John C. Maxwell: The Greatest Victory is Conquering Yourself

Leadership expert John C. Maxwell says the greatest victory he has every day is victory over self. "When people think of leadership, the common thought is a leader's greatest victory is with others. That is a normal and understandable thought process. Because what do leaders do? They lead others. But I have found that most of my problems in leadership are my problems," Maxwell says.

In his book, Winning with People, Maxwell takes a look at some principles that address victory over self. Here's a couple:

The Lens Principle:

Who we are determines how we see others. "This principle says once we get our own act together, we will be able to help others get their acts together. It's impossible, if I am an unhealthy leader, to have healthy followers. I have to fix myself. We don't see others as they are; we see others as we are, because each of us has his or her own bent and that colors our view of everything. What is around us doesn't determine what we see. What is within us does. For example, if I am an untrusting person, how you think I will see you? I will see you as untrustworthy. So anything that is unhealthy about me is going to spill onto you. That is what leaders have to understand. But as a leader, if I can get victory over myself, if I can fix John Maxwell, the odds are high I can help and fix others."

The Mirror Principle:

The first person we must examine is ourselves. "People unaware of who they are and what they do often damage relationships with others. The way to change that is to look in the mirror," Maxwell says. "A leader's tendency is to examine someone else, asking what is wrong with that person. Why aren't they doing their job correctly? Why don't they ever come to work on time? Unfortunately, this is how many leaders react. It's easy to teach leadership, it's difficult to model leadership."

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I hate chitchat. Hate it.

I know I am probably (not probably, definitely am) an overly intense person. I want to be engaged in something that is meaningful and "on purpose" at all times—even when I am "off" and not working. To sit around and shoot-the-(well, you know) and talk about the weather, football scores or the latest celebrity gossip pains me beyond belief. Ask my wife: A conversation goes shallow, and I’ll go in the other room and read a book or find something else "productive" to do.

So when I know I am going into chitchat terrain (like holiday parties and family functions) I gear myself up and review my chitchat strategy.

Here is what I know for sure:

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