day, but in the 60 minutes you are currently operating in. Then do it again in the next hour. And keep doing it until your to-do list is all checked off.</p>



<p>I hope you can find joy in your holiday—and continue to employ these strategies to stay positive once the holidays have passed. You can use them every day to help you get through your hard times. I certainly used them when the tides were starting to change with Citigroup and to help get through some of the toughest and darkest days in both my professional and personal life before and after—and they’ve made all my seasons brighter.</p>



<p>Happy holidays to you and yours! I hope you all have a positive, joyous and peaceful holiday season!</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article was published in December 2015 and has been updated. Photo by</em> <em>PH888/Shutterstock</em></p>

When you’re feeling stressed about work, adding on the pressure of the holidays can be overwhelming. Here are three tips to stay positive.

When you’re feeling stressed about work, adding on the pressure of the holidays can be overwhelming. Here are three tips to stay positive. | SUCCESS

The Holidays Can Be Overwhelming—Remember These 3 Things to Stay Positive

How to Stay Positive When the Holidays Get Overwhelming | SUCCESS

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3 Action Steps for an Honest Self-Assessment

<p>Do you believe in yourself? In your abilities? Whether you do or don’t, now is a good time for a self-assessment. As a matter of fact, it’s always a good time.</p>



<p>Self-assessment is an ongoing process that requires being <a href="https://www.lifehack.org/804051/inner-voice#why-dont-we-listen-to-our-inner-voice" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">connected to your inner voice</a>. These days, many people appear so plugged into the world through their devices and<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-social-media-is-ruining-your-self-esteem-and-how-to-stop-it"> </a>social media that they’re not connected to themselves, and that is no way to help <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/be-better-at-decision-making/">make better decisions</a>. Self-assessment means being your own counselor, developing your own views and cultivating the ability to look closely at where you are so you can think through your problems.</p>



<p>Use the following action steps to effectively assess yourself:</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-develop-confidence"><strong>1. Develop confidence</strong>.</h2>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-art-of-true-confidence/">You must develop confidence</a> to take actions that will advance you and your business or career. But<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-keys-to-building-your-confidence"> </a>building confidence is not as simple as it sounds. The most successful people are those who can manage the contradictions of life, who are aware of—but not constrained by—their limitations. Insecurity disables us from conquering our inner demons and making something of our lives. Arrogance makes us come off as know-it-alls, which erodes our level of influence and eventually causes people to stop listening to us. Confidence is a constant work in progress to maintain the balancing act between pride and uncertainty.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-talk-it-out"><strong>2. Talk it out.</strong></h2>



<p>You need to surround yourself with trusted friends and mentors who will be honest with you about your performance and what areas need improvement. Listen to them. Listen to yourself.</p>



<p>This ability to simultaneously doubt and trust yourself is at the core of effective self-assessment. For example, many people find themselves repeatedly crashing into the same brick wall, never changing course. If I find myself blocked at every turn—whether because of people above me or perhaps by some competitive situation—I step back and regroup. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-silver-lining-of-every-failure/">When we encounter multiple failures</a>,<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-handle-adversity-dont-whine-dont-complain-dont-make-excuses"> </a>our nature is to blame circumstances, other people, the equity of the universe. But we also have to step back and ask, <em>Could it be me?</em></p>



<p>This is where the ability to have an internal discussion with yourself comes in, where you can disengage and take an objective look at the situation. That perspective is critical to determining whether your actions are helping or hurting you and your organization.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-make-your-move"><strong>3. Make your move.</strong></h2>



<p>You can carefully <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/janinemaclachlan/2021/09/28/draw-your-own-map-to-success/?sh=345bb67c1700" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">plot your own success</a> and evaluate your effectiveness as you go along, but at the end of the day, you have to get out there and play in traffic. You are never going to be totally trained or prepared; there is no schedule of required classes. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-ways-to-start-connecting-with-people/">You have to meet people</a>,<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-how-to-build-good-relationships"> </a>develop relationships and swap best practices. You have to make things happen. Trust <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-daily-tips-for-building-self-confidence/">your healthy self-confidence</a> and inner gyroscope to keep you on the right course.</p>



<p class="has-small-font-size"><em>This article originally appeared in <a href="https://store.success.com/by-media/success-magazine-march-2017-travis-kalanick.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the March 2017 issue</a> of </em>SUCCESS<em> magazine and has been updated. Photo by JacobLund/Shutterstock</em></p>

Self-assessment means being your own counselor, developing your own views and cultivating the ability to look closely at where you are so you can think through your problems.

Self-assessment means being your own counselor, developing your own views and cultivating the ability to look closely at where you are so you can think through your problems. | SUCCESS

3 Action Steps for an Honest Self-Assessment | SUCCESS

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Professional Growth

Professional Growth Archives

Professional Growth | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

Have you ever asked someone how he or she is doing and immediately wish you could stuff the words back into your mouth? It’s because <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-toxic-personalities-successful-people-avoid/">these people radiate negativity</a>. They gripe about how terrible life is, and how difficult things are for them. They drag you down by how they view the world.

I always tell people that if somebody asks you how you’re doing, the appropriate response is “unbelievable.” Because whether life is awful or wonderful for you at the moment, that answer is still accurate. There is no reason to drag others down with your negativity. If you react to struggles with as much positivity as possible, your behavior will encourage others to do the same.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related:</em> <a class="row-title" href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-power-of-positive-thinking/" aria-label="“The Power of Positive Thinking” (Edit)">The Power of Positive Thinking</a></strong></blockquote>
People are naturally drawn to leaders who see the world through a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-become-an-optimist/">lens of optimism</a>. Nobody wants to work for a manager who thinks the organization will fail. No one dreams of being mentored by a boss who doesn’t believe in his or her company’s ability to overcome hardships. People want to be led by those who see the world with hope, excitement and happiness.

&nbsp;
<h3 style="text-align: center;">The best leaders are guided by optimism.</h3>
&nbsp;

Optimistic leaders have three main qualities:
<h3>1. They anticipate the joy in life.</h3>
When I was a child, I used to love the anticipation of Christmas. On November 1, I would make construction paper rings that had the number of days until Christmas on them, and I’d tear one off each day. Christmas itself was fun, but I enjoyed the days leading up to it more. I’m the same way now. I’m always relishing the anticipation of joyous occasions.

Great leaders don’t dwell on the challenges their organizations face, but rather anticipate the exciting opportunities to come.
<h3>2. They let gratitude guide them.</h3>
Life is short, and we need to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/rohn-5-ways-to-be-more-grateful-on-the-daily/">be grateful</a> for it. My father, who I was very close to, passed away recently at 92. I was an only child, and my mother died many years ago. My father lived an amazing life. He was healthy up until the very end. I remember talking to him in his last weeks of life, and he said, “I just can’t believe I’m this old.” Life flies by, and we need to be grateful for each passing moment.

Exceptional leaders regularly thank their team members for their work. They let them know they appreciate their efforts and value their commitment.
<h3>3. They expect to win.</h3>
Optimistic leaders <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/5-things-you-need-for-a-successful-mindset/">have the mindse</a>t that victory is always within reach. They know they can win. It’s better to be disappointed in losing than expecting you’ll fail. If you expect to win, your hopeful mindset will ripple throughout your organization.

Living with an optimistic mindset guarantees that whatever life hands you, you’re going to be happier. You’re going to be more fulfilled. You’re going to cope with challenges better. And you’re going to have a positive impact on those around you.
<blockquote><strong><em>Related:</em></strong> <strong><a class="row-title" href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-happy-successful-optimistic-people-know-about-life/" aria-label="“What Happy, Successful, Optimistic People Know About Life” (Edit)">What Happy, Successful, Optimistic People Know About Life</a></strong></blockquote>
&nbsp;

<em>This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.success.com/shop-all/success-magazine-fall-2018-jeff-bezos.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fall 2018 issue of SUCCESS magazine</a>.</em>

The best leaders are guided by optimism. When things get tough, shift your mindset to have a positive impact on those around you.

The best leaders are guided by optimism. | SUCCESS

3 Qualities of Optimistic Leaders

3 Qualities of Optimistic Leaders | SUCCESS

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<p>Not everyone is going to think and act like you do. This might seem obvious, but you would be surprised how many leaders I see who get frustrated when their team members express differing views. One of the most critical skills of a good leader is empathy. Don’t confuse empathy with sympathy. Sympathy is sharing another’s feelings. Empathy is seeing and understanding where people are coming from.</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/20-ways-to-build-empathy"><strong>20 Ways to Build Empathy​</strong></a></p>

<p>A good leader understands that each member of his or her team will have very different thoughts, ideas and beliefs about how the world works. That’s the beauty of diversity. The leader’s role is to unify a diverse group of people by identifying what motivates them individually, and then pairing those individual skills with complementary ones. Below you’ll find the top three characteristics of empathetic leaders.</p>

<h3>1. They set aside their personal viewpoints.</h3>

<p>Empathetic leaders understand that there isn’t only one solution to any problem. They’re willing to set aside their own beliefs about a topic, and instead open their minds to another perspective. They’re less concerned with being right than with understanding. They listen to understand rather than respond. They listen with their eyes, ears, instincts and heart. This isn’t an easy task. The ego is persistent, always lurking just beneath the surface, ready to pop up when you least expect it.</p>

<p>If you’re struggling to be open to others’ thoughts and opinions, try writing each perspective down on paper. The list will serve as a visual reminder that your option isn’t always the best, or even the only, option.</p>

<h3>2. They invest their time in people.</h3>

<p>This isn’t an autocracy. You are not the king or queen of a country. The people who show up to work for you every day bring value to your organization. But that doesn’t mean they’ll blindly follow you. Spend some time investing in your team. That could be as simple as monthly team-building events. It could be handwritten notes on Friday mornings. Whatever you choose, don’t just go through the motions. Be curious about your team members. Ask about their backgrounds, their families, their dreams. Implement development programs so your team can continue to learn and grow. If you invest in them, they’ll invest in you.</p>

<h3>3. They continue learning and adapting.</h3>

<p>You don’t know everything. An empathetic leader understands the importance of being a lifelong student. Challenge your beliefs, assumptions and absolutes. The world is changing; be prepared to change with it.&nbsp;</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-the-empathetic-leader-is-the-best-leader"><strong>Why the Empathetic Leader Is the Best Leader​</strong></a></p>

<p>&nbsp;</p>

<p>This article originally appeared in the March 2018 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine.</p>


A great leader must understand his or her team.

A great leader must understand his or her team. | SUCCESS

To Be a Better Leader, You Need to Empathize

To Be a Better Leader, You Need to Empathize | SUCCESS

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<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">I</span>n 1982, seven people died in Chicago when bottles of Tylenol were <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/tylenol-murders-1982">laced with potassium cyanide</a>. The crime was tragic and senseless. People were afraid. If they couldn’t feel safe buying over-the-counter medicine from their trusted pharmacy, where could they feel safe?</p>
<p class="BODY">Johnson &amp; Johnson, the company that owns the pain-reliever brand, could have done nothing. After all, the investigation revealed that the Tylenol was tampered with post-production. It wasn’t technically the company’s fault. They could have hidden behind those results. But they didn’t.</p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-why-real-leaders-do-what-is-right/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Why Real Leaders Do What Is Right</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY">Instead the company issued warnings to hospitals and drugstores. They ordered production to cease. They recalled around 31 million bottles of Tylenol, costing them an estimated $100 million in retail value, not to mention the additional loss that comes with diminished faith in a brand. But it was undoubtedly the right thing to do—their actions have been lauded as one of the best displays of public relations <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-crisis-can-create-opportunity">in the face of a crisis</a>.</p>
<p class="BODY">Over time, Johnson &amp; Johnson recovered from its loss. In fact, the company’s response resulted in a strong comeback that positioned them as one of the top brands for household goods, which is where it stands today. It also caused stricter security, warning labels and tamper-proof seals to prevent a similar tragedy.</p>
<p class="BODY">There is an important lesson here about <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-what-basketball-can-teach-us-about-responsibility">responsibility</a>. Taking responsibility isn’t important only when a crisis can be blamed on you or your actions. Just like in the Tylenol case, the blame might be on a single person with bad intentions. But if it’s your company or your project, you own it. So you have to take ownership. Don’t be the person who hides behind flimsy excuses.</p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/stop-making-excuses-for-who-and-where-you-are">Stop Making Excuses for Who and Where You Are</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY">The next step is to work toward repairing the reputation. When something goes awry, there are ripple effects of negativity. People might view your organization or product—and you by association—as something they should be wary of. Now is the time to step forward, be transparent and lay out your plans for <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/15-trust-building-practices-for-leaders">regaining trust</a>.</p>
<p class="BODY">For Johnson &amp; Johnson, that meant putting their customers’ safety ahead of their revenue loss. Although you’ll likely never deal with a decision that morally clear, there are times when the needs of your business must fall in second to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-things-you-want-your-customers-saying-about-your-business">the trust and loyalty of your clients</a>.</p>
Make a plan, and then act on that plan every single day. Building trust takes time and dedication. You can come back stronger. People respect those who own up and take the necessary measures to repair mistakes.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/calming-leader/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">3 Ways for Leaders to Be a Calming Force</a></strong></p>
<p class="rteindent1">This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/success-magazine-january-2018-chip-and-joanna-gaines.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">January 2018 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.</p>

Own it. Earn respect by taking responsibility.&nbsp;

Own it. Earn respect by taking responsibility.&nbsp; | SUCCESS

How to Take Responsibility in a Crisis

How to Take Responsibility in a Crisis | SUCCESS

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<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">I</span> once had a team member (we’ll call her June) who never seemed fazed by any crisis. She seemed to lack a sense of urgency, no matter the situation. She was very thorough and hard-working, but her pace and attitude rarely fluctuated.</p>
<p class="BODY">So even though we’re talking about the opposite—people who consider everything an emergency—I’ll start by saying that I would always rather have someone who overreacts than underreacts. They are often your <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/3-productivity-habits-of-successful-people">most productive</a> and attentive employees. That’s not to say the Team Member Who Cried Wolf should be left to their own devices. Quite the opposite. Here are my strategies.</p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/naturally-resilient/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">5 Traits of Naturally Resilient People</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY"></p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">Problems might have different symptoms, but they often have the same antidotes.</h3>
<p class="BODY"></p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-the-empathetic-leader-is-the-best-leader">Show empathy.</a></h2>
<p class="BODY">When this person approaches you with something they consider urgent, don’t make the mistake of rolling your eyes or showing disbelief. Are they really stirring up drama for the sake of drama? Probably not. This dedicated employee is likely <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/25-successful-peoples-thoughts-on-the-power-of-passion">passionate about his or her role</a> in the company. This person might have come from an organization that praised urgent behavior, mislabeling it as heroism or passion.</p>
<p class="BODY">Treat this person with the same empathy and understanding as an unproductive employee who struggles to meet deadlines. Problems might have different symptoms, but they often have the same antidotes.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">2. Separate the critical.</h2>
<p class="BODY">Don’t be tempted to scratch the itch of busyness. Urgent people tend to bounce around, accomplishing 20 small tasks on 20 different projects but don’t make significant progress in any one area.</p>
<p class="BODY">Help this person understand that busyness doesn’t equal productivity. Pair them with an employee who is able to step back and see the bigger picture. Offer some <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-train-your-brain-to-focus">focus tips</a>, such as closing email and communication apps for set periods of time. This will help them resist the urge to respond immediately to every notification that pops up.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">3. Be the calm.</h2>
<p class="BODY">I like to say that a leader should be a human Alka-Seltzer. When you’re in charge of a team of any size, you’re bound to manage all types of personalities. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/build-a-successful-team/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">That’s the beauty of teamwork.</a> Each person brings their own unique set of strengths that, when paired with complementary strength sets, have the power to achieve amazing things within an organization.</p>
<a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/strong-leaders/">Your job as a leader</a> is to be a calming force, one who stands strong and steady when the winds of various emotions attempt to rock the boat. When there is a legitimate crisis, your calming force needs to be at its strongest. Panicked people can quickly trample or be trampled by others; don’t amplify that by allowing chaos to ensue. Leadership is not a position; it’s a disposition.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-7-personality-traits-of-a-great-leader">7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader</a></strong></p>


This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/magazines/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">December 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.

How to lead someone who thinks everything is urgent

How to lead someone who thinks everything is urgent | SUCCESS

3 Ways for Leaders to Be a Calming Force

3 Ways for Leaders to Be a Calming Force | SUCCESS

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<p class="BODY">At my 50th birthday party, I had the amazing opportunity to hear timeless country music stars at a tribute concert for the late Guy Clark at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee. I was starstruck watching Vince Gill, Rodney Crowell, Jerry Jeff Walker and others perform and tell stories about Clark on the same stage.</p>

<p class="BODY">At the end of the concert, every performer got onstage to perform “Old Friends,” one of Clark’s hits from the late ’80s. One particular line hit me.</p>

<p class="BODY">“Old friends, they shine like diamonds. Old friends, you can always call. Old friends, Lord, you can’t buy ’em. You know it’s old friends after all.”</p>

<p class="BODY">With tears in my eyes, I was reminded (again) of the important things. As time goes on, you learn that the friendships, relationships and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/this-is-the-key-to-a-successful-partnership-and-a-successful-life">partnerships you build</a> in life are what make you. They are the measure of your success. People, not awards, are what you will remember in your declining years.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-leadership-lessons-i-learned-from-my-family/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Family</a></strong></p>

<p class="BODY">Relationships aren’t easy, but they’re necessary. And every one of the people you surround yourself with has a role to play in your continued growth—some special people might fill multiple roles for you, but rest assured that everyone close to you serves a purpose. These are the nine vital roles I’ve discovered in my life, and the ones I believe every successful person needs.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38242 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_sun.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Believer</h2>

<p class="BODY">When you feel <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-handle-fear-and-failure-like-a-boss">fear and self-doubt</a> creeping into your mind, The Believer is there to remind you of your capabilities. Don’t confuse this with someone who tells you only what you want to hear. That doesn’t help anyone improve. The Believer can be a parent, spouse, best friend or business partner, who knows where you started and where you are now. This person is realistic about your accomplishments and isn’t afraid to speak up when you’re wrong. The Believer knows <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/4-actionable-life-changes-to-reach-your-potential">your potential</a> and will be a positive force when negativity clouds your brain.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38243 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_apple.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Teacher</h2>

<p class="BODY">If you subscribe to this magazine and read my monthly columns, this person won’t be a surprise to you. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/failure-winston-churchill/">Winston Churchill</a> is my greatest inspiration and my greatest teacher. I think he’s so inspiring because of his stance on failure—another great teacher. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts,” he said. How powerful is that? You will fail a million times in your life. But what if you took each of those failures as an opportunity to learn and grow and act differently? Churchill lived that principle. Your Teacher can be someone from history, a respected elder or someone in the cubicle next to you. But the bottom line is this: When The Teacher is speaking, listen.</p>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">The Believer knows your potential and will be a positive force when negativity clouds your brain.</h3>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38244 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_hand.jpg" style="width: 15%; margin: 4px; float: left;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Pusher</h2>

<p class="BODY">I was an only child. I grew up in a little town in southern Georgia where everyone knew everyone else. My parents were the lifeblood of my success because they taught me what it is and isn’t. They taught me patience, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/try-these-30-random-acts-of-kindness-to-brighten-someones-day">kindness</a> and communication. That’s what a Pusher does. It’s not someone who leads with an iron fist, who inspires with fear. It’s someone who pushes you to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-better-is-something-you-become">be better</a> by example. Their example is how I’ve tried to live my life as a leader, a husband, father and a friend.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/the-3-types-of-people-you-need-in-your-life">The 3 Types of People You Need in Your Life</a></strong></p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38245 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_heart.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Lover</h2>

<p class="BODY">Don’t get caught up on the title of this one. The Lover isn’t always a romantic person, though in my case, it is. My wife, Loveanne, is my biggest supporter. She keeps my best interests at heart at all times because she loves me. Now don’t get The Lover confused with someone who will blindly follow you on any path you choose. Loveanne is the first person to remind me that it’s time to slow down, re-evaluate, reprioritize and strategize. She’s also the person who <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-tips-to-become-a-better-listener">listens patiently</a> when I need to talk through <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/decision-making/">a tough decision</a> in the middle of the night. Cherish this person. They will be your rock.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38246 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_light.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Thinker</h2>

<p class="BODY">There is always one person in a group who seems to have all of the answers. That’s my former business partner. He’s not a know-it-all; he rarely feels the need to correct or give an opinion. No, what makes him so intelligent <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-traits-you-need-to-be-successful-your-iq-isnt-one-of-them">isn’t measured on an IQ scale</a>. He’s a listener, a watcher, a thinker. He takes a moment to gather the facts, organize and analyze them. This person balances out the dreamer in us. When we want to rush full-speed ahead, they pause to make sure the data makes sense. Listen to this person. Include them in all of your big decisions.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38247 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_trohpy.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Achiever</h2>

<p class="BODY">Everyone comes across someone in their lives who inspires them to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-elon-musk-quotes-that-will-inspire-you-to-dream-bigger">dream bigger</a> than they once did. One of my oldest and dearest friends comes to mind. He has always been a benchmark of success for me. The man just doesn’t slow down. But it’s not just his hustle I admire; it’s his inability to accept failure. We’ve all experienced failure throughout our careers and this friend is no different. Instead of caving to the thought of <em>I&nbsp;can’t do this</em>, he stands up and finds a new (and often better) path. The Achiever is the photo on your vision board, the motivation when obstacles arise, the mutual celebration when you&nbsp;succeed.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/people-who-lift-you-up/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Why You Need to Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You Up</a></strong></p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38248 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_anchor.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Anchor</h2>

<p class="BODY">My assistant, Dayna, is my Anchor. She’s been handling my chaotic schedule for many years. When I’m eager to say yes to any opportunity that seems like it could benefit my career, she’s the voice in my ear that says, “We can’t say yes to everything.” The Anchor is realistic, grounded, trusted and reliable. They often know you better than you know yourself. They know your limits. They understand when a great opportunity isn’t great right now. Treat this person with respect, and they’ll be your guiding force to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-ways-to-turn-your-dreams-into-reality">achieving your dreams</a>.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38249 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_scale.jpg" style="width: 15%; float: left; margin: 4px;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Scale</h2>

<p class="BODY">Work-life balance is almost a cliché. We hear advice on all sides about where to be for how long, what to prioritize and how to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-leave-work-at-the-door">leave work at the door</a>. But the truth is, balance is personal. What works in my life could never work for a 23-year-old single parent. We have different dreams, priorities and realities that simply don’t fit in the same box. The Scale is your priority. For me, it’s my two boys. When I was in the early stages of my career, I was so determined to work harder and climb higher. I&nbsp;wanted to build better lives for them. My balance was drawing a line in the sand. I simply wouldn’t miss important events in their lives. If that meant a red-eye flight after a long day of meetings to be home when they woke up on their birthdays, so be it. The Scale is difficult, and often pushed to the back burner. Avoid that temptation.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD"><img alt="The 9 People You Need to Be Successful" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38250 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/addison_glove.jpg" style="width: 15%; margin: 4px; float: left;" typeof="foaf:Image" />The Fighter</h2>

<p class="BODY">Fighters are fierce but not aggressive. They are the cornerstone of a solid team. The Fighter might be your top employee. For me, it wasn’t one person, but a type of person. Whenever I hired a new team member, the interview process wasn’t just a conversation between the two of us. My team of other Fighters needed to meet the potential candidate because they can sense the spark of intensity in another Fighter. Loyalty isn’t about fear; <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-tried-and-true-steps-to-building-trust">it’s about trust</a>, communication and transparency. I wanted this person to see my company from the inside out. We’re not just making sure they’re a good fit for us, but that we are a good fit for them. After all, a company is only as strong as its weakest link.</p>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">People, not awards, are what you will remember in your declining years.</h3>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<p>As you read through the nine roles, you no doubt identified some of the people in your life who fit the descriptions, and I hope you took a moment to consider <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-5-ways-to-be-more-grateful-on-the-daily">how grateful</a> you should be to have their support. Everyone close to you has a role to play. If you don’t know who fills any of these roles, think deeply about what you should be asking of your friends and family to keep you moving forward, or consider expanding your tight-knit circle to include people who will push you to reach your potential.</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/3-ways-to-make-your-relationships-the-best-they-can-be">3 Ways to Make Your Relationships the Best They Can Be</a></strong></p>

<p class="rteindent1">&nbsp;</p>

<p>This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/magazines/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">November 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.</p>


‘Old friends, they shine like diamonds. Old friends, you can always call. Old friends, Lord, you can’t buy ‘em. You know it’s old friends after all.’

‘Old friends, they shine like diamonds. Old friends, you can always call. Old friends, Lord, you can’t buy ‘em. You know it’s old friends after all.’ | SUCCESS

The 9 People You Need to Be Successful

The 9 People You Need to Be Successful | SUCCESS

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<p>Life offers us plenty of opportunities to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-7-traits-of-the-most-resilient-people">practice resilience</a>.</p>



<p>If you were in Texas or Florida over the summer and everything you’ve ever owned has been destroyed, you’re dealing with a serious problem. If you’re on the front lines of a battlefield or facing terminal cancer, you’re in a crisis. I’m not going to be trite and tell you how to handle those personal challenges.</p>



<p>But that’s not the kind of resilience most of us have to muster up on a daily basis. For most of us, life’s challenges are smaller, but still demanding. Maybe your budget is out of balance and your finances are rocky, or business is bad. Maybe you have a tough relationship with your in-laws or your team members. Maybe you tried that new business venture and failed to get any new clients out of the gate.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-daily-habits-to-build-resiliency">8 Daily Habits to Build Resiliency</a></strong></p>
</blockquote>



<p>If you want to develop your natural resilience—because we all have it—I’ve found honing these traits brings out your best in times of trouble.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-get-perspective">1. Get perspective. </h2>



<p>One of the most important things to have in life is a sense of perspective. When we were wrestling with an IPO and trying to fight for the financial well-being of hundreds of thousands of people, let me tell you, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/top-of-mind-6-ways-to-stay-productive-under-pressure">the pressure was on</a>. I could have taken all of that on personally, and there were certainly times when I felt like, <em>Oh my God, the weight of the world is on me.</em> But then I’d ask myself, <em>What’s the worst thing they can do?</em> The answer was they could fire me. They could tell me to go home. They could say, “Pack up your crap and get out of here.” That’s it. And that’s not world-ending. For 90-plus percent of the challenges you’re dealing with, it’s important to keep your perspective. When you step back and see how big of a deal your challenge really is or isn’t, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/ask-these-questions-to-reframe-your-perspective-on-life">that new perspective</a> gives you the courage to go forward and to deal with what’s next.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-be-realistic-about-where-you-are">2. Be realistic about where you are.</h2>



<p>I’ve seen a lot of people dealing with tough business situations spend all their time lying to themselves and trying to convince everybody that things are <em>here</em> when they’re really over <em>there</em>. Wherever you are in life, it’s important to know where the ball is. Are you saying it’s in the middle of the fairway when it’s in the rough? You can’t create a strategy to deal with a situation if you’re not willing to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-3-ways-to-face-your-fears-with-courage">be realistic and face it</a>. Once you’ve faced the full picture, you have the ability to think clearly about how to move forward and get other people’s help in the process.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-take-responsibility">3. Take responsibility.</h2>



<p><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/stop-making-excuses-for-who-and-where-you-are">Stop blaming</a> everybody and everything else for the situation. Don’t spend your time arguing and debating about what happened and why, and who started what and when. Too often, a business challenge looks like the scene of a train wreck where there’s four people actually trying to save passengers and everybody else is standing to the side of the road trying to figure out who to blame. Instead, figure out what’s next and take responsibility for the part you can change. There’s a time and place for stepping back and asking how to avoid doing this again. But in the middle of a challenge, you need to focus on what you can control and the next steps. What do you need to do to make things better now?</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/wp-v2/wp-admin/post.php?post=1769&amp;action=edit">How to Stop Making Excuses (and Start Making Things Happen)</a></strong></p>
</blockquote>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-have-a-sense-of-humor">4. Have a sense of humor.</h2>



<p>You need to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-ways-to-laugh-more">get good at laughing</a> at yourself because everybody else already is. Cultivate the ability to loosen things up. I’m not talking about being disrespectful when something upsetting happens. But we all know people who act like everything in their life is a huge, dramatic, God-awful thing. Instead, laugh at life and move forward. It’s very important to have a short memory. Don’t be one of those people who, when somebody does something that makes things go wrong for them, for the rest of their life they nurture a grudge. Lighten up, loosen up, and let’s go win.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-have-courage">5. Have courage.</h2>



<p>Life is a challenge. It’s tough. Winning and succeeding are not easy. Nothing comes easy. You’ve got to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-bold-exercises-to-work-your-courage-muscle">have courage</a> to get up and go every day. You’ve got to have a little bit of backbone in the face of criticism or failure. Realize that everything isn’t going to be sunshine and lollipops. Life isn’t fair. If you’re looking for fair, they have them in the fall and they sell cotton candy at them. But life is also full of ways to win. When life challenges you, have the courage to accept what’s happened and move to a better place.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p><strong><em>Related:</em> Why You Should Keep Pushing Through Your Setbacks</strong></p>
</blockquote>

Bring out your best in times of trouble. | SUCCESS

5 Traits of Naturally Resilient People

5 Traits of Naturally Resilient People | SUCCESS

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<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">W</span>hen I was in graduate school, I took a class called “Managerial Accounting and Control.” The professor explained leadership like this: The bigger gear turns just a little bit every so often. The smaller gears are rotating constantly to turn the bigger gear just an inch. It’s a beautiful, interdependent machine.</p>
<p class="BODY">It takes time and effort for the bigger gear to make a full rotation. For that reason, the bigger gear needs to continue turning in the same direction. If it’s constantly changing directions, the little gears waste energy starting and stopping. Eventually the gear teeth wear down, and the machine doesn’t move as quickly or efficiently as it once did.</p>
<p class="BODY">The same goes for <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/the-5-pillars-of-authentic-leadership">leadership</a>. It takes self-control to stay consistent in your direction and focus. If you’re shifting based on that day’s mood or an enticing short-term solution, your team will waste precious time and energy that could lead to long-term growth.</p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/when-you-dont-feel-motivated/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">What to Do If You Don't Feel Motivated</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY">I recently read an article about self-control in <em>Harvard Business Review</em>. It explained how many of us view self-control as a “gritting of the teeth” against temptation. Although self-control is a vital part of growth and development, the author wrote that we’re thinking about it the wrong way:</p>
<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">If you’re struggling with self-control, don’t spend your energy pretending you’re not struggling.</h3>
<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>
<p class="BODY">“Energy is the fuel for self-control. We each have one reservoir of energy to get things done. Each act that requires self-control progressively depletes this energy reservoir, whether it’s when you use it to resist a piece of cake, or focus single-mindedly on a difficult problem, or stay calm when you feel provoked.”</p>
<p class="BODY">When my fleeting emotions are in control, I’m stealing energy from more meaningful tasks, such as strategizing the organization’s next move or making time for an employee struggling with a difficult task. We must be careful to expend our limited energy resources on things that matter.</p>
<p class="BODY">If you’re struggling with self-control, don’t spend your energy pretending you’re not struggling. Instead take 20 minutes and read a book, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/what-i-learned-from-keeping-a-gratitude-journal">write in a journal</a> or take a walk outside. You’ll use less energy and distract yourself, all while building your self-control muscle. After a while, this will become habit.</p>
People are looking up to you. The organization can’t be driven by whatever mood you’re in that day. Be the person who <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-what-basketball-can-teach-us-about-responsibility">accepts the responsibility</a> of being the rudder of the ship. Be aimed in the right direction, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/4-powerful-questions-to-help-you-refocus-your-goals">focus your energy</a> on meaningful things and stay the course.
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-self-control-is-so-important">Why Self-Control Is So Important</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1">&nbsp;</p>
<p class="BODY">This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/success-magazine-october-2017-brendon-burchard.html?_ga=2.162206142.381148379.1505139658-1193436915.1465829578" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">October 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.</p>

If you’re struggling with self-control, don’t spend your energy pretending you’re not struggling.&nbsp;

If you’re struggling with self-control, don’t spend your energy pretending you’re not struggling.&nbsp; | SUCCESS

How to Build Self-Control

How to Build Self-Control | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/main/blogposts/howtobuildselfcontrol.jpg

<p>We all start out as kids with big dreams; we want to be movie stars, astronauts and sports superstars. <em>We want to be somebody.</em> But then we get out into the real world and it starts beating us down, and then we start beating ourselves down. We get to the point where we have little or no belief in ourselves.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/when-you-dont-feel-motivated/">What to Do If You Don't Feel Motivated</a></strong></p></blockquote>



<p>I always tell people they need to be boldly humble. I realize this is a tricky thing, having a healthy self-esteem but not <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/3-tips-to-tame-your-ego-when-it-threatens-success">having an out-of-control ego</a>. It can feel like a contradiction; life is full of them. But you have to develop the ability to find a healthy balance between the two. You have to be able to manage and move through these contradictions in a healthy way.</p>



<p>To achieve what you want in life, you <em>have</em> to build your belief in yourself. At the same time, though, it’s critical that, whatever level you reach, you maintain humility. Here’s what’s worked for me.</p>



<h2 id="h-1-examine-your-thoughts">1. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/your-thoughts-matter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Examine your thoughts. </a></h2>



<p>There are two parts to this. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/people-who-lift-you-up/">Look at whom you spend your time with.</a> Whom do you talk to? Whom do you listen to? People often surround themselves with people who drain their battery, who are negative and who don’t build them up. They become kind of a mutual teardown society. Surround yourself with people who are positive, who build you up and who help you create belief in yourself.</p>



<p>I was an only child raised in a small community. But my mom and dad told me I could do anything in the world. My mom told me I could be president, that I could accomplish anything. She always gave me a high level of belief in myself. My parents’ friends echoed this kind of motivational support. I was surrounded not by wealth, but by upbeat, positive, possibility thinking people.</p>



<p>Surround yourself with people who build you up. The power of association and disassociation is a very important power for you to exercise in your life. Get away from people who make you feel like crap and get around people who give you belief.</p>



<p>The second part is what you read and watch. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/5-life-changing-books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">What are you reading?</a> Is it about achievement? I like to read biographies about people who do things and accomplish things in life. By doing that, I realize they go through self-doubt, struggles and wanting to quit—everything that I go through—but they find ways to persevere through those things and overcome. Whether on the computer, phone or TV, what are the messages that come into your life to influence how you think?</p>



<h2 id="h-2-take-small-steps">2. Take small steps. </h2>



<p>It doesn’t have to be anything big. Doing something you said you were going to do makes you feel better about yourself. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/daily-goal-setter/">Be a daily goal setter</a> and a daily goal hitter. Know what you need to accomplish each day and do it. Check things off. This also helps you feel less overwhelmed with life. Some people have so much meaningless information coming at them, they get overwhelmed and give up. They sit on the sofa and don’t do anything. Get a list and knock things off each day. Remember, inch by inch it’s a cinch to get things done.</p>



<h2 id="h-3-change-your-mindset">3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-things-you-need-for-a-successful-mindset">Change your mindset. </a></h2>



<p>The voices in our heads aren’t always positive. In fact, it’s often <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/say-no-to-negativity/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">that negative inner voice</a> that sounds the loudest. <em>I’m so stupid, I never get things done, I’m going to fail—again.</em> Don’t do that. Think about what you’re thinking about and what you’re allowing to happen in your mind. Pay attention to your mindset. If you’re putting yourself down, reverse those thoughts and try focusing on your positive traits. We all have them. What you think about yourself is influencing the results you’re getting in every area of life.</p>



<h2 id="h-4-go-for-it">4. Go for it.</h2>



<p>Life is short. It goes by so quickly. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/i-stopped-worrying-then-happiness-showed-up">What are you worried about?</a> Most of the things we worry about don’t really matter. <em>Just go for it</em>. If you’re thinking about changing jobs because you hate your job, then change jobs. Don’t spend your life in a rut not liking yourself or hating what you’re doing. Do something about it. Find belief in yourself and then go for it.</p>



<h2 id="h-5-rein-it-in">5. Rein it in.</h2>



<p>When you’ve gone out and won, when you’re super-successful, you have to work like crazy to realize you’re not that big of a deal. Don’t be a loudmouth. Don’t be a know-it-all. Don’t be a jerk. It’s that tricky combination of humility and self-esteem when we realize that none of us are that big of a deal, but on the other side of it, we all have great value. You are the only you there will ever be on this planet in the history of humanity. Be the best you that you can be. You’re never in life as good as you think you are when things are going great, and you’re never as bad as you think you are when they’re aren’t. We’re all somewhere in between.</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p><strong><em>Related:</em> <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-attributes-of-healthy-humility">6 Attributes of Healthy Humility</a></strong></p></blockquote>



<p style="font-size:12px"><em>Photo by </em>Chawki<em>/Twenty20</em></p>

5 Positive Ways to Build Your Belief in Yourself

5 Positive Ways to Build Your Belief in Yourself | SUCCESS

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https://youtu.be/FiPCU1tl11A

I want to talk to you today about <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/8-ways-successful-people-overcome-setbacks">overcoming setbacks</a> in life.

I have learned that things and you are never as good as you think they are when everything’s going great, when everything’s just wonderful. But on the other side of that, it’s never as bad and you’re never as bad as things seem when you’re <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/9-mood-boosting-ways-to-inject-positivity-in-your-life">going through a dark time</a> or when things are down. It’s always somewhere in between.

You’ve got to treat success and failure as just things that happen, and you’ve got to keep moving forward. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-is-a-journey/">Success is a journey.</a> It has its ups and downs. It has its challenges and it has its victories. If you’ve just suffered a setback, it really is just a setup for a comeback.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/when-you-dont-feel-motivated/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">What to Do If You Don"t Feel Motivated</a></strong></p>

You’ve got to treat success and failure as just things that happen, and you’ve got to keep moving forward. Success is a journey. It has its ups and downs...

You’ve got to treat success and failure as just things that happen, and you’ve got to keep moving forward. Success is a journey. It has its ups and downs... | SUCCESS

Why You Should Keep Pushing Through Your Setbacks

Why You Should Keep Pushing Through Your Setbacks | SUCCESS

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Future of Work

Future of Work Archives

Future of Work | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

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<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">I</span> have completely failed at retirement. My wife tells me that all of the time. I spent so many years <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-5-simple-steps-to-plan-your-dream-life">building a life worth living</a> that sometimes it’s hard to sit back and enjoy that life. What’s helped me the most is finding hobbies I enjoy, such as reading and gardening.</p>
<p class="BODY">Over the years, my work-life balance has ebbed and flowed with the changing tide of my career. But I always try to keep my North Star—my family—in view.</p>
<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong>Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Family</strong></p>
<p class="BODY">Here are some important truths I’ve learned about balance.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">1. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.</h2>
<p class="BODY">I’m not going to tell a 35-year-old woman how to find work-life balance. Her values, desires and view of the world is so much different from mine. Even her idea of balance will look differently from mine. Figure out what works for you and your life.</p>
<p class="BODY">My wife and I are a partnership. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/the-secret-to-a-happy-thriving-marriage-communication">We work together</a> to find a balance that fits. It’s changed over time as our lives and priorities have changed, but one thing has always remained at the top of the list: Don’t make our children feel like a fifth wheel in our lives.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">2. Recognize that there will be times of imbalance.</h2>
<p class="BODY"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-deliberate-steps-to-master-a-skill">Becoming great at something</a>—a business, a skill, etc.—takes time, usually lots of it. If you want to be great at something, understand there will be times of imbalance, particularly when you’re young in your career and trying to make a name for yourself. The hardest thing is learning when it’s time to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-simple-ways-to-slow-down-in-life">slow down</a>, reassess and rebalance.</p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">3. Hold yourself accountable.</h2>
<p class="BODY">I like to ask myself, <em>What’s the most important thing I should be doing right now?</em> It’s not always career-related. It could be that I haven’t been present with my family even when I am home. But asking myself this question regularly ensures I’m accountable for where I spend my time. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-popular-productivity-tips-that-are-actually-wasting-your-time">Don’t mistake busyness for productivity.</a></p>

<h2 class="SUBHEAD">4. Remember what’s important.</h2>
<p class="BODY">What I’m most proud of are my two boys. I attribute their growth to my wife, their mother. I wanted them to know how important they are. I remember racing out of business meetings and jumping on a plane home to Georgia so I didn’t miss their baseball games. There will always be another meeting. There are only a limited number of baseball games.</p>
<p class="BODY"></p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">There will always be another meeting. There are only a limited number of baseball games.</h3>
<h3 class="BODY"></h3>
<p class="BODY">I’m an only child. Honestly, it’s easy for me to be selfish. I didn’t have siblings to consider when I was young. I had to reprioritize my life several times. Just remember: Don’t win the money race at the expense of your family.</p>
<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT-BIO-w-rule rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-work-life-balance-tips-from-a-working-dad">12 Work-Life Balance Tips From a Working Dad</a></strong></p>
<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT-BIO-w-rule rteindent1"></p>

</div>
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This article originally appeared in the September 2017 issue of <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/magazines/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.

</div>

A balanced life begins with remembering what’s important.

A balanced life begins with remembering what’s important. | SUCCESS

4 Rules of a Healthy Work-Life Balance

4 Rules of a Healthy Work-Life Balance | SUCCESS

https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/mynorthstar.jpg

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<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">W</span>e all carry stories from our childhood. We carry stories about holiday traditions and the right way to fold a fitted sheet. We also learn how to find love and attention by watching our parents, teachers and friends. We learn from them about how the world works, what we can and can’t do, and <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-only-you-can-decide-who-youre-going-to-be/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">what kind of people we are</a>—funny, caring, quiet, social, nerdy, strong.</p>
<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"></p>

<h3 class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA rtecenter">We form our lives around these stories, accepting the boundaries that were set when our identities were just beginning to form.</h3>
<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA"></p>

</div>
<p class="BODY">We carry these stories, good and bad, into our adult lives. We form our futures around these stories, accepting the boundaries that were set when our identities were just beginning to form. Then we spend the rest of our lives letting that inner child tell us what we can and can’t have.</p>
<p class="BODY">My natural state is to wonder whether I’m good enough. That little voice whispers that I can’t do this and can’t achieve that. I’m never going to get rid of those fears, and neither are you. But you can turn them into your fuel. You can <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-3-ways-to-face-your-fears-with-courage">use that fear as a motivator</a> to keep pushing toward your dreams.</p>
<p class="COLUMNS-DEPT_COL-DEPT_INTRO-PARA rteindent1"><em>Related:</em><strong> <a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/fear-into-fuel/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">5 Ways to Turn Your Fear Into Fuel</a></strong></p>
<p class="BODY">First you need to analyze what thoughts are holding you back. Do you struggle with self-confidence? Are you afraid of failing or maybe of succeeding? When a new opportunity arises, do you <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-gain-confidence-and-become-the-greatest">stride confidently </a>forward with a yes mindset? Identify your limiting beliefs by asking the following questions:</p>

<ul>
 	<li class="BODY"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-ask-for-and-get-everything-you-want"><em>Do I hesitate to ask for what I want?</em></a></li>
 	<li class="BODY"><em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/your-thoughts-create-your-beliefs">Do I believe in my ability to achieve my dreams?</a></em></li>
 	<li class="BODY"><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-ways-to-speak-up-and-be-heard"><em>Do I speak up in meetings?</em></a></li>
 	<li class="BODY"><em><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/stop-underestimating-your-great-ideas">Do I present my ideas with confidence?</a></em></li>
 	<li class="BODY"><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-how-to-find-your-why-in-life/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Do I wake up in the morning excited to work toward my goals?</em></a></li>
</ul>
<p class="BODY">Once you identify your fears and limiting beliefs, you need to work at affirming yourself in those moments of weakness. Norman Vincent Peale dedicated an entire chapter in <a href="https://amzn.to/494ZPec" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Power of Positive Thinking</em></a> to the notion that the brain, when unencumbered by the nagging voice of limitation, is your most powerful tool.</p>
<p class="BODY">When self-limiting stories are triggered by an event or another individual, they typically bring <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-simple-habits-to-manage-your-anxiety">strong feelings of anxiety</a>, fear or perhaps anger with them. Because those feelings are so uncomfortable, they scramble your mind’s ability to focus, leaving you jumping from one task to another. Whether we use our self-talk to move toward our dreams or allow them to control us will determine our future.</p>
“A peaceful mind generates power,” Peale wrote. What you think about matters. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/say-this-not-that-7-responses-for-common-negative-thoughts">What you tell yourself matters.</a> Be the voice of positivity and confidence.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/podcast/ep-67-boost-self-belief-with-these-10-steps">Boost Self-Belief With These 10 Steps</a></strong></p>
<p class="rteindent1"></p>
This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/magazines/success-magazine-august-2017-simon-sinek.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">August 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.

Does your self-talk move you toward your dreams or hold you back?

Does your self-talk move you toward your dreams or hold you back? | SUCCESS

Why What You Think About Matters

Why What You Think About Matters | SUCCESS

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<p class="BODY">Alliances are tricky. Trickier in real life than on <em>Survivor</em>, even.</p>
</div>

<p class="BODY">Research has come a long way in determining how and why we choose to rely on certain people more than others. But the bottom line is this: Humans naturally want to believe in each other. After all, we’re social creatures. Without social interaction, we wouldn’t survive. That was true in the Stone Age and it’s true now.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/a-4-step-guide-for-finding-your-allies">A 4-Step Guide for Finding Your Allies​</a></strong></p>

<p class="BODY">So how do you go about finding people who will help you develop and grow? It starts with <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/go-with-your-gut-the-science-of-instinct">developing your instincts</a>. This process usually begins as a child. We learn the rules of social interaction on the playground: Who is the bully? Who can be trusted? Who is looking out only for themselves?</p>

<p class="BODY">But as we age and mature, that instinct isn’t so clear. Maybe the person you should distrust happens to be <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/be-likeable/">very charismatic</a>, and you don’t see through that right away. Maybe the shy person who doesn’t speak much in meetings is actually someone who is willing to go to bat for you. The point is, there are many shades of gray when it comes to people.</p>

<p class="BODY">The truth is, you’re just going to have to be burned a few times. It’s how we learn. Keep interacting with new people. Learn from them. Develop your people skills.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:&nbsp;</em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/15-trust-building-practices-for-leaders">15 Trust-Building Practices for Leaders</a></strong></p>

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<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<p class="BODY">This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/success-magazine-july-2017-bishop-t-d-jakes.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">July 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.</p>


Humans naturally want to believe in each other. After all, we’re social creatures.

Humans naturally want to believe in each other. After all, we’re social creatures. | SUCCESS

Are You a Trustworthy Leader?

[Quiz] Are You a Trustworthy Leader? | [site:name]

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Success

Success Archives

Success | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

https://youtu.be/3ZmYZb6j3mE

Most of us, we have fears; we have <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-subtle-signs-of-anxiety-you-might-not-notice">anxieties</a>. And for a lot of people, what I call the FUDs (fear, uncertainty and doubt) becomes something that holds them in place and keeps them from ever going for their dreams and trying something different. But you can overcome them.

The most successful people I’ve ever met all have fears, doubts, anxieties. But they turn those fears into fuel, into what drives their success. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-ways-to-turn-your-dreams-into-reality">You’ve got to feed your dreams.</a> You’ve got to starve your nightmares. You can?not totally conquer?but you can control and fight your fears and turn it into the fuel that drives you to success.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/fear-into-fuel/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">5 Ways to Turn Your Fear Into Fuel</a></strong></p>

Most of us, we have fears; we have anxieties. And for a lot of people, what I call the FUDs (fear, uncertainty, and doubt) becomes something that holds them... | SUCCESS

To Be a Real Dream Chaser, Fight Your Fears

To Be a Real Dream Chaser, Fight Your Fears | SUCCESS

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https://youtu.be/hiUHe2vwykk

In this passionate talk, John Addison asks an important question: When you think of all the dreams and goals you want to accomplish, at this very moment<em>, are you where you want to be?</em>

On a scale of 1-10, the answer is a 6 or 7 for most people, he says. But to increase that number, you have to constantly work toward the life you want—because if you accept what life gives you, that’s exactly what you’ll get.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/expectations/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Life Is Too Short to Have Low Expectations</a></strong></p>

<h3 class="rtecenter">“People are designed for success, but something called life comes along and programs and conditions them for failure. Talk to a bunch of 5-year-olds, pick a school... they’ve got big dreams. But then something happens. They grow up. The world starts wearing those dreams down.” —John Addison</h3>
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://www.successliveevent.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hear more great speakers at the next SUCCESS Live event Sept. 8-9 in Long Beach. Get your tickets here.</a></strong></p>


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<em><strong>Explore more SUCCESS Talks videos by topic</strong> on </em>SUCCESS<em> magazine"s YouTube Channel, featuring thought-leaders, authors, entrepreneurs and respected researchers in the fields of human psychology, brain health, relationships and more, who share the tried-and-true tenets of human achievement and success.</em>

Running time: 20:34

Filmed April 2017 at <a href="https://www.successliveevent.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SUCCESS Live</a> in Dallas

but something called life comes along and programs and conditions them for failure.'

“People are designed for success, but something called life comes along and programs and conditions them for... | SUCCESS

John Addison’s Success Tips For 'Living the Life You Desire'

John Addison’s Success Tips For &#8216;Living the Life You Desire&#8217;

John Addison’s Success Tips For 'Living the Life You Desire' | SUCCESS

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<p>What does living <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/126-ways-to-be-extraordinary">an extraordinary life</a> really look like?</p>

<p>Well, in order to see the “extra,” let’s look at an ordinary life first. When I say ordinary, I mean you’re in a job you don’t particularly love, you’re plodding along day to day, and you’re just kind of existing.</p>

<p>An extraordinary life, on the other hand, is one you design. You live a life that you want to live, a life that’s exciting and invigorating. You don’t have to live a life of extraordinary wealth, though there’s nothing wrong with that. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-successful-people-take-control-of-life">But you are in charge of your life.</a> You’re doing what you want to do, you’re being paid for doing something you’d be doing anyway, and you’re genuinely happy. To me, the best definition of an extraordinary life is a happy life.</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/find-your-passion/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Why You’ve Got to Find What You’re Passionate About</a></strong></p>

<p>Here are seven specific ways to transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary.</p>

<h2><strong>1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-steps-to-discover-your-true-self">Understand yourself. </a></strong></h2>

<p>You need to figure out what motivates you. What excites you? <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-ways-to-discover-your-true-passion">What are you passionate about?</a> What is it that you love to do?</p>

<p>If you’re not sure, spend some time understanding yourself. Observe what makes you happy, what makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning and what makes you feel fulfilled. Focus on doing the things in life that you’re dramatically excited about.</p>

<h2><strong>2. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-make-your-passion-your-profession">Get paid for what you love to do. </a></strong></h2>

<p>Once you figure out what motivates you, try to design your life where you are maximizing the amount of time you’re doing that activity. Maybe that means setting aside time in the morning or on the weekends at first. Then try to design a life where you’re actually being paid to do what you love. The goal is to earn your living doing something that you’re passionate about and would do for free.</p>

<h2><strong>3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-techniques-to-never-stop-learning">Invest in lifelong learning. </a></strong></h2>

<p>If you want to live an extraordinary life, you have to focus on improving yourself every day. At the end of the year, you should understand and know something that you didn’t know at the beginning of the year. The only way you can coast in life is downhill. Stay green and growing. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/try-these-30-day-challenges-to-unlock-your-inner-greatness">Challenge your brain</a> with mastering something that you didn’t know before.</p>

<h2><strong>4. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/how-to-train-your-brain-for-positive-thinking">Have high expectations.</a> </strong></h2>

<p>This is critical to leading an extraordinary life. Don’t become cynical and think, <em>Good things don’t happen to me. Things always go wrong for me.</em> Have high expectations for yourself and your life. Dream big. Let yourself get excited about a big goal or a big idea. Stay inspired to move forward and continue growing. A big dream can help you do that.</p>

<h2><strong>5. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-money-habits-that-are-leaving-you-broke">Be financially independent. </a></strong></h2>

<p>There’s a difference between financially independent and rich. Financially independent is where you live within your means. You don’t have massive amounts of debt. Out in the world, you might look at some people and think, <em>Wow, they must be rich: Look at that car, look at that house.</em> But in reality, they might owe everybody known to man. To me, that is not extraordinary. Extraordinary is where nobody—no institution, no bank—has their thumb on you. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-handle-adversity-dont-whine-dont-complain-dont-make-excuses">Dream big, but prepare for adversity.</a> Expect and plan to succeed, but realize life doesn’t always go great.</p>

<p>Being financially independent means you’re never in a position where you’d be ruined if the world around you went downhill. When the financial collapse happened in 2008, my kids were going to private school. I remember so many other people pulled their kids out of school. I knew friends who had planes and then suddenly didn’t have planes anymore because so much of their life was built on debt.</p>

<p>Whatever level I’ve been at in life, I’ve always believed in the idea that a paid-for car is a good car. A car you owe a gazillion dollars on so you can drive a Maserati is not a good car. Become financially independent.</p>

<h2><strong>6. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-failure-is-good-for-success">Deal equally well with success and failure.</a> </strong></h2>

<p>If you try many things, if you live a life of adventure, you’re going to have a lot of success, and a lot of failure. Hanging in my office is a framed copy of Rudyard Kipling’s poem, “If.” At one point, it says, “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same…”</p>

<p>Things are never as good as you think they are when everything’s going good, and on the other side, things are never as bad as you think they are when things are going crappy. What sets you apart is the ability to go through life, grow through life and weather the storm. There are going to be sunny days and stormy days. That’s just fact. Put yourself in a position where you can financially, physically, emotionally and mentally make it through.</p>

<h2><strong>7. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/there-is-no-substitute-for-work">Work harder. </a></strong></h2>

<p>The founder of Primerica, Art Williams, used to give a speech on “A Little Bit More.” He talked about the difference between <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-3-daily-habits-of-very-successful-people/">the super successful person</a> and the average person. He said the winner does what it takes… and a little bit more. You can’t go through life just doing what’s necessary. You have to do what’s beyond necessary. If one level of effort will get you ahead, then the next level of effort will get you to an extraordinary life.</p>

<p>Succeeding in life is not easy. It takes hard work. The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. Work hard. Pay the price. But make sure that you’re working hard and paying a price toward a goal that you want to achieve. Do that, and an extraordinary life is within your reach.</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: <strong> </strong></em><strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-steps-to-personal-greatness">5 Steps to Personal Greatness</a></strong></p>


How to create an exceptional life | SUCCESS

7 Ways to Go From Ordinary to Extraordinary

7 Ways to Go From Ordinary to Extraordinary | SUCCESS

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<p><span class="Body-Drop-Cap">S</span><span>ixty-</span><span>f</span><span>our</span> years ago, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay literally went where no other human had been when they became the first people to reach the peak of Mount Everest. Can you imagine what they must have felt? Pride, accomplishment, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/top-of-mind-6-good-daily-habits-for-a-fulfilled-life">intense fulfillment</a>. But it was short-lived. They were able to withstand the air at that altitude for only 15 minutes before beginning their descent.</p>

<div class="content-article">
<p class="BODY">Think about the most important achievement in your life. Remember that feeling when you finally reached the summit of your own particularly difficult mountain? You feel as if you can conquer anything. But you can’t forget about all of the difficult times on the way to the top—the days when you just wanted to give up and try something easier. I’m sure Hillary and Norgay had days like that.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/emotional-enemies/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">4 Ways to Quiet the Emotional Enemies in Your Mind</a></strong></p>

<p class="BODY">As the popular phrase goes, “<a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/failure-winston-churchill/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Success is never final. Failure is never fatal.</a> In the end it’s the courage to continue that counts.” Having the courage to continue after failure is important, but what’s even more important is continuing after success. That’s when it gets easy to sit back and look at all you have accomplished and forget how much more there is left to do. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/if-youre-not-happy-youre-not-successful-so-enjoy-the-journey">Success is a journey</a>, not a destination.</p>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<h3 class="BODY rtecenter">“Success is never final. Failure is never fatal.&nbsp;In the end it’s the courage to continue that counts.”</h3>

<p class="BODY">&nbsp;</p>

<p class="BODY">You’re never as good as you think you are when life is going great. The flipside is also true. Success takes a team. You never could have climbed that mountain without the people around you helping you along the way. So <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-keep-your-ego-from-getting-the-best-of-you">don’t let ego take the wheel</a> after achievement. Acknowledge and thank your team for everything they do. Take a moment to collectively celebrate your success, and then put your head down and start working toward the next goal.</p>

<p class="BODY rteindent1"><em>Related: </em><strong><a class="row-title" href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/daily-goal-setter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Today, Become a Daily Goal Setter</a></strong></p>

<p class="BODY">Hillary and Norgay went on to lead adventurous lives, scaling other mountains and heading expedition teams. They never slowed down.</p>

<p class="BODY">The people I admire most—the ones I consider to be truly successful—are those who are happy, living vibrant lives and <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/your-best-future/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">looking forward to the future</a>. They have healthy relationships and strive to balance motivation and drive with humility. They’re boldly humble. It’s a contradiction, just like most things in life. Walk with your head high and your heart humble and you’ll find the greatest sense of inner peace and wholeness.</p>

<p>Humility isn’t something you’re born with. Certain things happen in our lives that boost our ego or tear it down. Learn to accept both in stride. You do that by not allowing your emotions to control your direction. Never let the lows drive you too low or the highs lift you too high. As Rudyard Kipling wrote, “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster / treat those two impostors just the same / Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.”</p>

<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related: </em> <strong><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-attributes-of-healthy-humility">6 Attributes of Healthy Humility</a></strong></p>

<p class="rteindent1">&nbsp;</p>

<p>This article originally appeared in the <a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/by-media/magazines/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">June 2017 issue of <em>SUCCESS</em> magazine</a>.</p>
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Find balance by accepting your successes and failures in stride

Find balance by accepting your successes and failures in stride | SUCCESS

Success Is a Journey, Not a Destination

Success Is a Journey, Not a Destination | SUCCESS

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Relationships

Relationships Archives

Relationships | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

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We all want somebody to tell us what to do. <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/successful-habits/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><em>To succeed, what do I need to do?</em></a>

Well I’m here to tell you it’s also important to know what not to do: Never take advice from someone more screwed up than you.

You need to surround yourself and listen to people that lift you up. People that have achieved success and can help you move forward.

It is so easy to find the naysayers and the doubters. If <a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/expectations/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">your goals and dreams</a> don"t make some of your friends laugh at you, then you don"t have big enough goals and dreams.

You need to dream big, think big and plan big?and listen to the people who build you up and move you forward.
<p class="rteindent1"><em>Related:</em> <strong><a href="https://johnaddisonleadership.com/success-3-daily-habits-of-very-successful-people/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">3 Daily Habits of Very Successful People</a></strong></p>

Listen to the people who build you up and move you forward

You need to surround yourself and listen to people that lift you up. People that have achieved success and can help you move forward. It is so easy to find... | SUCCESS

Why You Need to Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You Up

Why You Need to Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You Up | SUCCESS

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