3 Ways to Deal With Difficult People

UPDATED: April 19, 2020
PUBLISHED: April 26, 2018

Have you ever found yourself dealing with difficult people? People who are hard to get along with? I want to give you three strategies to deal with difficult people. It starts with the acronym H.U.G.:

1. Hear them.

Step back and really hear what they’re saying, and then ask them, “Here’s what I heard you say. Is this what you meant?” Once they know that they’ve been heard, could it be that they may shift their behavior?

2. Do the Uncommon thing.

Let them know that you care. Empathize with them. Let them know, “I understand where you’re coming from.” That doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them, but to be there in that moment says to them, no one else has taken the time to go above and beyond—but you do, because you are uncommon.

3. Guide them.

Sometimes difficult people can project what is happening in them on you. If you don’t guide a person in how they should treat you, they will mistreat you. Really understanding how to guide a person in how they talk to you, how they engage with you, ensures that in a very difficult situation, you can remain respectful and honorable, but not allow them to use you.

Related: How to Find Yourself by Connecting With Others?

Simon T. Bailey is an international speaker, writer and personal transformation strategist. He is the author of Shift Your Brilliance: Harness the Power of You, Inc., and Be the SPARK: Five Platinum Service Principles for Creating Customers for Life. When he’s not working, he enjoys rooting for the Buffalo Bills (his hometown team).