7 Things You Need to Do to Be a Functional Adult

It’s time to make your damn bed.
August 25, 2017

“It is these small discoveries and decisions that, in the end, allow you to behave like an adult. It’s developing those good habits; it’s having toast with peanut butter instead of cigarettes for breakfast. It’s not always, or even usually, fun,” Kelly Williams Brown writes in Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps. “But it has perks—personal pride, financial security, and the feeling of accomplishment and control that comes when you just swap in a new toilet paper roll rather than resorting to fast-food napkins.”

Step 10: Be OK with being alone.

You will be with yourself for the rest of your life, so you’d best learn to enjoy your own company.

Step 33: Make your bed, every morning.

It’s worth it, because then no matter what, there is a small, tiny space in the world that you know is orderly… a small testament to control over your universe.

Step 97: Act like you’ve been there before.

Whatever the event or situation, act as though you’ve been there before, not like a small and excitable country mouse. If you act like you belong, people will think you most certainly do.

Step 117: Imagine rude people as jellyfish.

Jellyfish do not respond to reason, they usually don’t respond to kindness, and they will always show up to ruin a fun party if possible. Therefore, your strategy is threefold: Avoid, neutralize, and, in rare circumstances, poke with a stick.

Step 166: Develop a good meeting face.

Meeting face is a curious, interested, yet neutral expression.

Step 195: Ignoring money issues won’t make them go away.

In fact, the opposite will happen.

Step 238: Do not skip oil changes.

This is the very best thing you can do to ensure your car has a long, happy car life…. This counts as something that is worth spending money on.

Related: Why Is Adulting So Hard? 


This article originally appeared in the September 2017 issue of SUCCESS magazine.

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