7 Communication Mistakes You’re Making at Work

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<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-communication-secrets-of-great-leaders/">Communication takes work</a>, and it can be difficult—on both sides of the conversation—to improve it. You might not even realize that work needs to be done. But think about this: You probably spend more time second-guessing the intent behind poor communication than working to improve it.



“Oh, she didn’t copy me on purpose.”



“He’s withholding information to make my life harder.”



“Making us guess what he’s thinking is just a big power play.”



“Why would she put something that important in an email?”



“What’s that supposed to mean anyway?”



“Why did she copy my boss?”



Sound familiar?



Communicating well builds the most important ingredient of any <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/8-tips-to-improve-team-collaboration/">successful team</a>—trust. So take the time to establish clear expectations around how your team is communicating. Discuss where it’s working best and when it’s breaking down.



The good news is that once you’re aware something is wrong, you can fix it—like these seven common communication mistakes, which are all worth fixing, stat:



<h2 id="h-1-assuming-malicious-intent">1. Assuming malicious intent</h2>



Sure people play games—but not most of us, most of the time. Not everything is intentional, so don’t let an innocent oversight like being left off an email or out of a meeting degrade trust. Save yourself the angst (and drama) by going straight to the source and asking to be included—by clearing the air before it gets cloudy with assumptions.



<h2 id="h-2-hiding-behind-email">2. Hiding behind email</h2>



Email is fast and easy, but rarely effective for important communication. Never assume “they got the memo,” and your work is done. Don’t use email as a way to communicate bad news, or as a way to escalate over a peer’s head by copying their boss. Email’s a great supporting tool, but it seldom plays well as the lead medium.



<h2 id="h-3-failure-to-write-down-decisions">3. Failure to write down decisions</h2>



Great teams with <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbestechcouncil/2020/01/08/five-strategies-to-improve-communication-with-team-members/?sh=7270fec74536" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">excellent communication skills</a> can break down because they miss this simple step. High-trust teams will often raise a lot of creative ideas, debate pros and cons, then challenge the decisions some more. With all that discussion, team members each leave with their own memory of the decision, which may or may not match the recall of other team members. Writing down and reading back key decisions and next steps is an important way to keep everyone moving in the same direction.



<h2 id="h-4-wasteful-meetings">4. Wasteful meetings</h2>



Only hold a meeting if you’re looking to accomplish one of two things: <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/10-ways-successful-people-make-smart-decisions/">to make decisions</a> and/or to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/13-key-traits-of-strong-professional-relationships/">improve relationships</a>. If you’re looking to dump information or share simple updates, save everyone the time and put it in an email or post it some other way. So whenever you’re holding a meeting, ask yourself if it is truly the best use of every attendee’s time. If the answer is no, revisit your meeting invite to include only those who are most vital to the conversation and decision-making process.



<h2 id="h-5-spin">5. Spin</h2>



Nothing will make people tune out faster than smelling BS. If you want people to truly listen, be sure they can believe what you say. A <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescommunicationscouncil/2020/02/27/five-tips-for-developing-a-culture-of-communication/?sh=32d18da733da" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">culture of real communication</a> can only happen when people can count on one another for candor. Encourage transparency and truth-telling, starting at the very top.



<h2 id="h-6-boring-packaging">6. Boring packaging</h2>



Sounds basic, right? If you want people to listen, speak in an interesting way. Tell meaningful stories. Ditch the 35-page PowerPoint deck and explain why your project really matters.



<h2 id="h-7-inept-listening">7. Inept listening</h2>



Anthropologists don’t go to a scene with something to prove; they show up subtly and listen carefully. They ask great questions and create meaning from the responses. Imagine the possibilities if more managers listened to their people with the attitude of an anthropologist. Or if more sales reps worked to truly listen to what customers were saying about their lifestyles and values.



Nothing sends teams off track faster than poor communication. Avoid these common mistakes and you’ll go a long way toward improving <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/12-productivity-tools-and-strategies-to-help-you-seize-the-day/">your team’s productivity</a> and engagement.



This article was published in March 2016 and has been updated. Photo by GaudiLab/Shutterstock

Communication takes work and communicating well builds the most important ingredient of any successful team—trust. Take the time to establish clear expectations around how your team is communicating.

Communication takes work and communicating well builds the most important ingredient of any successful team—trust. Take the time to establish clear expectations around how your team is communicating. | SUCCESS

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Karin Hurt, Founder of Let’s Grow Leaders, helps leaders around the world achieve breakthrough results without losing their soul. A former Verizon Wireless executive, she has more than two decades of experience in sales, customer service and HR. She’s the author of two books: Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results-Without Losing Your Soul and Overcoming an Imperfect Boss.

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Karin Hurt

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No matter how smart and skilled your employees are, if they lack confidence that they can make a difference or that their voice will be heard, they’ll perform below their potential.

“My boss gave me this big new project and said he knows I’m the guy for the job. But I’m not so sure. I could use a sounding board, but I’m afraid I’ll look stupid if I ask for help. I’m not sure I can pull this off.”

“My manager is always telling me I’m doing great, but she never gives me any details. I’m not so sure. Quite frankly, I don’t think she’s really paying attention.”

“My boss says I’m his go-to guy. He’s always telling everyone how smart I am, but I think he’s got me pigeon-holed. If he really thought I was that good, he’d be expanding my role. I’m beginning to wonder about my future here.”

In each of these scenarios, the well-intentioned leaders were trying to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/8-ways-to-be-a-more-confident-person" title="8 Ways to Be a More Confident Person | SUCCESS.com">build confidence</a>, but their words aggravated the doubt.

Building confidence requires real conversation, not surface accolades. It starts by understanding what’s really going on.&nbsp; It requires getting into the muck and working a few levels below the obvious insecurity to understand what scares them.

The good news is that building confidence and competence go hand in hand. Confident employees are more likely to try new behaviors and approaches, which breeds creativity and more success.

These seven techniques will help you build a more confident, competent team:

<h2>1. Treat them with deep respect.</h2>

No one wants to feel like a project. Connect with them personally and <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/are-you-giving-employees-permission-to-speak-freely" title="Are You Giving Employees Permission to Speak Freely? | SUCCESS.com">really listen to what is going on</a>.&nbsp;Listen to the verbal cues they give about their lack of self-confidence and then treat them like the high-performers you know they are capable of becoming.

<h2>2.&nbsp;Be specific about what's right.</h2>

"You've got potential" will fall on deaf ears to someone who doesn't buy it. Be as specific as possible with examples when giving praise. "When you said X, did you see the conversation change? You are making a difference."

<h2>3. Have them teach others.</h2>

Take note of their very best skills and gifts, and have them share with others on the team. If they know they’re good at something specific, they’ll be more apt to have the confidence to speak about it with their peers. If they resist, start with having them help someone one-on-one and then evolve to bigger gigs.

<h2>4. Help them prepare.</h2>

Nothing builds confidence more than being the "smartest" guy in the room. The truth is, nine times out of 10, the "smartest" guy in the room is really the most prepared. Let them know that and ensure they do their homework by role playing the scenarios they’re most likely to face. The next time it will be easier.

<h2>5. Celebrate incremental improvements.</h2>

Have you ever tried <a href="https://letsgrowleaders.com/communication-listening/confidence_bursts/" target="_blank" title="Confidence Bursts: Interval Training To Drive Results">confidence bursts</a>? They’re like running or training bursts, followed by a period of “active recovery.” You can build more confidence and competence on your team by training them in intervals. It’s not the grueling hours, but the constant pushing on limits and stretching of competence levels that leads to growth.

<h2>6. Scaffold achievements.</h2>

Sure, throwing an employee into the deep end and having them figure it out may build confidence, but only if they don’t drown in the process. Far better to create a framework around them that provides support and check-ins along the way.

<h2>7. Encourage them through mistakes.</h2>

When an employee lacks confidence, even the smallest mistake will affirm their feelings of inadequacy. Help employees realize that failure is indeed a step to success. Teach them to “fail forward," to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/10-things-successful-people-never-do-again" title="10 Things Successful People Never Do Again | SUCCESS.com">make the most of their mistakes</a>.&nbsp;

Yes, building confidence&nbsp;takes time and energy. It's worth it. It creates long-term impact for the employee, for the team and for your company. Turning around confidence will rank high on your personal lifetime leadership achievement awards. No one will call it out, but you'll know, and so will they.

<a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/the-8-most-common-leadership-interaction-styles" title="The 8 Most Common Leadership Interaction Styles | SUCCESS.com">How do you interact with employees? There are 8 common styles—find out which one you are, plus how to leverage your strengths and weaknesses.</a>

Tear down the doubt and insecurity your team members face with these tips.

Tear down the doubt and insecurity your team members face with these tips. | SUCCESS

7 Ways to Build Your Employees' Self-Confidence

7 Ways to Build Your Employees&#8217; Self-Confidence

7 Ways to Build Your Employees' Self-Confidence | SUCCESS

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You don&rsquo;t mean to be a jerk. But chances are, there&rsquo;s at least one habit that drives your team crazy. The tragic truth is, the more foolish you are, the less likely they&rsquo;ll be to tell you. Here are a few common jerky behaviors and how to avoid them.The Big 5 Jerky Behaviors1. Kissing up while crushing downYou drop everything to support your boss. You treat her with deep respect, and move mountains to accomplish whatever she asks. The problem is all that responsive urgency leaves your team spinning, stressed and overworked.How to fix it:&nbsp; Treat your team with the same level of respect you give your boss. Be just as professional and polite. Consider the impacts before making commitments. Check in frequently on employees&rsquo; workloads and discuss their priorities with them.2. Caring more about your career than their developmentNothing&rsquo;s more aggravating than a boss who thinks it&rsquo;s all about them. Don&rsquo;t be the jerk who puts their career above all else. Your staff wants a boss who cares about them and the work they are doing.How to fix it:&nbsp; Take time to understand your employees&rsquo; career aspirations and invest deeply in each person. Develop a deep bench and cross-train so you don&rsquo;t feel the urge to hold onto your MVPs. Set goals for how many people you want to promote each year. Take those goals as seriously as your other targets.3. Wasting their timeIt&rsquo;s not fair to think that your time is more valuable than your team&rsquo;s. Fuzzy vision and disorganized meetings have huge opportunity costs.&nbsp;How to fix it: Don&rsquo;t make your staff wait for you or hold too many meetings. Keep to-do lists for each person on your team, and bring them several items at once, rather than distracting them each time you have a new task. Ask your team for feedback on how you can save them time.4. Ignoring their inputYour employees are one step closer to the customer than you. They&rsquo;ve got big ideas and want to share them. Jerky bosses think they know better.How to fix it: If you&rsquo;re not going to listen to their input, don&rsquo;t ask. If you want respect, respect their ideas.&nbsp;Slow down enough to be persuaded. <a href="https://letsgrowleaders.com/communication-listening/how-to-persuade-boss/" target="_blank" title="How to Persuade Your Boss | LetsGrowLeaders.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">Teach your team how to sell you their ideas.</a>5. Being moodyStress is contagious, particularly when the boss is the carrier. <a href="https://letsgrowleaders.com/communication-listening/dealing_with_moody_people_at_work/" target="_blank" title="Dealing with Moody People at Work | LetsGrowLeaders.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">Understand your moods</a> and work to release them somewhere other than on your team. Real leaders stay collected even during the toughest and most exciting times.How to fix it: Notice your patterns and what sets you off. Find other ways to <a href="https://successcom.wpenginepowered.com/article/11-strategies-for-managing-stress" target="_blank" title="11 Strategies for Managing Stress | SUCCESS.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">release your stress</a> (meditation, yoga, exercise, prayer). Encourage your team to give you a sign when the intensity is too much.Make it easy for your team to talk with you about how you make them feel. Many employees save their discretionary effort for people they respect.<a href="https://store.success.com/listraknewsletter" target="_self" title="SUCCESS Newsletters | SUCCESS.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">Find more content like this in Seeds of SUCCESS, a weekly newsletter with valuable ideas, tips and inspirational insight you can apply to your personal and professional life.</a>

You don&rsquo;t mean to be a jerk. But chances are, there&rsquo;s at least one habit that drives your team crazy. The tragic truth is, the more foolish

You don&rsquo;t mean to be a jerk. But chances are, there&rsquo;s at least one habit that drives your team crazy. The tragic truth is, the more foolish | SUCCESS

5 Reasons Your Employees Think You Are a Jerk

5 Reasons Your Employees Think You Are a Jerk | SUCCESS

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Karin Hurt

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7 Communication Mistakes You’re Making at Work

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