Relationships

Relationships Archives

Relationships | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

I love meeting members of the Greatness community. Whether it’s during my event (the Summit of Greatness), book launches or other events, my favorite thing to do is give them a hug. I believe in the power of connection, loving people and showing up. It makes them feel appreciated, and it also fills me up.&nbsp;

This was not always the case when I was growing up. I was an athlete, and it was all about dominating the other team, not loving them. Communicating was hard for me, so when I launched the School of Greatness podcast, I had to work on being present when having a conversation. It was intimidating because I didn’t have sports to mask my insecurities.&nbsp;

When I had <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/glennon-doyle2/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Glennon Doyle</a> on the podcast for the second time, we dived into her memoir, Love Warrior, and she brought up some really great points that made this all make sense to me.

During our conversation, we talked about love. Love in a marriage, love through addiction and love in general. She opened up about her struggles with love and how hitting rock bottom was actually the best thing for her and her marriage. What resonated the most with me was when she talked about how men and women interpret and give love differently.

Related:&nbsp;<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/17-timeless-love-quotes">17 Timeless Love Quotes </a>

Women love with their minds and souls. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a woman, whether it was as a partner, a mother, a sister or a friend, you may have noticed that some of them thrive on having deep conversations. It’s how they show love. Glennon made an excellent point that when girls are growing up, they are taught that their bodies are meant to be given away, rather than respected. That leads to a lot of resistance when it comes to physical love.

Men love entirely differently. We love with our bodies. Growing up, especially as an athlete, I always remember being taught by society that if I’m vulnerable, I’m weak. We aren’t taught how to communicate our feelings. It’s a big problem and was the topic of my book <a href="https://www.maskofmasculinity.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Mask of Masculinity</a>. In it, I talk about all of the different types of masks that men wear to avoid intimate conversations and vulnerability, from the stoic mask to the sexual mask and everywhere in between. Some men avoid these conversations with their partners, their parents and their friends.&nbsp;

Women sometimes feel threatened by physical intimacy. Men sometimes feel threatened by deep conversation. With men and women having different perspectives on love, it can be hard. And I don’t just mean in an intimate setting. But it doesn’t have to be.&nbsp;

As Glennon says, “Love is about relentlessly showing up.” It think that is so powerful because it applies to more than just love. It’s true with life and business as well. And showing up could simply mean being honest and doing whatever it takes. When you start showing up, you may find that the other person starts showing up, too.

Related:&nbsp;<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/the-secret-to-happiness-is-just-love">The Secret to Happiness Is Just Love​</a>

Here’s a powerful question to ask yourself: How can you show up for your partner and your friends?

For Glennon, she found that when life and love got the hardest, being willing to go the extra mile supported her the best. She saw it in other people, too, and it eventually ended up making her better. It made her whole. It’s what she calls being a love warrior.&nbsp;

Life and love isn’t easy. It takes a lot of work.

When things weren’t easy, Glennon was given a little push to pursue her dream of being a writer by her sister, Amanda. It was in that time that she committed to writing every day, which eventually led to her blog, Momastery. She started sharing her struggles and fears with other women, and the support and the stories she received changed her life.

Years later, as her marriage was crumbling and she and her husband were in therapy working to save it, she again turned to writing to express her thoughts and feelings. Through this process (and learning new ways to open up and communicate in her marriage), Glennon created an entirely new kind of relationship with her husband, her family and herself.

I’ve always loved Glennon’s example of being a “love warrior,” of choosing to show up even when it’s tough, and in telling her story authentically. It’s this kind of example that allows me to find the courage to do the same in my own life.

What I have found as a result is that showing up is worth it.

Listen to the entire conversation with Glennon Doyle <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/glennon-doyle2/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.&nbsp;

Related:&nbsp;<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-8-traits-of-healthy-relationships">8 Traits of Healthy Relationships </a>

‘Love is about relentlessly showing up.’

‘Love is about relentlessly showing up.’ | SUCCESS

Becoming a Love Warrior

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Becoming a Love Warrior | SUCCESS

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Lewis Howes, author of the&nbsp;New York Times&nbsp;best-seller&nbsp;The School of Greatness, believes that how you feel every moment is more important than what you do or what you have. As a lifestyle entrepreneur, high-performance business coach and keynote speaker, he was recognized by President Barack Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30.&nbsp; &nbsp;

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Lewis Howes

Personal Development

Personal Development Archives

Personal Development | SUCCESS | What Achievers Read

When considering a career and a lifestyle, people often offer the advice to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/19-quotes-about-following-your-passion">follow your passion</a>. It seems like solid advice, but what happens if you don’t know what your passion is? People ask me all the time how to find their passion, which is always a hard question for me to answer.

Until my conversation with <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/elizabeth-gilbert/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elizabeth Gilbert</a>.

You might know her as the author of the New York Times best-selling book turned movie, Eat, Pray, Love. What you might not know is that her perspective on following your passion is much different than you may have ever heard.

Since she was 6 years old, Liz knew that she wanted to be a writer. She focused on who she wanted to be and never expected her book to take off the way it did. Her focus was never on how the audience would respond, but always being the best version of herself as a writer. With her success with Eat, Pray, Love, so many doors opened up for her and eventually led to her being invited by Oprah to be a speaker on her SuperSoul Sessions tour. It was during one of her talks that an audience member changed her perspective on passion.

As many creative individuals do, Liz also offered the advice of following your passion. She always said that you know what you’re passionate about when you would do anything to do that one thing. However, this audience member asked whether not knowing what one’s passion was made that person a failure.

It dawned on Liz at that moment that not everyone could say that they have always known what they wanted to do. So how do they find what their passion is? They follow their curiosity.

To Liz, there are two categories of people when it comes to this subject: jackhammers and hummingbirds. The jackhammers, which she identifies herself as, are the ones that have always known what they wanted to do; they’re loud and impulsive and determined. Then there are the hummingbirds. The hummingbirds exist to cross-pollinate, taking ideas from multiple places, and are responsible for keeping the culture open to new ideas.

A lot of times, society doesn’t give enough credit to the hummingbirds. These individuals often explore many different areas, whether it’s through careers or hobbies, in order to find what their passion is. Finding your passion isn’t about looking for a big sign to point you to it but being open to the invitation of creativity. As Liz points out, if you are truly <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/bored-6-ideas-to-embrace-your-curious-side">following your curiosity</a>, your eyes have to be on the ground looking for the next clue on your scavenger hunt.

I consider myself a humming-hammer. In my business, I am constantly testing new things, but when I do, I go all in. It aligns with how I always describe living my life like a sports season.

There are many things that I have been able to bring to my business as an athlete, and the mentality of living in seasons is a powerful one. There is the pre-season, the regular season, playoff season and post-season. The pre-season is when I research new ideas and see what is working in other businesses, which then of course flows into the regular season, when I am testing to see how everything is working. If everything is working according to plan, we make it to the playoffs, where the focus is on the championship (or in this case, creating the best product possible). During my post-season, I evaluate the season and from there determine whether I want to continue on the path I’m on or change the path.

It’s not always easy to cross into the unknown and try something new, but that’s what I love about Liz describing this as curiosity. Often times, whether in business or in life, fear holds us back from discovering what our purpose is. It can be disguised in anxiety, apathy or acidity, but if we give ourselves permission to explore our curiosity, it can lead us to finding our passions.

Listen to the full episode <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/elizabeth-gilbert/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.

You might just find your passion along the way.

You might just find your passion along the way. | SUCCESS

Why You Should Follow Your Curiosity

Why You Should Follow Your Curiosity | SUCCESS

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Business &amp; Branding

Business &amp; Branding Archives

Stay ahead in business: strategies and insights for success

You may have heard of <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/shaping-sara-blakely-meet-the-billionaire-founder-of-spanx">Sara Blakely</a>, the mastermind behind Spanx, but if you haven’t, you should. In 2000, she started her company with $5,000, and 17 years later, it grew into over a billion-dollar company.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/shaping-sara-blakely-meet-the-billionaire-founder-of-spanx">Shaping Sara Blakely: Meet the Billionaire Founder of Spanx</a>

It wasn’t an easy road. Sara quietly worked every night and on the weekends for two years. She had no official staff, so she relied on her friends, family and network to support her in the beginning. Sara was so committed to her vision that there wasn’t another option.

She used her determination and creativity to her advantage. Even after two years of hearing no from suppliers, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/overnight-success-is-a-myth-here-are-4-ways-to-persist">she persisted</a>. No one wanted to give her a chance. Then one day, a no turned into a yes. It was all because her supplier had three daughters who he shared the idea with, and they convinced him to green light the project.

Then she made a phone call to Neiman Marcus. After an unconventional pitch (she invited the buyer into the bathroom with her to see the effects of Spanx firsthand), she landed Neiman Marcus. They ordered 3,000 pairs.

You would think she made it right then; however, the supplier couldn’t produce part of the product and she had to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/6-ways-to-tap-into-your-creative-self">get creative</a>. Again.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/do-you-have-adaptability">Do You Have Adaptability?</a>

Shortly after she fixed the problem with the supplier, she shipped all 3,000 pairs of Spanx to Neiman Marcus (from her apartment). About a month after landing Neiman Marcus, Spanx was featured as Oprah’s favorite product of the year (because Sara sent a gift basket that ended up in her dressing room). Next thing she knew, she had 30,000 pairs on order, which included almost every major department store across the country.

There was only one problem. Sara didn’t have an advertising budget.

Again relying on her <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-creativity-boosting-habits-courtesy-of-the-universe">creativity</a>, Sara spent two years of her life traveling to do rallies with store employees, essentially making them brand ambassadors for the product. She didn’t stop there, though. While she was in the stores, she spoke with customers, collecting firsthand market research.

&nbsp;

<h3 class="rtecenter">Creating a business is all about persistence and having a clear vision. Sara and her journey of building Spanx is such a great example of that!</h3>

&nbsp;

As she was growing Spanx, Sara met her husband at an event in Las Vegas, and it just so happened that he was <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-smart-tips-for-growing-your-business">growing a business</a>, too. Eventually, the pair decided to start a family and are now parents to four kids.

It was when she became both a mom and a businesswoman that she learned a big lesson: to be kind to herself. She was constantly beating herself up when she was working on her business and not with her kids. When she became mindful of how hard it is to be <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/career-motherhood-10-ways-to-make-it-work">a mom and a businesswoman</a>, she changed how she approached her life by reminding herself to practice kindness and forgiveness. It helps her stay more present.

When I met Sara, I was immediately impressed with her energy, passion and business intelligence. As smart and ambitious as she is, she is also <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/do-these-6-things-to-be-more-humble">humble</a>, fun and doesn’t take herself too seriously.

When I asked her what she is most grateful for, she simply acknowledged being born in a country that supports independence and entrepreneurship, as well as growing up in a time when women had opportunities that were unprecedented. She graciously pointed out that the opportunity to create a billion-dollar women’s fashion brand was only possible at the time and place that she was given.

This reminded me that each of us is being given opportunities, all the time, that can only happen because we are in the right place at the right time and we’ve been prepared to take them. It’s up to us, however, to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/afraid-of-risks-how-to-be-bolder">take the risk</a>, work hard and be creative.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/7-ways-to-persist-when-everything-in-you-wants-to-give-up">7 Ways to Persist When Everything in You Wants to Give Up</a>

If we do, the rewards are exponential.

Creating a business is all about persistence and having a clear vision. Sara and her journey of building Spanx is such a great example of that! She was completely focused on making her idea work, no matter how long it took, how many <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-brave-habits-to-help-you-face-and-accept-rejection">rejections</a> she got and how many late hours she had to work (while still working a full-time job selling fax machines door to door).

As she told me, she realized one day that her life didn’t look like the picture she had imagined for herself. She knew she had something greater to offer and she followed her intuition. The result was bringing one of the most loved and popular products to women around the world.

To hear more about Sara’s story, listen to the full conversation we recorded together <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/sara-blakely/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/21-bits-of-wit-and-wisdom-from-the-woman-behind-the-billion-dollar-brand">21 Bits of Wit and Wisdom from the Woman Behind the Billion-Dollar Brand</a>

You may have heard of Sara Blakely, the mastermind behind Spanx, but if you haven’t, you should. In 2000, she started her company with $5,000, and 17

You may have heard of Sara Blakely, the mastermind behind Spanx, but if you haven’t, you should. In 2000, she started her company with $5,000, and 17 | SUCCESS

Are You Ready to Write Your Billion-Dollar Story?

Are You Ready to Write Your Billion-Dollar Story? | SUCCESS

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My dream was to become a professional athlete. I worked harder than anyone else through high school in order to achieve that goal and become a professional arena football player. I had it all until a career-ending injury landed me broke and angry on my sister’s couch for over a year. I probably would have still been there if I didn’t <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-dont-wait-until-tomorrow">take action</a>.



I learned that the one thing that was <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/10-daily-habits-holding-you-back-from-success">holding me back</a> the most was myself. I had such a poor mindset that if I didn’t change, I would have never gotten off my sister’s couch, let alone reached where I am today. I learned to live in abundance.



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/6-ways-to-embrace-an-abundance-mindset">6 Ways to Embrace an Abundance Mindset</a></blockquote>



It was transformational coach Chris Lee who opened up the world of abundance for me. I learned that being abundant doesn’t mean having a lot of money or a lot of material things. It’s about who you are being every day. Abundance is a state of consciousness and gratitude, which is why I end my day telling the last person I talk to the three things I’m most grateful for.



Chris Lee has been on my podcast many times, but in one particular episode, we went over his “<a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/chris-lee-abundance/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity to Enhance Your Business and Life</a>.” These steps have helped me in all areas of my life, and they can help you, too.



<h2 id="h-1-outflowing">1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/true-success-begins-the-second-you-start-giving-back">Outflowing</a></h2>



Outflowing is about being a giver. It’s about acknowledging what you have to give and asking yourself, What can I contribute today? It’s about being completely selfless and focusing on the support you can give people around you. At the end of the day, what you put out comes back to you and multiplies.



<h2 id="h-2-clearing">2. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/how-to-stop-the-rampage-of-negative-thoughts">Clearing</a></h2>



You can’t live a life full of possibility if you’re holding onto negative thoughts or beliefs. This could mean that you need to clear with yourself or someone else. This is not to be confused with complaining or placing blame. Clearing means coming from a responsible place to create an open and loving life. It does not mean you should be defensive.



<h2 id="h-3-integrity">3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-integrity">Integrity</a></h2>



Integrity is pretty straightforward. When you’re coming from an ethical, principled place, and being your word, you establish credibility.



<h2 id="h-4-visualization">4. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/the-power-of-positive-thinking">Visualization</a></h2>



Visualization is huge for me. When I was playing football, I would always visualize the plays before they happened, and I do the same thing in business. The most important thing when visualizing is that you’re focused on what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Vision boards are great exercises for this. For digital vision boards, I use <a href="https://www.dreamitalive.com/about.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DreamItAlive.com</a>.



<h2 id="h-5-affirmation">5. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/15-positive-affirmations-for-an-awesome-day">Affirmation</a></h2>



Affirmation is all about opening up possibility for your business and for your life. Think about all of the areas in your life that are challenging for you. The idea of affirmation is to empower yourself to achieve some of your most challenging goals.



<h2 id="h-6-declaration">6. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/31-things-that-happen-when-you-finally-decide-to-live-your-dreams">Declaration</a></h2>



Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” That’s the exact purpose of creating a declaration. Almost 10 years ago, I started setting one or two goals per year; then I would write it down on what I call a certificate of achievement and hang it on the wall. It’s a constant reminder of what I am working toward.



<h2 id="h-7-persistence">7. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/overnight-success-is-a-myth-here-are-4-ways-to-persist">Persistence</a></h2>



While I have my goals established, it takes persistence to constantly work toward them every moment of every day. I need to dig deep to stay committed to those goals rather than just thinking about them.



<h2 id="h-8-surrendering">8. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/9-reasons-perfectionism-is-a-bad-thing">Surrendering</a></h2>



Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up. It means avoiding an obsession with what the result looks like. Sometimes it takes shifting our goals to open up even bigger opportunities for us. This can happen simply by asking yourself two questions: What worked? What didn’t work?



<h2 id="h-9-sourcing">9. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-why-you-should-be-a-student-of-your-own-life">Sourcing</a></h2>



You are the source of everything that happens in your life. Sourcing is the awareness that everything is up to you while also taking responsibility for whatever happens. There is a lesson in everything. You just have to have the courage to ask yourself what that lesson is.



<h2 id="h-10-surrounding">10. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/why-you-need-to-surround-yourself-with-people-who-lift-you-up">Surrounding</a></h2>



This is a big one. Whether it is your team or your friends, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are on the same level as you when it comes to vision, language and the things that matter. This also means <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/5-toxic-personalities-successful-people-avoid">cutting out toxic relationships</a> in a responsible way.



These 10 principles can bring abundance and prosperity into your life according to Chris. I know these work because I’ve practiced all of them consistently over time and created extraordinary results.



If you want to hear Chris explain them himself, we recorded a conversation together, which you can listen to <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/chris-lee-repeat/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-ways-to-attract-abundance-in-your-life">11 Ways to Attract Abundance in Your Life</a></blockquote>

Practice these things consistently and create extraordinary results.

Practice these things consistently and create extraordinary results. | SUCCESS

10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity

10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity | SUCCESS

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Recently on The School of Greatness podcast, I had the opportunity to interview Steve Weatherford, the former NFL Super Bowl champion who was one of the best punters in the world, about his secrets to success.

One of the most powerful things that entrepreneurs and success-seekers can take away from the world of sports and athletic achievement is the effectiveness of visualization and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/how-to-train-your-brain-for-positive-thinking">positive thinking</a>. Study after study points to the power of this simple yet life-changing practice.
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-practical-tips-to-achieve-a-positive-mindset">7 Practical Tips to Achieve a Positive Mindset</a>&nbsp;
What most people don’t realize is that the people who are on the top of their success game already are constantly learning, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/33-ways-to-feed-your-soul">feeding their souls</a> and minds to continue to grow. One of my favorite things about Steve is that he is so successful, in the top 1 percent of the 1 percent in his niche, one of the best in the world at what he does, yet he is transitioning to the next thing in his life (entrepreneurship) and is still learning and growing.

&nbsp;
<h3 class="rtecenter">“Visualize your day going perfect in detail. Commit to the habit for 30 days and your life will change.”</h3>
&nbsp;

Steve’s key life hack is positive self-talk. He recommends that you “talk yourself through every day. In the morning say, ‘Today is going to be a great day and this is why’.… Visualize your day going perfect in detail. Commit to the habit for 30 days and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-powerful-habits-that-will-change-your-life">your life will change</a>.”

He doesn’t believe in realistic. He visualizes every single thing going perfectly. Does it? No. But having the vision that it will makes a big difference.

“You have to see things happen in your life before you can do it. It is visualization. I learned that as an athlete; don’t ever go out onto the field of competition thinking about what you don’t want to have happen, because once you let those negative thoughts into your mind, they can more easily manifest.
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/3-things-you-must-tell-yourself-today-and-every-day">3 Things You Must Tell Yourself Today and Every Day</a>
“If you are in a place of positivity, your percentage chance of hitting the perfect punt is higher, much higher, because you are thinking about what you want to do, not what you don’t want to do, or what you don’t want to happen.

“Your brain is the most powerful muscle you have.”
<h2>Monday Momentum</h2>
Steve says his approach to life is to envision, plan and take advantage of Monday’s momentum.

“I have been able to accomplish some amazing things because every Sunday I write down the goals that I want to accomplish in every aspect of my life. I map out my vision and accomplishments for the week and I break it into days. Monday is the day I attack the most. I get up early on Monday because it sets the tone for the rest of the week—<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/6-mindset-shifts-that-will-improve-your-life">my mindset,</a> my productivity, my efficiency. Monday is the day I create momentum.”
<h2>Self-Scouting</h2>
Steve talks about the importance of “self-scouting,” or reflecting on your day to review just like athletes watching videos after a game. Identify what you did well and identify the things you did poorly to try to lock and load for the next day.
<h2>Formula for Prosperity</h2>
Steve says his formula for prosperity is identifying what your vision is, maintaining your focus, trusting your plan, working every day and being diligent, consistent and positive because you have your vision of where you want to be. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/embrace-the-hustle-with-these-13-motivating-quotes">Consistent work</a> is the biggest piece of making your vision happen.

“Prosperity to me is a combination of health, wealth, gratitude and love, and I gravitate toward people like that because I want to create that in my life and I want to share that with other people as well.”
<h2><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/13-daily-habits-of-highly-successful-people">Daily Investment</a></h2>
Steve says there are dreamers everywhere, but how many dreamers are consistently making the daily investment, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-sacrifices-successful-people-make-for-their-dreams">that daily sacrifice</a>? It is going to require those daily decisions, that compound interest over time, to get just that much closer to your goal. People have a real problem choosing what they want 10 years from now over what they want today.

Make it a priority to surround yourself with positive people who encourage and also teach you.
<h2>Impact</h2>
Steve says he is most interested now in <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-to-increase-your-influence">making an impact on people.</a> “You are gonna die. But what are you going to do with your life? You can’t take it with you. What are you going to do between now and when you die that is going to impact people?”
<h2><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-empowering-lessons-about-failure">Win or Learn</a></h2>
Every mistake that you make, every failure that you have, Steve’s mindset is this: “I am going to win or I am going to learn. I don’t think about failing, I just think about opportunities to grow. You are never going to lose… you are going to win or you are going to learn. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from your greatness.”

You can hear the full interview with Steve and his <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/power-of-perspective/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">two previous 5 Minute Fridays</a> on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-school-of-greatness/id596047499" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The School of Greatness</a>.
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/what-i-learned-from-30-days-of-positive-thinking">What I Learned From 30 Days of Positive Thinking</a>

Talk yourself through your day. | SUCCESS

The Power of Positive Thinking

The Power of Positive Thinking | SUCCESS

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10 Daily Habits for Millionaire Level Success

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In this age of powerful technology and information at our fingertips, the topic of success often appears to be complicated and overwhelming. Many people seem caught in a race to figure out the “right” formula inside of infinite possibilities.

We can get caught up in <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-questions-to-calm-your-overthinking-brain">the trap of obsessing</a> over which tool, whose method or what direction to go to reach our destination the quickest and most effectively. At every turn (especially online), we are bombarded by courses, tutorials, articles and videos that promise to give us the answers we are looking for.

But what if it really isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be? What if achieving success is actually simple?
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-secrets-of-insanely-successful-people">4 Secrets of Insanely Successful People</a>
That was the suggestion from Dean Graziosi. He was on TV every day for 17 years straight because his infomercials around real estate training were that successful and popular. He is a multiple New York Times best-selling author, the top real estate trainer in the world and is friends with the best of the best. But, like many other greats, he didn’t start with much.

Dyslexic, broke, coming from a family who always struggled with money, just trying to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/13-life-rules-to-keep-you-motivated">figure life out</a>, Graziosi is an incredible example of the power of turning your story around because you chose to. We met years ago through a mutual friend, but this is the first time we were able to sit down and dive into his brilliant mind and how he has created what he has created.

We covered his top <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/9-things-i-learned-from-talking-to-9-millionaires">habits for millionaire-level success</a>, and he told me some stories that made me tear up. He reiterated what rings true to me as well: that the more success you have, the more you realize that the shifts you need to make to become successful are actually smaller than people would expect.
<h2>1. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/the-success-guide-to-authenticity">Be true to yourself. </a></h2>
Make sure you are happy with the person you see in the mirror, with the person you are “being” every day. Are you the partner you want to be, the friend you want to be, the parent you want to be? When you are in alignment with who you want to be, you are true to yourself.
<h2>2. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-morning-routines-of-wildly-successful-entrepreneurs">Set your day up for success with a morning routine.</a> </h2>
We all suffer. We have moments of suffering, sometimes short, sometimes long. If you can limit your suffering, you can more easily focus on solutions and move forward. A morning routine can help you set your day up for the least amount of suffering and create a foundation of focus.
<h2>3. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-science-backed-reasons-gratitude-brings-you-happiness">Practice gratitude.</a></h2>
Find gratitude at the very base level. See the beauty and blessings of every moment. In simply waking up alive, breathing. In the sheets on your bed. The bed itself. Graziosi says to bring your gratitude back to the basics in life, not the big things.
<h2>4. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/what-happened-when-i-ditched-technology-for-7-days">Disconnect. </a></h2>
Set yourself up for success by centering yourself with your routine so that you can respond instead of react to things coming at you during your day. Avoid your phone at night and first thing in the morning. Otherwise, your focus can be thrown off before you have taken time for yourself.
<h2>5. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/33-ways-to-feed-your-soul">Feed your soul.</a></h2>
Read from your favorite book, meditate, do whatever it is that feeds your soul.
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/16-rich-habits">16 Rich Habits</a>

<h2>6. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-superfoods-you-need-for-a-longer-healthier-life">Feed your body.</a></h2>
Graziosi prefers a glass of water with lemon and some green juice. Nourish yourself.
<h2>7. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/why-exercise-makes-us-happy">Move your body.</a></h2>
Exercise, exercise, exercise. Whatever works for you.
<h2>8. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/how-to-train-your-brain-for-positive-thinking">Write a list of what you “get” to do, not what you “have” to do.</a></h2>
Graziosi used to paint cars in an auto shop when he was young, inhaling fumes all day. Now, even though he doesn’t like conference calls very much, he reminds himself that these days he “gets” to have conference calls instead of inhaling paint fumes in the shop. It is a powerful mindset shift.
<h2>9. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/how-to-find-your-purpose/">Be overly enthusiastic and committed to your why.</a></h2>
Get to the core of your why. Graziosi recommends an exercise he describes as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyfmo7xR75Q&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=26m37s">7 Levels Deep</a>. It changed Dean’s life and purpose forever.
<h2>10. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/if-you-want-to-change-your-results-you-have-to-change-your-thinking-first">Let thoughts be things, not who you are.</a></h2>
Be the observer of your thoughts. Two books Graziosi says are must-reads around this include <a href="https://amzn.to/2vU7Uj6" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Untethered Soul</a> by Michael A. Singer and <a href="https://amzn.to/2wX5LqX" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Power of Now</a> by Eckhart Tolle.

When you are struggling and want more in life, you often think there are hundreds of things you need to learn or change about yourself, but it actually boils down to a handful of things that make someone successful or not. These fundamental habits can shift everything for you. Success is actually easier than people think.

To hear more from Graziosi, you can listen in on <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/dean-graziosi/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Episode 428</a> of The School of Greatness.
<blockquote>
Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/7-powerful-habits-of-a-self-made-millionaire">7 Powerful Habits of a Self-Made Millionaire</a>
</blockquote>

What if achieving success is actually simple?

These fundamental habits can shift everything for you.

10 Daily Habits for Millionaire-Level Success

10 Daily Habits for Millionaire-Level Success | SUCCESS

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What if achieving success is actually simple? | SUCCESS

John Assaraf is a true master at training the mind. He’s not a medical doctor. He’s not a research scientist. He’s a man who has learned from his own experiences (and much study and work) how to maximize the full potential of the brain.

He’s written New York Times best-selling books, been featured in blockbusters like The Secret and runs several million-dollar companies. When I had the chance to interview him <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/john-assaraf/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">on my podcast</a>, I was hanging on every word as he explained how our brains work when it comes to peak performance and overcoming limiting beliefs.

Before he went deep into the neuroscience of what makes us do what we do, I asked him the question I think we all wonder: “How can I get myself to change my habits?”

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-the-4-powerful-ways-to-change-a-bad-habit">The 4 Powerful Ways to Change a Bad Habit​</a>

Our minds are built to run on automatic. Habits free up brain space so we can focus on complex issues or make important decisions. That also means <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-breakthrough-steps-to-shed-negative-habits">habits are tough to break</a> because the brain is designed to stick to them.

Assaraf’s answer was so simple that I wondered if he wasn’t done answering. Start small, he said. Start with one command and one follow through. In other words, “Reduce it to the ridiculous.”

What he meant was that if I want to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-the-4-powerful-ways-to-change-a-bad-habit">change a habit</a>, I have to break down that habit into such a simple action that I know I can do that action easily and immediately.

For example, if I want to develop the habit of doing upper body workouts consistently each week, I need to start with doing two pushups a day.

Here’s how this works.

First, ask yourself these questions about the action you’ve selected to take:

<ul>
	<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/5-ways-the-power-of-i-can-changes-you">Can I?</a></li>
	<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/are-you-willing-to-do-whatever-it-takes">Will I?</a></li>
	<li><a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/rohn-5-tips-for-using-your-time-wisely">When will I? Now.</a></li>
</ul>

As long as it’s an action that you can answer Yes, right now to, it’s an action that will work for this habit-changing method. In the pushup example, I can always answer Yes, right now to doing two pushups, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

As soon as I prove to myself that <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/you-have-enormous-potential">I am capable</a> of doing something new, creating a new result, I create new neural patterns. That exact neural pattern, reinforced repeatedly, is what creates a new habit.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/4-powerful-habits-that-will-change-your-life">4 Powerful Habits That Will Change Your Life</a>

As Assaraf points out, “Everything you do or don’t do leaves an imprint on your self-esteem.” Every time I do two pushups, I am reinforcing that I can do what I say I will do. That is the basis of self-esteem.

As the process continues, Assaraf adds, you start to become aware of whether you are qualifying yourself or disqualifying yourself from moving forward. Every time you take your ridiculously simple action, you are qualifying yourself for <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-know-when-its-time-to-change">moving toward a new habit</a>.

Since everything we do starts with our thoughts, this is incredibly important. Whatever we think about ourselves ends up being the reality of how we show up. Thought patterns become emotional patterns, which become behavioral patterns. Our brain goes on automatic with these patterns quickly—66 days, Assaraf says.

Assaraf’s habit-building process is to spend 100 days focused on just one new thing. After following the simple process of taking that one action over and over, he has wired his brain to automatically continue it, as well as <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-strategies-to-develop-an-unshakeable-belief-in-yourself">build belief</a> in himself and his capability to create new results.

This formula doesn’t fail. It applies to any situation, circumstance or person. It’s as simple as choosing a ridiculously easy action to take right now.

To watch my full interview with John Assaraf (one of my most popular episodes to date), go <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/john-assaraf/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-simple-habits-that-set-ultra-successful-people-apart">12 Simple Habits That Set Ultra-Successful People Apart​</a>

Success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through consistency and dedication.

Success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through consistency and dedication. | SUCCESS

The Simplest, Surest Way to Change Your Results

The Simplest, Surest Way to Change Your Results | SUCCESS

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Motivation is a flimsy thing. It ebbs and flows, and often abandons us when we need it most. That’s why <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/why-motivation-is-garbage">we need something better than motivation</a> to help us achieve our biggest goals. We need something deeper, stronger and more reliable. Most people would say that something is better habits. They argue that we need certain habits to help us reach success, and I would agree. But there’s something even more important that we need to achieve our goals. It’s something I learned from Tony Robbins.

Unless you live under a rock, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/tony-robbins-is-not-your-guru">you’ve probably heard of Tony</a>. As the nation’s No. 1 life and business strategist, he’s been called upon to coach some of the world’s greatest athletes, entertainers, entrepreneurs and even presidents of nations. Tony has also spent the last four decades sharing everything he knows about the science of success with audiences all over the world.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/17-tony-robbins-quotes-about-becoming-who-you-were-meant-to-be">17 Tony Robbins Quotes About Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be​</a>

Well, almost everything.

On a special episode of The School of Greatness, I had the chance to join Tony on his private jet. And during that interview, he shared something with me that he hasn’t shared before. After decades of coaching the world’s greatest individuals, Tony has discovered the one thing they have in common:

“Philosophically, the capacity to strengthen and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-develop-an-insatiable-hunger">increase your hunger</a> is the one common denominator among the most successful people.”

His answer surprised me. There is so much buzz in the personal development space about adopting certain strategies to become successful. If you can copy the <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/12-simple-habits-that-set-ultra-successful-people-apart">habits of highly successful people</a>, then you can be successful, too. That’s how the logic generally goes.

Tony would absolutely agree that strategies are important. But the best strategies stem from something greater. According to Tony, there wasn’t one strategy or practice that all successful people shared; it was a certain mindset that they all had in common. They were always hungry.

“Most people are hungry to achieve a certain amount, and then they get comfortable and relax,” Tony says. “But someone like Richard [Branson], he’s more hungry today than he was at 16.”

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/how-to-develop-an-insatiable-hunger">How to Develop an Insatiable Hunger</a>

As Tony explains, if you can maintain a constant sense of hunger, you will be driven to achieve your most outlandish dreams. And with this dependable drive deep inside you, you will always be able to find the right strategies to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-ways-to-start-living-your-dreams-today">bring those dreams to life</a>.

“Hunger is the ultimate driver,” Tony says simply. “If you’re hungry, you can get the strategy, you can get the answer. If you can’t model it, you can find it.”

I love what Tony has to say about hunger, but I wanted him to go further. I wanted to know how he stays hungry.

Tony sat back for a second. Then he looked at me, chuckled, and said: “The best way to keep your hunger is to get around where it’s better and things will hit you. <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/blog/why-smart-people-surround-themselves-with-smarter-people">Who you spend time with is who you become.</a>”

If we spend our time with incredible people, we have no choice but to step up our game. Yes, Tony has an incredible amount of wisdom to share with the people he coaches. But he also learns just as much from spending time with them. Coaching people such as Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton forces Tony to stay hungry. It forces him to grow.

&nbsp;

<h3 class="rtecenter">If we spend our time with incredible people, we have no choice but to step up our game.</h3>

&nbsp;

That was the biggest takeaway I learned from my time on Tony’s jet. We must continuously monitor whom we spend our time with. If we can surround ourselves with people who have achieved incredible things, not only can we <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/13-daily-habits-of-highly-successful-people">soak up their habits</a>, but we will also inherit their hunger.

If you want to hear more of my conversation with Tony, you can listen in on <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/tony-robbins2/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Episode 311 of The School of Greatness</a>. And until next time, stay hungry my friends.

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/videos/youtube/the-one-question-athlete-turned-podcaster-lewis-howes-asked-that-changed-his-life">The One Question Athlete-Turned-Podcaster Lewis Howes Asked That Changed His Life</a>

‘The capacity to strengthen and increase your hunger is the one common denominator among the most successful people.’

‘The capacity to strengthen and increase your hunger is the one common denominator among the most successful people.’ | SUCCESS

Tony Robbins Taught Me How to Stay Hungry on the Path to Success

Tony Robbins Taught Me How to Stay Hungry on the Path to Success | SUCCESS

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woman using the 5 second rule to make a decision

There’s a favorite quote of mine that I’ve been thinking about lately. It is so simple, so true and so brutally honest: “If more info were the answer, we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.”



Search your feelings, my friend, and you know this to be true. The internet gives us access to almost any information we could possibly need to achieve our goals, but my guess is you’re probably not a billionaire or a model. So how can we have all the information we need but still struggle to reach our goals?



I had a guest on <a href="https://lewishowes.com/podcast/e-mel-robbins/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The School of Greatness</a> who gave me a pretty incredible answer: “You don’t make decisions with your goals. You don’t make decisions with your prefrontal cortex. You don’t make decisions with logic…. We make decisions with feelings. Ninety-five percent of our decisions are made by how you feel in the moment.”



That eureka moment is brought to you by Mel Robbins. She is one of the most booked female speakers on the planet, host of <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Mel Robbins Podcast</a> and bestselling author of books including <a href="https://amzn.to/42vpiLq" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The High 5 Habit</a>. And on my podcast, she shared a simple neurobiological hack that we can all use <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-ways-successful-people-make-smart-decisions/">to make the decisions</a> we know we should. She calls it “The 5 Second Rule.”



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-the-5-second-rule">The 5 Second Rule</h2>



<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/it-only-takes-5-seconds-to-change-your-life/">Here’s how it works</a>: Let’s say we’re faced with a decision that we know will move us in the direction of our goals. That decision presents us with a five-second window. It starts from the moment we know we should act to the moment we lose the will to do so. If we can avoid stopping ourselves in those five seconds, then we can act based on logic rather than feelings. We can make the decision we know we should, rather than the one that’s convenient.



So how do we take advantage of that five-second window? We count down from five… four… three… two… one…



That’s it. That’s the hack.



I had the same reaction you did when Robbins told me this. No way, I thought. That’s too simple, there’s no way that works. Then she explained the neuroscience to me, and it clicked. “Counting is an action,” she said. “Counting backwards requires focus…. So it’s actually this habit of hesitating, you start catching yourself, it’s a huge moment of power because you have a decision to make and you’ve got to make it in the next five seconds. Are you going to go on autopilot and get trapped in your mind, or are you going to five, four, three, two, one and awaken your prefrontal cortex and drive forward?”



Powerful stuff, right? This simple neurobiological hack gives us <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/why-you-have-to-take-control-of-your-thoughts/">control over our minds</a>, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/the-pandemic-sabotaged-our-decision-making-abilities-heres-how-to-start-regaining-that-self-confidence/">over our decisions</a> and therefore, <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/if-you-want-to-change-your-life-change-what-you-think/">over our lives</a>.



If you want to hear more from Robbins, then get ready to laugh, cry and learn in Episode 452 of The School of Greatness. But before you do, commit to using the 5 Second Rule for the next couple of days. You’ll be amazed at the results.



This article was updated June 2023. Photo by stockfour/Shutterstock

When faced with a decision that will help you achieve your goal, use the 5 Second Rule to keep moving forward. It will change your life.

When faced with a decision that will help you achieve your goal, use the 5 Second Rule to keep moving forward. It will change your life. | SUCCESS

Use the 5-Second Rule to Make Your Biggest Decisions

The 5 Second Rule Will Help You Make Big Decisions | SUCCESS

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About to walk on stage, I felt my heart tightening.&nbsp;I was nervous, but the really excited kind of nervous.This was different from walking on stage to large crowds, which I've done plenty of times before.&nbsp;It was weeks of pent-up energy swelling up inside in anticipation of this moment—appearing as a guest on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.&nbsp;My&nbsp;dream of telling Ellen my story and dancing with the queen of laughter and amazing TV&nbsp;came true!

Related: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/lewis-howes-gets-real-with-4-tips-to-do-what-you-love-full-time">Lewis Howes Gets Real With 4 Tips to Do What You Love Full Time</a>

But now that it was over, I felt something I hadn’t felt since playing college sports. I was exhausted. Not because actually being on the show was hard (it was great), but because&nbsp;I’ve spent so much time and energy preparing for this opportunity and now it&nbsp;was&nbsp;done.

I remembered how I used to handle my energy during the playoffs. I had&nbsp;so much&nbsp;energy and excitement in the days leading up to the game, I could barely stand it. But at game time, my energy was gone and I had to will myself to score and keep going.&nbsp;Thankfully I’ve evolved and learned to manage my energy and honor the moment.

<iframe frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/314213585&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true" width="100%"></iframe>

For me, managing my energy means <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/3-simple-ways-to-slow-down-in-life">slowing myself down</a> before the big event. I slow down the racing thoughts in my mind. I concentrate on and slow down my breathing. I listen to and steady my heart rate.

&nbsp;

<h3 class="rtecenter">&nbsp;If you can't be present when the time comes, then you may miss the opportunity.</h3>

&nbsp;

So, when I appeared on stage, dancing with Ellen, I really relished in the moment and realized this was <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/7-steps-to-achieve-your-dream">my dream coming true</a>.&nbsp;If you can't be present when the time comes, then you may miss the opportunity.

I may have been exhausted&nbsp;from excitement, but I wasn't&nbsp;drained because I made myself present.&nbsp;I realized&nbsp;that managing my energy is one of the best skills I’ve been able to develop&nbsp;and it made this experience so much better.&nbsp;You can manage your energy—just slow down&nbsp;and&nbsp;be.

Related:&nbsp;<a href="https://store.successcom.wpenginepowered.com/success-live-tickets" target="_blank" rel="noopener">See Lewis Howes speak at the next SUCCESS Live, Sept. 9, 2017&nbsp;in LA. Tickets available now.&nbsp;</a>

If you can't be present when the time comes, then you may miss the opportunity.

If you can't be present when the time comes, then you may miss the opportunity. | SUCCESS

Why Managing My Energy Made My Life’s Big Moments Even Better

Why Managing My Energy Made My Life’s Big Moments Even Better | SUCCESS

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