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I make an average salary. I contribute to my 401(k) monthly. And I travel abroad every three months. While I’ve been financially frugal my whole life, knowing how to save money is a skill that can be easily taught.



I have friends who make three times what I do but still have difficulty saving money. What’s the difference between me and them? Well, practice. Growing up, I had a green tin box where I stashed all of my cushion-hunting treasures. Each shiny coin was my own little secret.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">How to save more money</h2>



Now that I’ve upgraded from a piggy bank to a checking account, I’ve been able to identify the best ways to save money for the future without compromising my lifestyle in the present. Here are my secrets:



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-make-saving-money-exciting">1. Make saving money exciting.</h3>



For me, saving money has always been sexy because of its secretive nature. Whenever my friends shared money gripes over drinks, I commiserated, but I couldn’t understand how they allowed hard-earned dollars to slip through their fingers.



Early on, I was told to <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/093015/why-saving-10-isnt-enough-get-you-through-retirement.asp" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">put away at least 10%</a> of whatever I made into a separate account—be it savings, 401(k), a <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/what-is-a-roth-ira/">Roth IRA</a> or something else—and never touch it. I took this advice to heart and have realized that once it’s out of sight, I don’t miss the money. But boy, do I admire its growth.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-not-all-sales-are-created-equal">2. Not all sales are created equal.</h3>



Everyone likes a deal, but I’ve found that there’s an art to it: practicing patience and timing. New York City spoils me with designer sample sales, but I have to be discerning. Just because something is on sale doesn’t mean it’s worth the money. Some of the highest-quality clothes and shoes in my closet have cost less than a latté. Seriously!



After I started selling items on Poshmark, a popular buying and reselling app, my passion for shopping turned into a self-funded hobby.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-save-money-by-treating-yourself-for-less">3. Save money by treating yourself for less.</h3>



I have always been a haircare girl with a cabinet full of products to prove it. But I’m shocked when I see the cost of certain treatments and hair cuts. I can’t justify doing my hair for the price of a plane ticket, which is how I came across the website <a href="https://salonapprentice.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">SalonApprentice.com</a>.



Many hairstylists in training look for hair models to practice on. To put it simply, you can get your hair done professionally for the cost of a tip. Similarly, some stores offer complimentary mini-facials and makeovers, making it impossible to say no to a night out because of finances. There’s no shame in grabbing a deal!



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-do-the-cool-stuff-you-see-online">4. Do the cool stuff you see online.</h3>



One of my favorite hobbies is collecting passport stamps. I’ve visited Iceland; Copenhagen, Denmark; Belgium; the Turks and Caicos Islands; France; Canada; Wyoming; Colorado; Minnesota; and New Mexico. The best part of traveling is being able to do it cheaply and often.



With low-cost carriers becoming more common, there are more affordable ways for you to take to the skies. My roundtrip, nonstop flight to Paris was $425. I only spent $60 on accommodations because I was able to pay for hotels with points earned from credit cards, and I even stayed at an ultra-luxurious hotel (typically $600 a night) for free by redeeming a reward from my points program.



For flight deals, I use a website called <a href="https://skyscanner.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Skyscanner.com</a>. It allows you to search the cheapest places to travel to by month. From there, you can specify dates. My friends are always asking how I travel so much. This is how.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-don-t-feel-pressured-to-spend">5. Don’t feel pressured to spend.</h3>



I learned this financial lesson the hard way. In your 20s, there are birthday dinners, standing brunch reservations, shopping trips, drink dates and a hundred other money-sucking activities that are easy to become absorbed in.



If I said yes every time a friend wanted to “grab dinner,” I wouldn’t have your attention. When the occasion calls for it, I’ll splurge, but if it’s catching up with a friend, a great happy hour spot works just fine. Once I allowed myself to say “no,” it freed up a lot of time for me to read, catch up on shows and, best of all, sleep—all while saving money.



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-be-transparent-with-yourself-about-money-you-save-and-spend">6. Be transparent with yourself about money you save and spend.</h3>



I have different credit cards for different rewards, but I only swipe a few of them on a daily basis. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/mint-app-review/">I track everything on Mint</a> to streamline my bills and see all of my accounts in one place. It also keeps my spending in perspective so I know if I need to be a little more cautious in the upcoming month.



When I see how and where <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/3-ways-to-spend-your-money-wisely/">I spend my money</a>, saving it becomes a controllable, mindful practice that keeps me optimistic about my plans for the future.



Collectively, these different behaviors have led to big savings. Part of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/9-smart-spending-and-saving-tips/">becoming a good saver</a> was trial and error. There is a ton of advice out there, but not all of it is practical. I had to make it personal in order for it to work. You will, too.



My favorite piece of literature on financial advice is <a href="https://amzn.to/3R7QiuL" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Richest Man in Babylon</a> by George Samuel Clason. It’s a collection of short stories set in ancient Babylon, in which the characters learn simple yet effective financial lessons. When I’m the richest woman in Manhattan, perhaps I’ll write my own.



—Sasha Mishkin



This post originally appeared on Girlboss.com.



This article was published in January 2018 and has been updated. Photo by ViDI Studio/Shutterstock

If saving money is a goal, it doesn't mean you can't have fun. Read these tips for how to spend smarter so you can save more money.

If saving money is a goal, it doesn't mean you can't have fun. Read these tips for how to spend smarter so you can save more money. | SUCCESS

6 Real-Life Budgeting Tips to Save More Money

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How to Save Money: 6 Real-Life Budgeting Tips That Work | SUCCESS

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Girlboss is redefining success for a new generation of women—our generation. A new kind of media company, we produce content, community, and experiences with a singular focus on serviceable content that women want to spend meaningful time with. Covering work, money, wellness, beauty and identity, Girlboss believes that ambition and wellness are not mutually exclusive. Most important, we create a space for two-way dialogue—where vulnerability meets real talk with a sprinkling of wit and humor.

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Girlboss

How to Reframe the Way You Think About Money

I want to let you in on a little secret. Everyone struggles with money in one way or another. It doesn’t matter how much or how little we earn—no one is immune. We don’t realize it because it’s too taboo to talk about, so we sit around thinking that <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/money/money-shame" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">we’re the only ones struggling</a>.



This was me! I studied finance in college and then worked in financial services, and I still didn’t know anything about my own money. As I started my own money journey and shared what I was learning, countless others reached out to share that they were struggling with the same issues.



While most of us didn’t get any real money education to prepare us for something that we deal with every day, I found that the numbers part of it was actually really simple. It’s basic math. Money in minus money out = <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-complete-guide-to-money-how-to-create-wealth/">building wealth</a>, losing money or staying in the same place.



But if it were actually that easy, the average American would have more than $400 saved. Yes, that’s a real statistic. The <a href="https://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/2021-economic-well-being-of-us-households-in-2020-dealing-with-unexpected-expenses.htm" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">average American has less than $400 saved</a>, at any age.



So what gives? Why do so many of us know what we should be doing but can’t seem to make it happen? It’s our <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-it-pays-to-understand-your-money-mindset/">money mindset</a>. Our money mindset is made up of our attitudes and beliefs about money and ourselves. These factors determine our money relationship and the results we see. How we think about something shapes how we interact with it and the actions we then take.



Here are two <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-change-your-beliefs-about-money/">money mindset shifts</a> to transform and de-stress your relationship with money for good:



<h2 id="h-the-language-we-use">The Language We Use</h2>



The language we use around money is really important. When we shift our <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-dos-and-dont-for-setting-money-goals-in-2021/">money goals</a> to be intentional acts of self-love, rather than acts of restriction and self-deprivation, it becomes much easier to take the actions that get us closer to reaching our goals. The journey is in noticing the language, reframing it and moving forward.



The phrase “can’t afford” is a great example, and we hear it all over the place. “I wish I could go on a vacation, but I can’t afford it,” or “I can’t afford to buy that new outfit.” When we use the phrase “can’t afford,” it affects our entire demeanor because it comes from that place of scarcity and lack. We are insinuating that we want something but can’t have it. We immediately feel deprived.



While there are some things that we truly can’t pay for, in many cases, we technically could afford the item or experience that we’re talking about by not spending money on other things, or by using some form of savings or financing. In most cases, we are actually choosing not to purchase it.



“Choosing not to” is a much more powerful phrase, and it’s usually true! We are choosing not to take the trip or buy the new piece of furniture because it will take away from another goal or even put us in a financially stressful situation.



When you choose not to do something, it comes from a place of power and abundance—<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/4-actionable-steps-to-build-a-positive-money-mindset/">a healthy money mindset</a>. You’ve weighed your options and chosen the alternative that will bring you more long-term joy and happiness.



<h2 id="h-more-than-enough">More Than Enough</h2>



A <a href="https://www.npr.org/2017/03/23/521195903/how-the-scarcity-mindset-can-make-problems-worse" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">scarcity mindset</a> is our default when it comes to money. When we’re in a scarcity mindset, what we are earning will never be enough. There will always be more things and more experiences that we need or desire, so we’ll always want to be earning more.



Most of us would absolutely love to double our salaries. Not only would we love it, but we also believe that it would be the solution to all of our money problems. Think about it. Don’t you? If your salary doubled, you’d be able to afford the things you want, you’d start saving meaningfully or you’d finally get out of credit card debt. This is an illusion.



According to a <a href="https://news.vanderbilt.edu/2009/07/07/lotteries-from-big-bucks-to-bankruptcy-83864/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">study conducted at Vanderbilt University</a>, the bankruptcy rate among lottery winners is quadruple what it is for the general population. Within three to five years after winning the lottery, too many people end up right back where they started or even worse off.



We can’t just out-earn our spending. This is our scarcity mindset in action—and scarcity doesn’t work. We restrict ourselves, tell ourselves no, and then eventually rebel and derail ourselves. Not only does this not work for our goals, but it also deprives us of joy in our lives, because we get <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/building-wealth-starts-with-courage/">stuck in a cycle</a> of making impulse buys, feeling terribly guilty and then repeating the pattern all over again.



Moving to a<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-principles-of-abundance-and-prosperity/"> mindset of abundance</a> stops this cycle. It’s a subtle shift, but people report that they just stopped craving, wanting or needing things they used to purchase. The serial shopper stops feeling the need to shop. The self-proclaimed coffee addict takes a different route to work and skips the coffee. Why does this happen?



When we come from a place of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/11-ways-to-attract-abundance-in-your-life/">abundance</a>, we already have more than enough. We let go of all frivolous spending—however, you choose to define it. We become aware of how much we already have. We’ll take out many of the expenses in our day-to-day lives, but it won’t feel that bad. It’s a truly eye-opening exercise.



—Ashley Feinstein Gerstley, founder of the Fiscal Femme and the creator and author of <a href="https://get.thefiscalfemme.com/30-day-money-cleanse-2018/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The 30-Day Money Cleanse</a>



This post originally appeared in November 2018 on <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/money/reframe-your-money-mindset" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Girlboss.com</a> and has been updated.

Our money mindset is made up of our attitudes and beliefs about money and ourselves. These factors determine our money relationship and the results we see.

Our money mindset is made up of our attitudes and beliefs about money and ourselves. These factors determine our money relationship and the results we see. | SUCCESS

How to Reframe the Way You Think About Money | SUCCESS

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Personal Development

Personal Development Archives

Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

If you, like most red-blooded millennials, spend the majority of your time online, then you’ve probably stumbled upon the internet’s collective obsession with “self-care.” Basically, the concept of self-care refers to making time to take care of yourself without feeling guilty. Methods can range widely, and activities like yoga, reading or taking a relaxing bath all fit the bill.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/33-ways-to-feed-your-soul">33 Ways to Feed Your Soul</a>

Being able to take a moment for yourself in order to hit the reset button is something we all need to do every once in a while. But here’s the thing: Taking a timeout to give yourself a moment of respite or relaxation or indulgence is only part of the battle. We carve out time for happy hour, but it ends up being less than happy because you’re thinking about the last couple of emails you didn’t get to in order to be there. How can anyone binge watch Netflix stress-free with piles of dirty laundry lurking next to the TV? Can you really go to town on that box of salted caramels knowing you haven’t been to the dentist in 18 months? Or when you still haven’t ordered a wedding gift for your college roommate and it’s been two years since the wedding?

One of the surest ways to let that self-care time shine is to make sure you’re not stressing about miscellaneous, small-ball to-do’s while you’re trying to check the eff out. Get yourself sorted so that your “me time” can be as effective as possible.

<h2>Step 1: Make a plan.</h2>

Randomly tackling tasks after a long day of work can make for utter chaos. Instead, start the process by simply creating a plan. First, make a to-do list of everything that really needs to get done (work orders for the landlord, smog-testing your car, sorting mail, etc.).

Next, whip out your planner—that nice one you bought specifically for this purpose and never use—to pencil in time to complete everything. And really stick to it; don’t cancel if better (aka any) plans come along. Pick a day at lunch to call your doctor, a Saturday to make it to the bank and a whole Sunday to purge your closet. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614524581" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Just make sure to physically write it down</a> rather than type it for a better chance at actually completing these tasks.

<h2>Step 2: Execute.</h2>

Do it. It won’t take that long and you know it. Think of how much you can get done in a day at the office. Treat these chores like your job and you’ll be done in no time.

<h2>Step 3: Reward.</h2>

While the satisfaction of a job well done should suffice, feel free to set a reward. One you can actually enjoy now that you have nothing hanging over your head. You might even be able to actually clear your mind during yoga class because you won’t be stressing about a dozen little things that need to get done. Plus, giving yourself a reward for hard work is a great way to <a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/12/13/psychology-rewarding-yourself-with-treats/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">form healthy habits</a>.

<h2>Step 4: Repeat.</h2>

While some tasks will be one and done, a lot of them will pop back up again. So make sure to set aside time each week to tackle everything important before it all piles up. Once you know how good it feels to not be stressing about a late credit card bill or that you’ll run out of contact lenses, you might even start to look forward to your weekly “adulting” sessions.

Related: <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/self-care-free-ideas-list">31 Acts Of Necessary Self-Care (That Cost Literally Nothing)</a>

—Jacqueline DeMarco

This post originally appeared on <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/6/6/how-to-get-organized-so-you-can-actually-practice-self-care" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Girlboss.com</a>.

Make your ‘me time’ as effective as possible.

Make your ‘me time’ as effective as possible. | SUCCESS

4 Steps to Make Self-Care Part of Your Routine

4 Steps to Make Self-Care Part of Your Routine | SUCCESS

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Professional Growth

Professional Growth Archives

Professional Growth | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

How to knock the socks off your potential employers—from cover letter to follow-up. Borrowed from&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/2gPsE6o" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Girlboss Workbook</a>, which drops October 24.

Make some room next to your shelf-worn copy of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.girlboss.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#GIRLBOSS</a>, because&nbsp;<a href="https://www.girlboss.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Girlboss Workbook</a>&nbsp;by Sophia Amoruso&nbsp;is almost here. What is&nbsp;The Girlboss Workbook, you ask?

It’s essentially the wisdom of&nbsp;#GIRLBOSS&nbsp;broken down into an interactive journal for winning at life—so you can literally scribble down your wildest, hairiest, most ambitious goals, figure out what you need to work on, and get straight down to it.

It’s packed with worksheets, actionable strategies, LOLs and no-bullshit advice to set you on your path to ultimate career domination.&nbsp;

Below, catch (and save)&nbsp;a little sample that takes a headfirst dive into how you can land your dream job, from your initial outreach to the follow-up.&nbsp;

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38378 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_1.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38379 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38380 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_3.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38381 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_4.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38382 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_5.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38383 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_6.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38384 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_7.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38386 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the-girlboss-workbook_8_0.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

<img alt="The Girlboss Workbook" class="media-image attr__typeof__foaf:Image img__fid__38387 img__view_mode__full" src="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/sites/default/files/the_girlboss_workbook_9.jpg" style="width: 100%;" typeof="foaf:Image" />

&nbsp;

<a href="https://amzn.to/2gPsE6o" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Girlboss Workbook</a> hits shelves October 24. <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Pre-order you copy here.</a> 
This post originally appeared on <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/girlboss-workbook-excerpt-landing-your-dream-job" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Girlboss.com</a>.

An illustrated guide, borrowed from The Girlboss Workbook

An illustrated guide, borrowed from The Girlboss Workbook | SUCCESS

How to Land Your Dream Job

How to Land Your Dream Job | SUCCESS

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legitselfhelpbooksyoullactuallywanttobeseenreading

Bookstores stock countless tomes devoted to every facet of personal improvement possible: relationships and family, mental and physical health, making boatloads of money or learning to let go of material obsessions.



Too often, though, they seem like an empty promise. But rather than coming across like a con artist or a lecturing mom, some books seem written by <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/6/6/first-look-the-girlboss-workbook-is-coming-soon" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">wise besties you haven’t met IRL</a>, and sometimes, they share invaluable advice and tips in books you wouldn’t necessarily be embarrassed to read in public.



Here are eight such awesome titles that just might help you get your life in order.



<h2 id="h-the-life-changing-magic-of-not-giving-a-f-ck"><a href="https://amzn.to/2yjYX4f" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck</a></h2>



By Sarah Knight (Little, Brown and Company, $15.99)



You already know the KonMari method of decluttering, materially and mentally: Keep and organize that which sparks the joy; ditch the rest. Knight’s book expounds on Marie Kondo’s best-seller with her NotSorry Method.



Knight talks setting boundaries, hurting other people’s feelings (sometimes it’s necessary but “don’t be an asshole,” please), and dealing with family. This is a no-holds approach to putting yourself (mostly) first. Read it because life’s too short for worrying about what that nosy co-worker thinks about your sexuality/politics/tattoos.



<h2 id="h-material-girl-mystical-world-the-now-age-guide-to-a-high-vibe-life"><a href="https://amzn.to/2y9eUtg" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Material Girl, Mystical World: The Now Age Guide to a High-Vibe Life</a></h2>



By Ruby Warrington (HarperElixer, $26.99)



If your life feels like a hamster wheel, this book may offer clarity. Warrington, founder of <a href="https://the-numinous.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Numinous </a>website, chronicles her journey from high-pressure fashion journalist to creating an internet oasis that celebrates path over destination.



Chapters such as “Do Your Dharma, Fix Your Kharma” and “Your Period as a Sacred Goddess Code” use tarot, astrology, <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/5/22/yoga-is-kind-of-a-drag-heres-why-i-do-it-anyway?rq=ruby" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">meditation</a>, séances and good old-fashioned gut instincts to guide spiritual seekers toward fulfillment—whether the goal is career satisfaction, solid relationships or just a post-Burning Man detox. Throughout, Warrington writes with no-nonsense empathy: “One huge telltale sign that you’re about to go against your own intuition is when you have to keep asking other people if they think it’s a good idea or not.”



<h2 id="h-year-of-yes-how-to-dance-it-out-stand-in-the-sun-and-be-your-own-person"><a href="https://amzn.to/2wB6Z6I" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person</a></h2>



By Shonda Rhimes (Simon &amp; Schuster, $25.99)



Where Knight teaches the power of “no,” Rhimes advocates for the power of “yes.” Crafted as both memoir and self-help guide, it documents what happened when Rhimes challenged herself to a year of saying “yes” to panic attack-inducing requests.



While some of Rhimes’ personal anxiety mountains may seem Everest-esque to the rest of us (worried about accepting that Jimmy Kimmel Live invite?), her self-deprecating vibe makes for a must-read. This isn’t a book written to encourage dreamers, Rhimes cautions; it’s a book meant to get you off your ass. “A lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people… the really powerful, engaged people? Are busy doing.” Hell yes.



<h2 id="h-tiny-beautiful-things"><a href="https://amzn.to/2jCDvUV" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tiny, Beautiful Things</a></h2>



By Cheryl Strayed (Vintage, $16.99)



Strayed is best known as the adventuring Wild hiker, but before she laced up those ill-fated boots, she wrote The Rumpus’s “Dear Sugar” advice column. This resulting collection is less traditional self-help stuff than shoot-from-the-hip ruminations—in short, it’s an advice book for those who don’t think they like advice books.



Tackling love, loss, anger and grief, often through her own prisms of <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/7/28/how-confronting-your-darkest-impulses-can-ultimately-help-you" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">failures and disappointments </a>(her mother’s death, sexual abuse by a relative, drug addiction and myriad shitty relationships), Strayed writes unflinching “lessons in radical empathy” that enlighten and give insight into what it means to live an open, purposeful life.



“The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light,” she writes. “Look hard. Risk that.”



<h2 id="h-big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear"><a href="https://amzn.to/2hczja0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear</a></h2>



By Elizabeth Gilbert (Riverhead Books, $24.95)



The mega-popular Eat Pray Love author puts away her passport and takes on what could be the biggest mind-trip of all: harnessing the “magic” of creativity. “I believe that our planet is inhabited not only by animals and plants and bacteria and viruses, but also by ideas,” she explains.



“Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life form.” OK, sure, it sounds a bit precious and mystical, but Gilbert keeps the advice relatable and down to earth. “Stop complaining,” she commands in one chapter, “Every artist complains, so it’s a dead and boring topic.” This is the book to pick up if you want to finally finish (or start) that novel, learn to play the guitar, start painting or launch that wildly profitable pop-up restaurant.



<h2 id="h-you-are-a-bad-ass-how-to-stop-doubting-your-greatness-and-start-living-an-awesome-life"><a href="https://amzn.to/2yk3R1i" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">You Are a Bad-Ass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life</a></h2>



By Jen Sincero (Running Press, $25)



If flowery motivational talks aren’t your jam, then try Sincero’s clear-eyed, blunt-tongued approach. This best-seller doesn’t disappoint, with chapters such as “Your Brain Is Your Bitch” and “How to Get Over Your BS.” Basically, this is a guide on how to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Sincero comes across as your wise, impossibly cool older sister dispensing been-there-lived-through-that advice in a razor-sharp yet loving voice.



Sincero imbues her lessons with chestnuts that explore tapping into overcoming one’s fears and self-doubts through spirituality and a higher power: “This is about your faith being bigger than your fear,” she writes.



<h2 id="h-how-to-be-a-person-in-the-world-ask-polly-s-guide-through-the-paradoxes-of-modern-life"><a href="https://amzn.to/2jFAFia" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life</a></h2>



By Heather Havrilesky (Doubleday, $24.95)



Much in the same vein as Tiny, Beautiful Things, this advice column collection tackles life’s questions with brutal wit and compassion. Culled from Havrilesky’s New York Magazine “Ask Polly” column, the dilemmas feel of-the-moment yet timeless.



Whether advising an ego-bruised reader to channel her inner Kanye, guiding a party girl away from chronic Game of Thrones-style drunken grandiosity (who among us doesn’t need to hear that?) or evoking Meatballs-era Bill Murray to consider the age-old question of career versus motherhood, reading Havrilesky feels like hanging with your BFF.



<h2 id="h-work-life-a-survival-guide-to-modern-life"><a href="https://amzn.to/2yk5NHe" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Work Life: A Survival Guide to Modern Life</a></h2>



By Molly Erman (Dovetail, $20)



Finally, a work guide that doesn’t suck. This colorful guide to office life doesn’t talk down with condescending advice and, even better, it doesn’t aim to pump you up with meaningless platitudes.



Rather, Erman offers the real-life tips they don’t teach you in college (but should). Be it <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/5/26/how-to-write-an-email?rq=erman" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">email etiquette</a>, decoding office culture (what the hell is “business casual” anyway?), <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/5/2/how-to-leave-your-job-and-make-em-miss-you-even-if-youve-been-fired?rq=erman" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">quitting your job like a champ</a> or acing performance reviews, Work Life is basic AF but in the best, most essential way possible.



—Rachel Leibrock



This post originally appeared on <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/7/12/8-legit-self-help-books-youll-actually-want-to-be-seen-reading" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Girlboss.com</a>. 



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Work issues, life problems and emotional quandaries—we all got ’em. But for every problem, there’s a solution. Or at least a corresponding self-help book.

Work issues, life problems and emotional quandaries—we all got ’em. But for every problem, there’s a solution. Or at least a corresponding self-help book. | SUCCESS

8 Legit Self-Help Books You’ll Actually Want to Be Seen Reading

8 Legit Self-Help Books You’ll Actually Want to Be Seen Reading | SUCCESS

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Business &amp; Branding

Business &amp; Branding Archives

Stay ahead in business: strategies and insights for success

Here’s another one to add to your ongoing “<a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/6/8/why-millennials-are-so-obsessed-with-small-business" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reasons millennials aren’t actually spoiled brats</a>” file: A <a href="https://time.com/money/3855869/millennials-first-job-salary/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">2015 study</a> found only 38 percent of millennials negotiate their first salary. And of course, if you’re a woman, those numbers dip even further. Women negotiate only 34 percent of the time as opposed to 44 percent of men. This, despite the fact that 74 percent of employers in the same study said they’d allotted room for an increase.

So what gives? Why aren’t more of us asking for a little more of the pie when it’s there for the taking?

Cue the arguments about millennials being highly non-confrontational and having an egalitarian outlook. But chalking it up to the idea that our hearts bleed even for the tenets of capitalism seems like a bit of a broad stroke, no? As with the <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/6/28/not-answering-this-one-interview-question-hurts-women-and-helps-men?rq=pay%20gap" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gender pay gap</a> and the <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359815/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">confidence gap</a>, there are a number of factors at work, but here’s one that seems pretty intuitive: The notion of “entitled millennials” is so pervasive that in a self-conscious effort not to perpetuate that stereotype, we’re not asking for what we deserve.

The antidote? Educating ourselves about what we deserve and preparing ourselves to ask for it. We caught up with two money and entrepreneurship experts on the issue: personal-finance guru and best-selling author <a href="https://www.shindychen.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Shindy Chen</a>, and <a href="https://www.tamaramellon.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Tamara Mellon</a>, co-founder of Jimmy Choo and founder of her new eponymous shoe and handbag company.

Next time you’re getting ready to negotiate your salary, take heed of the below. Because the money’s most likely on the table, and with the right preparation, it’s yours for the taking.

<h2>Preparation is everything.</h2>

<h3>1. Arm yourself with salary data by demographic.</h3>

“When you’re asking your boss to give you more money for the job you do, you better come prepared to show why you deserve it,” Chen says. “Visit salary websites such as Glassdoor, Payscale, Indeed and Salary.com. Research your current position, title and role with comparable companies and roles in the same city as you. The last one is huge, because you don’t want to forget that salaries are higher if you live in a more expensive metropolitan city. Compare corporate positions to startups, and then add in considerations such as your seniority and skill level. Even if you’re on the high end, you have to show why you’re worth it.”

At the same time, Mellon adds, your comparative research “shouldn’t define or limit you. Consider the numbers you discover to be a starting point.” And be well-versed in what, exactly, you’re asking for. “Consider non-monetary compensation. Extra <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/7/6/why-unlimited-vacation-may-not-be-as-liberating-as-it-sounds?rq=vacation" target="_blank" rel="noopener">vacation days</a>, flexible Fridays. It doesn’t change the bottom line on your checks, but non-cash incentives are a real part of negotiations. Knowing how things compare apples to apples is key here; for example, negotiating an extra two weeks of paid vacation is worth about $4,000 in pay on a $100,000 a year salary. Go in knowing what you want.”

<h3>2. Pinpoint foreseeable obstacles and set the table.</h3>

“Schedule the time,” Mellon says. “Be clear about what you want to meet about. The element of surprise does not work to your benefit. Be conscious of your supervisor’s schedule and high-pressure times of day, and set your conversation up to have the time it deserves. Put yourself in your supervisor’s shoes. Companies aren’t human, but managers are. Do a mental exercise of what your supervisor values in you. Maybe you’ve stepped into a leadership role with other members of your team, or you’ve become her trusted go-to for projects involving XYZ. Your list of human value is much longer than job deliverables.”

And practice makes perfect: “Be aware of your presence. You communicate a lot without saying a word. Nonverbal cues like touching your hair or playing with your pen can lessen your authority. Ending sentences with the intonation of questions can too. Practice the conversation aloud, and be conscious of what you’re communicating with your whole body.”

<h2>When the moment arrives…</h2>

<h3>3. Sing the song of yourself. </h3>

“I have a saying I always like to share with people, and it’s that ‘Numbers don’t lie, but people do,’ ” Chen says. “When you work and do your job at an excellent level, you are providing exceptional value to your company. You should be compensated royally for it. So when you want a higher dollar figure, you need to back up the number you want with actual numbers themselves. Show how your team has grown from x to x. Show how your sales figures went from this to this.

“Demonstrate how your customer service scores blew up the charts. But what if you can’t assign numbers to your case? That’s OK, but you must show your value in other ways: Won any awards or nominations? Received excellent verbal praise internally or from customers? Represented your team or company as a spokesperson on outings or at seminars at your highest level? Trained new hires? All of these extras shouldn’t go unrewarded. Get paid your worth.”

But don’t get too mired down in the past, Mellon adds: “Speak to your potential and what you will do. Your raise determines your pay going forward. With this in mind, your new rate should relate to your upcoming and current projects. Don’t get so distracted by what you have done that you forget to speak about what you are doing.”

<h3>4. Demonstrate your loyalty. </h3>

“Asking for a higher salary also needs to come with some confidence and belief in not only yourself, but in your company,” Chen says. “Be excited and positive about working with your peers, team and company going forward. Put yourself in the shoes of the employer. Would you want to work with someone who is defensive or combative, or worse, delivers an ultimatum (If you don’t give me X raise… )?”

<h3>5. And then go all in.</h3>

“Once you’ve spent a few minutes laying your groundwork, get to your point,” Mellon says. “It’s scary to say, ‘With all the things I mentioned in mind, I’d like to ask for a raise. I currently make $A, and I’d like to discuss a salary of $B.’ But that’s the whole point of your meeting, so don’t be afraid to vocalize your ask. And don’t fear silence. This is a key thing to learn in any negotiation in life. A silence after you’ve made a request can be agonizing, especially if you don’t know how the decision will go. But filling silence with nervous chatter or rationale doesn’t do you any favors. Wait for your request to sink in, and your manager to process it. What feels like forever is only seconds, promise.”

<h3>6. Whatever happens, keep perspective.</h3>

“There is a good chance that your raise will fall somewhere between your current rate and your desired one. This is not failure—it’s progress! You want to leave the conversation with a few things: having had a frank conversation about your value to your company and supervisor; having reached some kind of conclusion about increasing your salary or adding value to your employment agreement; and (this is important) having planted a seed for revisiting the conversation in the future. Whether it’s a review you ask for in six months, or a follow-up after a project, set a stake in the ground to have your value be an evolving conversation—just like your work is an evolving project,” Mellon says.

Now go forth and stack that cash.

—Deena Drewis

&nbsp;

This post originally appeared on <a href="https://www.girlboss.com/girlboss/2017/6/13/6-tips-for-negotiating-the-salary-you-really-do-deserve" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Girlboss.com</a>.

Most of us are leaving money on the table, but you can change that easily.

Most of us are leaving money on the table, but you can change that easily. | SUCCESS

6 Steps for Negotiating the Salary You Really Deserve

6 Steps for Negotiating the Salary You Really Deserve | SUCCESS

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